Posted on by LA · 87 Comments

Another Blog About Shoes

My Daughter thinks I should up my shoe game.

Argh

I have reached the magical age where I tell my Mother the things that she needs to do, and I send her reminders AND my daughter tells me all the things that are wrong with my personal style. Who said your late fifties weren’t fun?!

I recently went to a wedding. As I had tossed all my dressy shoes out early in pandemic (I decided that heels were the devil) I needed to purchase a pair of shoes that looked nice with my fun, party dress, but also treated my feet like the ladies that they are. So I bought a low heel shoe with some sparkle on top. Cute and practical and good for an evening out. I loved them. I showed them to my daughter via Zoom. She was less than impressed. Way less…

“How could you wear those shoes?” she asked

“I put them on my feet, strap the buckle and I walk” I replied.

She was not amused.

“Why are you making yourself old?” she asked.

I took a beat and thought about it. Does buying low heeled shoes signify getting old? Does it mean I no longer care how I appear to others? Does it mean that I am giving up?

Maybe.

Maybe.

No.

I guess that the beauty of aging is realizing what is important to the individual. Yes, perhaps buying lower heels as I age signifies that my feet are not quite as springy as they used to be. I have some tendon issues that make angling my foot in a heel very tenuous. It also makes wearing flip flops a problem because I can’t really “grip” with my toes without causing pain. With age comes the realization that I don’t have to be put fashion first.

I also care about the way I look. I really wanted my shoes to match the look of my dress. I was wearing a cocktail dress, and I I wanted cocktail shoes…I wanted something that was a little fancier than my everyday kicks. However…I don’t care what others think of my look. If people mock me due to my pretty yet sensible shoes, so be it.

Of course, wearing low heeled shoes does not mean that I am old. It just means that I don’t wear high heeled shoes. Period. One does not correlate to the other.

We all change as we age. We toss some things out as we bring others in. It’s neither good nor bad: it’s just learning who we are and what makes us happy. So cheers to the upside of aging- figuring out who we are and liking it.

Posted on by LA · 32 Comments

The Fit

We use clothes to help us fit in.

Period.

Even if we are brimming with confidence, many of us feel the need to look the part. One of my NYC friends will be attending a wedding in ruralish North Carolina this fall. When I was talking to her the other day, she was already obsessing. And the wedding isn’t till October.

“I have nothing to wear!” She whined.

“How about that cute black dress” I asked

“Gee. I won’t stand out like a New Yorker at all in that…”

And this went back and forth for awhile, her ruling out every dress she owned and me asking her to video chat her closet to me so I could talk her off the wall. She became obsessed with wanting to fit in, though she had absolutely no idea what fitting in would entail. I asked  her “what about the nice navy, just wear it with a chunky heel neutral shoe”, because I’m betting outdoors will be involved in some way. She started trolling clothing websites no matter what I said. And I could already envision her putting the new dress up for sale on her local Mom website because she was going to buy a dress she didn’t like just because of her need to be part of the group.

This is where dressing for yourself and dressing for the occasion and location collide.

Sure- we have some sort of inbred desire to be part of the group. I’m going to say it’s probably something to do with our evolutionary need to survive- fitting in is sort of like camouflage- if we blend in we won’t get hunted. And by hunted I mean talked about. No one wants to walk into a room and feel that everyone is talking about them. And if we don’t feel comfortable in what we are wearing, if we feel out of place, we’re going to think that every conversation entails people saying “Can you believe she’s wearing that?”  Every time someone looks at us we think they’re staring with disdain and derision. If we don’t feel like we’re part of the group we’re going to check the mirror about a thousand times, pull down hems, readjust sleeves….and be miserable…

I get wanting to fit in via clothes. And traveling to a different environment cements this in. I can tell a tourist in NYC by their clothes. Just like you can tell I’m a tourist when I visit someplace else. Different parts of the country have different dress codes. But how much do we accede to regional dress? If we visit the southwest do we immediately put on cowboy boots? If we go south do we wear pastels? Do we automatically shift to our environment? Change the camouflage? Seek to fit in?

I will tell anyone visiting NYC in the spring to have waterproof shoes and layers. But that’s not to fit in: that’s about being comfortable with the varied weather patterns that NYC presents. I would never tell someone to just pack black. To me fitting in means being ready for the weather.

When we visited different parts of the country last summer I did not bring “Southern” clothes or “Midwest” clothes. I brought my clothes. My collection of black, grey and olive t shirt dresses. My comfy black sandals. My white sneakers. I did bring a function over form bag that I don’t normally use at home, but that was because I really needed the function. And I didn’t care that people knew where I was from before I opened my mouth and my accent spewed out. I was OK with my way of dressing. I am OK with my way of dressing.

When you travel, you travel. The person that you are. Just wear what makes you comfortable and happy. The rest will fall into place.

Though really- there’s nothing wrong with a nice pair of cowboy boots…

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by LA · 57 Comments

I’m Just Being Myself

Yesterday I wrote a post about how I realized that I have created a uniform of sorts: I have a basic layer and then I add something to show the direction in which I need to carry myself for the day. Ally mentioned that we should always be ourselves when we dress, which I agree with. We should always wear what makes us comfortable and feel confident.

Except…

I love the show “Modern Family”. There’s an episode where the family goes to Disneyland, and Gloria (true to herself) go in high heels. To Disney. After complaining for awhile, Jay guys her slippers. After she puts them on she is much happier. Now I know this is a sit com, and I know they go to extremes to prove a point, but think about the underlying principle: Gloria is an incredibly sexy character who is always dressed sexy, including heels. It is who she is. But…she’s going to an amusement park. Does she need to totally be herself in this environment? Or should she adapt?

Say you’re a jeans and t shirt kind of person. Say you get invited to a cocktail party. Do you show up in jeans and t shirt? Do you proudly walk in with your levi’s and proclaim “Hello world! I’m just a denim sort of person?” Or do you wear something different? What about a wedding? Funeral? Holiday?

Are there times when we need to adjust who we are by wearing something different?

Dress codes in schools or work places? You know I hate them because I think they rip the individuality out of everyone and are maintained by an arbitrary board which actually has no rhyme or reason to it. But does a school or employer have the right to tell you what to wear? Or are you allowed to be true to yourself?

What about dress codes at events? A few years back we were invited to a 40th birthday party where we were told we had to wear white. I wore a white dress and hated it. I felt uncomfortable the whole night. In this instance, it was a party that I had to attend- there was no going around it. But what do you do in this instance? Do you not go to the party? Do you wear what you want and stand out? Or do you suck it up?

How far do we go in order to be ourselves?

So….do you have a look or style that defines you? Do you dress to suit the occasion or yourself?

 

Posted on by LA · 25 Comments

Resolution Style: The Update

As December turned to January, I made a pact to up my style game.  At the close of last year I felt that my wardrobe was just bleh, and bleh wardrobe morphed into bleh mindset.  So I began my journey to style.

First off- it is really hard to add style to your life, especially if you are a minimalist, understated sort of person. Where do you start? How do I add a little flair while still retaining my personality? And how do I do all this when I hate shopping? I even wrote a follow up blog detailing my difficulty in working towards this goal.

Enter Stitchfix- the monthly service that sends you clothes. This was great for me: I was able to add some great pieces to my wardrobe with little personal fuss.  I also tried things that I might not have tried otherwise.  This step alone added something- I went a little out of my comfort zone- just enough to add a little zip.

Then I really began playing with accessories.  As I normally start out with a neutral black palette, adding things really helps. I began playing with texture and shape and I daresay color. I started going a little bolder with my jewelry.  And it helped.  I felt better walking out of the door every day. Friends commented on my look and on my choices.  I knew I was on the right track.

Then a few weeks ago I wrote about my favorite black dress, and I described how I accessorized it different ways for different occasions.  My friend Cozy commented on how she like the styles I was able to create…and it was at that moment I realized that I had done it- I had worked my way towards creating a personal style that made me feel good about myself, made me feel unique, made me feel put together. Last year at this time I felt I was sort of hiding in my clothing.  I don’t feel like that anymore.

So yesterday when I met up with my daughter for lunch, she looked at my slightly above the knee grey dress, knee length down vest, knee high boots (I have a thing for knees apparently) grey cuff bracelet and silver pendent and she said “Look at you Mom. I like the look.  it’s totally you.”

And I smiled to myself. I wanted to switch up my wardrobe a little and I did it, but I’m still exactly who I am. Just a little more so.

 

Posted on by LA · 13 Comments

Sunday Wrap Up

I was not particularly organized this week- I think I’m suffering some sort of end of summeritis.  But here is what I did do this week.  All events take place in New York City unless otherwise stated.  Ratings are 0-5.  I have received no compensation for any of these things- though I often wonder if I should be reimbursed for time taken out of my life…..

Television

Food Network Star– I’ve been Team Jason and Team Corey from Day 1.  I do not know who is going to be crowned this evening- but I am going with Jason.  It’s been a fun, if predictable, season.  4.2

Sharknado 5– No- I didn’t watch Sharknado, or any of the franchise.  But Husband did have them on yesterday afternoon- I don’t know which one…..does it matter?  It’s sharks flying around- I believe 5 is subtitles “Global Swarming”……I think I have missed my calling, because who wouldn’t want to write for this franchise?  And….lest we forget….I heard a rumor that Fabio is doing a cameo as the Pope.  I may have to watch it just to see that……As I didn’t watch it- I can’t rate it…but wow-

Movies

The Nut Job 2:  Nutty by Nature- This is one of those situations where, having not seen the original, I was totally lost as to what was happening.  Not.  My daughter and I going to see this movie signifies that she is regressing due to increased stress levels, we were bored and hot, and this might be worst summer for movies ever.  It’s silly, and the message gets lost in stupidity- which is bad, because the message is to work hard and nothing comes easy, and working as a team helps to solve injustices.  I just wish the creators of the movie worked hard, and worked together, because the whole thing is disjointed. 2

Exhibits: Force of Nature at The Museum at FIT Fit is a fashion school.  There museum is amazing, and free.  If you like fashion (and I mean enjoy it, you don’t have to be fashionable- I love beautiful clothes, but I am least fashionable person in world) you need to check out this place.  The present exhibit is both odd and gorgeous.  Per the exhibit brochure, “Forces of Nature examines the complex relationship between fashion and the natural world”. Curating an exhibit about fashion always amazes and impresses me- to know that much about clothing is mind boggling.  Venue 4.5.  Exhibit 4.5

Food

Street Taco  You know when I say you’re never too old?  Well- I lied.  I am too old to go to places like this.  The music is ear shattering.  The food is average. But I truly believe that if I was in my twenties, I would love this place.  Attractive people, having fun, drinking what appeared to be refreshing cocktails.  But for me 3.

Rosa’s Pizza Middle Village Queens This was a great quintessential New York slice of pizza- the regular, the Grandma, and the Sicilian.  Great dough, cooked properly.  Good cheese to sauce ratio. 4.5

Shake Shack- I know- I’ve extolled the virtues of Shake Shack before- but they have a hot chicken sandwich now- hot as in spicy- as in I’m a chili head and love spicy food.  4.3

Ample Hills Creamery Ice Cream at Baked by Melissa- My daughter got an ice cream- so to be fair, I just had a taste- but this is seriously good ice cream.  Rich, and creamy and delicious.  If you ever see Ample Hills ice cream- try it.  4.

Housekeeping:

I forget to mention last week- my gym has still not properly fixed the air conditioning in the spin room.  It is not pleasant.  I might need to join twitter just to complain about the gym.

I did not finish reading a book this week!!!!  Horror!!!  That alone shows you how off I was!

I just realized that there is a SPAM folder for comments.  This confounds me because I discovered really well versed comments stuck in there.  It also confounds me because somehow, the person talking about their favorite game of thrones character, 16 times, did not make it into SPAM folder…..so I apologize for those of you who had taken the time to write comments that appeared to go unnoticed….

Speaking of comments- thank you to everyone who joined the conversations this week.  The best thing about the internet was on display this week- a bunch of people, from different backgrounds, sharing their opinions on subjects.  At the end of the day, communication really is the key to everything.