Give and Tell

When I walk the Manhattan Streets with my dog, I often get asked for directions, most commonly, how to get to the subway. I guess I have one of those friendly faces. Or they figure if I’m with a dog I probably live in the neighborhood.

Most often I tell them the way- two blocks west on 23rd…if you want to go downtown cross the street. Don’t forget to change trains at Union Square I say, and send them off on their merry way.

Occasionally, if someone seems totally perplexed, and if it’s not too out of my way, I walk them to where they should go, or give them a head start…

Which leads me to my next thought: Is it better to give directions, or is it better to lead someone someplace? Think of it as a variation on give a person a fish they eat that day, teach them how to fish they eat for a lifetime…

Do you ask for directions?


Do you ask to be led?

I know I am a directions person. And I like to get my hands dirty. I like to put into action what I’m trying to do. I need to experiment. I think it comes down to being visual. I don’t really like to listen to things other than music. Can’t do audio books…I miss half the story…

And I certainly don’t want people doing things for me.

I don’t want people telling me what to do…

I like to read a variety of sources. I like to ascertain the pros and the cons. Then I formulate an opinion. I give myself the berth to allow my opinion to change over time…

But I am definitely not following the Pied Piper around.

I don’t jump on a bandwagon because it’s popular or on trend. I don’t see the need to do something just because everyone else is doing it.

I like to be in charge of my thoughts and actions.

I know I am far from perfect. But I own my choices.

Yet I realize that there are people who want to be told what to do. People who want to be led.

I don’t really understand this point of view…

Why do people want to be led? Why do people want to follow?

And don’t tell me it’s because everyone can’t be leaders. That’s a cop out of an answer. You can create your own path without being a “leader”.


Your assignment today:

Give me the pros to my con…

The Socks

Last weekend I had date night with my Husband- dinner (awesome sandwich shop) movie (The Disaster Artist- I know-James Franco is on the shit list, but don’t throw every other person who worked on this movie under the bus- good movie) and shopping.  Shopping you say?  Yes.  We had time between dinner and movie so we ran to discount store cause my husband needed new gym socks.

Now, my blog friend Andrea recently wrote a blog posing the question, “Are products for men geared to be more simple” (well- to be fair she’s a brilliant writer and her hypothesis was worded much better, but you get the idea)  i commented to her- “No.  men just don’t like going through the hoopla of many choices etc.”  I know I’m generalizing, but I’m going to give you my real life example

My Husband actually had a specific idea of the gym socks he wanted.  Sort of.  He currently had gym socks that went about halfway up his calf.  He did not like these.  He wanted something else.


We approached the sock display.

me: What kind of socks do you want?

him: Ones not like the ones I have.

me: ( I held up a pair of quarter length socks) These?

him: How high do these go up?

me: They cover the ankle bone but that’s about it

him: Is that good?

me: Depends what you want.  This is length I get, because I like when my gym socks come over my sneakers.  It’s more comfortable for me

him: I don’t know

me: (I pick up a more ped like variety) These will be completely inside your shoe.  you will not see them

Him: (makes face)

me: (I hold up a pair that is between a ped and a quarter length) these will come up just slightly above the sneaker edge

him: (make face)  what do you think?

me: I don’t know what you want.  What’s the goal?

him: I don’t like the socks I have now.  They are too high.

me: Fine.  These are all shorter.  Which ones do you want?

him:  I don’t know.

me: (bang head against sock display)

You get the idea.  When faced with a plethora of sock choices my husband was at a standstill. It was his personal “Sophie’s Choice”.  To add more, once he’d decided on quarter length, we then had to choose brand, color and amount.  By the time we were on the checkout line I had a headache that only popcorn and a diet coke were going to cure.

When my Husband knew I was going to the drug store, he asked me to buy him a new toothbrush.  I asked him “What kind?”.  His response. ” Just choose one.”


  1. Do some people have trouble making a decision when faced with myriad choices?
  2. Are there too many options out there?
  3. How often do people really know what they want?
  4. Will my Husband actually like the socks he bought, (quarter length, black and grey, 10 pack, reebok) or will be back at discount store this weekend?