Someone commented the other day that I had a lot of grief in my life.

No kidding.

But life is filled with good and bad, elation and frustration. Life is messy and uncontrollable- no matter how much we try to control it. And that’s OK. Because the messy bits are often the ones we laugh about years later- what was frustrating in the moment end up being cherished memories.

On our vacation, our hotel was on a plaza. The street behind it was small and underused. When our tour bus was going to pick us up in the morning, we weren’t quite sure where the bus would be- so I stayed by the small street, and my husband ran to the major street where our concierge said many of the busses did the pickup. So we had to look for the van and keep an eye on one another. The van actually drove through the plaza and picked us up at the hotel, and I was waving frantically to my husband who was on about 100 feet away. It was messy and silly but we chose to laugh about me screaming and jumping up and down to get my husbands attention…

I am grateful for the messy bits, the grief, the never exactly knowing what is going to happen. I am grateful for all the things that get thrown at me because it’s all part of living a full life.

My word for the week was TRUST. Here’s how it was used in the books that I’m reading:

  1. It was heart shattering to see children in these situations, to feel their arms around you when they were afraid, and equally when they learned to trust you. Christy Lefteri (fiction)
  2. He could not trust them, but he had no alternative. Sarah Rose (non fiction)
  3. That’s the other thing that forgiveness does: it allows you to trust yourself. Natasha Lunn (non fiction)
  4. If dozens of people let you down, all people become untrustworthy. Stephanie Foo (non fiction)
  5. It’s a temple to a certain kind of faith, the residual trust that there is a higher authority who knows the answers, who can save us. Katherine May (non fiction)
  6. Charleston’s Blue Bicycle Books is named after the trusty steed that owner Jonathan Sanchez rides to work, with books stacked high over the rear wheel. Jane Mount (non fiction)
  7. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her and ask her to trust me again. Daniel Black (fiction)
  8. When an addict first got clean or sober, they had to work hard to win back the trust of the people they loved- but when they got it, it was beautiful. Marian Keyes (fiction)
  9. As the Art Assignment host Sarah Urist Green observed, it also spoke to personal relationships: “Who do you trust to hold the other half of your tuba?” Rob Walker (non fiction)
  10. For almost forty years, Ronnie wore her thorns and wrote in private, and believed herself safe, trusting that what she’d done would stay, forever, between her and God. Jennifer Weiner (fiction)

Here’s how I’m thinking about TRUST

  1. How often do people say “Trust me”- do you trust someone that says trust me?
  2. If someone says “Trust me”, does that mean they are lying the rest of the time?
  3. If you’ve lost trust, do you ever really get it back?

I Do Not Love Thee
Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton - 1808-1877

I do not love thee!—no! I do not love thee!
And yet when thou art absent I am sad;
   And envy even the bright blue sky above thee,
Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad.

 
I do not love thee!—yet, I know not why,
Whate’er thou dost seems still well done, to me:
   And often in my solitude I sigh
That those I do love are not more like thee!
 

I do not love thee!—yet, when thou art gone,
I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)
   Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone
Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear.
 

I do not love thee!—yet thy speaking eyes,
With their deep, bright, and most expressive blue,
   Between me and the midnight heaven arise,
Oftener than any eyes I ever knew.
 

I know I do not love thee! yet, alas!
Others will scarcely trust my candid heart;
   And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,
Because they see me gazing where thou art.

Public domain- poets.org

39 thoughts on “Gratitude and Mindfulness: 8/13/22”

  2. Personally I am always wary after losing trust over something major. The little stuff, the silly unplanned stuff is easy to let slide, but the big stuff…it hangs around.

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  5. It all depends on who says “trust me” and the context in which they say it, whether I trust them or not. I’m a bit of a skeptic…and that being said…I trust (as much as a skeptic can) until given a reason not to trust. Once that’s been broken, it’s incredibly difficult for me to trust that person, creature, thing or situation again. I trust God. I trust myself most of the time, but I keep in mind that we mere mortals are fallible.

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  9. Having someone break a trust relationship is the most painful grief. You can forgive, you can try to trust again, but there will always be a scar that brings remembrance of a trust once held dear and then broken.

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  13. Ah trust! Boy, that’s a tough one. We learn from our experiences. Hopefully, life teaches us a few things. I have gained some wisdom over the years. I tend to trust easily. Perhaps it’s the teacher in me. I start out being open and ready to trust, yet I’m very cautious. Life has taught me that even those you are closest to are not always trustworthy. So while I want to trust people I am very, cautious about trusting strangers, salespeople, or people I hire for things.
    Example: during my recuperation from extensive cancer surgery I was prepared, hired a company owned by a friend of my son’s, and was reassured I’d have 24 hour care. ( two caregivers each one 12 hours at a time for a week after surgery). One was terrific, the other shirked her responsibility totally. So while I trusted the company, trusted my self in the hands of others because I temporarily needed to depend on the assistance of a.caregiver, I once again learned that trust isn’t equal from person to person. Everyone has their own sense of values and each person’s interpretation of reliability and being trustworthy Is different. It’s all relative.
    I think about that line that Clinton stated when being grilled about Monica L.”I did not have sex with that woman.” I remember debating the word faithful with my gal pals. Even my friends had varying views of cheating. (Which really surprised me). So trust is likely relative too.

    Trust, to me, Is being honest, reliable, truthful, and fulfilling obligations. If I hire an A/C guy I hope he fixes my air conditioner. But yeah, I’m Leary of people and their expertise. I trust my doctors.. I trust my family. I loved my first husband. But, I learned I couldn’t trust him. We are still friends and he’s a nice guy. But I learned he wasn’t the most trustworthy husband or father. Sadly I think my son figured that out too. On the brighter side my son became an incredibly dependable son and father because he knew that having a dad who wasn’t always reliable was disappointing. So knowing who to trust is a good skill to have. Im pretty wise about most things. However, I admit, I don’t have that much trust in men my age.lol

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    1. Knowing who to trust, and who not to trust. It’s a skill, but no matter how much we think we know, some people will betray us. We can only hope we get the trust thing right most of the time

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  14. I am sitting here shaking my head in agreement as I read your post. I have been told the same about having a lot of grief in my life, but I do love life. Sure it would have been nice to not have some of the parts but like you said its all part of a full life.

    i agree with one reader who said it depends how “Trust me” is said, the context. If they say it with a sheepish/teasing grin on their face, then No! LOL! But yes when said sincerity I believe them. I think trust can be regained again, but it takes time and depends how badly the trust has been broken the first time.

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  16. Love this “life is filled with good and bad, elation and frustration. Life is messy and uncontrollable- no matter how much we try to control it. And that’s OK. Because the messy bits are often the ones we laugh about years later- what was frustrating in the moment end up being cherished memories.”

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  17. When someone says trust me, it makes me doubt them. When trust is gone, it’s hard to gain it back. When my son was 1, something happened. I saw a different side of my husband. I saw who he becomes around certain people, and for years I couldn’t trust him. I still don’t. Sometimes I convince myself I do, that I’m just being paranoid, but deep down I know I don’t trust him, especially when he hangs out with certain people. I trust him at work and at home but not if he goes out with friends. Thankfully, he rarely goes out with friends.

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