I play this silly app, Design Home (where I get to live out my fantasy of being Joanna Gaines for 20 minutes a day) and when I was voting the other day, I noticed an interesting screen name: “I’m too old to play this game”. Now, I’m not too old to play the game, but I thought about other things I am too old to do.
- Wear stilettos. Yes, I know I look hot in them, but really, standing in heels is not something I want to do
- Maintain my hair in it’s natural brunette state. Vanity has precluded me from going grey, so I have turned to the shade that has more fun. If you knew me, you would know that blonde is the last thing I ever thought I would be. And I’ve always been fun…
- Be petty. Of course, just because I’m too old for it doesn’t mean I’m never petty.
- Be mad at my parents for parenting mistakes, or things they did. It’s done. My life is my responsibility.
- Care what others think of me. Frankly, you are too old for this on the day you are born.
- Eat after 9pm. Seriously, there’s logic behind the early bird special.
- Leave the house without a list of everything I’m supposed to do, buy or see. And list should be in chronological order.
- Finish a book that I hate. I used to have this thing about finishing every book I started- it only succeeded in making me miserable.
- Argue with my husband about stupid things. It’s never worth it.
- Accept an invitation to something because I’m “supposed to”. Unless I can think of a valid reason as to why I am “supposed to”.
- Shop at Forever 21. I realize the name implies that I’ll always be 21, but I can’t fathom shopping at the same place my daughter does.
- Sit in the direct sun at the beach. Or sit on a blanket on the sand. I like an umbrella and a chair. Call me a Princess.
- Hold on to anger. It doesn’t mean I can’t get angry (you may have read a rant or three of mine) but it does mean I have to let it go.
- Hold on to sadness. Same rules apply.
- Pretend I am younger than I am- why bother? What’s wrong with the age you are?
- Obsess about my looks. When I say obsess, I mean constantly wondering why I don’t look the same as I did 20 years ago. The goal is to be healthy and take care of myself.
- Snapchat. Seriously- anyone over the age of 30 that says they know what snapchat is, is lying.
- Ski. I know I’m not too old for this, but I just don’t like skiing.
- Engage is discussions about politics or religion. No good can come from this. Everyone is entitles to their own opinion.
- Play tennis with my daughter and win. Two years ago, I was able to beat her. Winning is now a distant memory. She is faster, stronger, and I hate to admit this, smarter than me.
Don’t worry- there will soon be a list of things I am NOT too old for!