Posted on by LA · 83 Comments

Accomplish That…

Is it a bad thing if, in the course of your life, you don’t “accomplish” anything?

I know what some of you are thinking: Don’t we all accomplish things just by existing every day? We go to elementary and high school. 35% graduate college. We hold jobs and buy houses and cars. We raise families. We have jobs. We all have a laundry list of things that we start and complete- which we do and we should give ourselves lots of credit for these daily and lifelong wins. But what about those slightly out of reach things? Is it bad if we never reach for something that is sort of out of our league?

The other day, I wrote about how I decided, after years of filling up Google Docs, that I wanted to send some of my writing off to contests. I wanted to try to “do” something so I would feel like a writer. Some people reminded me that if you write, you’re a writer- a sentiment which I wholly believe- this is a very true statement that I have told legions of people I know who write. Right now though, at this stage of my life, I guess I feel I need to accomplish something- namely, have someone other than myself say that my writing is OK: have someone other than myself choose to publish it. Would it be a bad this if I didn’t try to do anything else with my writing?

How do we feel about accomplishments?

Does everyone need to have something to strive for?

Have you ever set a goal, like cooking all the recipes from a cookbook, or winning a local darts trophy?

Tell me about something you accomplished, a goal you set and met- OR- tell me why you don’t think it’s important to set a goal.

Discuss:

Posted on by LA · 53 Comments

1/3 1/3 1/3

Have you heard about the rule of thirds?

I recently read a very good memoir: Bravey by Alexi Pappas. Pappas is an Olympian and producer/actor/writer. She has conquered her own demons. Pappas has packed a lot into a relatively young life…

One of the tricks (i don’t know what to call it, so I’ll go with tricks) is the rule of thirds. The rule of thirds is as follows:

When you’re chasing a big goal, you’re supposed to feel good a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and crappy a third of the time

Alexi Pappas Bravey

This explains the success Pappas has had. She is willing to push through the pain in order to achieve her goals.

But…

Does this translate to little goals as well as big ones?

What if your goals are more modest? (Modest goals are okay: you set the rules for your life. You are allowed to have any goal, or no goal…)

My goal is to blog five days a week. I feel good when I blog every single time that I do it. Does this mean I’m doing it wrong? Should I be pushing myself to write deeper, show pain, write better? Should I feel crappy right now as I write?

If you feel lousy a third of the time you are doing something, is it worth doing?

Does the end justify the means?

Which leads me to: what if you embody this rule of thirds, and you go after your goal. You spend years feeling good a third of the time, 2/3 of your life is blah at best. Then something happens at zero hour to derail your goals. Maybe you teammate or coworker gets sick, maybe there’s a fire in your factory, maybe you lose…if you spent years feeling great only 1/3 of the time in pursuit of this goal, how well do you recover? Are you so used to pain that it doesn’t matter? Or are you depressed and feel like you’ve wasted your life?

Lots to discuss here…lots of food for thought.

What do you think? Do you have a goal? How do you feel while trying to accomplish it? Have you accomplished something via the rule of thirds?

What say you all?

Posted on by LA · 80 Comments

Noisy

I am a fan of self help/live a better life books. I always garner a little wisdom from them, plus they always motivate me to be a little better person. After a year like we’ve had, I need a little self love.

One of the books I read recently was “The Lemonade Life How to Fuel Success, Create Happiness and Conquer Anything”- Zack Friedman.

This is a bit of a rah rah, yay you sort of book. Find out the distractions and live your best life yay team….

I like those kind of books…and if you like this kind of books, this is worth a look.

But anyway…

Here’s one takeaway I got from the book:

Friedman states that “noise” is a thief who steals focus and prevents you from achieving your vision and realizing your goals. (Chapter 9)

So what are your “noises”? What are the things that suck the creativity from you?

Here are some of mine:

  1. Husband working out of the living room- seriously- I can’t think, let alone do anything that causes actual noise (I was unable to have a phone conversation with a friend yesterday because my husband was in meetings all day and there is no place left for me to talk except the bathroom…which I just can’t do…
  2. I manage to find a game every month that does suck away at my time- I get really into it and I become hyper focused on it to the point where I have to set up time windows
  3. writing truth in my work that no one will say could ever happen- when you put yourself on a page, and thinking/knowing that people are judging and doubting
  4. communication with my Mom- she just argues about everything…

So-

What are your noises? What are the things that distract you from achieving your dreams?

What do you do to get through the things that block you?

How do you reach your goals?

Discuss

Posted on by LA · 32 Comments

Pre Season

One month from now, most of you will be giving up on your New Years resolutions. Seriously- think about it: On January first, the world is your oyster.  You are going to lose weight, drink less, exercise more, organize your closet, learn Mandarin…whatever.  And then, all of a sudden it’s December fourth and you’re done.

How do you change that mindset?

Think of it like this: do athletes just show up at the field/arena/stadium and play? Or do they start training weeks earlier?

Yeah….weeks earlier.  So when the season starts they are warmed up and ready and have a game plan.

So think of December as your pre season to New Years Resolutions.

  1. What? Pick one resolution (I call them goals) Think about it- It’s better to succeed at one then fail at four.
  2. Why? Make sure you want to change or resolve for the correct reasons (do you want to lose weight because you want to feel better, or because you think you will attract a partner if you’re thinner?)
  3. Who? Find a buddy to talk to about your resolution, or an expert that will give you logical advice.  Think about Doctors, trainers and teachers that can help you succeed.
  4. Where? Figure out if you need a place to help your goal.  Gym? Dedicated writing area? I know people who fail at writing goals because they don’t have a place to write that makes them feel comfortable to be creative.
  5. How? This is the big one.  How are you going to accomplish your resolution? Here’s my one cent: Make a plan. Figure out what tools you need. Look to the internet for advice (this is the good thing about the net- the plethora of information available at your fingertips) Write out the steps and put them in your planner (you know my secret goal is to get all of you to use a planner)
  6. When? When things get tough, when things don’t go the exact way you want (your triceps are still wiggly) what will be your motivation to get to the next step?

You don’t have to resolve to do anything- but let’s face it: most of us do. So if you’re going to set up a goal for 2019, you might as well prepare yourself the best you can. You can’t just wake up on January first and know how you’re going to learn Mandarin. Make it that January first starts your new timeline.  January One is the day you do a duolingo that you have already registered for.

Prep work.  It’s a good thing. It can help you get to where you are going.

 

Posted on by LA · 53 Comments

Mission: ____________

I’m going to tell you a secret about my husband: he wants to be a spy.  Seriously, if he could go back in time and learn stealth, agility and how to look inconspicuous, he would be a spy.  Loves the movies, loves the books, loves anything about the genre.  So, when I read that a spy museum was opening up in the city, off we went.

Now, Spyscape is kitschy, and a bit silly, but we loved it!!!  Basically you go to kiosks and answer questions about logic, risk taking and personality.  There are a few active rooms where you try spy techniques.  Personally, I loved the surveillance room, where you don a headset and need to look around the room and spot what your handler is telling you to look for.  So much fun.

After you complete all the circuits, they tell you what your spy job would be based on the answers and abilities you possess.  My husband was assigned Agent Handler.  I was a hacker.  I was actually a little bummed because I always thought I would make a good profiler. But hacker it is.

Why hacker you ask?  Well, here’s a little secret about me:  I’m a math girl.  After going through all the tests, my math skills are what stood out above all else.  I get those questions where you have to figure out what pattern comes next in a sequence, or which number is next in a sequence.  There it is, my dirty little secret:  I’m good at math related things.

I see patterns.  I can draw a correlation between two things that seem to have absolutely nothing in common.  I’m an analyzer of information, and I’m really good at it.  My brain is fueled by logic.

So what’s the problem?  Well, I don’t want to be a math girl.  I want to be a writing girl.  Every day I try to be a writing girl.  My goal is to write a novel, so every day I go against my natural type to try for something else.  Some days it is easy to blog and to work on my book:  other days it’s a slog.  But I keep going.

And that’s my little message for today:  no matter what anyone says, be true to yourself.  Go for your dreams.  Though maybe you’ve been labeled as a hacker, that shouldn’t stop you from being a novelist.  Now you try it:  fill in the blanks.

I’ve been labeled a ________________, but it’s not going to stop me from being a _______________.

What are your words?