A few months ago I bought a tub length rubber bath mat to prevent slipping in the tub.

There.

I said it.

I have reached the age where I am not so sure footed in the tub and I worry more about slipping than I ever did before so I researched non slip bath mats that can be thrown in the washer to sanitize and were long enough to cover the whole tub and I ordered one.

Why is it so tough to admit that?

I admit it’s odd that this post is scheduled the day after my 58th birthday- back when I bought the mat and thought about this notion, I just wrote the blog idea down, not even really considering the date that I scheduled it for. Then just last week I had a blog conversation with the always thought provoking KE Garland, and we talked about the reluctance to accept that one does indeed get older, and some things do indeed need to change. http://navigatingthechange.com/2022/05/06/diary-of-a-peri-menopausal-woman-acceptance/

I am getting older.

I prefer a non slip bath mat.

I like comfortable shoes.

I walk slower now.

My neck hurts if I fall asleep on the couch.

I have really bad gas pains if I eat too much.

My natural hair color is much more grey than it is brown.

Sex is not quite as smooth as it used to be.

I need to accept that my body doesn’t do things quite the same way anymore. I need to make adjustments to how I go about my day to day. There is no shame in this. It would be silly to expect my body to behave the same way it did 5, 10, 20 years ago. This is just life. I am grateful for the privilege of aging. It is an honor to be 58 and I hope to have the honor of being 59. I do not take these years for granted. I accept my age with all the good and not so good that it entails.

I needed to take my Mother to the Doctor a few weeks ago- she has been having some not so fun and new issues. She said to the Doctor-

“I’ve never had this before.”

The Doctor gently said:

“You’ve never been 81 before.”

My Mother scoffed at this. She basks in the glow of people telling her how good she looks for her age. She just can’t handle that her body isn’t quite what it used to be- that some things are breaking down. She can’t accept aging. She doesn’t want to adapt to the new normal.

We all need to adapt to the new normal…whatever the new normal may be. And that includes accepting that as we age some things must change. Why do we fight so hard to remain young? What is wrong with getting older? Why is society bent on telling us aging is bad when in reality, aging is a gift?

I’m not advocating orthopedic shoes and when you’re forty and going grey if it’s not your thing- I’m just saying that it’s OK to make some concessions as you get older. It’s not giving up. It’s getting on with life.

72 thoughts on “Acceptance”

  1. Boo ! hiss ! 🤣 I’m the worst about this. But you’re right, of course . One minute I’m jokingly saying I need to buy a “housecoat” and the next I’m mourning over my menopause belly .

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  2. I hear you! I’m a fan of bad-ass aging. While accepting. Love my gray hair! Love that my age has given me so many freedoms, and as of November of last year, Medicare.

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  3. Seriously, accepting and adapting is difficult but, at the same time, there are so many options to maintain a good physical quality of life as we age, we’d be fools not to take them. And, a non-slip bath mat is not just for the 50+ crowd… 😉

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    1. I know…but as I bought I somehow felt defeated…like I can’t believe I’ve gotten to the point where I’m really afraid of slipping in the shower

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  7. It’s so true LA that accepting aging and changes to our circumstances can be difficult at times. I suppose wanting to hang on to an image in our minds is not unusual as in our minds we can feel very young, sharp and the same as we have since we are 18 “that’s what my Baba said in her 80’s). Good on you for being realistic and genuine. Resistance is futile my Borg friends tell me.

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  8. I have said many times, I have earned every wrinkle. My body maybe changing but in my mind I still feel like I did when I was 18. 😊

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  9. I hate to admit the physical changes are happening even as I strive to stay fit and healthy, but at 61, it’s getting harder. I too feel like a teen trapped in an aging body sometimes, but others I feel like I could dance the night away…if I ever got the chance. Those don’t come often anymore. 😞

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    1. I have a sore shoulder blade for the part two days…don’t know how it happened, and taking longer to go away than a similar pain would have in the past. All part of life

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  10. So a little secret- as I’ve changed and aged the best part has been watching and listening to how others react as they begin to realize that my looks are different, my choices are different, my viewpoints and attitudes are different…The changes have been subtle but as each year passes I add one or two that are pretty noticeable. Sometimes I chuckle to myself over who and how others react. It keeps me entertained.

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      1. You get a lot of insight into social viewpoints on aging, especially if they are different from your own. And of course I’m always looking for good IRL social experiments 😉

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  14. My favorite phrase is “what the Hell is going on now?” It saddens me to thinks things I could do 4 years ago now take an effort, oh well. My father seems to think he is one pill or procedure away from being 18 again. He likes to joke everything he buys comes with a lifetime warranty, except his body. He was offended the other day because his doctor told him he was not a candidate for a procedure because of his age.

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  15. Great post! I became disabled at the age of 36 and in time had to get my head around the fact that accepting adaptations wasn’t giving in but actually enabling me to be more independent. Now I’m a few years on and a big believer in adapting where I have to and then getting on with my day. It was hard at first because it felt like giving in but it really isn’t. Now I focus my energy on what I can do as a result of the changes I’ve made in my home and in my life.

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  17. Sooo true! I think it really is a society thing. We are inudated with ads on how to stay young! But like you said aging is a gift!! We need to treat it more that way, but I will admit it is hard at times. I want to be able to eat anything like I once did and never have the scales move!

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  18. My mom bought me a tub mat when she stayed with me after my hysterectomy when I was 41. I thought it was unnecessary at the time, but quickly became very grateful for it. I’m intrigued by a machine washable one though! I need to find one.

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  19. Aging is hard on our bodies. Accepting aging is hard on our minds. Keeping a positive outlook and making changes to be safer and more comfortable as needed are important whether it is no longer riding a motorcycle cross country by ourselves or buying a nonslip bathmat. One thing I know for sure is that as I age I understand my mother and her need for independence and the sense of control that we lose as we age.

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  20. I can’t believe how much I hurt these days. I went all in on exercising after joining the Y. I did too much too fast and pulled a muscle bending over to pick up a pickle ball! Now I’m still swimming and playing, but relaxing into it, enjoying the moments. I realize I won’t bounce back like I did when I was in my 30s.

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  21. Always on the same wavelength! The opposite of acceptance just causes so much stress for me. Last year, while we were out of the country, I thought I was going to lose it because I couldn’t find the right shade of brown to dye my hair. Anywho, thanks for this ❤

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  23. I ordered a “sit-to-stand” cane and a toilet riser seat last year at 61. Currently wearing my prescription, custom-made orthopedic knee braces. Oh well. I consider them my badass helpers 😜💪🏾

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  24. I got bunions orthopedic shoes work wonders, my wife and I have had a non slip bath mat since moving in together when I was 40 & she was 28, to me it just feels safer..,best at any age. Yeah so many changes about is and I am 6 years younger than you.

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  26. You have a great attitude! Of course from my viewpoint 58 is really young. At 73 I now have more than a mat, I have those bars in my shower so I don’t fall. I had them installed a few years back when I was in an accident and tore my hamstring right off the bone. (Not fun). So I installed the shower bars to hold onto since I was unable to walk at the time. We do what we have to do. Being safe is a priority.

    The reality is we all age if we are lucky enough to be alive. I believe it was Bette Davis who said, “Aging is not for sissies.” That’s very true! , Our physical self is constantly changing . But if you think about it, we have been evolving our entire lives. In order to live our best life, We need to accept that changes are natural. So, while our body does look and feel different, it’s doing what it’s supposed to do.

    Embrace your age and enjoy life. We don’t have to be young to be our best selves. There is nothing wrong with getting older. Im extremely grateful for that opportunity!
    So, Happy Birthday! Continue celebrating being fabulous! ❤️🎈🎉🎂❤️

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  27. I agree that it’s best to accept that our bodies ain’t what they used to be. When we remodeled the bathroom, I made sure to include a bench and separate shower head (adjustable and can be handheld). Wasn’t too long before I needed it after my knee surgery. And will undoubtedly need it again in the future. Let my hair go natural a few years ago (pre-Covid – I must have been psychic!) to match my wrinkly face. No sense denying. Sounds like you are also on the acceptance side of aging.

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  29. My natural hair colour remains under wrap with L’Oreal but I keep the gray showing as I love it. It;s the other that is not so nice. Like you I am honoured. For me – honoured to be 75. Both my folks died way too young and never saw 60’s for one and 70’s for the other. So yes I am honoured.

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  30. I think it’s important to adapt but at the same time, we don’t have to let age stop us from doing what makes us happy. If you like your gray hair, great, keep it. If you don’t, great, dye it. If you can run a marathon still, go for it. If you can’t, take a daily walk. Adapting to our age and abilities is a good way to live a fulfilling life.

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  31. Being afraid of ageing doesn’t prevent the inevitable wear & tear of time on our bodies and minds. Accepting that reality doesn’t mean giving up, it means taking responsibility for ourselves. Taking care of my mind has been easy for me because of all the things I do which I enjoy – reading, study, having lengthy discussions with Himself about all matters of subjects and issues. All good when there’s dementia in the family. I’ve incorporated certain practical changes to assist the physical, but when my brother-in-law mentioned something called “Bungalow Knee” – or the weakening of the muscles around the knee found in those who don’t have to climb stairs on a daily basis – I grimaced, for I’ve noticed a growing knee weakness instead of pain. I’ve ordered myself some exercise steps – it’s like going back to the 80s!

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  32. I tried a bath mat and found that it made me feel like I was going to trip on that. You know, how some shoes just kind of stop you dead in your tracks when you accidentally drag your toe when walking on certain kinds of carpet. It takes getting used to (the bath mat as well as aging).

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  33. We have a porcelain tub, so it should make you feel better to know, it received a shower mat years ago. Falling in a shower is not the way I wanna go out, and really smooth sex takes lots of practice. 🤣

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  34. I have wrinkles, grey hair (which I do tint) and at 55, I own my age. I like the freedom that this age gives me (or that I take from being). I haven’t needed a bath mat yet, but that’ll probably be in the future. As for shoes, I am still trying to keep a little bit of heel as I like it, but with limited time (like going out to dinner) so I’m not hurting my bunions too much. LOL

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