Back in October I wrote a post: https://wakinguponthewrongsideof50.com/2022/10/06/look-at-love/
At some point in the conversation, Leslie and I discussed lying on dating apps:
- Does everyone lie on a dating app?
- Is it OK to lie on a dating app?
- If it’s OK to lie on a dating app, are there parameters?
I have never used a dating app. I met my husband playing tennis. He was roommates with my doubles partner. There was no match or bumble or whatever, so I have no knowledge of how dating apps work…
It would appear that this is the way many people meet their partners. As I’ve never done it, I can’t really talk about the experience, though from what I’ve heard, I don’t know how much I would have liked it…But if people like it and it works, then have at it…
The biggest criticism I’ve heard about dating apps is the license that one takes when filling out their profile…
- Pictures that are old
- Overly generous of one’s height or under generous of one’s weight
- whether they are married or separated
- being vague about their age
- skirting around drinking, drugs or smoking
But the other side of the coin is that IF you tell the truth about certain things, will anyone swipe right…
Like, if you are a woman who is fifteen pounds overweight, is hovering around age 60, and likes a cocktail or three at night, how do you display yourself?
Do you write:
Overweight fan of Jack Daniels who was alive when Kennedy was president…
or do you say:
Full bodied woman who likes a full bodied drink and appreciates things that are aged well
Size 8 Gen Xer looking for someone who appreciates a glass of wine with dinner
Ignoring my ineptitude at writing these…
Which one gets a date? The flat-out honest one, the one that embellished, or the one that pretty much lied? Why?
In a world of five second attention spans and Instagram perfect lives, can we actually be honest on a dating app? Or do all profiles have a bit of bait and switch?
Just for fun, write yourself a dating app (to be clear this is a writing exercise, not an invitation to enter the world of online dating) and if you have a partner, write their dating app.
OK- how much truth stretching is there? Are you brutally honest? Did you represent yourself as you are?
Do you think anyone is messaging you based on the description?
If you were to include a picture, would you use one that was taken just as you got out of bed, or would you use the one at someone’s wedding where you were in spiffy clothes and you were looking relaxed and attractive? In short- would you use a photo of what you can look like instead of how you do look?
Is the world of online dating a big wall of deception?
Does it need to be a big wall of deception?