What Have You Got There

We are going hypothetical today:

The scene: A fast food chain, 12:30 on a Monday afternoon, COVID era

The players: Three employees behind the counter, five people waiting for their food, two people on line waiting to order, one ordering

Person A is the next person on the food line waiting to order. There is one person behind Person A.

Person A is looking at their phone trying to recall what their family wants from this establishment

Person A feels a medium sized tug on their pocketbook which is cross shoulder on their body. The small bag is slightly open because Person A just took out their phone.

Person A jumps with a start because someone is close enough to have their hands on the personal belongings of A. This is covid time and their is a person standing within one foot of Person A even though there are clear designations as to where everyone should be standing and everyone else in the store is observing these protocols.

If you are Person A how do you react?


Hit the person?

Make a scene?

Call the police?

What would you do if you were on line in a store and someone tried to pick your pocket?

Real life- this happens to you- what do you do?

Ok- now let’s play with this scenario:

What if Person A was a person of color, and everyone else in the store was not? Are your reactions different than what you said before?

What if Person A was not a person of color, but everyone else in the store was? Do your reactions differ?

Does the gender of Person A and the pickpocket matter? They’re one of each? They’re both the same gender? Does gender affect your thoughts on this?

How about age? Say the pickpocket is a teen? Or, Person A is a teen? Does that change your reaction?

Now for the final talking point:

If this situation were to happen in real life, and someone was to film it, the only thing that would be recorded is the what happened after. Person A makes some sort of reaction, someone else films it. Do you take this possibility into consideration in the split second it takes to realize that you are being pickpocketed? Is your first thought- “Oh- everyone has phones and will record how I act?” or do you just protect yourself and your property?


If you are going to play the drinking game to my podcast from last night, the word is “interesting”.

I Take Care of Me

I recently saw a post on Instagram- the gist of it was:

“Find a man who takes care of himself (eg. books spa appointment), because a man who takes care of himself will take care of you.”

I have to admit I was a little flummoxed to be reading this. Is the way a person treats themselves an indicator of how they will treat you?

I think that people do have to be kind to themselves. I think people need to take care of personal grooming and health needs. I think they need to care for their personal space. I also think that people do need to practice self care. But I think everyone should be doing this to a certain degree. Every single person on this planet should accept personal responsibility for themselves. So, in turn, shouldn’t we all be actively looking for someone who takes care of themselves?

The problem is in the interpretation of what self care means. Self care to me means taking the time out to make sure all parts of me are nourished: food that sustains my body in a healthy way, books and conversation that stimulates my brain, showers and hair cuts and grooming that keeps my appearance in check, relationships that help me emotionally. Self care means taking the time out to be good to myself.

But are there variations of self care?

Can too much self care be a bad thing?

Can we assume that someone who takes care of themselves will take care of you?




Who knows.

I guess I want to know what people expect when they say they want someone to take care of them. What does that even mean?

I don’t know if I want my Husband to “take care of me.” I want him to respect me. I want him to listen to me. I want him to not lose his patience when it comes to my daughter or the pets or household inconveniences. I want him to not complain if I put wine in the tomato sauce because the tomato’s and the meat needed a little balance.

But do I want him to take care of me?

What expectations do we have when we try to find a mate? Are we looking for the person that best suits us, or the person who will take care of us?


My podcast now appears on PocketCasts, Google PodCasts, Breaker, and RadioPublic if you use any of those!

Draft Pick

How many drafts do you have in your WordPress folder?




More than that?

Do you know how many drafts I have in my WordPress draft folders?


My Waking folder has one draft with pictures I took on my ipad during the past week because I found it’s easier to import pictures if I add them into a fake post using gallery. At some point today I will delete it and then I will have zero drafts in that folder.

I am working on a post for someone else’s blog- I do have two working drafts of the same piece because I’m trying to figure out what opening works best and I’m still mulling this over, but I consider this to be the reason why there is a draft folder- because one is thinking of different ways to explore the exact same topic. I may do five more drafts, but it is the exact same story…I’m just presenting the idea differently. And these drafts have an expiration date…I know that in a week or so one of them is going to make it to the finish line as a post…

Those of you with draft folders- how many different ideas do you have in there? I could use the same numbering system, but you get the drift…But how many different ideas are you turning over in your head?

Do you ever intend to write the posts that accompany the drafts in your folder?

I know. I’m going back on a decluttering binge. I’m telling you to empty out the drawers of your WordPress site…

Clutter is clutter, whether it resides on your shelves or resides in your head.

Is having a bunch of drafts in your folder making you a better blogger? A better writer?

Or does seeing the number of drafts bring you down?

Is it just messing with your writing energy?

If you want to get all pop psychology…what is stopping you from writing those posts? Why are you hesitant to tell those stories?

A draft folder shouldn’t be a diary or a journal. If you have things that you need to get out on paper, by all means do it. Writing can be cathartic- it can be a great way of getting all your emotions out on a page in a healthy manner. And if that’s the reason that you have all those drafts, just move them someplace else…

I know. I’ve become the draft folder dictator. I’m telling you how you should keep your draft folder. Am I right to tell you how to live your life?

Of course not.

I’m just looking for more people to be like me, with few drafts in the folder. I often feel like I’m the only person with no drafts hanging out. I’d like more members of my club.

So for today’s assignment I want you to look at your draft folder- consider it spring cleaning now that March has arrived. Write the post if you love the idea. Delete it if you hate it. Move it if it’s important to you but know that it will never see the light of day.

Ask yourself why it’s sitting there…

And here is the next podcast- How excited are you?!

Highlights of the Week That Was

CityCakes located conveniently near the Vet

Worked on making fusilli this week
Betty sleeping on my lap
If the product says “ageless” make the print so that the people who need this product can read it…
I bought tickets to see this…in June. Do you know how good it felt to buy tickets for something in the near future. Something to look forward to!
This is for Q- we were talking about all the little aches and pains that come with aging…
Look who has a podcast….

Ok- so I decided to try the podcast feature that WordPress has added in cooperation with anchor. My thought is that I will post a blog in the morning and in the evening or thereabouts, I will record my blog and add in anything interesting that came up in the discussion. If you have any thoughts or ideas of things that you want to here me talk about, please chime in.

I’m presently on Spotify and Anchor if you are interested!
This is the song I was a little bit obsesses with this week

Gratitude Saturday

Late morning Tuesday I went to work on something on my computer. When I opened my laptop I could not find the cursor…

I am not the most tech savvy person in the world. I pretty much know how to turn on a computer and find the internet, so things like lost cursors haunt me. I researched it for a bit, tried the old reboot method and nothing.

So I got on my ipad and started a chat with ASUS…

I was on with the tech for about an hour- they had me trying everything. Go into this drive and that window and blah blah blah. They kept saying “Did you try F9?” They kept asking me to install a mouse which I kept insisting that I DID NOT HAVE…

The tech appeared stymied.

At some point I got disconnected from tech chat…

I just started randomly trying things…


The key that I needed to hit was F6…

F6 and F9 are not the same…

I am grateful that I realize that sometimes there is a correct answer…

and I’m grateful that I got my cursor back…

FYI- you can now find me on spotify…

My Month in Books- February

NYC had a lot of snow this month- 8th highest total ever for a February. Here’s what I read from January 27-February 24:

TitleAuthorHow I heard about bookRating
The House in the Cerulean SeaT.J. KluneI don’t know1
The Thursday Murder ClubRichard OsmanI don’t know2
Send For MeLauren FoxJenna (Today Show)3
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn HugoTaylor Jenkins ReidGoodreads Newsletter4
HamnetMaggie O’FarrellIRL book club (college alumnae)5
The Art of Stopping: How to be Still When You Have to Keep GoingDavid KundtzShannon Ables The Simply Luxurious Life6
The Four WindsKristin HannahJenna (Today Show)7
Tomorrow Will be BetterBetty Smithone of my besties8
The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family and Defiance during the BlitzErik LarsonI don’t know9
The SanitoriumSarah PearseReese’s Book Club10
Simple Organizing: 50 Ways to Clear ClutterMelissa Michaelsemail from Barnes & Noble11
Good NeighborsSarah LanganBarnes & Noble book club12
The Tea ChestHeidi ChiavaroliIRL book club (tea society)13
The Discomfort of EveningMarieke Lucas RijneveldIRL book club (college alumnae)14
This is the order that I liked the books. It does not mean that the top are the great American novel, a page turner or the feel good book of the century. It just means that some books made me feel more than others this particular month.
I am happy to say that I got BINGO this month! 25 books to get one line across! Next month there will be a new BINGO card!

Tick Tick

My daughter sprinted into the living room:

OMG! A and L made a tik tok that went viral

To answer the two questions that you may have:

  1. TikTok is “a massively popular app that lets users create and share videos up to 60 seconds long” informal definition according to dictionary.com
  2. A and L are the daughters of my brother in law’s (via my sister in law) cousin. We have met them on many occasions over the past twenty years

Now to the story:

The Grandfather of A&L left the girls a text. In it he extolled the virtues of the Grandson of one of his friends from the country club. He told the girls where the guy worked and what he did, who the family was, and what he looked like. He told the twins that as the guy lived in NYC one, or both of them should text him.

With me so far?

The twins then decided to text this guy while filming it for a TikTok. The video went something like this:

Hey- do you know that your Grandfather is pimping you out?

There was a little more to their words but this was the gist of the video, and I believe the line that made people laugh and cringe at the same time, thus ensuring its viralness…

We can think about this on a variety of levels:

  1. Should relatives be trying to set you up on dates if you haven’t explicitly asked?
  2. Were the twins right to call out their Grandfather like this, on a public forum?
  3. Was it fair to call out the guy on a video, seeing that he had absolutely no part in this and can’t control the actions of his relative?
  4. Is it OK because I’ve met the Grandfather and let’s say he could be a tad…pompous?

What do you think?

Would you be trying to get your Grandkids married off? Would you retaliate if someone tried to set you up?


I’m Ready for my Close up

I recently got new glasses-

When you pick up glasses from the optometrist, they always make you try them on to make sure they fit properly and that the lenses are where they are supposed to be. As I was testing them out, they had a magnifying mirror that I was supposed to look into.

Did you ever really look at your eyes and eye area close up?

I had bought a very inexpensive eye shadow to wear during COVID as I was not wearing make up every day. It seemed fine when I paid 2.99 for it…

Until I really really really looked at my eye area.

While I was supposed to be checking my glasses out to make sure I could, you know, see…

All I could concentrate on was the little glistening mica crystals that seemed to form right under my eye. It looked ridiculous zoomed in about 15x normal rate….I mean, was this how I was walking around the past nine months?


My undereye area looked like it had been caught in a glittery dust storm…my eye shadow managed to be everywhere but my eye lid and I hadn’t noticed…

While I realized that my eye shadow game was a clear disaster, I realized something else.

My mascara- amazing. Caught almost every lash.

But the crowning jewel was my eye liner. It was literally and figuratively on point. I mean, the line I drew across my lashline was perfect. Both eyes looked exactly the same liner wise… I didn’t know that eye liner perfection existed…

It was so good to figure out my make up game. I mean is there anything more important than perfecting eye liner?

Oh, BTW…

The glasses are fine too

What If You Get Sick?

I know the thought of getting sick has overcome up this past year…but do you keep supplies in your house just in case?

Last March, I knew we had a thermometer. I didn’t know it didn’t work anymore because none of us had been sick with fever in forever. We are a relatively healthy family, which is great, but can catch you unaware. But it made me think that maybe, just maybe, one should have some preparations in the house just in case you get sick.

What are the kinds of things that you should keep? I keep the following on hand (and I check the expiration dates regularly)

  1. pain reliever such as Tylenol or Advil
  2. generic nighttime and daytime catchall medicine (like Nyquil)
  3. stuff for diarrhea
  4. stuff for heartburn
  5. OTC cough syrup
  6. cough drops
  7. Benadryl
  8. saline nasal spray

I figure I’ve covered both ends with this list, but if others have things to add I’ll gladly listen.

But that’s the medicine front: what other things do you keep on hand if you get sick? Do you have a secret stash for “just in case”?

After COVID struck I began to think about what I would like to have in the house if I were to become unwell, and I came up with this list:

  1. extra box of tissues that is not for normal use- this is an emergency box
  2. honey
  3. hot water bottle (seriously- this makes everything feel better
  4. chamomile tea
  5. homemade soup in bags in the freezer
  6. saltines
  7. thermometer
  8. neck wrap that can be heated in the microwave
  9. eye mask that can be chilled or heated
  10. I try to always have lemons in the house, and a bag of mandarin oranges

Now it’s your turn: what are the things that you do/should keep in your house in the event that you got sick? Are there any special things that make you feel better? What are your not so secret secrets to making yourself feel a little bit better?

Crisp White

I hate the term “crisp white”.

Hate it.

As I’ve read a lot of books lately, I notice this phrase becoming more and more popular. It’s usually used to describe bed linens or shirts- It means starched or pressed to perfection. It means a true white: no shades of tan or grey or blue: just pale, bleached cotton.

When you are trying to describe something, it helps having a word or phrase that elicits all sorts of thoughts when you read them. Crisp white is one of those words: it can signal perfection, or a level of order. It can describe contrast. It’s a pretty nifty trick to be able to use a word like crisp to precede a very bland color, and be able to tell a story.

I should applaud phraseology like this: however I shun it.

I just don’t ever want to read the words “crisp white” ever again.

Do you think they could do trigger warnings for words?

Because these words give me anxiety…

Why do some words or phrases just drive us crazy?

Is it overuse? Or is it something else?

Do you have any words or phrases that make you go “ewwww”?

Which words or phrases would you like to get rid of?