I had a conversation with someone recently. They talked about how they have all their groceries delivered. They buy almost everything off Amazon or via mail. And they routinely use that service that will pick things up for you.

I asked if this was a COVID thing. They replied No, that they were just “too busy” to do all that “normal” (their word not mine) stuff because there lives were just “so jam packed”. Then they asked, rather haughtily, why I didn’t have everything delivered off Amazon. (I won’t go into my long winded answer about dog walking, supporting local, liking to pick my own meat and produce, and time management with you)

To be fair, I don’t need to give an explanation as to how/why I shop the way I do. I don’t care that you wonder how I have the time to do “normal” things. Because frankly, the attempt to tell me that you’re so busy that you can’t take care of your life without the UPS guy makes me a little sad and a little angry.

I am not impressed by those who need to tell me how busy they are.

I am impressed by people who figure out what is and isn’t important in life, and live accordingly.

I like busy. I think people should have things on their plate because I think it keeps the mind stimulated and makes you happier. I like a sense of being mentally and physically challenged at the end of the day. (to be clear, physically challenged means I walked at least 12,000 steps and I did some stretching- I’m OK not training for a triathlon) I think one of the reasons that we have a problem with addiction is that people are bored, or that’s how it starts anyway.

But…

I think when you can’t get a quart of milk, you don’t quite have your priorities straight… I also wonder how much of this talk is for show…How much of this “Oh everything is delivered to me” is supposed to be a sign of wealth and power?

Do people get awed by those that have their lives delivered?

Do people think those who are “sooooo busy” are better?

Is talking about how busy you are a common talking point?

Cause if it is, I will shock you and tell you that Friday afternoon I sat in my brown chair with the attempt to shred some documents, and Betty jumped up and went to sleep on my lap, and that began the end of my weekly productivity. After 2:50, it was TV, magazines and Facetime with the daughter. I ordered takeout because of an intense craving for Red Curry from my favorite Thai place- not because I was too “busy”.

I did ask this person if they wanted me to help them devise a planner system…and I think they were taken aback that I wasn’t impressed by their lifestyle…

If you want to impress me, show don’t tell. Show me your awesome series of lists that get you through the day. Show me your accomplishments. Show me your kindness and humanitarian efforts. Show me why you’re busy. I can respect hard work. I applaud anyone who has a goal and works towards it. But please don’t just say that you are sooooo busy….

Busy is not an accomplishment in itself…

Living a well balanced life is.

105 thoughts on “Too Little Time”

  3. When you are busy and have a day off, you appreciate it greatly-this is noticing how busy you are. Some people use Amazon because they don’t like shopping with crowds or maybe they live in a busy city and need a lot and can’t have no car available. Taxis and groceries in cities get expensive.

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  6. Amen to that “I’m sooo busy!” BS. I know many of these folks and find them quite annoying.
    I discovered grocery delivery during lockdown and haven’t gone grocery shopping in a store since. I get one delivery every 3 weeks. Fresh produce is parboiled and frozen so it lasts. I have groceries delivered not because I’m too busy. Because I detest grocery shopping. 😁

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    1. Completely! I’m f you don’t like doing a task and source it out good for you. But to say you’re “too busy”? Ridiculous. Why try to one up me because I choose to go to the farmers market

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  8. My bff orders everything because she doesn’t like shopping. I’m constantly texting her from Walmart where I buy everything. I avoid Amazon, but I did buy a book there last week that was cheaper new than used, and a replacement part for the barbecue grill that I can’t get locally . As for busy , I’m busy. Some if it might be improved with planning, fewer trips to Walmart , but my life is a caregiver life. It’s unpredictable and constantly interrupted. My time is really not my own. I’ve had to really fight to keep my blog and podcast going. But that’s what I enjoy so I’m not giving it up. If my youngest will just get his drivers license that would help!

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    1. I totally accept not liking to go to stores as an excellent reason to use Amazon. I don’t like “busy” being equated to how important someone thinks they are….

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  9. Meh. Busy. I always thought I was the only person in the world who ‘makes time’ for that or those who are important to me. I drop ‘busy’ for that or those. But I also noticed that I take on too much that impedes my forward propulsion. Outsourcing is a good idea if, as you say, you keep it in check with a balanced lifestyle.

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    1. F it keeps you balanced, have at it. I have a cleaning person every other week…not because I’m sooo busy but because it helps me. FYI…this person also posts pictures of their new pool, and says things like, “though we are too busy to use this very expensive backyard oasis, for the one day a month we can use it it’s heaven”….no fooling….

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  10. I’m with you, LA. I think people who say they are too busy are out of balance. It reminds me of Brene Brown’s research into what makes people whole-heartedly happy. And one of the guideposts (from her book The Gifts of Imperfection) is “Cultivating Play and Rest and Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self Worth.”

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  11. I have a few staples delivered once a week because I’m to lazy to go to the store. I feel like I’ve lived my last 20 years at the grocery store and I’m tired of going. However, I like to pick my own meat so I’ll go for that.
    Whenever I hear people say “I’m soooo busy” I have to roll my eyes because I know the aren’t. You just don’t know how to balance your life and may possibly spend too much time on nonsense.

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      1. So true!!!! When all three of my kids were in sports and other school activities, I had a job, cooked cleaned, and moved non stop until around 8pm I never once said, I’m so busy!! I may have stared at a wall for 30 minutes without blinking 🤣
        But I’m truly convinced that those folks aren’t busy at all!!!!!

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    1. The thing is, I don’t care if people outsource their lives…I get it….this had more of a “I’m so important” ring to it that I don’t like…

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  14. YES YES YES YES YES. I yessed all the yesses of yessington along while reading this post. My friend, I believe this is one of my favorite posts that you’ve ever written.
    This:
    I am not impressed by those who need to tell me how busy they are.

    I am impressed by people who figure out what is and isn’t important in life, and live accordingly.

    YESSSSSS.

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  15. I’m laughing here. There’s no one as earnest as a person who’s trying to impress you with how busy they are. When/if the conversation turns to me I tell them I’m a sloth. Proudly so, btw.

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    1. If my daughter says, I’d like you to read my paper, are you busy…. But lol answer honestly. If someone just sits down and tells me how busy they are….blehhhhh

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  16. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. Personally, I love having things delivered to my home because we are so rural; it’s nearly an hour drive to the closest Walmart. Also, five kids makes it easier to have things delivered sometimes. With that said, we do get our groceries in store because the delivery option isn’t available to us. When it comes to books, there’s just nothing like heading to the local book store—also an hour drive. 😆 I find that it’s important for us to get out, but sometimes it’s nice to just have the option for shipping though too.

    We all have different situations. It sounds to me like this person just finds their time better spent on doing something else.

    Excellent topic! 👍

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      1. I get it. Sometimes I think people use the term ‘I’m too busy’ because they simply don’t want to do these tasks.

        I originally wasn’t thinking about as you mention, with them trying to make themselves (or their life) more important or meaningful than yours. That’s totally different. If that’s the case, that’s just flat-out annoying!

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      2. Yeah…it’s more like self importance. Personally I’m all for outsourcing stuff that we don’t like to do. I would have respected him more if he said he hates grocery shopping

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  17. Interesting—and telling—that they are too busy (and, it seems, too important) to undertake such mundane tasks as personal shopping and supporting local businesses, but not too busy to talk about it ad nauseam. I like your approach so much better….

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  18. Yes! I admit I have been doing more grocery shopping online and then go pick it up but it is more because I really dislike grocery shopping than because I am too busy. Plus, I find it’s cheaper when I do it that way because then “stray” things don’t get into the cart.

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  19. It’s been a pet peeve of mine since I had kids; others telling me how busy they are! It’s a late 20th century form of bragging. Prior generations bragged about the opposite!

    I did chuckle at your offer to help them with their time management. I might borrow that idea!

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  21. Yes to everything. I do order online as it’s often all that’s accessible given where we live. And covid made it the only way at times.

    But shopping local, walks down the road and doing as much as we can for ourselves rather than outsourcing are a priority. These are the things that build community and they are so important to me.

    I think busy has become a sign of success to some – a thing to embrace rather than a sign of poor workflow management and maybe even, an inability to set boundaries that promote healthy living.

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  22. Some people wear “busy” as if it was a badge of honor. I am never impressed by anyone who is SO busy. Especially to this degree, where they can’t even shop for themselves. It just sounds like someone who needs to feel validated. It’s not impressive. It just tells me they need to reprioritize something in their lives. I’m more impressed by someone who tells me how balanced they are.

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  23. I was never busier than when my children were young. And people who chose to work rather than stay home would ask me if I was bored and what I did all day. I look forward to going to the grocery store and farmer’s market. I like to select my produce, etc.

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  27. We are all granted the same amount of time each day. We prioritize according to what is important to us. In this particular case, I think you were supposed to be impressed with her self-importance, but I loved your offer to help her–perfect response.

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  28. I like your conclusion. Busy is fine, but bragging about it is ridiculous. Do they think how they spend their time is oh so much more important than how others use their 24 hours?

    Imagine being our ancestors who spent most of the day working on producing food. We are so lucky.

    I don’t like shopping, but I would not want someone else making my food purchasing decisions for me!

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    1. To be fair, I don’t care who uses what…I just don’t need to hear how busy one thinks they are. We are all busy….it’s not a showing off point…

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  29. Your judgment is as so often very harsh and very one-sided. I get 80% of my groceries delivered. I am self employed, have a little workshop, work around 50-60 hr a week, by choice and necessity. I am on a very strict diet and a foodie.
    1. If others shop for me, I only get what I ordered, it saves a nice amount of money, because there is no impulse shopping.
    2. Many single moms with smaller children can work for Shipt, Instacart, and all the others and make there own schedule and work and make money when needed. I tip very generously.
    3. It saves me time. I can continue to work and someone does the shopping for me. I go only shopping on Saturdays, but the rest of the week. I rather make money!
    In the time shopping saves me, I can give classes, write invoices, call customers and be productive. IF I retire, then I will play housewife and go shopping every day -promised. Until then! Nope!
    So, yes, I am busy and others make a living helping me make money. How is that for starters?

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    1. I don’t care who uses whatever to get their lives going. I have a cleaning person to help out every other week, have a handyman in my building that does odd jobs for me and I definitely use online shopping. However, I don’t like being looked down upon because I don’t spend 2000 a month on Amazon. I don’t need to hear someone bragging that there life is so fantastically filled with things that they can’t possibly do normal errands that most people just do. I don’t like bragging. I’m sorry if you took it that don’t think people should use services. What I don’t like is people who talk about being busy as a badge of honor, as to they are doing things “right” and I am not.

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  30. I don’t want to follow you anymore and would appreciate if you would unfollow me too. The world is full of judgmental people, I love to surround myself (on and offline) with open minded people.

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  31. Whatever meets one’s needs or wants is fine with me but like you I don’t want to hear how busy or how too busy one is. On the other hand I also do not want to hear how bored one is either. I love that sense of purpose and fulfillment.

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  32. Being busy has nothing whatsoever to do with the actually output of what you are creating, thus doing. Someone can be super busy, and be walking in circles. Someone else can be less busy, and have tremendous output. Business is a catch all for…

    I also want to note two things. You wrote, “something stretchy”, which is awesome, and people that are that busy and productive have their groceries delivered from the neighborhood market, not Amazon. Just sayin…

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  33. You are so right! I was shocked that someone would buy everything online. So what in the world are they so busy with? One has to wonder at the quality of their lives if they can’t handle the everyday tasks just to live, like cooking, (oh, they probably don’t cook, but order out for breakfast, lunch and supper!) raise kids, drive the car. Well said and surprising.

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  34. I don’t consider busy-ness as any sort of badge of honor. Hell, it’s something I’d rather avoid if possible. I think your friend might be confusing busy-ness with laziness. No offense to them, of course.

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  35. That end part is really what the issue is. Most people’s lives are not well balanced, and as a result, Uber Eats. That’s not to say I don’t order food every now and then, but usually it’s because of that stated reason…I don’t have the time to stop and make something or go get something, or I didn’t MAKE the time to be able to make something at home.

    I honestly can’t imagine ordering EVERYTHING online because I’m too busy to deal, but I do know quite a few people who do.

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    1. I have absolutely no issue with anyone who needs to source out stuff, or really do anything that makes their life easier. I do have issues with people bragging about their busyness, or wondering how I have time to do stuff without it all being sourced out

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  36. I can understand having groceries delivered during the height of Covid. My mom still does it because she is not able to walk through the store with her neuropathy. Some people discovered it and just like the fact they don’t have to deal with other people. I didn’t do it because I don’t like the idea of someone else picking out my produce or making substitutions when my first choice is not available. I wonder how this person would survive in many parts of Europe where people shop daily for their grocery ingredients. Busy? Yes. Retired for the most part but seem to still be busy sun up to sun down. Not sure about the quality of the “busy” but I’m mentally exhausted by the end of the day most of the time. 💜

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    1. I think we are all busy. And I have no problem getting help. But telling me how busy you are seems a tad disingenuous if you get my meaning…

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  37. I agree. I don’t how people are so busy they can’t go to the store and get a gallon of milk. I view these people as lazy. Not busy. It’s about priorities and using your brain. It’s about being active and looking at things. Don’t they want to get out of their homes and fend for themselves? I don’t understand.

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  39. You’ve hit the nail on the head! No wonder this remark gets up your nose. As you say, there are good ways to say you’re busy when it’s relevant. But they are all part of a 2-way conversation, as in “I’m busy now, I’ll do it later.” I also hate it when a friend holds back from contacting me because they think I’m too busy: that’s another good reason for never moaning or skiting about how busy you are! Here’s to balance and to books.

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  42. Pingback: Screw It, I’m Eating Tater Tots-Episode 37 (Birthday Month) – A Grace Full Life

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