Sex is…a bodily act…
Romance is another thing entirely…
So what’s the difference and why does it matter?
This is where I start to veer all over the place with this topic. We have the following random observations:
- Some people really like sex
- Some people really like romance
- Some people think romance is love
- Romance is often seen as the conduit to getting someone else have sex with you
- Romance is often associated with love
- People assume that if one person is romancing another, it means that they are in love
- People wrongly assume that if one person is romancing another, it means that they are in love
- Sometimes people romance another not because they are in love, but because they want to have sex
- Not everyone is romantic
- Everyone’s idea of romance is different
I could probably twist the words around a bit more, but you get the gist. Sex and romance are not the same but there are people who do not see the distinction. Or maybe they don’t want to see the distinction. I’m going to take a guess and say that people who want to be in love are going to take signs of romance as a sign of love.
And I think this is where the problems start.
As I’ve been binge watching “The Big Bang Theory”, I came across an episode where Howard is planning something for the anniversary of his first date with his wife. Howard is known as being slightly oversexed. The Penny character (really attractive) begins to think that she never does anything romantic for her boyfriend. Her boyfriend (unsure about his attractiveness, but wants sex) does tend to do romantic things. The Sheldon character (not sexual at all) doesn’t do anything romantic, and his girlfriend complains about it. Raj, the character who desperately wants to be in love is clearly the most classically romantic of them all, and even romances all his friends in a friendship sort of way(and oddly, the only main character who ends up unmarried on the show)
Two male characters use romance as a way to show love and get sex
One male character doesn’t care about sex or common displays of love, so does nothing to romance his partner
One male character is innately romantic, yet, that seems to push women away
Is this a good correlation to actual life?
Could we start with a hypothesis that 50% of people use romance to get what they want, 25% don’t care one way or another, and 25% can’t find someone to love them the way they want to be loved? Would you say that out of the 50% who use romance to get sex, maybe only half of them are actually “in love”?
I am totally spitballing.
I have absolutely no idea about any of this, I’m just throwing our random observations and waiting for at least one of you (Deb) to make some sense of what I’ve said.
For Write my Blog Thursday, give me any observations about the correlation between romance and sex and love.
Why is this such a hard topic to think or write about? Is it impossible to define, or do we just not want to look behind the curtain of what this all actually means? Do we want to cling to any illusions that we harbor about sex or romance or love?