Is It Ethical

My daughter goes to a University with a core curriculum. One of her required units is a section of philosophy and a section of ethics. Currently she is taking ethics. (FYI- she said this 100 level class is kicking her ethical butt, way more than her 400 level classes)

She often tells me about the “problems” the teacher poses- like do people have the right to own chickens. (as it’s become very popular to keep chickens now, some townships are making laws about who can and can’t have chickens) I thought this was an interesting question and even though I don’t plan on writing about it- feel free to comment about it…

Another interesting topic is “Fake Humans of &^%^$# College”

As some of you know there’s a really popular website called Humans of, where a journalist would conduct random person on the street interviews and include them on Insta or a website. Now people are riffing off this: Colleges and universities have UNOFFICIAL accounts where they take a picture of a random person on campus and then make up a story about this person and post it online.

Where do we stand on taking a picture of a person and, without their knowledge or consent, and posting it on a website.

With the use of CCTV and everyone taking pictures continually, is there any sense of privacy anymore?

Do we give up our right to privacy every time we walk out the door?


You Can Say It

I was on the bus…

The setting was weekday, midday, so the bus wasn’t too crowded- maybe fifteen or so people. There was a woman sitting towards the front of the bus, talking very loudly to her friend.

Very Loudly. I was across the aisle and back about four rows and I could hear her loud and clear. Over the bus noise. Over the traffic. Over my airbuds playing my Chilling playlist…

The woman was a member of a minority group. And she was talking very loudly about members of another minority group. Very loudly. And very negatively.

Very negatively.

She was saying some really nasty stuff- many stereotypes. Many insults.

She was sitting under this sign…

She was sitting under the sign that specifically tells us that there is no place for hate on our transit system.

Does signage like this actually help anyone see the light about the thoughts that run through there heads and out their mouths?

Can you change someone’s mind just by “reminding” them?

Or are people going to do what people want to do and not listen to what any person, or any sign, says?

Did this woman think she wasn’t doing anything wrong because she wasn’t physically attacking anyone? Did she think she wasn’t doing anything wrong because she wasn’t saying these things to an actual member of the minority group that she was maligning?

How do you think we get rid of hate both in our transit systems and in the world?

What Inspired Me: November 28

  • Julia is a fun documentary if you like food, celebrity chefs and Julia
  • Soothr is a Thai restaurant in the East Village, and the feeling is supposed to be one of home and comfort. It totally succeeds. My chicken khao soi was rich and textured and delicious. The cocktails are all named after jewels, and they give the story, but I was so busy looking at all the plates around me that I kinda sorta forgot.
  • French toast filled with marscapone and apples and some candied bacon on the side and yum…
  • Mrs. Doubtfire on Broadway was cute. Cute means wonderful for someone under ten. Which means…don’t bother.
  • I admit that I am normally drawn to the same works of art or antiquities that everyone else is. There are things just universally beautiful or interesting. but occasionally I stumble on something like the shepherd, and its dedication to Pan
  • Gallery 153 at the Met is just a beautifully orchestrated room. It’s one of the galleries that brings me peace. Would be nice if no one else knew about it thought…
  • Gifts From the Fire: American Ceramics from the Collection of Martin Eidelberg Gallery 773 closing 10/16/22
  • I saw Eternals (newest Marvel) in the theater. You will be eternally grateful that I told you to pass this one by.
  • Marks off Madison is by husband’s new favorite neighborhood place. As seen by my delicious French dip sandwich (FYI- that’s a half, and I couldn’t finish that. Portions not only yum, also huge)
  • The Frick has a temporary home on Madison Avenue. They don’t allow you to take pictures, but they did have a postcard of my favorite painting in the collection.
  • Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade Balloon Inflation. What the balloons look like mid inflation. And How do you not love Baby Yoda!!! And Snoopy!

Gratitude Saturday: November 27

My Mom told me I should use a different color eyebrow pencil- the one I was using is apparently too dark…

Isn’t every 57 years old woman grateful when her Mother tells her what kind of make up she should wear?

I am grateful that I wrote a post about parents giving advice this week- made me see the situation with a little bit of humor.

I am grateful for my dark brown eye pencil because I like it.

My Month in Books- November

BookAuthorHow I heard about BookRating
Cloud Cuckoo LandAnthony DoerrCollege Book Club choice1
The Man Who Died TwiceRichard OsmanRead author before2
Major Pettigrew’s Last StandHelen Simonsonbuilding book club choice, Re read3
GhostsDolly AldertonEW, Good Housekeeping4
Just Haven’t Met You YetSophie CousensBN Recommendation5
Rock Paper ScissorsAlice FeeneyGoodreads List6
The Paper PalaceMiranda Cowley HellerBN Book club,Goodreads List, Real Simple, Reese’s Book Club7
This is the order in which I LIKED the books- doesn’t really reflect how good a book is, or isn’t. The blurbs below correspond the book number in the 4th column.
  1. The good news: I loved this book. The bad news: It took be about 150 pages to get into the story and understand what was going on. Good for book clubs as there are many layers to this novel. Very different than other popular book by Doerr, but expertly written. A writers writer.
  2. Cozy mystery done really well. Fun and light, if that’s your thing. And refreshing to see characters of a certain age be full of life and wisdom and taking an active part in life. Clever and understated, but I wouldn’t read it for book club. It’s just an enjoyable read.
  3. Second time I read this book. Loved it this time as much as I did when I first read it. And who doesn’t love a second chance at love just when everyone said you were too old. Can be compared to Pride and Prejudice for a variety of reasons, so if you’re a fan of that, give this a go. Good for book clubs.
  4. The word feminism is used ten times throughout this book. I wish the author had included a definition, because the book “says” one thing but “does” another. Author tries to explain away the obvious problem with a throwaway paragraph. Author needs to get reality check. Or accept that they want to write a love story. Enough with the woe is me I’m 30 and dating is so hard because men want a younger woman. Get over yourself. But, book was well written and different so kudos there. And seriously- look up the definition of baby boomer while you’re at it.
  5. Perfectly fine, light rom com. It is exactly what you expect when you want something of this genre. Good for beach or plane/train ride, but not for much else.
  6. Psychological Drama- including all the twists and turns you can imagine- Yet somehow, I’m not sure if there wasn’t just one too many twists and turns. How do we know the difference between just right and overkill. If these type books are your thing, it’s worth a read. If you’re a casual reader of the genre you can probably pass.
  7. This book is trying so hard to say how lousy men are, while simultaneously making men the hero time after time. Figure out what you’re trying to say and then write the book. Not a bad read if you like melodramatic sagas. I don’t like melodramatic sagas. I’m guessing if you like Colleen Hoover you will like this one. If someone tells you it’s good for book club, they’re wrong. It’s one, log flat note.


I am thankful for:

  • Metropolitan Museum of Art
  • Brooklyn Botanic Garden
  • Brooklyn Museum
  • Roundabout Theater Company
  • Carnegie Hall
  • Film Forum
  • Angelika
  • AMC Kips Bay
  • Barnes and Noble
  • Union Square Farmers Market
  • lists of foods I need to try
  • Cheeseburgers at Pastis
  • Ramen at Totto
  • Dry Chicken Pot at Han Dynasty
  • Champagne Cocktails anywhere they serve them
  • Molasses Ginger Cookie at Citycakes
  • Orchid Show
  • Christian Dior Exhibit
  • Books
  • Reading
  • fuzzy covered hot water bottle
  • mug warmer
  • my planner
  • inspirational quotes
  • my journal
  • my little pink notebook that I carry everywhere
  • my camera
  • best, worst grateful book
  • text and email
  • My People

Thank you for being part of my life!!

Happy Day!!!

Can Moms Help It

When my Daughter finally got back to campus in August, she had a lot of readjusting to do. She was living with roommates and not parents. She was adjusting to doing things in person once again, and she had a lot on her plate. Plus, COVID still had restrictions all over the place with certain things.

Her schedule included five classes, and one class that required her to go to an elementary school to observe onsite. She had an internship. Part time job. Deputy editor at the paper. At least two other clubs she was an active member. Some sort of scholar program. Homework. And President of a volunteer organization that wasn’t able to recruit new members last year because it wasn’t able to be done virtually, and they were still unsure of the status this year as to whether the university students would be allowed to go onsite to actually do the volunteering, and seemed like it was going to be an organization of three.

So August was a tad stressful for my daughter.

I was on the phone with her one morning as she explained everything to me. I heard her voice rise about five octaves. I made a suggestion about something.

One suggestion about one thing after she regaled me with tales of all the above things I mentioned, the stress clearly coming through on the phone.

I said one thing…

She bit my head off. Told me that she was an adult. Told me that my making the suggestion was making her more stressed. Told me I needed to butt out and not meddle.

OK fine. I dropped it.

Later that day, I was standing on the subway platform.

Young woman, late twenties probably, was waiting for the train, which was six minutes away.

Woman gets a phone call.

Woman: Hi Mom.

Woman: Yeah the apartment was really nice.

Women: Well, it’s a little small but…

See her walking in circles

Women: No its not a shoebox it’s…

She starts to tap her foot

Women: No there isn’t a window in the bathroom or kitchen but…

looking down track waiting for train to appear quicker

Women: But Mom it’s the best apartment I’ve found

runs her hand through her hair distractedly

Women: Yes I would love an apartment with big closets and lots of windows but…

look of pure distress

Women: But Mom...

exasperated sigh

Women: Oh Mom- there’s the train. Need to go.

She shuts her phone and waits three more minutes for train.

So my question is: Do Mom’s always try to give unneeded or unwarranted advice? Is it just hardwired into being a Mom?

Can we just not help ourselves?

Do Mothers always feel they need to tell there children what to do? Is it worse with Mothers and Daughters?

Follow Me Follow You

I was at someone’s house a few years ago. We sat on the island stools in her well appointed kitchen looking into her beautiful open floor plan family room in her lovely home.

Her: I really need to redo this kitchen

Me: Why. This is beautiful and in perfect shape

Her: Because all my friends have redone their kitchens and they’re all white and pretty and I want that too

Me: stares blankly into the abyss of suburban home ownership…

What do you think about jumping on the bandwagon to follow a trend?

Now before you answer, I want you to really think about that. Do you own anything that you bought based on other people having it?

Do you own anything that was bought because it would make others envious, or because you thought it would give you status?

Do you have opinions on things strictly because people “in the know” have them? A few weeks ago someone said that they like receiving the voter packets because they want to know what “their side” wants them to do.

See why I’m not so much for following the herd?

Do you ever follow the herd?

Now let’s contrast that: What’s the difference between following the herd and following the rules?

In a world where rules/laws are meant to protect others, what do we say about those who don’t follow them?

I know I get annoyed when people don’t pay for mass transit. My Husband is a jaywalker of the first order and it drives me CRAZY. (Is it a law yet that we can’t say the word “crazy”?)

People who cheat on their taxes.



Illegal drugs, or those who get drugs illegally.

What do we think about those who break rules?

Is it OK because some rules are stupid?

Without law, can there be order?

Are there times when we break the rules because we want to follow the herd?


Can I Be Offended

A few months ago my daughter and I attended an exhibit at Brooklyn Museum: Maximum Sensation by Mounir Fatmi.

This installation is by a Moroccan born artist named Mounir Fatmi and it is called “Maximum Sensation”. The textiles you see are contemporary copies of traditional prayer rugs that you can buy at Moroccan markets. The combination of skateboarding culture and prayer rugs made as commodity makes a certain point important to all of Fatmi’s work. As he writes in his artist statement: My work “deals with the desecration of religious object, deconstruction and the end of dogmas and ideologies.”

Brooklyn Museum Website

The exhibition was of a bunch of skateboards covered in the cheap prayer rugs.

Even though I know the intent of the artist, directly from his brain, I still didn’t feel comfortable about this exhibit. I still felt it was not necessarily in the best taste to put prayer rugs on skateboards, no matter the cost or background of these rugs, or what the point is.

My daughter said that I don’t have the right to be offended because I am not Muslim. She said I should view it as art and a political statement, as which it was intended, not as a direct affront to a religion.

So where do we fall on this? Should we look at something strictly as art, no matter what it’s mocking or what its point is?

Is being offensive part of art, or art movements?

In theory, the artist certainly made a point with me. I am going to remember this exhibit far more than other things that I thought were pretty or serene or fun. This exhibit will stick. But does that make it good or right?

What if I hadn’t read the fine print of the exhibit, as most tend to do? What if I just saw it- no explanation. Would I be justified in being upset or angered? FYI- I have a post in the pipeline about explanations and art work. I’m still forming an opinion, so expect more on this soon.

But…to my original point:

What is the threshold for being offended by something that is not akin to your culture?

What Inspired Me: November 21

  1. Jasper Johns: Mind/Mirror The Whitney. This is a pretty comprehensive view of his work, curated very well. There is a companion exhibit in Philly that I would love to see too. Just an amazing career. Diver intrigued me the most as it was inspired by the suicide of poet Hart Crane- just sad and touching.
  2. My Barbarian- Whitney. This is one of those installation pieces that I just don’t understand at all. Also not sure if I care enough about it. (closes 2/27/22)
  3. Labyrinth of Forms: Women and Abstraction 1930-1950. This was a small but well curated exhibit. Glad they highlighted some women artists that often get overlooked. Of course there was one Lee Krasner…but that’s OK because the description didn’t mention her partner- she was allowed to be listed as an artist in her own right…
  4. Amazing to walk through Central Park and see the beautiful autumn colors, and then smack into holiday displays on Fifth Avenue
  5. NY Doc Festival: You know I love a film festival and I love shorts, so I was thrilled to see Shorts: New York, New York and the films: All Riders, The Andrew Yang Show, Flatbush! Flatbush!, When we Were Bullies. Also got to hear representatives of each film discuss the work. I always love to hear about the creative process of a film from someone who was there. Of course, hearing one of the speakers talk about their film as well as the film itself is going to be a blog in a few months. Inspiration everywhere…
  6. I was invited (through Roundabout Theater Company where I am a subscriber) to see an advance screening of The Humans. I saw his as a play on Broadway a few years back and it was wonderful. I saw this as a movie in the theater and it was less than wonderful. I think it’s often hard to film a successful play, even when in the hands of the playwright. But, it was cool to see writer/director Stephen Karam introduce the film.
  7. The tag line of Simo Pizza is: 90 Seconds to Napoli, because once the pizza is made, it’s only in the oven for 90 seconds. What you get is a tender, slightly chewy crust and the topics perfectly melded. Yum. If you’re going to The Whitney, this is conveniently located across the street.
  8. Belfast. SEE THIS MOVIE. Seriously- see this movie. I can’t imagine there will be a better film out this year. It has automatically jumped up to my internal list of best movies ever. Bravo.
  9. And- you must listen to soundtrack from Belfast. Van Morrison and Everlasting Love. Need I say more?
  10. Betty’s new trick is to pathetically wait next to my desk chair so that I pick her up and put her on the chair with me while I’m writing…
  11. Met- gallery 151 holds Minoan Gems, which served as seals to identify ownership before literacy became widespread. Thought that was really interesting. Also saw new pieces in the Masters and Masterpieces: Chinese Art from the Florence and Herbert Irving Collection. Just beautiful pieces.
  12. I love a cocktail bar. I like to sit in a dimly lit room, on a banquette or uber comfy bar stool and drink an overly expensive but well crafted cocktail. Thyme did not disappoint on any level. And look at how pretty the drinks are! Also, watching the bartender make the drinks was magic- they did this pour from one vessel to another and I can’t remember what it was called (talk about a time when I needed my notebook!) but Wow…go for the drinks and stay for the entertainment.
  13. TV- Just started Squid Games- why oh why am I so intrigued!?!?
  14. Going to mention The Comfort Book by Matt Haig. I only read a page a day so it could take me awhile to finish, but it’s the perfect little note to savor before bed, or when you first wake up, or anytime.