I’ve reached the age where I have to worry about my parents and their health. So as I navigate this stage of life, I am trying to figure out what to do and how to do it. I’ve been trying to share my hard earned knowledge with my husband so that when he starts doing this for his parents, he can learn from my mistakes and lack of knowledge. There are so many paths to navigate, and everyday I realize that something should have been done a different way.
So with this in mind, I have been thinking about a few things:
Should a person just set a date in the future where they start to give power to someone that they trust and respect? Like…at 65, should I start to give my daughter power of attorney over certain aspects of my life? Should I begin to make her my HIPAA guardian, so to speak?
Here’s my reasoning: I’ve noticed that by the time my parents needed help, it was really hard getting my sister and I added to things. We are still in the process of making sure that we can talk to all their medical professionals, and that we can help them with bills and such. It’s a lot of work.
And then I must add…while my parents are mentally capable at this point, who’s to say that I will be as I age? I watch “This is Us”. I’ve read a few memoirs of people facing this, as well as seeing parents of my friends deal with dementia. To need to unravel all the things you need to help a parent who is facing dementia is daunting…
So I’m seriously considering setting up some sort of trust where at age 65 my daughter has the ability to help out and jump in to help me out. And making my husband do the same. I don’t want her to have to worry out the pesky details- I want her to be able to concentrate on helping us and her still being able to function in her own life.
Does that make sense?
I get that some people do worry about whether or not they will be able to trust another to take care of their “stuff”. I understand that. That’s a real fear. But ever since I saw that based on a true story movie about the woman who managed to become ward of some older people and take all their money, I figure that I 150% trust my daughter more than anyone else.
Would you be willing to pick an age to have someone else have the ability to jump in and help out? Or do you just not want to cede control?
Tell me your feelings on any part of this…