Posted on by LA · 49 Comments

Little Luxuries

I had a craving for ramen.

I went to the ramen place a few blocks from my house, sat at the counter, and ordered a bowl of ramen.

I’ve written about this matter of factly- but in matter of fact, I rarely go out to a sit down restaurant by myself in the middle of the week and order a meal.

I don’t have a phobia about eating/doing things by myself. I love food and restaurants. But I almost never go out to a sit down meal by myself. Sure, I’ve grabbed fast casual when I’ve been out and about, but waiter service? Rarely.

I guess I think of waiter service food as a treat- it’s something to be savored as a meal rather than merely sustenance. Which I guess makes the real question…

Why do I not want to treat myself?

We could go into the whole mother/wife/woman mindset- how many of us will give our families the best of us and leave the crumbs to ourselves…

We could ponder why I don’t think I deserve this…

Or…

I could just be thankful on the day I craved ramen I just went out and got myself some. That on that particular day, I didn’t overthink, I didn’t question myself or sociological constructs, I just took my e reader out to lunch, and enjoyed a spicy bowl of tonkatsu, no nuri or egg, with curly noodles.

Try not to think about what others expect of you: try to think about what you expect of you.

Sometimes we have to allow ourselves some little luxuries.

Posted on by LA · 48 Comments

Too Much is Too Much

I can be a little obsessive about planning things, an

d in turn carrying them out. While I find it easy to turn off responsibility sometimes (it might be a day or three before I clean the toilet) when it comes to certain things I can be quite rigid. And with this rigidity comes things that are supposed to be fun…

I had spent a few days in DC with my Daughter. These days were full of fun and camaraderie and such. But as I was in DC, things didn’t get done back in NYC. So when I got home I really did have to play catch up on all things practical.

But there were all those self care rituals in place…

And vows of doing certain things every week…

And I found myself drowning in my rituals and plans and the things I was supposed to be doing for relaxation were starting to stress me out because I was doing them out of a sense of obligation instead of a sense of being kind to myself.

By trying to fit all these things in, I ended up being unkind to myself… I ended up more stressed than if I hadn’t practiced any self care…

Too much of a good thing can end up being bad… When something goes from a hobby to an obsession you can end up in trouble.

In my case, making sure I got to the Met and did an at home facial three times a week wasn’t going to break me…but are there things in your life that start out as good but lead you down a very bad road? Are there things that begin to overwhelm you and lead you to start to spiral?

Know yourself. Know when you have to scale back. To riff on Coco Chanel, before you leave the house, take one thing off your plate. Sometimes less is more.

Posted on by LA · 62 Comments

I’m Ready for my Close up

I recently got new glasses-

When you pick up glasses from the optometrist, they always make you try them on to make sure they fit properly and that the lenses are where they are supposed to be. As I was testing them out, they had a magnifying mirror that I was supposed to look into.

Did you ever really look at your eyes and eye area close up?

I had bought a very inexpensive eye shadow to wear during COVID as I was not wearing make up every day. It seemed fine when I paid 2.99 for it…

Until I really really really looked at my eye area.

While I was supposed to be checking my glasses out to make sure I could, you know, see…

All I could concentrate on was the little glistening mica crystals that seemed to form right under my eye. It looked ridiculous zoomed in about 15x normal rate….I mean, was this how I was walking around the past nine months?

AHHHHH…

My undereye area looked like it had been caught in a glittery dust storm…my eye shadow managed to be everywhere but my eye lid and I hadn’t noticed…

While I realized that my eye shadow game was a clear disaster, I realized something else.

My mascara- amazing. Caught almost every lash.

But the crowning jewel was my eye liner. It was literally and figuratively on point. I mean, the line I drew across my lashline was perfect. Both eyes looked exactly the same liner wise… I didn’t know that eye liner perfection existed…

It was so good to figure out my make up game. I mean is there anything more important than perfecting eye liner?

Oh, BTW…

The glasses are fine too

Posted on by LA · 51 Comments

The Day I Felt Old

I’m a relatively healthy person.  When I go for my physical, my numbers are all in line with what they should be.  Though I have lousy sinuses and am plagued with sinus colds, for the most part, I don’t get sick.  Until this year, the last time I used antibiotics had been ten years ago when I had bronchitis.  Until this April.

In April I got pneumonia.  It was hideous.  Started out as a really bad cold, then turned into pneumonia.  Now I know that pneumonia is dangerous: it is not something to be taken lightly, but still…

I was supplied with my drug cocktail: two antibiotics, two cough medicines and a steroid.  I learned early on that I had to stagger taking the medicine so I wouldn’t feel sick (you know what I mean).  I created a spreadsheet. (no- I am never too sick to create a spreadsheet)  But early on I learned a simple fact: there’s a reason why an antibiotic protocol is ten days- because you need ten days to get better.  See, last time I used antibiotics I didn’t need the cycle to feel better- I started to feel better after one day of medicine. But not this time.  This time I didn’t feel better till after my protocol was over.  This made me feel old.  My body no longer recovered right away.  I was human…

Human?  You mean I’m not a super hero? WTF?

Old?  Too old to recover quickly?  WTF?

This was a rude awakening, which led me to my next revelation.  I need to take better care of myself.

When I first got the cold, I didn’t slow down.  I pushed my way through the cold.  I didn’t increase my sleep, I continued with my thousand activities and social commitments and chores.  I pushed myself, because that’s what I always do.

Big mistake.

Huge.

Because if I had rested when the cold started, it probably would not have turned into pneumonia.

Now I refer to my life as BP (before) and AP (after) because pneumonia was a giant wake up call: I need to take better care of myself.  I need to sleep more.  I need to make sure I eat properly.  And I need to impose limits on myself.  It’s fitting that this post comes the day after my discussion of my new planner, because I need to plan my life a little differently now.  I still have a long list of daily things that must get done- there are things that must get done on a daily basis.  But now, instead of cramming fifteen extra things, I choose a top three (I’ve always had a top three but now I stick to it).  If I am feeling OK, I will pull a few things off the list.  But if I’m tired, I rest.  If I’m tired I delegate.  If I’m tired I decide if it’s really that important.  I cross things off the list without doing them.

The delegation is hard for me.  It has nothing to do with my lack of self worth (see last week) but all about being independent and doing things my way and on my own schedule.  I am pretty persnickety about how I like things and I have to swallow hard when I watch my family fold clothes or unpack groceries.  I have to stop myself from rearranging the fridge shelves because they don’t do it the right way.  Because something had to change and that something is me.

So, I’m going to try to limit my slightly OCD tendencies (no- I am not diagnosed OCD, I just have certain behaviors that probably have some sort of OCD route) I’m going to try to be more mindful of my health.  I know me, and I know this will not be easy.  But I know that it’s what is best for me.

Posted on by LA · 84 Comments

The Comfy Blanket

I bought a blanket yesterday.  A throw actually, you know, it’s the kind of thing that sits on the edge of you bed or you couch, and you pull it over yourself as you sip your tea and read your book, maybe nibble on a cookie.  A soft, comfy blanket.

I know you’re now thinking, OMG, is she going to write a blog about buying a blanket?

Yes, I am.

I am a somewhat frugal person.  I try not to spend money unnecessarily. I also don’t like buying things on principal- I have a small apartment with very little storage space.  I’m pretty Kondo in that if I don’t love it I don’t buy it.  So I carefully weigh every purchase before I take out the plastic.

Now I have a throw that resides on my couch.  It’s a bit old, and a bit beat up, but it’s still functional.  Technically, I didn’t need a new one.  Technically.  But we had a run of below freezing temperatures.  I’d read a book about Hygge…..

Hygge.  Do you know about it?  It’s the Danish concept of warm and comfy.  They espouse scented candles, game nights, fireplaces, hot beverages, comfy clothes, and soft luxurious throws.  Yes.  A lifestyle philosophy that is all about comfort.  Sign me up.

So when I was shopping for practical things (my neck needed a new pillow badly) I managed to wander over to the blanket section.  It was like 15 degrees out, and I sat there rubbing my hands over all these blankets.  It would have been erotic if not for the fact I was in a large, florescent lit store, and the blankets were housed in industrial shelving.

But I didn’t buy the blanket.  I walked out of the store with my pillow but nothing else.

I dreamt about the blanket.  Seriously.  I woke up with visions of velvety soft blankets running through my head.  The good angel on one shoulder said “You don’t need the blanket.  Save the 24.99 minus the 20% off coupon.  That can be used for something else.”  Other shoulder, bad angel said “Oh just buy the freaking blanket.  It’s a blanket.  It’s practical.”

Yesterday, I caved.  I walked to the store.  You can actually blame that on the above freezing temperatures- I was thinking of it as exercise cause it takes 15 minutes to walk to the store.  I went to the lower level (see- you can make any sort of analogy you want about me having to descend to get the blanket).  I grabbed the blanket after I found the most luxurious one and sprinted up the escalator to the registers.  I was buying it before I changed my mind.

I walked home with a big smile on my face.

And last night,  I cut open the packaging, took the cardboard stays out, and just pushed my face into it.  Oh, the soft velvety feel on my face.  I put on my pajamas, brewed a pot of tea, grabbed my e reader and curled up on the couch.  I pulled the blanket over me.

So happy.

Sometimes you have to do something for yourself.  Sometimes you have to get exactly what you want.  I don’t mean shopping as therapy- I don’t believe in that.  But every now and them you’re allowed to have a treat.  My treat was this soft, luxurious wonderful blanket.  It just made me feel good.  And tonight, it will make me feel good.  And tomorrow…..

You get the idea.