Every evening I write down ten things that defined my day. I try to capture the good and the bad, things that I am grateful for, things that I am looking forward to, and what I do that day just for me, I really just write the little details that made that day different from others. I enjoy it and it works for me. Here’s some things pulled from various days over the past week:

1. Betty had her vet check-up and everything is aok. Though she knows when we are going to the vet, as opposed to taking a walk. When I got her harness out she ran and hid. She didn’t want to walk down the block where the vet is. Amazing for a dog who only goes to the vet once a year…
2. I forgot to bring my journal with me when I went to DC. I don’t like writing my ten things in an email and mailing them to myself
3. Felt every one of the 29,000 steps I walked
4. Every time I go to DC I end up getting bit by a bug. And every time I go to DC I need to buy Benadryl
5. Finally met the parents of one of my daughters roommates. Such nice people! And they play pickleball. Wish they lived closer.
6. Pop culture room at American History museum is clearly one of my favorite museum rooms
7. You People is an interesting movie that I think everyone should see
8. Great thought provoking blog conversations this week
9. My toes on my left foot hurt- but I don’t know why and I’m going to obsess about it
10. The Ted Lasso trailer made me weepy

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Beverly Sills

Last weekend, we attended the last parent’s weekend of my daughters college experience. (shout out to K who pet sat for me!!) I was going to supersize Sunday, but really, I am in the middle of a good story line for my work in progress, and I don’t have the bandwidth to think of a topic for my in the moment post for this week.

This was one of those bittersweet moments of life: so thrilled that my daughter had an amazing time at college, but a little sad that it’s coming to a close in less than 100 days. That’s right: less than 100 days to graduation…

A few months ago I wrote about how we gain our perspective about things: how we form the opinions that we do. https://wakinguponthewrongsideof50.com/2022/09/26/perspective/.

Somewhere in the comments, someone mentioned conditioning. So let’s look at that for a moment.

Per Oxford Languages:

Conditioning: the process of training or accustoming a person or animal to behave in a certain way or to accept certain circumstances.

But what do we really mean when we say/use/see this word?

Is conditioning bad or good? Why?

What are things that we are conditioned to do/think/feel?

Is conditioning the same as training?

For write my blog Thursday, tell me anything you want to about conditioning.

You may begin:

A few months back, my Husband and I were going to my Sister in Laws house for a holiday.

In some families, this is a non event. In my Husband’s family…not so much…

She asked us to bring flowers for the centerpieces.

Again, for some families this is easy. But nothing is ever easy with my SIL. For example, about twenty odd years ago, we were going to dinner at her apartment. It was going to be her and her fiancé, my husband and I. Just the four of us. She asked us to bring cookies. It happened to be girl scout cookie time and I had bought some from a co-workers daughter. So I brought two boxes of girl scout cookies.

Do you know what my SIL said?

“When you go to someone’s house you don’t bring Girl Scout cookies. You bring a white box with red string from a bakery…”

So bringing flowers…I’m on high alert.

I text my SIL. “Can you take a picture of the vases you’ll be using so I’ll know how many flowers to buy?”

Her response: “I don’t have time to do that. Just buy 40$ worth of flowers.” (please don’t get me started on how busy some people are…)

Now, for a second, just imagine my face on the other side of the text…

Of course, this was a Sunday, and one of the COVID casualties was florists. Many of the local florists went out of business. My option was supermarket flowers.

Now, for me in my house, I always get supermarket flowers. They’re pretty.

But, supermarket flowers don’t come in a white box with red string from a bakery, if you get my drift…

I’m one part freaking out and one part pissed off and one part wondering how I married into this batshit crazy family…

So I go to the market and I buy 40$ worth of flowers, which was harder than you think it would be, because I was not the only person trying to source flowers for the holiday…

We bring them to her house, and she used the smallest vases imaginable, so that really, 20$ worth of flowers would have been enough…in fact…I could have bought six tulips from Trader Joes and it would have worked…

And I really wanted to take some of the flowers back…

But there you go. Just a day in my life with my in laws. Moral of the story: be wary of your future in laws. They matter more than you think they will…

Let’s have some fun. Remember yesterday’s blog- how open should you be on someone’s blog? Many people said you should only tell your story, not anyone else’s.

So, in context of yesterday’s post- was this an over share? TMI? Did I tell someone else’s story or my own? Is this cringeworthy? Would my SIL be embarrassed about this?

If you behave in a certain way, if you say something to someone…is the story “out there”?

Discuss

I write about a lot of personal stuff on my blog. If I have angst, you’ll probably hear about it? Parental issues? Parenting? Marriage? Relationships? Yup- all fair game on my blog. In fact, back in the early days of my blog I heard my daughter say to my husband:

We better dial down the stupid, or Mom will write about it…

I know there are other bloggers like this, bloggers that open up their personal lives to the blogging community. The ones that share the really hard stuff, they are my hero’s. They let others know that they are not alone in the fight that we refer to as life.

However…

Is there such a thing as being too open?

Are there things that should not be discussed in a forum such as ours?

Have you ever read a blog and cringed, and inwardly wished that someone hadn’t let those thoughts into the open air?

Are there things that you don’t/won’t talk about on your blog?

Is it possible to be too open?

Discuss:

Have I waxed poetic about restorative yoga yet?

I like the definition I found at http://www.verywellfit.com:

A restful practice that holds yoga poses (asanas) for a longer duration using props like yoga blocks, blankets and bolsters. It is a practice of deep relaxation that emphasizes the meditative aspects of yoga- the union of body and mind. Through the use of props for support, many of the postures are held almost effortlessly.

My definition: this is a gentle hug for the soul.

I can’t go as often as I’d like, both cost and time, but if I can make it once a month I am thrilled. The class I go to is gentle- the lights are dim, the room is well suited to make even my anxious body chill for a bit. The teacher I go to has a voice that comes out like slow dripping honey- it’s understated and just sort of seeps into your mind and body.

In a 75 minute class, we probably only do about seven poses, but they are all gentle and easy- there is nothing to jar your body. You can use as many props as you want to get to your comfort level- this is not a class for competition: this is a class for contemplation. I find my mind really does go blank as I drift in and out of poses, quietly melodic music as the backdrop. The goal is to go slowly and deal with whatever is stressing you out- physical, mental or emotional. We set intentions of how we want to feel…

My favorite is the last post, which is really flat on our backs with support wherever we feel we need it. He instructs us to relax our body starting at the toes and working slowly up. I’m not kidding, but I feel the parts of my body that I’m relaxing actually feeling warmer. It’s an amazing feeling.

I am always pleasantly dopey after a class, but I find the benefits to last me for at least a week. My resting heart rate drops for days after the class, and I find that I sleep much better: an easy, restful slumber.

If you have the ability to try a restorative yoga class, I say give it a whirl. It just might make you feel better.

Every evening I write down ten things that defined my day. I try to capture the good and the bad, things that I am grateful for, things that I am looking forward to, and what I do that day just for me, I really just write the little details that made that day different from others. I enjoy it and it works for me. Here’s some things pulled from various days over the past week:

1. Saw someone get arrested at Target- apparently at self check out they only paid for one thing but had like ten things in their bag
2. A man clearly older than me got up to give me his seat on the bus. I didn’t know whether I should be flattered because he thought I was attractive enough to be chivalrous, or he thought I was older than him…
3. Lady Eve is a pretty brilliant movie on many levels
4. Got strangely addicted to tv show Physical 100 on Netflix- though the dubbed voices are the worst
5. -11 with the wind chill when I walked six minutes to gym- normally takes me eight so I’m pretty sure wind blew me there
6. It’s funny how people think money buys taste and class- when really, having money highlights those who have it but who are lacking in intellect, taste and a sense of refinement
7. The Frank Lloyd Wright room at the Met impresses me every time I am there
8. New glaucoma test at eye doctor much less invasive than past tests- and thrilled all ok with my eyes- and no prescription change
9. Glad I have idea for 2nd major turning point- now just need to get ideas to get to that point
10. Physical 100 in Netflix stupidly addictive

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. Jane Goodall

A few months ago, I looked at the products in my medicine cabinet, and I thought…

Do I need all these creams and masques and serums?

I know that I don’t have as many products as some, but I probably have more than others, so I decided to take stock and try to use less products.

I kept the soap and the moisturizers, but I stopped using the serums and the masques and the majority of the potions that take up two shelves in my medicine chest.

Do you know what I found?

My pores got clogged. Seriously- I developed small white clogged pores known as milia (no- milia isn’t just for infants…) around my nose and mouth…basically milia are clogged pores…I’d never had them before because I used scrubs and exfoliants that didn’t allow them to form. I used serums that reduced my pores from getting clogged…

My skin got itchy. My skin had lost some of its moisture and patchy and dry in spots. The things that I used cleaned my skin so that the moisturizers were able to absorb into the skin.

My skin looked ashier than it had before- it lost its glow so to speak…and became dull. See the two things above for why products help…

And just like that…I had become a true believer in products…I knew that there really was something to the unguents that sat on the bathroom shelf…

Some will say that it’s all in the mind- I think that these things work, so I’m looking at myself for something specific, and when I stopped using the products, I was hyper aware of my skin. And there is a point to be made for that line of thinking…

However, just the other day I was with a long time friend. As we sat across from one another across the table, I took off my glasses. My friend remarked- What do you use around your eyes because they look great- you have no lines…

Not only did I not have lines, I felt good. On the coldest day of the year my skin didn’t feel dry or tight or itchy- it felt supple. I didn’t have little white bumps that form on my nose where my glasses rest. I felt good. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Feeling good?

I will continue to buy some products- not a cosmetic store amount, but just some basics that can aide my skin and help it to behave like I want it to. And I’ll no longer question the five or six tubes that line the medicine counter shelves. I’ll just use them and feel good about my skin. Because in the end you have to do what feels right to you.