Recently my husband and I got a puppy. We love the puppy very much, though she is not really trained. When we take the dog for a walk she tends to walk me instead of me walking her. When I was younger this behavior might not have bothered me, but you know, one of the side effects of aging is a sore shoulder after you’ve walked a very determined dog.
We did take the dog for training, and the trainer suggested things to do so the the dog stops this annoying behavior. The trainer says that when we are walking her (remember we are walking the dog not me) we should just stop whenever she starts to pull the leash. This way she will realize who is in charge (it’s supposed to be me in charge in case you were wondering)
.Walking the dog like this is very time consuming as one may have to stop after every step. It could take ten minutes to walk down the block!
I am willing to go through this process. I know that the end result is worth all the work. However, my Husband just does not see this in the same way that I do. After doing this for a minute he throws his hands up in the air and exclaims:
“This really isn’t that important to me. I just don’t care if she pulls the leash.”
This is very frustrating to me. If all the people that walk the dog don’t practice the desired behavior, it won’t work!
How do I get my Husband to understand how important this is to me?
Dear Dog Tired,
I completely understand your frustration! My Husband does things like this as well. His desire to be selectively lazy wears away at my patience.
Sometimes couples have to be on the same page. They must present a united front, because if they don’t, things go awry. It is important to understand which issues are important to your partner so that you can help them achieve their goals.
The biggest problem of couples not seeing eye to eye on domestic duties is that one partner will end up doing more of the work. Think about laundry and loading the dishwasher. How many fights are started because Partner A likes things done one way and Partner B doesn’t do it the same way?
While I realize that there can be many ways to load a dishwasher, if A really likes it done a certain way, shouldn’t B try to hop on board?
Alas, what tends to happen is that A ends up doing the dishwasher all the time. A begins to resent B for not helping. Then fights begin about other things…
You wanted advice, not reasons to be single…
OK- here’s all I got.
- talk to your partner about why you really need them to help you out on this issue- make them understand why it is important
- try not to control every aspect of domestic life. Let them do something their way. Make it something that doesn’t matter thought. For the love of all things good, make them replace the toilet paper when the roll is empty.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
- Do I have what it takes to be an advice columnist?
- Do you have arguments with your partner about domestic duties?
- How do you solve the problem of your partner not doing things the way you want them done?
- What does or doesn’t your partner do that drives you crazy?
- Should there be training for partners who don’t listen?
- Is every single person breathing a sigh of relief?
- Anything else that was touched on in todays column?