It’s time to play catch up-

I have had a stressful few weeks.

About ten days ago my Dad was admitted to the hospital. Some of you may know that he has cancer. One cancer was diagnosed pre covid- one diagnosed during early COVID. I’m guessing you don’t want to hear my spiel about how people with anything other than COVID were treated back in early 2020…

But anyway- my Father was feeling weak. My Mother brought him to ER. They admitted him to hospital and he’s still there. The cancer is reacting well to treatments- but his body is still out of whack- levels and numbers and such not where they should be.

This is a tad stressful. Add to this that my Mother, (the worst kind of control freak- the one who totally dominates but doesn’t think she is a control freak) doesn’t really know what’s going on, or isn’t telling me what’s going on…Plus- she’s surprisingly calm. My Mother doesn’t do calm. What’s up with that?

So I’m worried about my Dad. Confused by my Mom.

And amidst all this, I am trying to get my Daughter ready to be dropped off at college.

Do you know how stressful helping a college student pack is?

And the mindset?

This is like when she was a Freshman all over again. She’s been back home from college longer than she was actually at college…

And packing all her stuff in a little car leaving room for the three passengers and the dog….(yes the dog because my Mom was supposed to watch the dog but now that’s impossible). I will say that I am a packing Goddess…No one can believe that I got all my daughter’s stuff into the car…

So to say that I am stressed is a little bit of an understatement…

Add to this some issues with people I know- differences of opinion, sick children, medical stuff, etc….

But at least I can say that I got my daughter off to college…

But on the way to college we stopped off to see my Dad in the hospital…wait…Medical Center…(Did you notice that they are all called medical centers now) My Mom gave us the name of the place and his room number.

What she neglected to tell us was that there are two different locations…

So we got to location A, went through the entire COVID protocol to find that we were at the wrong place…

We did end up finding the right place and saw my Father…

And then our merry little band made it’s way to DC- stopping a few times for the dog…

We wound around the DC streets and found her dorm, and a parking spot- my daughter went and retrieved her key…

Her dorm apartment is actually quite nice. Of course I have a story though…..

Her dorm meets up with another dorm, kind of, and they share a courtyard. it’s a confusing lay out. When she moved in it took her a few minutes to figure out where to go. She concluded that the elevator was for the adjacent dorm.

Which meant we had to walk up three flights of stairs with her things. (When I say “we” I really mean my Husband and Daughter- I walked up once with her belongings, and once with haul from Target- they did the other eight trips. And BTW- she lives in a duplex and of course her bedroom is on the second floor…

Yesterday my Daughter calls me. Turns out the elevator she saw DOES INDEED go to her floor- you just have to walk down a hallway through a door…

My Dad remains in the hospital. My daughter is finished with orientation counselor training and is about to greet the Class of 25…

I dusted my daughter’s room at home, which I don’t think she ever did, and made it a work space for my Husband on the two days a week he continues to work from home.

My Sister comes to town to see my Dad…

And I really need a day to just sit down and stare at the wall…

But I’m not there quite yet…

94 thoughts on “Anything Can Happen Friday: The Past Two Weeks”

  5. You’re the one who is home 7 days a week – why not prepare your daughter’s room for you? YOU deserve too. Pleased to hear that at least your daughter is moving onwards and upwards with her studies. That’s a positive:) Time to take care of L A who has been busy taking care of everyone else, I would suggest.

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  7. That’s a big bunch of stress. Hope your dad can get out of hospital soon and you can find a small amount of relief and time to decompress. Maybe consider a lock on the outside of the bedroom door for those days when husband is still at home working… Take care.

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  10. It’s a lot. And it’s probably good that your mother is stepping up and staying calm. Maybe telling people that you’re taking a day off would help. A walk in Central Park. A little lunch somewhere you’ve been meaning to try. A bunch of flowers just because. It will all work out, but I know the waiting can be hard…

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  12. That’s a lot….all at once. I’m sending you lots of love. I can’t imagine how you must have felt going through all of that with your father (and mother). I hope this week is a little easier for you and that you can catch your breath. 🙂

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  15. Wow, what an adventure, and may I put a twist on your store? It is super stressful when you get your 5 mins to decompress, have a tea and catch your breath be sure to be thankful you have them all in your life and you could have that adventure. Not everyone can.

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  17. I’m genuinely pleased to hear your daughter is returning to college…………….I’ve said many times (to anybody who cares to listen lol), vaccination would be the only exit from this awfulness, now all we need is a September booster and we’ll be set for Winter! 🙂

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  19. Yep, that’s a lot. Best of wishes to your dad; and all the best to your daughter, who will do great, by the way; and for you? Remember, we are only as good as we can be for and to other people, when we have the time we need to stare at the wall, sit down and be quiet, go for a walk, etc. If you can, try to get some time for you. Important. 💙

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  20. You have every right to be stressed. In life everything seems to happen at once, doesn’t it?

    I’m really sorry about your Dad. Cancer sucks. There’s no way around it. Not knowing his type of cancer I can’t comment on his placement in a center or your mother’s apparent calm behavior . Only that everyone handles a cancer diagnosis differently. I have family and friends who are concerned and actively involved in my treatment and other people who can’t deal with my diagnosis at all. So they act like nothing is wrong. Which seems odd but that is how they act. I have one very close friend who mails me little things to let me know she cares but she can’t seem to call or talk to me. She can’t handle that I’m sick. Perhaps your mother just feels she needs to compartmentalizations her feelings, or she feels relief that his treatment isn’t all on her shoulders and if he’s in a center she can relax a bit. Who knows. Everyone deals with cancer differently. One of my sons worries a lot more, the other who lives locally, takes me to appointments and treatments but he can’t deal with me being in pain or suffering. So he’s very matter of fact. Sometimes He’s a bit emotionally removed and That’s how he deals. Your mom sounds like she might be blocking things out to cope better. People cope the best way they can.

    Getting your daughter back to school is another stressful situation because it’s always challenging to say goodbye again. I hated it each time I had to part with either of my kids and because of the pandemic you’ve been put together for a long time. And now it’s like the first time all over again. That is rough! It’s gotta hurt.

    So just know your readers are here for you. You can let it all out and we’ve got your back. Take care. Xoxo

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    1. Thank you! My dad actually came home…that’s a whole story! He was diagnosed with prostate about two years ago. Then in April 2020 he was thought to have lung, but it took forever to get a biopsy and start treatment. (Lung was a primary…not related to other cancer) he’s responding well to getting rid of cancer, but you know how the treatment can often be worse than the disease….and that’s the part that’s been tough

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  22. Oh, hugs to you for all the stresses! LOL that it didn’t take long for you to transform your daughter’s room again. It didn’t take me that long either when mine went. Good luck to her in school. Hopefully she can stay there the whole year! Holding your family in my prayers.

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  34. Indeed, it sure does sound like you’ve had a very busy and stressful time lately. I hope things calm down for you soon. Prayers for your dad for sure. I happen to be a 30 year survivor of Stage IV Hodgkin’s lymphoma …..so, I can relate to some of that. Obviously I do not know your mother or her beliefs, but, in regards to your confoundment over her uncharacteristic calmness during a crisis of sorts, she may be exercising faith. One of the principle blessings that God promises us if we walk closely with Him, trust Him wholeheartedly and call upon Him is the supernatural ability to still experience peace and joy……even in the midst of chaos and calamity. Maybe that’s where she’s at. 🙂

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      3. Back again to yet another comment I made on a different previous post. You never know what’s going on under surface.
        This applies to my feeling that you’ve been a little “snitty” lately with some of your thought and discussion provoking posts. Now I understand why, that it was your reaction to all the stressful situations you’ve been dealing with lately. As someone who has been going through something similar myself I also noticed that’s how I deal with stress too, sometimes, knowing that those of who love me, and/or have dealt with similar situations themselves, will understand and not judge. Therefore I apologize for sort of judging.
        My situation, like yours, has calmed down a bit, finally. Even given that, though, I still find myself feeling stressed sometimes when I’m in the middle of my own self care, waiting for the other shoe to drop, which unfortunately it has a time or two. Bottom line, then, for all of us a good part of the time, is just to take it one month/week/day/minute at a time!
        Here’s hoping the respite from your stress inducers lasts a good long time!

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  37. OH MY, that is too much to deal with at once. Thinking you may have almost thought that you were going to join your Dad at the hospital, just maybe in a rubber room. 🙂 Really glad your Dad is OK now and out of the hospital, I am reading your posts backwards, LOL! . Hope your daughter has an Awesome year and LOL at her realizing about the elevator after you all moved her in. Now please treat yourself to something to RELAX!

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  38. Boy, I am playing catch up with reading people’s posts. You DO have a lot on your plate! It seems to me, though, that you are still able to have a positive outlook which is really cool. I’ll have to pay attention about hospitals being called medical centers. Oh! I can relate oh too well about the controlling mother and the denial! Thank you!

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  39. LA,
    I’ll trade you one controlling mother for one out-of-control father! I know you’ve got a lot going on. I’m glad your daughter is settled in. I hope all goes well for your dad. I also hope you get a chance to do nothing for a while and decompress before you have to get back at it. Botanic gardens sound like a perfect place!

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      1. I finally went for the anti-anxiety meds but it took me several days to realize I wasn’t sleeping well and that I could do something about it! Obviously the remedy of last resort but the necessary choice given that I thought this stressor had dissipated but turned out I was wrong. Talk about disappointment and cause for rise in stress and anxiety yet again. And again, I hope that doesn’t happen to you, especially re your dad in particular and your parents in general. Fingers crossed!

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