Highlights of the Week That Was April 11

Chocolate Cream Pie from Petee’s Pies

Gratitude Saturday- April 10

Our mattress was so old I believe cave people delivered it to us. So we finally sprung for a new mattress.

First off- we got a very plush pillowtop mattress that is just delightful.

Secondly, our sleep expert told us about this wonderful thing that we really had never heard about- an adjustable mattress base (free if you spend over a certain amount on a mattress)

Ok- first- I admit that my husband decided to upgrade the adjustable base to one that wasn’t free. Meaning, we got a base that not only raises the head of the bed, but it raises the feet as well, putting your knees at a 45 degree angle (or thereabouts)

Apparently there’s all sort of science about sleeping in this position, which we haven’t really looked into but it all sounds really impressive…

But anyway…

I love the adjustable base for when I want to read in bed

So I am grateful to my sleep expert…

I am grateful for my soft, comfy mattress

I am grateful for my adjustable base

I am grateful that the bed got here in four days and the set up people took our old mattress away (meaning we didn’t have to wrap it in plastic as per NYC law, which is a giant pain. (We had to throw out our daughters single bed a few years ago, and even a bed that small is a pain)

Grateful for good sleep!!

Anything Can Happen Friday: Vaccines, privacy, HIPAA and you

What did your family discuss at Easter dinner? Mine discussed whether or not vaccine passports and asking for negative test results violates HIPAA policy….

Good times…

Broadly, HIPAA states that patient’s medical records are not allowed to be shared without consent of the patient.


Any individual is allowed to share there medical history. If someone asks if you have been vaccinated you can share that information.

Do you have to share the information? No. But any venue has the right to refuse entry based on whatever their rules are. But is it legal to discriminate against someone because of their medical history? Or lack thereof…

For arguments sake: can you refuse entry to someone who is pregnant? Someone who has a disorder that requires medication? Does vaccination fall under the same umbrella?

Does a venue have the right to ask you about your medical history, or is that privileged information?

I really have no idea how scenarios like this will play out in court. I’m guessing it depends upon the judge and what evidence is put into play, which precedents…

But roughly speaking- what do you think about this?

Can someone demand proof of your medical records?

Pros and cons.


Guardians of the Children

Today you’re getting a real story from my life:

A few months ago my husband got a text from his sister. I don’t remember the exact wording but it was something along the lines of:

We’d like you and LA to be guardians of our children but I want them to live in a pet free home. Would getting rid of your pets be a problem?

Ok- so obviously there are multiple takeaways from this exchange (or lack of exchange if you will)

  1. Do you even have the inklings of a conversation about guardianship of children via text?
  2. Do you ask the guardians to change their lifestyle? ie give up pets or ask them to move to where the children are as opposed to the children moving to you?

The next thoughts are a bit more tricky.

  1. If someone asks you to be a guardian, do you have the right to say “No”?
  2. If the person asking is a sibling to part of a couple, does the non related partner have the right to say “No”?

Here’s my thing: We all know I’m not getting rid of my pets or moving, so we will start with that. But what if I don’t want to be the guardian to my sister in laws kids? What if I am totally done with being a parent? What if I just don’t want to do it? Do I have the right to say “No”?

Does saying no cause an irreparable shift in the dynamic of the relationship?

Does saying no make me a bad person?

Is it ethically wrong to say No?

Now, my perspective. I love my daughter. I spent a lot of time, effort and energy being a parent. I just don’t want to do it again. And let’s face it, the burden of the day to day parenting would fall on me. I don’t profess to be a saint who will Mother the world. I’m just a person who wants to get on to the rest of her childless life…

Am I selfish for thinking this?

So…give me any and all thoughts of guardianship, or anything I addressed here, or anything that is germane to the subject.

Culturally Appropriate

What is cultural appropriation?

the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas etc of one people or society by members of another and typically more dominant people or society

Oxford Languages

So we have the formal definition. But how do you define cultural appropriation?

What are examples of it?

In the everyday world, what actions do you think are appropriate and not appropriate, from a cultural standpoint?

Who decides that something is appropriate or inappropriate? What if one member of a group says it’s OK, but another says it’s not?

Can cultural appropriation ever be good?

I hear this term tossed around a lot, but I don’t think there is much rhyme or reason as to how it’s used. I thought I would toss it onto the table and ask what it really is.

Any and all thoughts on cultural appropriation please…

Don’t Build it so they won’t come

The Vessel

A few years ago, The Vessel was installed at Hudson Yards. The vessel is a structure with multiple sets of stairs that visitors are encouraged to climb. It is considered to be “interactive artwork”.


The Vessel opened on March 15, 2019.

Since it opened, three people have committed suicide by jumping off the structure.

As of late January 2021, The Vessel is closed to the public.

Was it irresponsible to build a piece of interactive artwork that people could possibly use to jump from?

The artwork is 150 feet high. While there are railings, there are no safety fences that would stop someone from climbing atop the railings and jumping.

Should we build a structure that has no safety features because gates and fences would be aesthetically displeasing?

What is the line between builder responsibility and user responsibility? When we create something, how much do we consider how it will be used?

Is art exempt from practicality because it is art?

Should The Vessel be permanently closed to the public?

To what lengths do we go to create a view?

I know. I know. So many questions.

I’ve climbed The Vessel twice, once with my Goddaughter and once with my family. It was quite fun to go inside the beehive like structure, go to different vantage points and take pictures of the Hudson, New Jersey and parts of Manhattan. It’s pretty to look at. This weekend we are going to a restaurant which prides itself on its views of The Vessel. I understand why it was created and built. But should more consideration be taken when building what is essentially an attraction?

So give me any and all thoughts on this subject.

Is this something you would like to visit on a trip to NYC? Or is this something that should never have been built?

I Read…Therefore…

A few months ago Never Not Reading Posted asked if reading makes us better. Simply, is reading more valuable than say, watching TV. I thought this was a pretty interesting avenue to drive down so I thought I’d give it a whirl.

Do we think that people who read a lot are smarter? Better educated? Erudite?

Or are people who spend their time doing other things just as smart?

I can argue that reading words off a page is active…you are pushing your brain more because you are deciphering the letters and words and sentences to make sense of what’s in front of you. To read means that you are paying attention to not only reading the words but understanding the meaning.

Do you engage your brain the same way by watching TV? By listening to a podcast?

How do you describe readers? What words would you use?

How do you describe non readers? What words would you use?

Prepandemic, I read about 5 books a month. During pandemic we all know that my reading was off the charts. I read because I enjoy reading, but it was also one of the few outlets that I had to keep engaged. With the warmer weather and more things opening in New York, I definitely can see that I’m reading less- I only finished one book last week…But with all my reading, did I become “better” or was I just less bored? If I had watched TV that whole time instead of reading, would that have changed the person I am now? Would I be better or worse or would nothing change?

Ok- what are your thoughts on readers versus the rest of the world?

Never Not Reading is on hiatus right now, but if she does return to blogging I will supply her information.

Highlights of the Week that Was: April 4

Gratitude Saturday April 3

As you know, my daughter has been attending college virtually, from her NYC bedroom. You may also know that I have not been thrilled with this arrangement.

Two weeks ago her University sent an email stating that life will resume back at campus in the fall. It may not be the same as before (classes containing over 150 people will continue to be done virtually for the time being), but for the most part, my daughter can attempt to get the college experience that she signed up for…

I am grateful that maybe things can get back to normal…

Here’s hoping that my Husband will soon return to the office

Anything Can Happen Friday- Start Again

In the past ten days, three of my blog friends have decided to pull the plug on their blogs. These are three bloggers who I have followed for years, and I have built a relationship with. I laughed with them, cried at their pain and cheered at their successes. I have noticed other blog friends taper off how much they post. As I didn’t read any blogs a few weeks ago, I’m guessing I’m in for some other surprise exits.

Conversely, I’ve gained a lot of new followers in the past few weeks: people with brand new blogs. Welcome, if you are of one of those newbies.

So I’ve begun to think that the vaccination has given to a sort of rebirth. People taking stock of their lives- throwing out the things that aren’t working, trying to see what things fit their new mentality. People are starting anew.

I know we do this every year at New Year’s- those “resolutions” that things will be better in the upcoming year. The things that people usually give up on when Valentine’s Day rolls around.

But will this shift in our mentalities be different this time?

Have we survived our darkest hours?

Do we actually realize that we can be “better”? And if not better, maybe just try to do things a little differently because we see the futility? We’ve watched death come knocking and realize that it’s time to live, because the opposite is right there in front of us?

Do we want to start over?

I know that Spring is the traditional time of rebirth- the flowers are beginning to bloom, the leaves are itching to make an appearance. It is nature’s way of saying- Hey- new things are on the horizon if you are willing to open your eyes and look…come join the party…

Are you actively trying to start fresh?

Have you added something new to your routine, or have you tossed aside something that you held onto for far too long?

Do you have a brand new attitude?

Is this truly a time of to start over?

What do you think?