I was eavesdropping the other day-

(I know we’ve talked about who a story belongs to, but I’m sorry- if you are at Starbucks and are talking loudly enough for half the place to hear you, your story is not your own. I’m betting most urban writers have lifted plotlines and characters from real life)

So I was eavesdropping:

Two women, my guess would be thirty something… Blue says to the Yellow:

You’re so lucky to have him.

Yellow, the recipient of these words, didn’t say anything, but just sort of looked at her friend. She didn’t smile or acknowledge or anything. She just looked at her blankly.

Is telling someone that they are lucky to have someone a COMPLIMENT?

If someone told you that you were lucky to have your partner, what does that really mean?

Does it mean that your partner is out of your league and therefore you should count your lucky stars every day that they lower themselves to be with you?

Does it mean that you don’t deserve to be in a relationship with this person?

Does it mean that the speaker of these words wishes they were you and this particular person wants to be with your partner?

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that they are lucky to have someone?

I don’t like this phrasing. I think it implies an imbalance in the relationship- it presumes that one person is better than the other.

Is one person in a relationship “better” than the other?

Wouldn’t it be better to say something like: You two balance one another out? It’s good to see how you two work together towards a common goal? Isn’t that the heart of a relationship: two people coordinating together to make a life?

Would it be better to say: You’re so lucky that your partner does X?

But even then, are you lucky that, say, your partner does 50% of the household duties, or is it not luck but communication and setting expectations?

Does luck have anything to do with an ongoing relationship?

Have you ever told anyone that they are lucky to have someone? What did you mean by it? How would you feel if someone told you that you were lucky to have your partner?


68 thoughts on “Anything Can Happen Friday: You’re so Lucky

  1. I’m with you…luck is not a good word to use. Relationships take hard work on both sides and both parties typically fail at that at times. I could see someone saying that you are lucky to have each other, but neither party is a ‘possession’ that the other is fortunate to own, just as neither party is fortunate to have the other party stay with them.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. 🤣 You crack me up . I’m just thinking of that “lucky” woman’s face. She’s thinking, uh, he’s the lucky one! But I doubt the friend really thought about what she was saying . She probably did mean that she wished she too had a good man .

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’d never thought about that statement till that moment, but seeing the woman’s face…and she was probably thinking “just because I don’t complain doesn’t mean he’s perfect”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If I’m complimenting a relationship, I typically say things like “you guys make a great team” and don’t think luck has much bearing. The only time I might reference luck if the couple met by chance, in which case I might say they’re lucky that their paths crossed and they met at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It sounds sort of condescending to use that phrase. I will say people often just blurt out a saying or phrase they’ve heard without really understanding the meaning or context. I wonder if they’re still friends or if Ms Lucky had moved on from Blue…and the guy maybe? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yeah, I’m with you, LA. Meeting someone might have a random “lucky” quality to it (or a turn of bad luck, ya know?) but being in a relationship and saying someone is *lucky* feels shallow and demeaning. I get that the context matters…especially if humor is involved, but as a simple declarative statement? I’d be peeved. Oh, what you hear at Starbucks! 😉😉😉

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You know what would be fun? If people from different areas talked about what they overheard in their local coffee shops…I mean the inane conversations, not the secret sharing ones…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I would totally play along with that…I started a little notebook of ‘nutty stuff’ that I’ve picked up while eavesdropping, like you, without intent. It’s like being an unintended voyeur! Now I know I’m not alone – I’m in your good company! 🤣🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

  6. A) There’s no such thing as luck – Change my mind! There’s skill, preparation, chance, fortune, grace, mercy, and a host of other things. Luck is a unicorn.

    B) It was totally public conversation! I sat on an airplane a couple of days ago next to another couple of blue & yellows. The conversation was stuff that usually gets shared behind the closed doors of a therapist’s office. I’m pretty sure at least a few rows up and a few rows back know WAY more than we bargained for about blue’s marriage, husband, kids, and dog. If you’re gonna talk that loud, you have a reason. You want to be heard.

    C) That is a terrible thing to say – on so many levels! I don’t see any good way to say it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree that was not a conversation for an airplane, BUT there is one good reason the person might have been talking loudly. If she is does not hear well, then she speaks loudly enough that it sounds normal to her. I doubt if that was the case, but it is a possibility.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Lucky to have him. Hmmm….does that mean that the lucky girl isn’t worthy of someone good (as I’m assuming he’s a catch – lol)? I don’t think luck has anything to do with relationships or having someone. I think if it were a meet cute situation, well, then that would be considered lucky. But otherwise, no, I don’t think it’s a nice thing to say.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been told that I was lucky to have my husband. A friend who was married to an incredibly nice man who was a cardiologist said that when the four of us were at dinner. I thought it was an odd statement. Within a year, she was on a ski vacation and took off with the ski instructor. Yes, this is a plot I’m borrowing for my manuscript.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I like your version better. I get “You two balance one another out.” I don’t understand you’re lucky to have him/her. You’re so right, what does it mean. When I’ve heard that, I think it comes across as a slap in the face. What do you really think about me? Ha, ha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In the fiction I jotted down, my interpretation was that the speaker was having an affair with the husband, the wife knew, and her thought was really…you want him because you’re only seeing one said of the story. But that was my imagination…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. My husband tells me he is lucky to have me. I agree, he is lucky because he’d be lost without me to organize his life. It is interesting to think about though. You are totally right that a successful relationship is definitely work, not luck and I usually think that the person saying something like that is wishing they had a successful relationship. I agree with LG Higgins that things may not be as wonderful as they seem.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I don’t like this phrase, either, and I don’t think anyone should tell another person they’re “lucky to have fill-in-the-blank,” especially if they’ve already expressed some type of discontentment with fill-in-the-blank person or thing. I honestly think it’s rude and dismissive.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’ve learned that very little in life has to do with luck. One of my sisters once told me “You’re lucky. You have a nice home, a good job, and a nice husband.” My initial thought was that her comment discounted how hard I had worked to have that nice home and good job. As for the husband, I suppose luck might have had a little to do with how I met him and compared to some of the losers I could have married, maybe I am lucky to have him…but he’s also lucky to have me. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Maybe it’s too simplistic, but I would interpret Blue’s comment as a compliment…as in he’s such a good/nice guy…..and yellow’s blank stare…..as if you only knew what he’s really like!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Maybe it is a kind of backhanded compliment said by someone who is in a bad relationship to a friend in a good one. Maybe it just means she made a good choice of a mate. Could also mean that this other person sees her mate as a good supportive person helping her through some kind of a crisis. Telling someone she is lucky could mean a pretty wide variety of things.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I consider myself pretty lucky that you actually read what I write and take the time to comment. Luck or design? I guess there is some kind of a line there. But how do you, or can you even define the word luck. When would it kick in.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Luck is an assistant picking up your manuscript to take home to read that night. But if it’s not good, it’s still not getting published. Luck is randomly sitting down next to someone who ends up being your best friend, but you had to put in the work for that person to become your best friend. Luck is getting a raffle ticket that ends up winning, but you need to buy a raffle ticket…something might spark by luck, but it’s cause by an action. My daughter is a reader…I’m not lucky that my daughters a reader (as some will say) I took her to the library, modeled reading, and showed the importance.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yeah. Speak to that last part. Are you lucky to have such a daughter. Was it luck that got you to bring her to the library in the first place, probably not, but is luck involved that she took an interest in books or that she was born with that, or was it lucky for her that you instilled that love in her. It is a funny thing.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. When I look at a hot celebrity couple’s photograph then I think they are so lucky to have each other. Does it question my single life compared to them? May be. But comparisons are never good. And I thought so about a celebrity couple because I admire them individually as well as together.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I am thinking more about the woman’s blank expression …. Was she thinking he puts on a good show, you don’t really know him??
    Its funny, for I never really thought about that phrase before, but you bring up good points about it.
    I have been told I am lucky and I say, “I know”. I don’t mean it in a smug way, and luck really doesn’t have anything to do with it. I just have had several friends in real bad relationships so I do feel blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. My take is a little different. I think it’s more a reflection on the state of the person’s relationship who said that than any implied imbalance on the couple in question. They may be projecting their own lack of luck in love/chemistry/whatever.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. What Mark said! Additionally, I wonder if Blue sees herself as the prize, and isn’t used to considering herself fortunate in her relationship (or that there is more to the situation which Yellow isn’t aware of and so Yellow’s comment jarred).

    I think it’s just a turn of phrase and isn’t meant to be taken literally. It’s just another word for blessed, or fortunate, or having something that other people don’t have and would want – it’s no reflection on your own worth or the work you put into a relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t like people using the word luck unless it’s picking the correct letter at Wordle when it could be five options, or heads or tails


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