Wallace whispered “It’s easy to let yourself spiral and fall.” “It is” Nelson agreed. “But it’s what you do to pull yourself out that matters most.” TJ Klune Under the Whispering Door

We all fall.

We are human.

We make mistakes.

Accept that as the truth that it is. Accept that we will screw up royally at least once in our lives.

Ok- did you accept that you are fallible? Did you wipe that positivity smirk off your face and admit that there are times that you failed, or will fail? That the people around you will fail, or have failed?

Accept that even though you may not have “failed”, some things just didn’t go your way- some things never fell into to place for you. You lost a job or a house or a lover, but not because you did anything wrong, but because unfortunately sometimes life just gets the best of you.

Accepted? Understood?

Great.

How did you recover?

Are you still wallowing in the misery of past fails?

or

Did you pick yourself up and do what you needed to do to move on?

When asked how I define a successful person, I don’t say that success lies in money, or fancy degrees, or a great job. I say success is defined as being able to get yourself up and out there after a setback. To me, anyone who has bounced back is a success.

Did you spiral out?

Did you spiral back in?

Falling down the hole isn’t the worst thing: staying down the hole is.

Figure out how to get up and moving again.

52 thoughts on “Spiraling”

  3. I don’t necessarily consider life experiences as failures. More like learning experiences. What constitutes a failure anyway? My first marriage only lasted 5 years. Not “forever.” Like in the story books. But, I’ve never thought of it as a failure because it produced an amazing son. I guess it’s all how you look at things. I’m trying to think about what is a failure in my life. At 20 I wanted to be a Broadway star but then decided to pursue a degree in elementary education. P Am I a failure because I didn’t win a Tony? Instead I taught hundreds of children and found my true vocation. Nope. Looking back on my life I haven’t any regrets. Certainly no real failures. People are way too hard on themselves. We aren’t perfect.

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    1. I’m big on failure, but I don’t consider it a bad word….I consider it necessary…if you never fail, you never tried. It’s one of those semantics things…to me failure means you put yourself out there and went for it

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  11. So true, its not about falling, like you said, we all fall! If you haven’t yet, you will. But yes, its all in how you get back up!! Been there, and keep getting back up. I can’t tell my kids to get back up if I don’t show them how.

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  12. That’s exactly it. In fact, I would argue that if you’ve not spiraled, what I term, tipping over, or generally known as failing, you’ve not really lived. Experiencing true aliveness is about experiencing all of life, including the failures and the success, and everything in between. Great write, LA.

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  14. Oh heck, I make sure to do make one massive blunder every day.😉 seriously, I do screw up regularly (often dealing with interpersonal communications). It’s something I learned to accept a long time ago, so no wallowing. Sometimes I do need to vent. Yesterday it was a profane little entry in my diary ending with: “Deep breath, let it go.”

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  16. Oh goodness, I have failed time and again. I was fired from 2 jobs I loved and went on to better ones. I had my own business that failed which led me on my career path. My 25-year marriage “failed” but I have 2 great kids and a good rapport with the X. I fail all the time, but I have learned to dust myself off and think about the lesson(s) I have learned from it. Great post, great comments!

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  18. Spiraling – for me – tends to happen before I fall. Once I fall, the only way is up and to keep on keeping on. I find I most often go into spirals when I’m working hard and focussing on something important to me, but the outside world keeps on making time sensitive demands. It’s like there’s some sort of sensor that bleats out “Debs is trying to get stuff done, let’s go overload her!” It’s happened so often now that I expect it, even mostly have strategies to deal with it (get their stuff done as quickly as possible and don’t waste energy reacting). I’m in a spiral right now, but now I’ve recognised it, my survival strategies have kicked in.

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  19. Failure and disappointment are great teachers. But it’s up to us to see it that way. Otherwise, we remain knocked down. We’re able to lift ourselves up when we see failure as an opportunity to grow, learn, become stronger.

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  21. Absolutely. I have failed at things but don’t consider that spiraling. For me the spiral came with the loss of several family members and my own major health issues. I’m still spiraling back, but at least I’m doing it.

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