Say you’re in a bad mood. You had a lousy day. Your commute was horrible. Your boss scolded you about something. You got into a fight with partner/child/parent. You cat threw up on your freshly washed sheets. The lens of your glasses felt out. Whatever. Assume your day was just an epic fail from the minute you woke up, and you really regret getting out of bed.

Is it ok to:

  1. Eat for comfort?
  2. Drink for comfort?
  3. Do drugs for comfort?

When does this go from being a nice way to treat yourself for a lousy day, to becoming dependent on something to ease you out of a bad mood?

Is there ever a good time to seek solace in a chocolate chip cookie, a chocolate chip cookie plus, or a glass of pinot?

What’s the difference between being comforted by something and using it as a cure-all?

I freely admit that if I’ve had a tough day, I love a bowl of egg noodles with butter and parmesan cheese. It just makes me feel better. FYI- I use this same meal if I have a cold. It just works. Admittedly, I probably only rely on this meal for comfort about once every few month, but if my husband is away I will occasionally make it just because I love it so much- then it’s just dinner.

Food, drugs and/or alcohol: Should we rely on them when we are having an emotionally bad day? Pros and cons?

Discuss:

89 thoughts on “Comfort Food”

  1. I think most of us have our feel good things, but… I just ran across an article talking about exercise and this very thing. People who walk or run or other forms to zen out or call it comfort if you will come to depend on that yet never learn how to take real steps to understand or really deal with the issues. Basically they are masking whatever is wrong rather than dealing with it. I think that’s plausible and if you use any comfort item on a really regular basis then perhaps you need to look at why.

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      1. I wonder what the percentage of humans is that really want to deal with things? I think we may be a cover up and hide sort of society, or a huge over-reaction society rather than a logically lets talk this out sort of group

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      2. Yes. I think you hit on a solid point. However, the addiction crisis is epic right now. I see people who just vape all day. You’re telling me you can’t cope with walking?! There’s a point we have to say I’m having a bad day and I need to deal with it without shopping or exercising or eating or drink or drugs.

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  2. I had “one of those days” last week. I manged to drop a pan on my toe, then kicked a dog bone (same toe) then turned all my nicely folded shirts into a heap on the floor; I felt the bed calling. But no, I endeavor to persevere. On this particular day, after I managed to not kill myself (by accident), I guess I took comfort infront of the TV. I lost myself in some series, or maybe it was a movie.

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  3. Uncanny that you and I wrote about the same thing today – even the same title. I’m a little amused and also a bit weirded out. But yeah, I think “creature comforts” have their place in our lives. It is important that we pay attention to the “why” behind the what. If we are over-using anything (food, substances, sex, relationships), there’s likely a core issue that might be traced back to our formative years or some unresolved trauma. So these things can be informative, helping us become more integrated, or they can become debilitating habits. Self-awareness is important. And sometimes, we need to ask for help to overcome these things.

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    1. Excellent points. It’s spooky because I wrote two days in advance and schedule…so we are in some psychic connection! I haven’t read anything posted after like 7am nyc time…so ghopefully will catch up soon

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      1. Yeah, I wrote mine “on the fly” this morning before doing any reading – which is my typical way of writing. It is pretty spooky, but kinda cool too!

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  5. Everything in moderation. A bit of comfort food when you’re homesick or just plain down is OK but not every day! Turning to alcohol and drugs is never a good idea. In fact, the only time I have a drink is to celebrate, not to drown my sorrows. Everyone deals with issues in their own way but I agree, we need to try to resolve these things if they get out of control. Now pass me some perogies.

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      7. Depends how we define life threatening. I tend to be able to open a bottle of wine and throw half of it down the sink as it doesn’t get drunk. I’ve never tried or been interested in drugs or cigarettes.
        I would male myself ill if I eat too much sugar so my body tends to regulate my consumption and forces me to deal with whatever my triggers are.

        I think people need to be open to causes of stress but the reality is sometimes, maybe regularly, people don’t recognise or acknowledge they’re struggling, they think they’re in control. It can take either a disaster/situation that triggers acknowledgement or someone else (a close friend or family member) that forces confrontation with the problem.

        I’m not an expert, but that’s my thinking

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      8. With drinking or drug use it would the point of dependency, and you are unable to take care of yourself. Gambling or shopping where you have bookies chasing you down for owed money or you declare bankruptcy or your house is foreclosed (this can also happen with drugs/alcohol) food where you can’t walk, or need to have amputations or are bed bound. Anything where your livelihood, home and family are threatened by what you do

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  7. For me, a glass or two of wine every Wednesday is comforting regardless of whether I’ve had a good day or a bad one. I feel it’s only when you start using comforting things like that as a crutch that they become problematic.

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  10. I love too go to my comfort food. It becomes a problem if you experience health concerns, then perhaps you should deal with the root of the problem. Drugs and alcohol now that makes me cringe, seen to many people abuse it.

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    1. But for example, the movie out now, The Whale. It’s about a guy who experiences emotional trauma and uses food to comfort himself and becomes morbidly obese where it becomes life threatening. While this is fiction, there are cases as such. Where is the point between doing something to get through, and then having that thing become a threat to your life

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  13. We all know that these things can become crutches–with different crutches for different people. LA, you keep pushing for the bottom lines–how does someone recognize that something they enjoy is becoming a dependency and how does one stop it from happening? No one has really given a definitive answer to those questions. I personally feel drugs are something I would never take recreationally. The physical addiction can be too strong to overcome so it is better not to even start. My passion for chocolate is long standing, but I had about 15 years when because of health issues, I couldn’t eat it and I didn’t. It was not worth the consequences. Now I can eat chocolate again, but I find I can limit myself. Yes, chocolate is comforting to me, but it is an emotional comfort and not a physical addiction. I have no easy answers to the questions either, but they are good ones and the answer is personal to each individual.

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      2. I really think as a society we don’t think enough about the things that matter, that affect peoples lives, that make us who we are. I figure if I help one person see something, I’ve helped exponentially

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  14. Food is my main drug, I can’t give it up or pretend it’s not there for me. I like the process of buying and making food as a nice prelude. Another substance I abuse is tea, tea drinking is a spiritual practice for me, like yoga or meditation. These are my top priorities in life, come rain or shine.

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      1. I guess, when we try to replace an emotional void with food, is when we become careless. Until someone tells you that this is your fifth or tenth time in a day, you are sort of in a food or drink coma.

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  16. Oh chocolate every time.
    The last time I quit smoking though I turned to chocolate and sweets too and put on about 2 stone.
    I’ve just had surgery and I’ve quit again so now I’m trying to balance that with not putting my hand in the sweetie jar even though I need comfort after surgery, it’s very tough 😂

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  17. Ironically, my next book is about a specific type of addiction, so I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while. To answer your question, there is a difference between consoling one’s self every now and then, as opposed to using fill in the blank thing all the time because you can’t deal with life.

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      2. How many people can foretell this? I know someone mentioned dry January, and I know I’ve seen so much social media about how they’re having trouble getting through it. Doesn’t that make one stop and pause?

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      3. I don’t think anyone can foretell it. However, I do think struggling to get through 30 days without alcohol is a sign, right? I also am of the opinion that we should note people’s behavior and mention it to them. But I’ve found that this is a very unpopular opinion. A lot of people think you should keep your comments about other people and what they do to yourself, even if it’s to their own detriment.

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      4. Should you tell someone is like the great unanswered question of our time. Do we let people to their own devices or do we say something? Are the risks worth the rewards? If I was on the downswing I would hope someone mentioned it…I think….but does everyone feel that way? I don’t know. My fil says his gambling is a hobby. Meanwhile he’s got five dollars in the bank, has declared bankruptcy twice, and had his house foreclosed on. Hobby or problem?

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      5. See what I’m saying lol I started following the model of saying something to the person once and then going from there. If they’re like, leave me alone, I got it, then I’ll do that. but the way I see it at least I said something. I wholeheartedly believe we are all connected, and we are all responsible for one another, but again, I’ve learned that not all of us believe that sentiment.

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      6. I’m never sure what to say in these situations. My best friend from high school went off the rails with drugs and alcohol, and probably had some mental illness thrown in. I told her she needed help, she didn’t listen, so I cut her out. Her drama was affecting my mental health. Of course she died about eight years ago, and part of me wishes I’d pushed harder, but if someone can’t meet you halfway, what do you do?

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      9. Here’s a counter example. My grandmother likes to gamble, so she has money set aside from her very limited budget that she uses to go gamble once a month. When that money is gone, she goes home. See the difference there?

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  18. I think food could be worse as its not something we can give up or we’d starve to death. I also think this whole area is a minefield and I would imagine there will be some psychological reasons why we might react differently from each other. Some people have an unhealthy relationship with food.

    I’m not sure its possible to have a definitive answer to your question

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  19. As I’m just wrapping up Dry January, I’ve had to break the habit of having a drink at the end of a bad day. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard. Now if only I could do the same with my candy habit! LOL Seriously though, I think these things are all okay in moderation, but if it becomes a habit, there could be a problem.

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  20. I don’t eat or drink for comfort (although I enjoy both food and alcohol in moderation). I really hate when you see people on TV or in movies reach for a bottle when they are stressed. It’s a cheap way to convey the character’s mood and, IMHO, sends the wrong message to the audience: “this is how you deal with stress.”

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  21. Cons: When the things of comfort begin doing more harm than good. When the things of comfort become more important than everyone or anything else. When the things of comfort become the only reasons you think you can be happy.

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  22. It’s possible to do everything to excess, and the problem level varies from person to person. One of my problems is that I eat when I’m depressed. As I’m depressed about being fat, you can see the obvious problem with that.

    Would I be better using heroin to relax, which would make me thin and therefore less prone to depression?

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