I am not always the sane, rational person that you’ve come to know and love.

Don’t argue: sometimes I can go a little, what’s that word that we aren’t supposed to use anymore? Crazy…

Case in point: A few months ago I was sitting in my favorite chair, reading on my ipad. I put my ipad on the coffee table. Ok- I thought I was putting it on the coffee table and i kind of missed the table and my ipad fell. A bit later I realized that I had cracked the screen

I was not happy.

I’m sure if you were within a hundred mile radius of me, you knew that I was not happy about cracking my ipad. It was exacerbated by the fact that I was days away from vacation. How could I survive a long plane ride without a book?

Vaja! Quina catastrofe!

I sat in my chair, pouting like a toddler. I never crack my phones! I never crack my ipads! I am super careful with devices. How did I do this?

Does the ipad still work my husband and daughter asked.

Yes I replied

So what’s the issue they said?

I’m an idiot I responded…

Even though my ipad was, and three months later, still is operational, I had a lot of trouble getting over the fact that I had been careless with it. I could not let it go. I stomped. I sighed. I exhaled louder than a non athlete should. I was irrationally angry that my three year old ipad was no longer pristine…

Why do I torture myself like this?

What was it about this particular device, this particular incident that threw me over the rails?

Why are there seemingly insignificant things that we have trouble getting past? Why are we often able to handle the “BIG” things, but sometimes struggle with the little stuff? Is it that we try so hard to control ourselves, keep our emotions in checks in certain moments, but then allow ourselves the ability to just let loose over something that is seemingly unimportant? Do we sometimes need a good vent? Do we sometimes need to just let the anger out before it builds too much? Do we need to occasionally release steam so that we can handle the next actual crisis?

Have you ever lost it over something trivial?

Why do you think we do that?


61 thoughts on “The Ipad

  1. I could so analyze this in terms of what I’ve been reading lately. You use a few key words, link them with an overblown (irrational) reaction based on a strong need to protect very specific pieces of property, berate yourself for what happened and then later redefine the same type of items as insignificant, unimportant and trivial. My reading would say that both your brain and your body are reacting to something from the past, rather you realize it or not. Very specific moments and reactions like this are triggers and your response is the continued way you are trying to deal with and make sense of it. The question then becomes: do you go back to find the original event, or continue to be triggered? Two words: generational trauma. Seriously.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Oh yes, I recognise that type of happening.

    I tend to believe it happens because of the whole straw breaking the camel’s back thing. We’re busy handling all kinds of big stuff, we have to stay calm, rational and in control in order to get through them, so something small and (relatively) insignificant, allows us to let all our repressed emotions out.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I actually did the same exact thing with my iPad Pro. I had fallen asleep in my recliner one evening while reading on my iPad and awoke abruptly in the middle of the night. I was startled and surprised I wasn’t in my bed. So, I jumped up to race the bathroom before heading into the bedroom when I heard a crash. Even though I was groggy and half asleep I soon realized that my new iPad pro had been in my lap and flew onto the marble coffee table when I got up. Yep, I cracked the screen. It looks like a spider is spread across it. So I totally get how you felt. Then I was up all night upset with what I had done. I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, googled the cost of replacing the screen. I was furious at myself for not stopping and putting away my electric device, and angry at myself that i could be so careless.

    But here’s the thing. In the scope of life this event is nothing. It didn’t deserve my reaction ( or over reaction.). I mean for goodness sake, I’m dealing on a daily basis with cancer. And I have an upcoming surgery soon. I have really big stuff to worry about. This was just my iPad. ( yes, a very expensive toy, but it still worked fine). Yet it was the final straw for me. And about 5 am that morning I began to sob. Great big loud ugly sobs. I think I had just had enough! Yes, it’s annoying, frustrating, and one more problem the universe threw at me to solve. But it certainly didn’t deserve the reaction I gave it.

    LA, I think as women we learn early on that we have to handle everything in life. And we must be strong all the time for others. So We suck it up and push our emotions to the bottom of the pile on our list of things we have to do. We are mothers, wives, grandmothers, daughters, workers, housekeepers, teachers, care givers, you name it. So….We keep going and going like the energizer and handle things. We stay strong. But every now and then we break a little and let go. We lose it! Perhaps if we allowed ourselves the right to let our feelings surface more often this wouldn’t happen. I stay strong for my family, I don’t let my kids or my doctors see me cry. But boy I cried over my iPad Pro.

    Update. I never fixed the iPad screen… at least not yet. I’ve learned to adjust to the crack. And I just printed out documents from it concerning my newest surgery coming up. So it works just fine. Every now and then we have to give ourselves a break and let off steam. What’s the children’s song? “Let it go.” I think losing it now and then is normal and healthy .

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Well, now you don’t have to worry about breaking it! 😉 The technology will be out of date soon anyway. 🤔 I always breathe a sigh of relief after my husband puts that first scratch on a new car. That relieves the pressure on me. This makes me think of my parents who grew up in the Depression. There were 6 kids in our family. New cars didn’t happen until the kids were all grown. We rarely had much that was new. But thinking back, my parents didn’t worry about possessions being perfect. I think they had their priorities in order. Their children were fed, clothed, educated, and loved. That was enough.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Let it go is also my philosophy. Often times easier said than done.
      Why are there seemingly insignificant things that we have trouble getting past? As others have said possibilities are bad habits or bad memories or bad upbringing or…Whatever it is, it can probably be changed if you want to put in the effort.
      Why are we often able to handle the “BIG” things, but sometimes struggle with the little stuff? Is it that we try so hard to control ourselves, keep our emotions in checks in certain moments, but then allow ourselves the ability to just let loose over something that is seemingly unimportant? All of this stuff is more often than not situation specific.
      Do we sometimes need a good vent? Do we sometimes need to just let the anger out before it builds too much? Do we need to occasionally release steam so that we can handle the next actual crisis? An emphatic yes

      Have you ever lost it over something trivial? Of course

      Why do you think we do that? Don’t often stop to think about it and instead just try to let it go. The most thought I might give this stuff, if I am able to step back and look at it calmly, is a reminder to not sweat the small stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. This is my reaction when my computers go wonky on me. I throw them. That does not help. I had a cycle: gnashing teeth and banging keys in frustration, tears and rending of garments, throw the machine, figure out how to fix it. Recently I had a computer glitch and went straight to the last thing without all the drama. I don’t know how I overcame that, but it sure was a relief!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I totally relate. On our beach vacation, I had my spanking brand new laptop on the coffee table and I knocked a glass of water over near it. I cleaned up the spilled water and I didn’t think any got on the laptop. But the next day, it wouldn’t turn on. I totally lost it. The laptop was under two months old. Three days later, I turned it on and it worked fine. Whew. But I wouldn’t let it go that I was so careless.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My first thought: damn Apple, they make products that we can’t live without, but they have flimsy screens. Hmm, am I a bit touchy? Ha, ha. I don’t have an answer, but I can relate, there have been events or things that have happened and I carry them with me way longer than I should. Then, something else happens and I get over it right way. My only answer is feeling out of control or hurried. Who knows? But when you have an answer I’ll be interested in knowing. Ha, ha

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I tend to think it’s BECAUSE we can handle all the big stuff that the little things can throw us over the edge. Frustrating. I have screen protectors on my phone that I’ve had to replace several times now but I don’t have one on the iPad. Should probably look into that.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Our local phone shop does a silicone screen protector and guarantees the screen for the life of the phone. To be fair, it costs $50, BUT you get your screen guaranteed for the life of the phone, and if the silicone fails, they replace the silicone, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lesleykluchin and LA, I have an Ipda Pro, bought a nice cover, a screen protector that feels like paper, it is my 3rd. Welp I dropped my it and an unprotected edge by the speaker hit first. #$@^&~ the corner looks like a spider web. The screen protector is keeping the pieces in place. I rushed to the Apple store “Oh we can’t fix ipad pros, but I can sell you a refurbed one for $700.” #$@^&%# I’m living with it but 18 months later I am still made at myself.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I find it super hard to believe it cannot be fixed but they pointed out that there is damage to the aluminum lip that holds the screen and that was a big issue. I wasn’t friendly about it and said yeah. So

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I can totally relate. My tablet is extremely important to me and if I were to crack it, I’d honestly probably cry. I mean, I did cry (well, more liked sobbed) over my gazebo being destroyed from high winds this past summer. It’s funny how some things can hit us hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This morning I had trouble leaving the house clutching two books, two walking sticks and my keys. I dropped the keys. I muttered something under my breath and, in frustration, threw my sticks to the ground. I just wanted to release steam and couldn’t, whilst standing in the street, do so verbally. The sticks made a very satisfactory clatter.
    Of course, there was one downside to my childish petulance. can you guess what it was? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am not super careful with my devices. The iPhone screen is chipped in several places. It doesn’t appreciate being dropped. And I am now on my second iPad. The first got watered in the garden as I was listening to an audiobook while watering the garden. Point to note – iPads don’t need watering. Then a couple of months ago I sat on my iPad. It was on the couch beside me, face down to keep the screen safe. But what I didn’t know was the iPad was face down on the charger – a very badly shattered screen. After several months, I gave in and had the screen replaced. Another $150 I could have saved.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. Oh, yes, this happens to us all. I believe it’s a product of deep conditioning, whether the pattern of behavior was given to us, or something we developed, we have a deeply engrained trigger around something, and it really can be anything, and we react from the same place we always have. When we understand these triggers, however, we can begin to remap our brains with new reactions and possibilities. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Every time the sock monster has a casualty. But then I rationalize, it’s usually a static cling issue and found eventually and/or I have a crap load of socks that I really shouldn’t cry over one pair even if it is a favorite.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The biggest, loudest, responses that come from mishaps, are not about the mishap itself but something more, related to something else. Perhaps bless about the iPad and more about how you think you would be? (Perfect?). Just guessing here.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I think the little things are more upsetting because they are just that: little things. We have no control over life’s big events, so when something like a cracked iPad happens, it just feels that much worse. I’ve never broken a device (knock on wood), but I suspect I’d react the same way you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. My housekeeper accidentally broke a bell that had been a gift from my mom. And while I was very understanding, I let that bother me for the longest time. Irrational, I know. It’s been years and still sometimes I grieve for that damned bell.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s