I recently read Conversations on Love by Natasha Lun. As Goodreads states, “a celebration of love in all its forms”. I am fascinated with the who, what, when where and how of love, as is this author, who interviews all different people on different aspects of love. Alas, I couldn’t assign this book to you all to read (though I really wanted to) I found it very discussionable, so for what is going to seem like forever, I’m going to talk about various parts that I thought were interesting.
So when an unhelpful colleague said, ‘When someone is single for a long period of time and they don’t want to be, there’s usually a reason,’ I held on to her words as evidence there must be a reason I was single too. Natasha Lun
If someone is single and they don’t want to be, do you think there’s a reason?
Personally, I have often thought this same thing. I have many friends that are single and thriving by choice. They unapologetically love their lives sans partners. Bravo to them.
I also have friends who are single but don’t want to be. They bemoan their lack of love. And I have often thought that exact quote, uncharitably as it may be…
Many of my single but don’t want to be friends/acquaintances are unwilling to compromise. Which leads me to my first thought:
- If you are in a relationship, do you have to compromise? Can you be in a relationship and have everything your way?
My single but don’t want to be’s seem to be on the lookout for faults. They’ve mentioned things like- “he didn’t brush his tongue” to “he thinks going to movies is silly when you can watch at home”.
- Is anyone faultless? Is finding fault in seemingly trivial matters a red flag of something?
- Is there a level between petty annoyances and actual faults?
Everyone ones someone young, virile and attractive. Especially my single friends. Alas, as we get older, we don’t all age like George Clooney. We add on a few pounds, we have less lustrous hair, we grown hairs in places we didn’t think possible to grow hair…
- While I get that you need to be attracted to a partner, do they need to be attractive in the conventional sense of the word? Are we too hard on someone who is 65 and looks their age?
What do you think about the statement? Do you know anyone who is single and doesn’t want to be? I know I was thinking of people around my age, but does this hold true for younger people?
Is there a reason why people who don’t want to be single are single?