Love, whether in friendship or romantic relationships, goes wrong when we forget to tell people who we are and forget to ask who they are. Both friends have a responsibility to continue to learn and accept who the other is in the present.Natasha Lunn- Conversations on Love
Do we need to tell people who we are? Or do we just let them assume things about us?
A long time ago, when my Husband and I were friends, long before we even entertained becoming a couple, he threw me a surprise party.
I hate surprises.
I mean, I really hate being surprised. I am not using the word hate as an exaggeration: this is not for me.
So, I was very unhappy at my surprise party, the exact opposite of what I was supposed to feel.
I couldn’t really blame K though- he had no idea that someone could hate a surprise party. But now, he knows. He knows that I like to be prepared, I like to think thirty steps ahead, and I like to have control about the things that I can control. I do not do well in chaos. Ok- scratch that- with the exception of 9/11 and Lockdown, I actually do better than most in a crisis- but only because my logic gene kicks in…
But anyway: I hate surprises and my husband is aware and we plan accordingly. I needed to tell him this, because a life of surprising me would be very very bad.
The non negotiable stuff- you need to tell the people closest to you how you feel about certain things. Do not let them guess- both parties will end up being disappointed.
Are you good at telling your friends and family WHO you are?
Are there things that you could do better?
How can we communicate better with the people in our lives?