Part of growing up is learning about disappointment and giving up grandiosity and not seeing yourself as the centre of the world. Because you’re the centre of your world but not the center of the world.

Susie Orbach as quoted to Natasha Lunn in Conversations on Love

I know a lot of people who think they are the sun. We can even reach back to that infamous quote by Christina Yang to Meredith Grey (which really was quite unnecessary because there’s no character more self centered than Meredith Grey).

What do I mean by this?

I mean people who really think everything in life revolves around them.

Case in point:

I know someone who is about to start chemo treatments this week. While I understand that this person has faults, they are still older and starting chemo treatments. If anyone thinks this is an easy thing to go in for, at any age, I’ll ask you to go look into a mirror and see if you see a big yellow orb, or yourself…

But anyway…

Person going in for chemo. And their relative says about them: “I’m mad at them because they didn’t call my son and congratulate him for getting into his safety school. Why should I care about their treatment.”

FYI- the diagnosis and treatment option came on the same day as the college acceptance…

So I must ask the question:

While we most certainly must have self respect, and think about ourselves and what is happening to us, are their times when we can cut someone else a little slack, and if not put them first, can we at least think about them a little? Realize that they really might be going through a tough time?

How do we balance being the sun, while giving our family and friends and co workers a little bit of light every now and then? How do we arrange the boundaries?

How often do we really need to be the sun?

Discuss:

41 thoughts on “Center of the World”

  6. How very sad. I feel almost as sorry for the self-centered schlub as I do for your friend dealing with cancer. My MIL was one of those the-whole-earth-revolves-around-me people, and when she died, it was sad to see how few people mourned, or even cared. She had never given anyone a reason to care about her. I think such people are very lonely and need to keep telling themselves that they’re special. I hope your friend is doing well.

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  7. You mean I’m not the center of he universe? Oh shock of all shockers. Ha, ha. I do find it amazing how some folks have such a big problem with thinking that the world revolves around themselves. I get frustrated or think the world is coming to an end and then I see someone do a good deed or put someone in need first and I’m reminded that there really is good in the world. Some days you just have to look for the good.

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  9. Tit for tat. Sigh. That way of thinking is familiar to me. It’s not a nice look.

    I feel that we all become preoccupied in our own problems, and it is difficult to recognize that others are also coping with their problems. However, opting not to check in on someone who is having a difficult time because they did not check in on you is not a compassionate way to live.

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  10. It’s not the sum of the Sun. I like the glare. Think it can be healthy. It’s when a person feels that a given personal circumstance demands that all others live only on and by their time.

    Same maybe…but a bit different. Damn a need a stronger pair of sunglasses.

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  12. Ooh it would have been hard foe me to keep my mouth shut if that person had complained to me! But sadly that is the attitude of too many …. “well I know that person is going through a hard time BUT … WHIINE, what about me!”
    Truly self centeredness is alot of why the world is in the mess it is in today!

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  14. It goes back to the old saying of “be kinder than you need to be because everyone is going through something.” You can’t do that if you can’t get over yourself, if your needs or emotional fulfillment is more important than everyone else’s. Blessings on your friend. I think a cancer diagnosis is probably most people’s worst nightmare.

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  15. With knowing this person is going through a scary medical diagnosis, it’s hard to comprehend someone being offended at not mentioning their child’s accomplishment. Seems very selfish and insensitive. I think it’s made worse by the comment “Why should I care about their treatment.” Why should you care? Because it’s KIND to care.

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  16. Nothing about humanity or the lack of it surprises me anymore. Our culture seems to be one of self-centeredness and self-indulgence. Empathy and sympathy are very hard to come by these days. If everyone had to walk one day is the shoes of someone going through an illness or a treatment like chemo, they would look at others in a different light.

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