I don’t often get emails sent to my blog email, and when I do they are either asking a blogging question, asking for me to participate in something, or just telling me something they didn’t want to share over my blog. 99.9 % of the time they are just short, sweet and to the point….

However…

I did get a fun one a few months back…

So this guy emails me. The first email was a continuation of whatever it was that appeared on my blog that day. I figured that as this guy (I assume) was a new reader, he wasn’t comfortable discussing in the open forum. Whatever. It was a nice email and I replied back…

Insert crossed eye emoji’s right here…

So the guy emailed my back and actually said:

“I wish I hadn’t spent so much time working on my awesome body, and had spent more time learning things so I could converse with someone like you.”

What?

Is this guy trying to hit on me and get me to send him suggestive emails?

Is this guy using this as like some form of longform tinder?

I deleted the email.

Now, I’ve gotten a good laugh about this, and a blog post, but I must ask:

Do people look at any form of social media as a way to begin, let’s just say…intimate relationships with people?

Are there people who find this sort of behavior attractive?

I’ve told you about the various conversations that people have attempted to have with me via insta…at least a few times a week I get a message from someone wanting to chat me up…

Is the way of the world now? Do people just want to have cyber sex with people? And if that’s the case…how do I get off that list? Does the randomness of internet dalliances with people you don’t know are actually the people you think they are really fulfill ones needs?

Can we go back to meeting people, finding out about them, and then begin relationships?

What do we think about the social media pick up?

109 thoughts on “WordPress as Dating Sight”

  3. I just experienced this yesterday with a weird comment by a stranger on my blog. It isn’t just there either. Constantly getting hit up on Word With Friends, Instagram, and Facebook Messenger (scammers there) and I’m also married. It’s not flattering, it’s sickening.

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  4. I can agree with you 100% on this topic. It’s the most disgusting thing. An so very unattractive as you have said. I made it clear on my contact page that if someone was looking to talk with me face-2-face, or video chat, or just anything they need guidance on or if it’s just me listening to them get shit off their chest. I posted that if they didn’t mention my site or blog when sending a friend request or email providing me with the name of my site or just the link alone, not only would I NOT accept but I wouldn’t talk to them either because I have to make sure I’m safe as well. So many guys have hit me up on messenger via Facebook acting like they just wanna be friends. Only after I accept the friend request they start getting all perverted on me and gross shit like that. Then I have to block them and delete the chat. I can’t stand that derogatory shit.

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      2. Me too!! Drives me crazy! I love how they pose with pets, are either doctors or military, are single fathers and just want a real relationship…

        Liked by 3 people

  5. People who do this must have gotten a positive response at some point, thus they are encouraged to keep trying with anyone new. I figure they are just in the troll category, maybe harmless-maybe not. I’ve had it happen on IG. I don’t respond, or end up blocking them. Also why I don’t put a contact email here on WP.

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    1. I like the contact email because I’ve mainly gotten great stuff…this was definitely a one off but I thought it was totally worth sharing. Worst pick up line ever

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      1. LA’s guy? He didn’t sound threatening in the way she described his comments, just rather self absorbed regarding his awesome body…why would he think this would interest anyone in relation to his enjoyment of conversing with LA. I’m old and out of touch but do guys really believe this sort of line works?

        Liked by 4 people

  6. That’s the first time I’ve heard of it happening on WP! Wow, I’ve had some strange emails come through, but not any like that. Although, normally I don’t respond to emails at all unless it’s a book I’m going to read by an author, or someone asking a question about a book, etc. GR has taught me well. LOL. On GR it seems to be a daily occurrence. I guess the dating sites are too expensive for them?

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  8. Good one LA. I think the pandemic has forced people to reach out via social media as they wouldn’t in the past. I am continually surprised by the number of people posting about illness and personal crises on Facebook. It leaves me feeling helpless, as in, “I don’t know what I can do.” Maybe they want people to reach out, or just gauge who cares. In any event, I would never respond to an email that was such an obvious pick-up. Your instincts were right.

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  9. I see this two ways:

    1. People connect with others in the blog world because they share something centrally important with others who blog: writing. I have made several close friends in the blog world, male and female, two of whom are local and with whom I’ve built friendships IRL.

    2. I know a happily married guy (who follows me) who met his wife while blogging, on their respective blogs. So yes, I guess it could work, romantically speaking.

    I’m on Twitter too. Twitter is like the contemporary dating apps – people are lonely (especially in pandemic) and want sex (but online flirting scratches an itch). It’s not blogging/writing though. The connections from people who “know” each other as long-time bloggers is different from the Twitter idiocy.

    For what it’s worth, I did not read your guy’s email as offensive or hitting on you. I would have taken it as a compliment (a woman like you) and gently redirected him to look for others who share such similarities. He respected something you’ve written over a period of time and let you know about it. Unless he actually hit on you (maybe you didn’t tell us everything, and you don’t have to), I read his email as non-offensive. He’s finding his way around and looking for people to connect with. You showed him something that resonated and he let you know.

    But maybe I’m just odd. Like I said in my own blog, I march to the beat of my own drum. You handle things your way based on your own experience and gut instinct.

    Thank you for letting me have my say.

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    1. Here’s my thing when absorbing what someone have to say: 1) if this person said this to my daughter, or my daughter brought home a person and this was the second thing they said to her, how would I feel about the person/statement 2) a compliment is I like the way you expressed your feeling/thoughts in this post. What does his body have to do with it? It’s a passive aggressive way of saying I’m hot 3) if he was completely innocent he would have said this in the open forum. By going to a private email, it means he doesn’t want anyone to see the message. I understand not putting out personal stuff for the general populace, but if this was just a compliment why the subterfuge.

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  10. It’s hard enough (for me anyway) to get followers. Much less readers. Now some form of relationship is thrown in? Surely, there must be more efficient avenues than WordPress for this type of thing. So glad I’m married!

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  11. Wow! I have learned on IG and Twitter to check their profile before I accept messages or follow. Not had anything like that on WordPress. Me being me, I would have checked his social media, told him his body wasn’t THAT awesome, then blocked him😁

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  12. I am not sure why some guys do this. But for some reason they do. I used to think it was all about single middle aged men wanting to meet women but then I figured out that it’s more than that. And then one day when I was home with a flu bug (before the pandemic) I caught a Dr. Phil episode about cat fishing. So I think there are lots of scammers out there who steal profile pics of middle aged men and pose as someone else. I think there are a lot of people out there who do it for sex, for $$ scams, or for a variety of strange reasons. It’s easy on social media sights because you don’t see who they really are, and evidently women over 40 are easy targets. They assume Women over a certain age are naive or lonely. Crazy, right?

    When I first was on WP I took a profile selfie and unknowingly snapped the best photo of my life. It was the perfect profile pic. It was one of those amazing selfies taken where the lighting was perfect, the camera angle was great, and the stars aligned. I had just come from the hairdresser with new blonde highlights when I snapped that photo. I was in my mid 60’s at the time but looked decades younger for some reason in this particular photo. I didn’t think about it at the time, just that I had a great new hair cut and so I took a picture. Well, evidently it appealed to every pervert on the planet. I used that photo for several years not realizing that it was a magnet for attracting weirdos. After I lost my hair from cancer and it grew back gray, I was so happy to have hair again that I snapped another selfie photo. (The one that’s up now). The funny thing is, I haven’t gotten those annoyingly strange emails once I used a photo with gray hair. Whatever it was about that other picture, it drew in male followers of all ages.

    I Have reset my settings on FB and Instagram and twitter too because I was also getting hits from middle aged men coming on to me. But, once I posted myself with my new gray hair the number of weirdos bothering me stopped. Maybe it was that perfect selfie photo that attracted strangers, but I discovered gray hair is a deterrent to getting bothered. I think there are a lot of nutters out there. Who are these people? I have no idea, but Evidently there are a lot of them out in cider space.
    Maybe make your profile cartoon older and they will leave you alone?!. Lol

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  14. Yuck. I have been getting more emails lately of people or companies wanting to collaborate….I was thinking of writing about that. I have a friend from high school that is a FB friend. He dm’d me photos of himself posing without a shirt!

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  16. I like how your posts generate so many comments LA. I know that pleases you also. I definitely don’t have the problems women have being hit on or getting strange emails. I think you had some excellent observations about trolls who do this kind of thing. I think I give off a vibe that says safe and committed to my wife (just had our 42nd anniversary) that despite that fact I don’t wear jewelry lets me have women friends as well as men friends. Maybe it’s my Dad jokes that say – you can relax.

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  19. Gross. I’m sick of all these “doctors” on Insta following me. They have no posts and few followers. I’ve also gotten some FB messages too of guys telling me I have a great smile. Just no. I mean, I would NOT want to have to start dating all over again at this point in my life and certainly wouldn’t think about it with one of these guys.

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  21. I guess he was trying to impress you. Sadly, some women would be taken in with that. It’s an annoying thing that happens with me on Instagram. A random message from some guy who says something lame like, “You seem like a nice person to get to know,” blah, blah, blah. Every social media platform has this annoying behavior. I think these people need to stick with the dating apps.

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  24. Somebody else mentioned Words With Friends. Yep. As weird as that sounds, it happens to me all the time there…to the point that I’ve stopped playing anybody new. And they all follow some weird script: What’s your name? Where are you playing from? Are you married with children? Can we move this conversation to What’s App or Messenger?

    I mean, seriously: WTF? I’m here to play knockoff Scrabble, not hook up. Or whatever their game is.

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    1. It’s the reason I only play words with friends with my husband. I’m on there to play a game…not forge a relationship. With the game apps it’s bad because it means they know there spouse checks there emails and apps. It’s “safe” flirting…

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  26. That is funny! I have noticed a few women in the past, not currently hitting up my husband on WordPress even when they found out he had a committed other. We used to laugh about it. I would ask him about “his girlfriends” and he would ask me about my boyfriend-Jim-or the Gym. When you have been in a relationship for a very long time, you can. Hitting up people or bloggers reeks of desperation. In this world, you are better meeting by accident in person.

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  27. Social media is out of hand. Clearly some people need to learn about filters and appropriateness when they communicate online. I don’t know whether this is sad or sick. I guess “sadly sick.”

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  28. I’ve contemplated this before. I’ve not experienced the situation you write about, however, have had some people reach out to me with, ummmm, interesting topics. I do as you did, and delete, and move on. Dating on social media? For me, it’s not the point, and I’m not interested either. If you figure out how to get off the insta list, please do tell. I want off too. Super annoying.

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  29. While I was still married, I had someone ask me out via LinkedIn. I ratted him out to LinkedIn and he got pissed off because they kicked him off. People are strange creatures. On my old blog, I had an offline flirtation with a guy. These days, I am very careful about my privacy. I lurk more than post on social media.

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  31. Lucky you LA! LOL Just kidding. I’d delete too if I had received something like that. Online dating stinks and people feel they can say whatever they want from behind a computer screen. How strange though on WP because we don’t attract that normally…at least I don’t. Anyone who has reached out via email has always been someone I’ve met through WP and conversed with that way so I feel comfortable.

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  33. There is absolutely no shame in such matters. From my online dating days I recognise the signs and block without a second thought or guilt. And I don’t have an email associated with my blog, which also helps 🙂 Instagram is the worst for it, but the profiles are so damn obvious it’s laughable.

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  35. I would be so annoyed. It sounds like you had a decent conversation with this person, and then he turns out to be a weirdo. How disappointing. And, I don’t get it either. How empty must people’s lives be to do this? Sad.

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  38. I think starting off looking to hook up is kind of lame, but why not? If a post of mine or a comment initiates a conversation, why not get to know her? What do I have to lose?

    Like

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  39. Love your post and I had a chuckle over it, but nobody wants to talk anymore. Here I go to date myself, but before we had computers and stuff like we have now, you had to start a conversation, you had to get know somebody, a name maybe ask to have a soda ( having a coffee wasn’t cool back then lol ) if you looking for a one nighter you went to bars and compete with the other guys for the very few women who were looking for the same…
    Hope your doing well
    D

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  40. Okay thanks for the invite,
    So being a man, and in his ahem !! 50’s, when meet a woman, my thought is dont blow it, like to have a second date, it’s usually on the second date you get to know the woman…I remember when I was in the Air Force in the early 80’s, and when a woman wanted to kiss me on the first date…I was scared !! Yes for real, scared, why? My mom told me to look out for fast women lol, and that’s was my definition of fast women lol, how things has changed, but to be honest, once you give in to more than a hug, the whole relationship has changed, it’s difficult to be just “ friends” after that.
    I hope you ladies find a friend that makes you feel like the treasure and princesses you truly are 😊
    D

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