I had a friend who wanted to be a professional musician. He was quite a good guitarist, and focused on getting better. Along with 3 of his friends he formed a band. They wrote their own songs and had a decent local following. They put out a modest album and toured the country. Not big name locales, but colleges and bars. This went on for about 8 years, this life on the road. Another album, some rock festivals. He had achieved his dream.
He wasn’t sure if he made the right decision. He went for his dream instead of going to college.
“But” I said to him, “you did it. You lived your dream. You were a musician. You had actual albums and actual fans. You supported yourself with your music for years. You were a success.”
“Ahh” he responded. “I guess I really wanted to be a rock star. I wanted all the trappings. And I didn’t get that. I wasn’t a rock star. I went for it and I failed. I think I would have preferred the ‘what if’. At least I could still be a rock star in my dreams. Now my dreams are how I didn’t make it.”
Now, I thought he was crazy. I thought he was awesome cause he went for it. He gave it his all. I couldn’t imagine why he was upset with his decision. I have always been a firm believer in just go for it. The only decisions you regret are the ones you don’t follow through on. That’s my mantra.
Last month I talked about contacting an old friend I’d had a falling out with. I debated whether or not it was worth it, opening up the old wound. And I reached out to this person. And I got no response. Nothing.
Well, on one side, I know that this friendship is definitely over.
On the other side I was a jumble of emotions. Pissed, hurt, annoyed, sad.
I regretted reaching out. I thought that maybe I would rather have the thought of not knowing.
I thought that my friend had been right. Not knowing is better. (Now I know- his situation was much greater than my situation. But you know, when you’re in the middle of something you think it is the greatest dilemma ever)
But them after some soul searching, I realized that it was better knowing that our friendship couldn’t be revived.
I was back on the “Just go for it” train.
Now this brings me to last weeks post about my daughter prepping for the SAT. Most of you thought I was a bit crazy and over analytical about the situation. But, here’s the thing: I want my daughter to know she did everything possible to get into the school(s) she wants. I want her to know that she left nothing on the table, that she did what was needed to achieve her goal/dream. My job as her parent is to help her reach her goal, whatever that is. That’s what we do for the people we love. We help them on their journey.
I supported my Husband when he went back to school. My Husband and Daughter support me in my dream of writing a novel. We support her on her quest of the green, leafy walls.
Go for it.
If you fail, you know you tried.
Because if you fail at one thing, you get the opportunity to find another dream.
If you never try, you spend your whole life wondering “What if”.
And “what if” ends up giving you nightmares. Because you realize you never tried.
Go For It