Let’s think about the differences between DWELL and AVOID. For this exercise we will look at the definitons provided by Merriam-Webster.
: to keep the attention directed —used with on or upon
tried not to dwell on my fears
: to speak or write insistently —used with on or upon
reporters dwelling on the recent scandal
: to keep away from : SHUN
They have been avoiding me.
: to prevent the occurrence or effectiveness of
avoid further delays
: to refrain from
Have you ever dwelled on something? My Mom is a classic dweller. She can take a topic and beat it to death. She still has things from forty years ago that she manages to bring up in conversation on a regular basis. I have learned to avoid certain words and phrases when dealing with her because I know she’ll just get lost in the dwell.
What are some common themes that people dwell upon?
Do you dwell on the regular?
Now let’s look at avoid. My Husband is a classic avoider. If you don’t say something, it won’t happen (sort of the opposite of Field of Dreams if you build it…). He will talk and walk around pretty much any subject he doesn’t feel like dealing with. I have to figure out ways to get him to talk about harsh realities and sometimes the not so harsh ones.
What are subjects/situations that people tend to avoid?
Do you veer towards avoidance?
Neither avoiding nor dwelling is good in the long run. Both choices tend to stop us from getting on with our lives- they cement us in a spot and stop growth and change and being able to get to the next step.
But how do we avoid being a dweller or an avoider? What are the steps we can take to stop us from going down either of these paths?
Is there anything good about dwelling or avoiding? Are there circumstances where these are the best courses of action?