Think it Over…or Under

I’ve been thinking about thinking…

I feel when it comes to thinking, it’s sort of a three little bears experiment. We have Papa Over Thinking, and Mama Under Thinking and baby bear just right thinking. But like Goldilocks…how do we know when we’ve reached the level of thinking that is JUST RIGHT

Let’s start out with a premise that thinking is good. When you are about to do just about anything, the universal thought is probably that you should think about what you are doing. You shouldn’t cross the street without looking, you shouldn’t invest your money in shares of a bridge with a person that you met at the dollar store, you shouldn’t just pick some greenery from the forest and ingest it. You should at least glance at at least one possible consequence. So thinking = good

But let’s look at how thinking affects us by looking at the crossing the street example. If you decide not to look both ways, if you choose to not pay attention to your surroundings, if you decide to text while you walk, maybe you are thinking, but you are not necessarily thinking about the task at hand. If you don’t at least think about the possibility that cars could hit you, you are not thinking effectively. At some point you need to think about danger.

Now, if you are standing at the corner and think about the velocity of the cars, look to see if any car is faster or slower, if they seem to be swerving, if there are too many pedestrians, if the road is in good repair, etc there is a possibility that you will not get across the street. Ever. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be aware of the pitfalls that lie ahead, but you also have to learn to assess what could most likely happen from what will probably happen. Actually hearing the revving engine or a siren are actual signs that should heighten your senses. A truck three blocks away probably doesn’t matter in the ten seconds it takes to cross the street.

It’s very east to go from thinking to over thinking.

But what about under thinking? Do you just cross the street without looking? Do you hear the sirens but don’t stop to ascertain how close they are or from what direction they hail? Do you not look to see the pothole and try to avoid it?

But how do you know when crossing the street what the correct amount of thinking is? How does your brain make the connection from not to under to regular to over?

I guess part of the answer lies in distraction- how distracted are you when you are doing something. Thinking means that you have to be paying attention to something. Can you think when you are distracted? Yes, no and maybe. Sure, we say that we can multitask, but if nothing is getting 100% of our attention, are we really giving any of the things we are thinking about their proper due? When you are crossing the street, what percentage of your brain are you actually giving to it? Are you also thinking about work, family, where your life is going? Are you listening to music or a book? Are you holding the hand of a toddler or walking a dog? Are you texting? Haven’t we all seen at least one video of someone walking while texting who has fallen into a hole or fountain? Of course, we might call that “Not thinking”…

Next we have the risk thing. How much of a risk taker are you. I’m going to take a stance and say that over thinkers are less risk averse. I think over thinkers try to weigh out every single possibility that comes down the pike, so much so that they end up in a state of inertia. Instead of doing something they end up doing nothing. They become so bogged down in the thinking that they can’t move ahead. They are paralyzed with fear of taking a risk.

Impulsiveness, on the other hand, could be a sign of under thinking. Someone who decides spur of the moment, to take a leap, has probably not thought about the pros and cons of the situation at hand. They saw an opportunity and seized it. Depending on the situation, impulsiveness can be good or bad. Deciding on a whim to get on a train with a person you just met can have a delightful outcome. Deciding that jumping on top of that train might not work out so well for you. But yes- in both these cases, you should at least think a little bit about the consequences.

Personally, I think I can fall into any of the thinking categories. I don’t think, I under think, I think and I overthink. It all depends on what I’m doing. I have regretted things that I have done, and I have regretted things that I haven’t done. I have never overthought myself into paralysis though. I am actually a confident decision maker- I think, make pros and cons and decide. It’s neither good nor bad- it’s just me.

Food For Thought

  1. Do you consider yourself an over or under thinker
  2. Do you think it’s better/worse to be an over thinker (or under thinker)
  3. How much thought do you put into something before you move forward
  4. Have you ever been too scared to make a decision?
  5. Have you ever acted impulsively- what happened?
  6. Are you a risk taker
  7. What is your “just right” level of thought
  8. Anything at all that came to mind as you read my post

Need to Know

How often do you search things on the internet?

What does your browser history look like?

A few months ago one of my blog friends wrote about pulling up there history and looking at the last ten things they searched. I thought this was an interesting idea, so I jotted it down. Then I watched the HBO show “The Undoing” and watched an episode where the lawyer says that they looked at the profiles and search history of the perspective jurors.

Hmmmm

I have no idea about the legality of this, or if it actually does happen…but would it surprise you if people did look up your search history to see what kind of person you are?

Hmmmmm

So I looked at my browser, and these are the last 40ish searches:

  1. masala definition
  2. Masala powder
  3. specialty cakes- Veneiro’s
  4. Windmill cake
  5. wirelessly connect camera to computer troubleshoot
  6. MNR schedule
  7. Prince Tea House
  8. Segumo Salumeria
  9. Faiccos Italian Specialties
  10. IFC
  11. Hallmark Movies mystery schedule
  12. the next 20 items were all related to different kinds of reading exam tests
  13. the next 7 items were all restaurants
  14. ATT girl says she’s shamed over body image
  15. Film Forum

so…

If you look at my history, what does it say about me?

What kind of person am I?

Do you think this is a good indication of what type of person I am?

How would you describe me based on my search history?

Do you want me on your jury?

Do you want to be my friend?

Would you be interested in dating me?

After you read this post, and after you delete your browsing history, are you going to actively think about what you mindlessly type into the little browser bar?

How much googling do we need in our lives?

What’s the difference between the practical, like finding train schedules and movie times versus the sheer human interest, like why are people body shaming the actress on the commercial?

Does google make our lives better and easier, or does it just give us more to be distracted by?

On a scale on 1-10, how does google factor into your life? Does is make you better or worse?

Discuss

Sex is not Romance

Sex is…a bodily act…

Romance is another thing entirely…

So what’s the difference and why does it matter?

This is where I start to veer all over the place with this topic. We have the following random observations:

  1. Some people really like sex
  2. Some people really like romance
  3. Some people think romance is love
  4. Romance is often seen as the conduit to getting someone else have sex with you
  5. Romance is often associated with love
  6. People assume that if one person is romancing another, it means that they are in love
  7. People wrongly assume that if one person is romancing another, it means that they are in love
  8. Sometimes people romance another not because they are in love, but because they want to have sex
  9. Not everyone is romantic
  10. Everyone’s idea of romance is different

I could probably twist the words around a bit more, but you get the gist. Sex and romance are not the same but there are people who do not see the distinction. Or maybe they don’t want to see the distinction. I’m going to take a guess and say that people who want to be in love are going to take signs of romance as a sign of love.

Big mistake.

And I think this is where the problems start.

As I’ve been binge watching “The Big Bang Theory”, I came across an episode where Howard is planning something for the anniversary of his first date with his wife. Howard is known as being slightly oversexed. The Penny character (really attractive) begins to think that she never does anything romantic for her boyfriend. Her boyfriend (unsure about his attractiveness, but wants sex) does tend to do romantic things. The Sheldon character (not sexual at all) doesn’t do anything romantic, and his girlfriend complains about it. Raj, the character who desperately wants to be in love is clearly the most classically romantic of them all, and even romances all his friends in a friendship sort of way(and oddly, the only main character who ends up unmarried on the show)

Two male characters use romance as a way to show love and get sex

One male character doesn’t care about sex or common displays of love, so does nothing to romance his partner

One male character is innately romantic, yet, that seems to push women away

Is this a good correlation to actual life?

Could we start with a hypothesis that 50% of people use romance to get what they want, 25% don’t care one way or another, and 25% can’t find someone to love them the way they want to be loved? Would you say that out of the 50% who use romance to get sex, maybe only half of them are actually “in love”?

I am totally spitballing.

I have absolutely no idea about any of this, I’m just throwing our random observations and waiting for at least one of you (Deb) to make some sense of what I’ve said.

For Write my Blog Thursday, give me any observations about the correlation between romance and sex and love.

Why is this such a hard topic to think or write about? Is it impossible to define, or do we just not want to look behind the curtain of what this all actually means? Do we want to cling to any illusions that we harbor about sex or romance or love?

Discuss

https://anchor.fm/laover50

I Love a Good Oxymoron

What do you think about things that seem to embody opposite qualities?

An animal that is so unique to almost be considered ugly but in that uniqueness it’s totally adorable?

A food that is both sweet and spicy?

A work of art so incredibly genius yet hard to look at, read or experience because it contains so much that is awful?

I love a good contradiction: to me, contradictions add depth where there really ought not to be. And the one I’ve been thinking about lately is thus:

Hard working lazy people.

How do I define these people?

Well, I will use my poor husband as the example. He will decide to mop the floor. First he will get the mop out and ask me to assemble it properly…because…you know…my degree in engineering and all…(not). Then he will proceed to do about half the area that he should mop. Then he will leave the mop and the cleaning solution out somewhere in the house. Like, the solution will be on the floor next to a chair, and the mop will be against the wall in the bedroom.

Hard working enough to decide without nagging that the floor needs to be mopped. Lazy enough to not do the job thoroughly and put the utensils away.

I, on the other hand, am an energetic slacker. When I decide to do something I do it 100%. I have the right tools, I set up a workstation, I have a lot energy when I get involved in a project. However, I really really really need to be motivated to tackle something. I will not normally wake up and say- “Gee- I need to mop.”

I wonder if this has to do with the planner/no planner mentality. I use a planner. I detail everything I need to do. I keep lists. My husband is the opposite- though he keeps a date book he rarely checks it. Maybe he makes one list a year…

We are both self motivated- yet our paths of motivation are different. I need to think about it and know that I can do the whole job in a certain way. My Husband is more impulsive- he gets the idea and just does it.

Neither of us are right or wrong: it’s just how we handle things. Luckily our shared traits have produced our daughter: energetic and hard working. But never fear: she has her own particular brand of oxymoron’s.

What are your personal oxymoron’s? What qualities do you have that seem to be opposite in one way or another?

Do you have a favorite contradiction? A combo that is a little bit (or a lot) odd that really makes you feel something. I know the chocolate covered bacon fad is something I can’t really fathom but there are people who LOVE it…

Think- reflect-

Discuss…

Do You Want to Know?

I recently read “The Immortalists” by Chloe Benjamin.  This is not a review of the book, but rather a look at it’s main hypothesis.  I don’t consider anything I am about to write in the spoiler category, be forewarned.

The basic premise of this book revolves around knowing the exact date that you will die.  So my question is:  if you knew when you were going to die, would you live your life differently?

I have given this a lot of thought since reading the book.  How would I live my life?

I have a tremendous fear of heights, but mainly it revolves around falling.  If I am in an observatory, I am fine looking down as long as the environment is enclosed.  If it’s open, well, I’m twenty feet away from the edge.  Some of you remember my summer lighthouse adventure, when I was felled by the 15 steps I had to climb down, and I actually considered moving into the top of the lighthouse.  But really, I’m afraid of falling because I’m afraid of dying.  If I knew that I was not going to die the day of the lighthouse visit, would I descend the stairs more calmly because I knew this was not to be my day?

Then you have the other side.  One of the reasons I exercise is to keep healthy.  I think exercise is good for the heart, the muscles and the brain.  I think it helps you live longer.  But what if i found out my demise would be early?  Would I spend my time doing something I enjoy more, like laying on the couch reading?  Would I spend my time being less healthy because trying to be healthy doesn’t really matter because it’s not going to actually effect my life?

Though I usually overthink everything, including trips to the dry cleaner, I am amazed that I have never thought about this idea.  I guess the rational part of my brain knows that this kind of knowledge is not logical.  This is not something even computers can predict with any great accuracy, and I don’t believe a Buzzfeed quiz would be helpful either.  So rationally, I’m out.

But….

I like to think I am open minded.  I like to think that everything is possible until proven otherwise.  But is it possible to predict the day of demise?  And does it matter?

What do you all think?  Is it possible to know?  Do you want to know?  Would you live your life differently?