I recently read Did I Say That Out Loud? Midlife Indignities and How to Survive Them by Kristin Van OgTrop. In it she states that a thoughtful man said we all needed to ask ourselves the following questions:

  1. Who am I?
  2. Where am I going?
  3. Why am I going there?

So I pose the questions to you. Can you answer them?

Think of this as a check in for New Year’s resolutions.

  1. Someone who needs to lose weight
  2. To start on a path of healthier eating and moderate exercise
  3. Because my cholesterol is high and I need to adjust my lifestyle

or

  1. Someone who hates their job
  2. To a job search link
  3. Because I deserve to find a job that doesn’t crush my soul

Now these might be a bit literal, but you get the idea: These questions allow you to quickly take stock of what’s important to you, and what isn’t, and what you can do to get to a place that you want to be.

So on this fine Monday halfway through the first month of the year, take stock. Ask yourself those three questions and look at your answers. What is one small step that can get you closer to where you want to be.

How would you answer those three questions?

47 thoughts on “Three Questions”

  1. I’m so glad you gave examples, LA, because if I had to answer those three questions about life overall, I don’t think I could do it. But what an interesting trio to consider to help be intentional about the things we are doing or want to do. Great food for thought.

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  2. Great idea for a discussion. In my much earlier hippie days I would often ask the who am I question. Not really sure I ever got an answer though. I guess, and this may be a cop out, as you grow and age, your YOU changes. Responsibility, priorities, and outlook on life all are not the same at 45 as they are at 25. So, face life, make decisions based on what is the right thing to do and learn to adjust and live with consequences or benefits of your actions.
    The only resolution I ever make in not to make any resolutions.
    By the way, your title? You’re not on the wrong side of 50. They are.

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  3. I think JC home hit it when he says priorities and outlook on life change as you wake up on the right side of 50. To think you can control all things as we age including your innate tendencies and also the effect of changes in society, etc. and to think as if you did at 25…whew, I feel like a need for a good fiction going up. Let me check my reading list.

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  5. Interesting questions, LA. Now that I’m on “the downward slide” of life, these are questions that are more relevant to those a bit younger, although the higher-level questions of where am I going and why am I going there are always relevant. But as someone who’s gone through so many previous phases of life I would support the suggestion of asking yourself those more specific questions every 5-10 years. Nice post. (And bravo for calling today a nice Monday halfway through the month! 😏)

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  6. Regardless of one’s age I think you need to ask yourself these questions. The answers may well be totally different to those forty years ago but I like to think that I will still be aiming towards something as I slide into my twilight years. Otherwise we’ll all be content spending our days sitting in front of the tele in a recliner. No thank you!

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  7. I’m reading a series of light novels that take place where we summered when I was a kid, the San Juan Islands. One of the characters suggested to list your values. Then evaluate your decisions to see if you’re in alignment with what you value most. This exercise reminds me of that.

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  8. It’s a good question to ask in mid life. In old age, I’m not sure. I’m a writer, and I’m going towards death because it’s coming towards me. Seems a depressive answer, but it’s more like, what tune will I play as the ship goes down? I don’t know if other old people would identify… but thanks for making me think about it

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  9. Who am I? Well, that’s something I’m still trying to figure out, which I’d never expect to be the case in my 50’s; however, the end of a long-term marriage really does put you there.

    Where am I going? To uncharted territory.

    Why am I going there? Don’t have much of a choice.

    Not very deep, but it’s where I’m at.

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  10. These really are the perfect questions for a New Year. And questions to ask throughout the year to keep us on track. I know one answer would be to eat more healthy and its because I love my family and want to do all I can to be around for awhile. There is a lot we have no control of but we can control what we eat, but its hard! And you did say to never say no to pizza. 😉 LOL!

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  11. This is probably the first new year in my life where I didn’t ask myself questions similar to those. Then again, my world is different from most of your fellow bloggers and readers. I know who I am. Or at least who I’ve been. Who I am now is bit of a shadow of that person in many ways, while also being a woman of greater capacity.

    When you live with a reoccurring health situation your life questions differ. They become, how long will I be strong enough to handle the brutality of treatment? I don’t ask where am I going, because I know that answer. And I’m not ready to die yet. So it’s a waste of time to ponder that. Although, my oncologist has from day one told me he will come up with treatments until they cease to work and then he will make me as comfortable as possible. I used to awaken in cold sweats with visions from old Vincent price movies of being trapped in a crypt. So I avoid those thoughts… I know eventually cancer will take me. My resolution is just this… I’m NOT dying today! So I better enjoy it to the max!
    Right now my resolution is to survive another year . To take in as many sights and sounds as my health allows. To get as many hugs from those I love as possible, and to enjoy the world around me when I am able to. I focus on good moments and good people. We really should do that rather than always trying to change ourselves. Stop and smell the roses whenever possible. Open your windows if you want to. Just try to enjoy whatever you can. Whatever works.

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    1. Lesley, you make very good points – as ever. Reading all your comments here on LA’s blog, it’s clear that you have lived one hell of a life, and that you’ll continue doing so no matter what. I love reading your comments, hearing your POV, your attitude to life, love and it all. I hope you’ll forgive me for making a personal comment but, like Lauren Bacall, you’re one hell of a broad! (if you’ll excuse the vernacular).

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  12. I love this LA. My biggest issue with New Year’s resolutions is that most people talk about abstract goals without much of a plan. What you’ve laid out gives folks the start of a plan to make things happen. Love your examples too. Now I gotta think how I would respond!! 😎😎😎😎☺️☺️

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  14. Great questions LA! For my answers, I may need quite a few pages to cover all the different stuff I want to achieve as someone who started to live life late in my years! 😀

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  15. Who am I? A confused man who has found himself living in a shotgun shack in another part of the world.

    Where am I going? Nowhere. I’m letting the days go by and letting the water hold me down.

    Why am I going there? Time isn’t holding up, time isn’t after us. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.

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