Some people errantly think that forgiving shows weakness, that it lets the offender off the hook for whatever the misdeed was.
The people that think that way are quite misguided.
We forgive others so that we can get on with our lives. We forgive because holding on to the anger is stagnating.
If someone wronged you, and you hold on to that hurt, they still have power over you. Why do you want someone else to continue to have power over you?
I get that some things are unforgivable- that some wrongs are so egregious that you can’t for one second think about forgiving. And I’m not saying that you have to go up to that person and shake their hand and then have a coffee. You don’t ever have to tell the person that you forgive them. You can keep that forgiveness a secret between your head and your heart. I’m saying that in your heart you should just remember that what’s done is really done, and all the hostility that you’re holding in your heart should be pushed away to make room for something better, something that will make you more whole than you are right now.
There’s a statute of limitations on how long you can blame someone else. Ask yourself if you are living the best life that you can, or if you are letting the actions of others drag you down. Does it really make you feel better to blame someone else?
It’s for you.
Allow yourself to let it go and move on.