My former Primary Care Physician (PCP) retired a few years ago.
I was very lax in replacing them.
March health scare…
Made decision to take better care of my health…
Got recomend for new PCP…
Made appointment…
Up to speed?
So I go to my new PCP’s office…
And I waited for awhile…
and when the Doctor finally found their way to me, the exam was less than brief…
I felt rushed and uncomfortable, and I said this to them…
And they responded:
Don’t you know who I am?
and I simply said- Yeah- the PCP that my vestibular therapist recommended…
And they spent an additional five minutes with me…
And when I left the office their assistant said-
You really don’t know who that is?
Because it turns out this Doctor is sort of famous- they appear on a cable show as the in house medical expert…and they’ve written books…and they’ve been on the commitees dealing with certain pandemics…
But really, does that matter when I want to be treated as a patient?
So my doctor is a bit of a pompous ass…
However…
They have been more thorough than any Doctor I have ever had, or that I’ve seen from what family and friends have experienced. They knew what tests to order, what specialists to recommend, and got me started in the right direction. We still don’t have all the answers, but at least I feel like I’m getting somewhere.
So here’s the question- I don’t like that this Doctor is particularly cocky, but if the Doctor gets results, is it worth it?
I know the perfect Doctor is one who cares and one who is good, but if you can’t find the perfect combo, what path do you choose?
Do you think all Doctor’s are created equal? Or are some better than others?
What do you think about Doctors?
I’d find another doctor. This relationship is about you, not him and his ego. I’ve been to fools like him and don’t like their attitude. I left more then one doctor because of this. There are plenty of other docs out there.
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I haven’t ruled that out. However, this doctor is way more thorough than other docs I’ve been to. If they help me, I figure I only put up with them once or twice a year
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I will apply what I once said at work about a new employee – I would rather work with a competent asshole than a pleasant idiot.
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See…that’s sort of my thought. My old PCP was nice but ehhh
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I would find another PCP immediately. A physician who asks, “Do you know who I am?” is a pompous ass, yes. However, this arrogance and condescension will manifest itself in other ways in caring for patients, which is worse. He should stay where he belongs, pontificating on TV where people can pretend to adore him. He should not subject patients to his self-importance.
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So far, the doctor is better than any doctor I’ve had. Very thorough and knows what tests, specialists, etc.
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I cannot see a doctor if I do not care for them.
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I go for who’s the best in treating me. If I get answers I’m ok
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“So my doctor is a bit of a pompous ass…”. Thank you for todays laugh 🙂
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😉
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“Don’t you know who I am?” Good god, what an ass. Honestly I think you’re selling yourself short LA. You’ve responded to others that getting answers quickly makes it okay to be treated this way. I get that you’re frustrated with all the ear crap, but you deserve someone who sees and hears you and will know you. It doesn’t matter how good this person is, or thinks they are. I suspect you are simply just another body to them, one to tick off the “I cured another one” list.
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I admit I think he’s an ass. However, as tater said competent ass better than happy idiot. Im finding out things other doctors should have told me years ago. And every specialist he’s referred me to have been superb. Im not saying I won’t switch. Yes he’s got bleh bedside manner, but he’s taking my questions and ailments very seriously and is really listening to what I’m telling him. Not blowing off my concerns at all.
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What Deb said!!!
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😉
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He lost me at “don’t you know who I am.”
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I’ll never for get the original phrase from the Movie Jerry McGuire. IMO, one of the greatest movies ever made. I don’t know if the writer, Cameron Crowe, created it or not. The phrase comes near the end where Renee Zellweger says, “You had me at hello.”
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YES.
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😉
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If you are not comfortable with that doctor-find a new one. I had a similar situation where a new doctor sort his time talking at me while he was busy in his phone. I walked out and refused to pay.
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I get it. I haven’t decided what I’m doing yet
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If the doctor is giving you good care, his personality doesn’t matter, in my opinion. However, anyone who tells me “Do you know who I am?” I tend to shy away from. It reminds me of a story when I was in PR. I was told by my boss to go with the photographer at a nearby Country Club to get a shot of a foursome. Don Drysdale, Chuck Connors (from the Rifleman TV show) and two other guys were playing. I was interviewing them and one guy kept saying “Do you know who I am?” No. I didn’t. I came back to the PR office and the boss said “That’s George Brett! Don’t you know who he is?”
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Yeah….I get that. My mom used to sell skincare at a department store. Some famous actress from the 60s came in and didn’t understand why the 25 year old sakes clerk didn’t know who she was…
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Thats funny. The firm I worked for put on the Bob Hope Classic golf tournament. I had just moved to Palm Springs from WA and Rick Dees secretary called and said Rick wanted to play in the tournament. I said, “It’s too late.” Then she called back two more times. I knew the tournament was starting in a few days and all the coordinating was done. Also I didn’t know who Rick Dees was. Rick called me himself. He asked, “Don’t you know who I am?” I said no. He asked to talk to my boss and got in the tournament. Years later I ran into him and he remembered me! We laughed about it.
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😉
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I have had good ones and bad ones, but one of my last ones really gave me a crappy attitude towards the whole and I’ve struggled to find the motivation to pick out a new one for myself, even though I REALLY need to get settled in with one soon. I would have struggled with your doctor as that attitude is ridiculous. I don’t care how famous or good at their job a person is. If you are treating patients, each and every one you choose to treat deserves your time and full attention, especially because they are paying for that time and attention. If you can’t do that, you need to rethink seeing patients.
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Agree with all that. But if you get results, and results with health is important…I’m still mulling
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Nope. Seems his head is big now. Not the doc I would want girl. 🙂
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I get that
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I think arrogance is a dangerous trait in any profession. Confidence is important of course but there is a difference. I say this as a eminently humble pilot of course…
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😉
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The fact he would ask, don’t you know who I am, shows what a pompous ass he is. But I get the hesitation in dumping him for someone with more suitable bedside manners. Getting answers to your health issues might be more important than his accolades.
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I’m leaning towards, if he’s helping me, and recommends great people (which he has) he’s worth it
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I would go for competent and try to find middle ground, if I can’t I would keep searching for a doctor that embodies both…
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Right now, he’s quarterbacking all the stuff…his instincts are good
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Nope- they are normal human beings with a medical degree and depending on age some experience.
Not one is perfect, cocky is something I wouldn’t stand for no matter what oh la la tv shows and consultation work they do. Results help, knowledge helps, but bedside (or office) manner is above all other things important. At least that is from my perspective. I have had the best and worse doctors from the US Gov. to civilian to now Dutch. It can be like playing the lottery on when you get the one that is a great combination. Best wishes.
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Thank you! Yeah…finding the perfect doctor is a crap shoot….who knows what you’ll roll
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Oh boy! Doctors! I don’t like cocky doctors but I hate inept doctors more. As someone who has had both kinds and is currently being treated by a brilliant oncologist I’d go for the better doctor, even if he’s a jerk. I’ve gone to the same GP for more than 20 years and I failed to recognize when he got too old and should have retired. I was comfortable with him. . He misdiagnosed me as having diverticulitis when I had ovarian cancer. It was his nurse practitioner who referred me to having the right tests and I eventually found my amazing doctor/ surgeon. I wonder if I had been referred sooner would my cancer been stage two not stage three. Who knows. Fortunately I am now with a relatively young (early 40’s) and brilliant oncologist who is renown in his field. I was fortunate that my Gynocogist referred me to him. He’s both kind, straight forward, and works with patients to individualize their treatment. I love the guy. He’s to the point and doesn’t pull any punches either. But most importantly he’s good and aware of the latest advancements in his field.. And he saved my life. Id be dead if I was still listening to my GP who said I just had diverticulitis. So id go with the most knowledgeable physician. You don’t have to love the guy. Not if he heals you.
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That’s along the lines of my thinking too. Gruff and knowledgeable still makes for a good doctor.
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Yep. If he can solve your medical mysteries who cares if he thinks he’s awesome. As long as he’s an expert in his field you’ll get good care.
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Whoa! Those are loaded questions. I love my doctor. He’s good at what he does, but sometimes I have to yell at him to get him to listen to me. He too is thorough, but I feel I’m in and out in five minutes. But in the end I am healed. I don’t know. I guess you just have to trust your gut. Do you want him to be your friend and ask about your kid? Probably not. The personal touch is nice, but I’d rather have someone that knows his stuff even though he is a bit arrogant.
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That’s a good point…what is your expectation of the doctor and the treatment?
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Well, imagine how he felt when you said, “No, I don’t.”” Not quite as famous as he thinks, right? I think the bottom line is that you are getting better care AND that you need to continue to stick up for yourself if he starts to go too fast. Side note, I understand the purpose of being gender neutral but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to referring to a single person as “they.”
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I hate it. Hate it…the gender neutral thing…
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Medicine is not an exact science.
That’s why physicians ‘practise’ medicine.
A good physician needs to be humble, since they need The Great Physician to help them.
Hopefully this doctor will give you the excellent care that you deserve. 🌷🤗
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Thank you. Here’s hoping!
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It’s really fantastic and inspiring and
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I have a high opinion of doctors, but I haven’t dealt with any like yours. John’s dad was a pediatrician and allergist — one of the first allergists in Brooklyn. He was a very ethical man, so we met only doctors of that caliber through him. Since he died, we’ve had one that we were disappointed in. As it turned out, that doctor disappeared and no one ever found out what happened to him. The doctors we’ve had in NC have been superb. I know there are selfish, careless medical people in this country, but we have been blessed not to deal with them.
I hope you can get the care you need despite the doctor’s ego, but if not, I hope you can find one that is skilled and personable.
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Thank you! I think bedside manner is falling apart a bit. But, I have gotten emails at 2 am from doctors, so much is just too many patients too little time
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You are very understanding.
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Sometimes…
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Wow! I don’t think I could handle that Dr but I do get what you mean about him being thorough and knowledgeable, that is very important!! But I do think I would have to find another Dr for no matter how much you know if you are just going to treat me like a number and not someone who deserves your time and RESPECT than I can’t trust you with my healfh.
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Here’s the thing…he may be gruff, but he respects that my ailments are valid…isn’t that better respect? How many people complain their doctor doesn’t take them seriously?
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You do have a point there! If you feel he is respecting you than that makes a difference. I was just guessing that by his attitude he didn’t. But yes there are nice Drs out there that don’t respect or listen.
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I figure if he respects my concerns, that’s the most important thing
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You are right and maybe you can sweeten him up. LOL!
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😉
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Have you ever heard the joke that goes “What’s the difference between God and a doctor?”
God doesn’t think he’s a doctor.
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I like it….😉
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🙂
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LOL!!
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I wouldn’t be as tactful as you. My response would’ve been..I don’t know, a fucking doctor with no sense of time. I have had experiences like this in general with time wasters as opposed to “famous”.
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I don’t have a poker face…
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I haven’t completely found that perfect combo yet, although my new doctor is far more personable
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Now that I have a team, most if my doctors are in that middle range…no one is overly personable or nice
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If a Dr has poor bedside manner, I move on. I need to feel heard to trust that they are making the right medical decisions for me.
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But does a pleasant bedside manner mean you can trust someone?
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I would chose expertise and experience over bedside manner any day. I’m not condoning rudeness, but a pleasant nice-guy manner is useless if you’re misdiagnosed.
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See…that’s my whole thing. Yeah this guy is pompous. However…if he finds answers that no one else does…
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I’d take pompous ass over caring doc any day. Care won’t get you treated properly.
On the other hand, I hate it when doctors don’t have a good bedside manner.
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Wow I’m glad I wasn’t in your shoes I might’ve laughed. What do you mean do you know who I am, the only thing I care about is that you are my doctor and you take me seriously.. wowza.
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Well, I had my knee replacement done by the guy everyone in town swears by, though I don’t care for his attitude. I’m not 100% certain another doctor wouldn’t have done at least as good a job or better. For my PCP, though, personality does matter. I get that it can be hard to find competence and caring at the same time, but I think it’s worth continuing the search. Even the pompous famous guys can screw up, especially when they find their head has gotten too big to pull from their ass.
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I get they can all screw up, but he is thorough….lots of blood tests and such…he’s good at getting complete picture
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It is pleasant to have a doctor who one feels comfortable with and that they hear you. We were blessed with one and he was also an excellent diagnostician. He retired when the demands the hospital he worked with put quantity over quality of care. We haven’t found another doctor who comes close.
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Some are better doctors than others and some are better people than others:)
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Good way to think about if
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AND, they can be good doctors and good people but still have no bedside manner (Doc Martin is a good fictional example:)
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Oooh…that’s good!
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Like any relationship, for me, it depends on how it feels; and that things are reciprocal. If it feels okay, and there are results, then fine. However, if it feels not so awesome, and there are results; that’s harder. I will typically go with the feeling.
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I’m not changing…yet. But we’ll see
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indeed. time will tell, yes?
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I enjoy your loaded questions LA. Ok, I like professional, knowledgeable and with a personality (ie. good beside manner). When any of those three characteristics are lacking (missing) , I find it difficult to deal with that Dr. But, I’d rather an expert with a lousy personality than a kiss butt with no knowledge. I understand your dilemma.
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I think how good a doctor is has nothing to do with how well-known he or she happens to be. My husband’s oncologist isn’t well known, but he’s very good: explains things fully, answers all questions, has a positive, “This is tough but you can do it” attitude. My husband’s surgeon is considered the best in the area for his specialty and people fly in from all over the country to have him operate on them. And he does a fine job, too. But his people skills aren’t nearly as good as the oncologists. They are both good doctors, just in different ways.
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We need to figure out what makes us comfortable, and what we need…
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I’d follow the talent not the personality! If he’s thorough and you’re getting the care you need I’d hang in there, maybe ask for his autograph? ✍️ C
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Right? Ask him to sign his latest book?
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Yes some are better than others. Furthermore who cares who you are if I need treatment. Geesh! That must have been so awkward.
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It does make for a fun story though
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LOL! For sure
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Over here, we get a different doctor each time. No time to form any kind of doctor-patient rapport! So it doesn’t really matter whether the personalities click
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Something I never thought about
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Don’t get me started on the healthcare system, LA. It’s stress that…I just can’t even…while it’s nice to be treated as a human being by your doctor, I think first things first…the doctor has to be competent. More than competent. As to his cockiness…Karma loves to teach people lessons…as long as the lesson doesn’t involve you. I do hope you’re able to get the answers you’re looking for and a solid treatment plan that makes all this go away! BTW, I might have replied, you’re my doctor. Do you know who I am? Mona
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That’s good!
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If you are a medical mystery, you may need to stick with him, but what an unfortunate choice. I can’t believe he said that to you. His picture should be next to HUBRIS in the dictionary. He obviously thinks he is God’s gift to medicine, when actually he is just a well-educated jerk.
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The more I think about it, the more I rather have a loud mouth who gets things done as opposed to a nice guy who doesn’t…
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I agree with what seem to be the majority of comments. Competence and thoroughness, especially in your case where you have been suffering from “mystery ailments” are more important. And hopefully, if he really does fix what ails you, you won’t have seem him very often, as you yourself pointed out.
It may also be possible that your guy doesn’t really think he’s god. In my experience patients sometimes think doctors are gods and I remind them that they are really just human beings like you and me,
Not only that, but clearly your guy doesn’t presume to know it all since he’s sending you to the right (also competent and knowledgeable but you didn’t mention their bedside manners) specialists.
I can also speak as the proud parent of a future doctor who is currently struggling to learn and internalize all the facts doctors have to know, especially PCPs. I would guess that, especially as a new patient, you’d want to deal with a physician who appears extremely confident in his own knowledge and expertise and, again, who knows when assistance from betters may be needed. Again recalling that doctors are only human, he may feel it’s necessary to appear “arrogant”, especially as a TV commentator/expert, to give you and consumers confidence that he indeed does know what he’s talking about and is OK with acknowledging that some of what he tells you comes from other sources because neither he nor any other doctor can really know it all when it comes to treating the human body.
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That’s a good point about the doctor wanting to exude confidence so acts in a certain way
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