You have to renew a driver’s license. You need to renew a passport. These are just things that we need governmental approval to get, and must physically work with an agency to keep these things valid.

What if we needed to do the same with marriage licenses?

How many people do you think would renew a marriage license if they had to go down and reapply?

A few months ago, I don’t remember which post, but Leslie and I got to discussing this- how many people are so involved in their marriage that they would make an active effort to get it reinstated?

Can you imagine every seven years needing to speak to your spouse and decide whether or not to go to a government office and renew the license?

So…

What do you think? Should marriage licenses need to be renewed? Pros and cons.

Discuss

70 thoughts on “Renew”

  1. I was going to opt out of commenting on this one, however… if a couple decided not to renew does that equate to an automatic divorce in your imaginary world? So much easier and cheaper and given my status now I would say the idea is entirely plausible!

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    1. If I were to think about this one step further, I’d say every marriage would have a prenup and all those considerations would be established in the first rush of love, so yes, not renewing the contract would automatically divide assets, and no divorce would be needed because you didn’t renew

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  2. I think it’s a great idea! I do seriously! At 20 My first marriage only lasted five years. I could have saved a lot of money by just not renewing it. I don’t regret that marriage I have a fabulous son from it. But how simple it would have been to separate and then not renew the certificate. *Only the certificates need a childcare clause because children can be a product of the marriage. . And perhaps instead of 7 it should for ten years since the social security laws say that if you are married for ten years you can collect your spouses social security if they Die. Even if you are divorced.
    For me that meant I was able to collect widows pension and retire at 62 rather than 65 because my ex made more money than I did. (When I turned 66 I went on my own social security benefits).
    So the certificate would have to align with government documents and rules. It would also need to include a page about child support and then division of property etc.
    Having gone through a divorce and having had to protect my child, I would want an addendum to include provisions in case of non renewal of the certificate. ( like having each party pay half for college etc). So a drop down menu perhaps lol.
    Experience has taught me that it would be a good thing to have to renew certificates. Perhaps even requirements should include a discussion with a counselor before renewal. Then maybe marriage would be taken more seriously. For me it would have been great. And quite honestly while I loved my second hubby our marriage lasted 23 years before he got cancer and died. I might not have renewed it for quite as long as it lasted. Lol 😉 What? I’m being honest. Men get cranky as they age. And They are quite a lot of work. Lol

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      1. I think it would make people work harder. That is if they wanted it to work. Maybe for some it would be an easy way out! Divorces cost a lot. This would be cheaper, less dramatic and less stressful. I like the idea.

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    2. I too think it’s a brilliant idea but to put it into practical terms might be a little difficult. Rather than renew maybe married people could check in or visit, particularly because people change after a certain amount of time, or with life-changing experiences such as children, home ownership, illness and/or death…

      I don’t like the idea of a disposable relationship in principle but this does happen only too often.

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  3. I can’t agree that a legal renewal is a good idea because what a PITA. But that idea of renewing every 7 years is really compelling. Just touching base, seeing what each other needs, reestablishing your connection, considering what the next 7 years is likely to bring is a great idea!

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  5. Now that’s my idea of an intriguing proposal! Even for those in happy/healthy marriages, it would provide a different kind of discussion and reflection point every 7 (or whatever), which can only be a good thing. And I speak as someone who’s had 55 years of a happy marriage … to date at least! Nice thought, LA.

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  6. As I said above, disposable relationships after a short while are only too common, but observing unhappy or unhealthy relationships long term is disturbing to me. My parents’ generation to “stick it out” was prevalent despite keen and evident unhappiness, but perhaps in earlier years, there were less opportunities to make it outside of a relationship after a certain age (I mean, it wasn’t perceived as acceptable to leave a relationship because the social stigma was hurtful mostly for women.)

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    1. I read a statistic that of couples who divorce because they “fell out of love”, where there wasn’t a “big” issue, something like 85% regret the decision to divorce

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  8. Although this is an intriguing subject, as someone who has never married – and doesn’t intend to – I think I’ve ruled myself out 😀 But I shall read with interest…

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    2. Ok…here’s my problem with sickness, health thing. My ex husband had a substance abuse problem, which many would define as sickness. While I tried to stay with him, I just couldn’t for my own mental health. Am I a bad person because I put myself first? I think there’s lots of ifs

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  10. I like the idea of recommitting. Depends on the cost of the renewal. Car licenses go down as the car ages, would the marriage license go down as well? We have considered renewing our vows and having a party because we had such a small wedding, would that be considered the same thing?

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  14. A friend today mentioned that he forgot to get his car inspected last month. It just slipped his mind. What would happen if you forgot to get your marriage license renewed? How would that work? Ha, ha. Interesting idea. As crazy as it may be, I’m actually surprised some lawmaker hasn’t come up with the idea, not for the same purposes as you mentioned, but instead as a new revenue source!

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  16. Ooooh. This is a good question. Especially if the renewal cost was $100 or more. And how would it be enforced? Would getting engaged be like a having a learner’s permit?What a fun thing to think about today. 🙂

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  18. Even though I just posted an answer to your question, I just have to say this…some of you are making me appreciate my wife of 48 years more. Nobody’s perfect you know. And if you expect perfection in a person, you are going to be sorely disappointed. There is only one person I know of who was perfect. And He got crucified. Hmmm. Maybe a correlation between that and marriage.
    But I stand by what I said earlier…you make a promise, you keep it.
    (I know just where this will go)

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    1. It’s not perfection one seeks, but like I mentioned my first marriage…bad substance abuse issue, maybe I made a promise, but I was feeling horrible about myself. Or the person who works too many hours and is never home, or the person who doesn’t work and doesn’t try to….it’s a case by case situation really

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  19. Interesting question although anything we have to renew here, we do online. So it might just be forgetful and you don’t renew your marriage license. I wonder what the outcome of that would be. If you don’t renew your drivers license you can’t continue to drive…

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  21. I think if you want to renew your vows, go for it. But I got annoyed living in Washington state when they made you renew your license plate every seven years. Regardless of its condition, you had to fork it over and get a brand new one every seven years. I guess I just don’t like being forced to do something, and this is an extreme example. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; if it is broke, get the hell out…and hopefully, a lot quicker than seven years.

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  23. This is brilliant. It would alleviate so much. I’ve never been through a divorce, but I’ve observed quite a few, and it looks like a pain for a variety of reasons. Simply letting your marriage license lapse or choosing not to renew seems like a much better idea.

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  24. It is an interesting topic on a theoretical level. The idea of the government being involved in marriages is a whole different discussion. I think marriage should be a lifelong commitment (except for cases of abuse, affairs, etc. where one partner has clearly broken the commitment). It is certainly a good idea for people to take a step back periodically to examine their own performance in the marriage.

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    1. That’s my biggest thing…I think everyone needs to be “aware” in their marriages, and I think, like in my observation walks, people aren’t aware of what they’re doing and how it affects their partner. Maybe we need a reality check

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  26. What a great idea! Giving a couple space to really think about their relationship and if it’s still working for them can only be a good thing. Of course it’s fraught with all sorts of difficulties but, as a concept, great!!

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