5 seconds

How many of you have heard of the 5 second rule as it pertains to food?

The theory is that if you drop food on the ground, it’s OK to eat as long as you pick it up within five seconds. I won’t ask if you’ve ever eaten something you dropped on the floor, nor will I divulge if I ever did either…wink wink…

But let’s take the basis of the five second rule and adapt it a little…

If we are speaking to someone, should we wait five seconds before we respond? (contestants on game shows are obviously excluded)

I know my daughter has been told when in interviews, take a breath and then respond. Should our everyday conversations be much the same?

First off- how many people start talking before someone else has finished speaking? I’m raising my hand here because I TOTALLY am guilty of that. I don’t even give people the chance to finish because I am so ready to jump in and prove how right that I am…

I know that I need to learn to listen and pause…

But in general, do you think humans would be better off with a pause switch that can be activated during conversations?

Do you pause before you reply?

Does communicating via email/social media/text make it easier to weigh our responses, or do we still type out quickly and without thinking?

What do you think about taking a beat before you speak?

Shoes, Shoes and More Shoes

A few weeks ago one of my blog friends wrote about how many shoes she owned and we got into a discussion about what the “right” amount of shoes is. I’d read that the average woman owns 19 pairs of shoes and I, rather smugly, said that I had exactly 19 pairs of shoes. For some reason I thought it was a badge of honor that I was average in this category- I take some sort of weird pride in not owning too much of things.

Well, it turns out that I was wrong about the number of shoes that I own…

I actually own slightly more than 19 pairs…

I am a little annoyed that I own that many shoes and I was more annoyed that when I counted them out in my head without looking, I had shoes that I forgot I owned.

How do you forget shoes that you own? Doesn’t that mean that you don’t like them or wear them enough?

And are there shoes that I tend to wear more often? The theory is that the average woman owns 19 pairs, but really only wears four of them regularly.

Today, I am going to list all the shoes that I own, and we are going to figure out which ones to get rid of: (the shoes in bold are the ones I wear the most)

  1. knee high snow boots- practical and well made, but I haven’t worn much
  2. shorter snow books- furry lined, super waterproof, I find these are my go to boots when it snows small to medium, or when there is slush on the ground
  3. short black rain boots- It rains here and I walk a lot
  4. Gym sneakers- I wear these probably 350 days of the year
  5. waterproof hiking sandals- bought specifically for a vacation trip I don’t know how often I will use, but I don’t feel I should ditch them
  6. black suede pumas- My go to fall/winter shoe- though they are at least two years old and starting to wear inside and out
  7. white canvas sneakers- for some reason I don’t wear these much
  8. grey striped slip on sneaker- spring/summer staple
  9. black leather slip on sneaker- never seem to come out ahead of black pumas
  10. knee high suede boots- I wear these if I wanted to be “dressed” but the weather isn’t so great- starting to fray a bit
  11. knee high black leather boots– I love these boots
  12. grey faux snakeskin booties- these pinch at the toes a little and I think they are very 2018
  13. black leather booties- I love these but they only work with slacks which I don’t wear that often
  14. grey suede workboots- love these, but only work in late fall/winter and only go with leggings
  15. black mid calf moto boots– these go three seasons and are super comfortable and not polished leather so can be worn if weather is iffy
  16. black suede ballet flats– these are my spring and fall go to shoe
  17. block heel casual sandal- hmmm…why do I keep these?
  18. flat black casual sandal– love. love.love
  19. walking sandal (like a teva)- so easy to throw on and walk a lot
  20. low wedge dressy/strappy sandal with crystals – these are my new special occasion shoes and are supremely comfortable
  21. black furry lined slip on clogs– I wear these when writing, and when I’m wandering around the house
  22. pink fuzzy open toe slippers that I wear with my dressing gown (no fooling- very Nora Charles but no heel) they make me feel glam and adorable and I love them

So which shoes go?

Clearly I’m ditching the heeled casual sandal. Who am I kidding? I’m never walking anywhere in something with a heel. Especially casually.

And while I’m putting things in the give away bag, the faux snakeskin booties are going. Not worth it for the pain they cause.

The black suede knee high boots are also a toss because they are starting to fray and not worth repairing.

Black suede sneakers are a toss because they don’t have much life left. However, I can’t imagine not replacing them because I LOVE THEM.

I have to figure out why I don’t wear the slip on sneakers and the white canvas sneakers. I love the look of them so why don’t I put them on? I need to start wearing them.

I am pleased that I wear 50% of my shoes with regularity. And I’m happy that I really do love the majority of what I own.

But now it’s your turn-

How many shoes do you own, and how often do you wear them? Are there any shoes in your wardrobe that can be ditched? What are you sending to the donation pile? Which shoes can you just not get rid of?

FYI- I didn’t put in pictures because I was too lazy. If you want to see pictures of any of the shoes, comment and I will drop a picture on Sunday

What is wisdom…


I want to know.

When you hear the word wisdom, what do you think?

Our friends at Merriam-webster.com say its:

  1. ability to discern inner qualities and relationships: insight
  2. good sense: judgement
  3. generally accepted belief
  4. accumulated philosophical or scientific learning: knowledge
  5. a wise attitude, belief or course of action
  6. the teaching of the ancient wise men

Now let’s look at antonyms from thesaurus.com

  1. ignorance
  2. imprudence
  3. inability
  4. ineptness
  5. stupidity
  6. thoughtlessness

It’s all well and good to have definitions of things, but what do you think wisdom actually is? How do you define it?

If you had to give me a synonym or antonym, what word would you choose?

What do I think wisdom is?

Hmmm…that’s a really good question…

I think wisdom is the ability to look at something, to take away any biases that one may have, and see what is true and what is important. It’s to strip away the garbage, and figure out what the real lesson is and what matters the most, and what will be most important in the long run. To me, it’s more to do with insight. A wise person figures out what matters most. I think the opposite of wisdom most closely lies with ignorance.

Am I a wise person?

About some things, sure. About other things? Not even a small letter w makes it to the plate…but I am wise enough to know that I really know nothing in the scheme of things…I just talk a good game…



Definitions? Examples?


Author Bio

One of my book clubs is obsessed with finding out about the background of an author when we are reading a book. The first ten minutes of the meeting will be spent going over where they went to school, where they lived, what their family situation is.

I could care less.

I like to read a book for what is in between the front and back cover. I like the words included to tell me the story. I do not like to research the author afterwards. I don’t particularly care if the school in the book was similar to the authors school, or that the main character and the author both had two sisters. If I wanted to read the bio of the author I would have gone to their Wikipedia page and looked myself.

As a person who fancies herself a writer, I know that I bring things from my real life into my work- write what you know, as they say. I also know that when I’m writing fiction, I may not tell something the exact way that it happened, I may embellish or detract or just use one part of something. I might combine two people that I know into one character. And I guess I just wouldn’t want someone delving into my backstory and trying to figure out who did what to whom, so to speak…I want my words to be read as I created them in my head, not as a reader reading into anything that I put onto the page. And obviously, there are things I TOTALLY make up if I’m writing fiction, or I might overhear a conversation, or see someone on the street. My inspiration is everywhere- to try to figure out where I got an idea from seems silly. If I write a book, read the book– don’t dissect me personally.

Now I freely admit that I used to know a lot about the Bronte sisters (please don’t quiz me now though- I barely remember which one was Acton)- but that was only because they were the focus of my senior project. If you are studying an author I get that you must read about their lives and dissect them.

Do you like to read about the authors of books that you’ve read?


Do you finish a book and go “Next”?

Why or why not?

I would love a little background info on you-

What Inspired Me: 3/27/22

  • I was in Lancaster PA for a wedding this weekend. We got there early on Friday and got in a little history by visiting Wheatland- the home of President James Buchanan. Was surprised to see that Elton John played Franklin and Marshall College! Can you imagine being a kid at that show?! Those trunks are made by this luggage guy- Louis Vuitton- they belonged to Buchanan’s niece, who incidentally was the first person known as “First Lady”, though the newspapers didn’t use the term till Mary Todd Lincoln… Very interesting and if you appreciate old furniture, as I do, it’s quite well done.
  • Best friends daughters wedding=best wedding ever!!!!
  • While this is probably not the shawarma place that Iron Man referred
  • Brooklyn Botanic Garden is becoming a riot of color!!!
  • The Vietnamese food at Madame Vo is awesome!! The dish above is rice cakes with sausage and egg and all sorts of delicious!
  • Veselka is a Ukranian restaurant and mainstay in the East Village- we didn’t eat there this week but it’s worth going to for many reasons
  • Cherry Blossoms in DC- thanks to my daughter
  • Went to a gallery talk on Jacques Louis David- thought I don’t love the work, I did gain a new appreciation of how and why. Wonderful talk by the curator.- I just love the way that galleries 202 and 203 are situated!! Just beautiful!! I’m not really into swords, but the work on some of these cases was exquisite!!
  • This is my Oscar pool of who I think should win- I picked my fave from each category, but it is not necessarily who I think will win- Full disclosure that I saw every movie except for Writing with Fire (documentary full length)

Gratitude and Such: 3/26/22

Last weekend the daughter of one of my besties got married. It was the highlight of the decade by far…

My dog sitter bailed on me. At zero hour, the daughter of my other bestie said she would Betty sit.

I am grateful to have been invited to a day filled with love and laughter and friendship.

I am grateful for the kindness of friends.

I am grateful for having two of the best friends in the world!

If you need a prompt for mindfulness or journaling:


See Nature

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate Oprah Winfrey

The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen Lee Iacocca

My Month in Books and Movies- March 2022

MatrixLauren Graffliterary fiction/strong female characters/historical fiction1
The Kitchen FrontJennifer Ryanwomen’s fiction/historical fiction/strong female characters/friendship2
One Italian SummerRebecca Serlewomen’s faction/Mother-Daughter relationship/dealing with death/self discovery3
The Paris ApartmentLucy Foleypsych thriller/mystery4
The Book of TeaKakuzo Okakuranon fiction/Eastern philosophy5
The Ladies Midnight Swimming ClubFaith Hoganlight, friendship, things work out in the end, female power6
  1. Gorgeous language and vivid descriptions and words that you can get lost in. The point of this book isn’t so much in getting from point A to point B, but how the author does it. There is some depth to this, much to make you think about. I would not read this on the beach. Good for book clubs.
  2. This is a light read. However, I enjoyed it and thought it was an interesting look at how women survived WWII in England. Though the plot holds little surprise, I thought it was written without the usual cliched language.
  3. I like a good mother/daughter relationship book, and this one had some good moments. While some of it I thought was a bit “too much” on the whole I found this to be a pleasant, if not too exciting journey into a young woman discovering what is important in her life. I don’t think it’s good for book club.
  4. While this is something that would be considered a page turner, I was not flipping the pages at my usual rate. I did not love the main character, she was very blah to me, and this is the type of book that I think you need to like the protagonist in order to get into the book. Admittedly the last 80 pages was a decent roller coaster ride.
  5. There are parts of this book about tea and the ceremonies of that I thought were quite interesting and informative- some lovely insights. However, I detected a bias against Western philosophies. I don’t like to think of one as being better than another, or that any way is wrong, so there were parts of this book that I didn’t appreciate.
  6. This is so light you couldn’t even use it as a paperweight. This book is the equivalent to a very insipid Hallmark movie. I. Could. Guess. Everything. That. Was. About. To. Happen. If you need to shut your mind down and read, this is the ticket. If you want an actual book, keep searching.
MovieGenreWhere SeenRating
The BatmanDC comic/dark/dystopianTheater/AMC1
AtticaDocumentary/2022 Oscar NomineeAmazon Prime2
AutomatDocumentaryTheater/Film Forum3
The Outfitpsych drama/thrillerAMC4
After Yangdrama/sci fi/dystopianTheater/Quad5
Cyranodrama/musical/period/2022 Oscar NomineeTheater/AMC6
  1. I like my super hero’s dark, mysterious and on motorcycles…This is a dark, absorbing ride through Gotham. Beautifully filmed with gorgeous camera work. Pattinson was born to play the dark knight. At 3 hours, I felt it could have been a tad shorter, and I would have cut the ending which I felt gilded the lily…otherwise good for the genre.
  2. Straight up, no bells and whistles doc about the 1971 Attica uprising and aftermath. Well researched and executed. Disturbing however, so be prewarned…
  3. I love New York history and the automat was a very big part of that. I thought this was a light, fun doc that gave me some history of Horn & Hardart and the Automat. Fun clips from Mel Brooks and conversations with Carl Reiner, Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Colin Powell
  4. A very understated psych drama with some twists and turns. The whole story takes place in a tailor shop and I like movies that are able to contain the drama within a few rooms- very play like. Not for those who prefer lots of action.
  5. This movie straddles the line between dystopian and sci fi, yet with a very subtle feel. Probably too subtle because the point is kind of buried in dreamy imagery and an understated Colin Farrell.
  6. First thing I thought of was that Shakespearean monologues are very similar to rap. I know Cyrano was written by Rostand, but a monologue is a monologue. I fear Joe Wright may have watched Hamilton before directing this movie. One earworm of a song and a few pretty speeches by Dinklage does not a movie make. Second thing I thought was there’s a reason why Keira Knightly used to do period pieces- I find many actors are not cut out to play characters from any time but the present.
Documentary Short TitleRating
When We Were Bullies1
The Queen of Basketball2
Lead me Home4
Three Songs for Benazir5
Though I saw these at IFC theater in NYC, I think they can be streamed on either Netflix or HBO. These are the five 2022 Oscar nominees for Best Documentary Short.
Live Action Short TitleRating
Please Hold1
Ala Kachuu- Take and Run2
The Long Goodbye3
On My Mind4
The Dress5
These are the five 2022 nominees for Best Live Action short. I saw these at IFC in NYC and I am not sure if they are available to be streamed.

All By Myself

I tend to go to movies by myself.

Some people find this odd.

When I go to see a film by myself, I am totally absorbed into the film…I can sit exactly where I want…I can see whatever film I like no compromises… I feel that a movie is the one place I don’t need anyone to make conversation. The movie is on- there is no talking.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t go with other people- yesterday I saw a movie with a friend and I was glad I did because it was a movie that required a post movie discussion.

Going to the movies by myself is my number one self date…

Are there any things that you do by yourself that others may think that it’s odd to do solo?

What are your favorite self dates?

Are there things that you only like to do with others?


WordPress as Dating Sight

I don’t often get emails sent to my blog email, and when I do they are either asking a blogging question, asking for me to participate in something, or just telling me something they didn’t want to share over my blog. 99.9 % of the time they are just short, sweet and to the point….


I did get a fun one a few months back…

So this guy emails me. The first email was a continuation of whatever it was that appeared on my blog that day. I figured that as this guy (I assume) was a new reader, he wasn’t comfortable discussing in the open forum. Whatever. It was a nice email and I replied back…

Insert crossed eye emoji’s right here…

So the guy emailed my back and actually said:

I wish I hadn’t spent so much time working on my awesome body, and had spent more time learning things so I could converse with someone like you.”


Is this guy trying to hit on me and get me to send him suggestive emails?

Is this guy using this as like some form of longform tinder?

I deleted the email.

Now, I’ve gotten a good laugh about this, and a blog post, but I must ask:

Do people look at any form of social media as a way to begin, let’s just say…intimate relationships with people?

Are there people who find this sort of behavior attractive?

I’ve told you about the various conversations that people have attempted to have with me via insta…at least a few times a week I get a message from someone wanting to chat me up…

Is the way of the world now? Do people just want to have cyber sex with people? And if that’s the case…how do I get off that list? Does the randomness of internet dalliances with people you don’t know are actually the people you think they are really fulfill ones needs?

Can we go back to meeting people, finding out about them, and then begin relationships?

What do we think about the social media pick up?


There’s a somewhat modern parenting adage that states you should never actually say the word “No” to a child. Instead of no, you’re supposed to redirect their attention, or use other words to stop the child from doing whatever it is they’re doing. The theory is, if a kid keeps hearing the word NO, they will eventually tune it out and it will become meaningless. It also means that the child will look at the world as a place that can not be explored because you’re not allowed to do anything.

Ok- got the theory and thoughts behind it?

For the moment, let’s say that we all understand the concept of limiting the use of the word NO when it comes to parenting…

Can the concept itself be applied to other situations that don’t involve toddlers trying to put their fingers in a light socket?

If adults keep hearing the word “No” does it begin to lose it’s meaning?

Do we somehow want to do the things that we are told that we can’t do?

Do we resent people telling us what we can and can’t do?