Now that we are all starting to have in real life social happenings…

I went to dinner with friends the other day- had a wonderful time. Great conversation. Lots of laughs. Always have fun with this couple. Totally enjoyed myself and look forward to seeing them again soon.

Last weekend went out with two couples. Day was nice. Nice. Is nice a great description though? Do you really want someone to say that it was a “Nice” time? Or do you want to use a better adjective? Is “I had a nice time” just another way to say that you were bored 75% of the day?

When you go out with friends, how do you want to describe the outing?

I don’t need the outing to be “Epic”. I am not an “epic” person. I don’t do “epic”. No one is ever going to spend an evening with me and say that it was the best night evvvvvver. I am never going to wake up somewhere that I didn’t intend to. I am never going to look at my wrist and wonder why I have a wristband on. There is never going to be an unexplained tattoo on my body…

So what words do I hope I say after spending time with friends?

  • pleasurable
  • entertaining
  • amusing
  • lively
  • hilarious
  • intellectually stimulating

So now you know my goal. No body art. Plenty of conversation.

But what makes it a “pleasurable outing”?

What is the difference between a “nice” time and a “great” time?

Think back to the last time you were with friends. I realize that for some of you this is over a year ago… What makes time with friends so special?

I know that I have a much better time with old friends. The couple we went out to dinner with we’ve known a long time. There’s a shorthand to old relationships. We know one another’s opinions on things- we can build onto the existing relationship. We know what topics to avoid. We know how far we can “push” one another. We know what makes our friends laugh. I am going to see my oldest and closest friends in a few weeks. To say that I am excited is an understatement. I guess there is a feeling of relaxation with old friends- they know your secrets. They were probably there for some of them. I think that when I am relaxed and feel safe I can have a much better time.

So, for me, familiarity does not breed contempt. Familiarity allows me to be me. When I am “Me” I have a much better chance of having a lively time.

But what are the other variable that go into having an “entertaining” evening or outing?

Conversation?

An activity?

Everyone being equally invested in the outing?

The last time you were out with people other than your immediate family, what made the excursion good or bad? Boring or exciting? Lively or dull?

What makes a for a good social interaction?

Does alcohol need to be involved for a group outing to be successful?

How do you define having a good time?

64 thoughts on “Let’s Hang Out”

  1. I had book club Friday night. It was the second time we have been together recently. The first time was pleasurable. Everyone was happy to be there and everyone as equally involved. The second time was back to one of the ones that has made me tempted to quit. two of the four people who attended wanted the night to be all about them. Everyone was not equally invested in the group. Conversation and inclusion is important in group outings.

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    1. Yeah…I think inclusion is important. If someone really doesn’t want to be around and is quiet, or if someone hogs the conversation, it sort of takes the air out of the room

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  2. I’ve never understood why some people think alcohol has to be a part of every social thing. Sure, a good drink is nice now and then, but surely not necessary for people to have a good time? I’ve been to plenty of gatherings without alcohol, and not only did we have a great time, but we remember it all the next day. Maybe we’re just a bunch of boring Midwesterners, though….

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    1. Honestly, I’m with you on this. When I originally envisioned this post, the question was can a group have fun without alcohol. Like in the case of my old friends, we have a good time whether or not alcohol is involved…it’s just the chemistry. But there are groups where if everyone hasn’t had a few, the evening fizzles…but when I began to write, I figured that I just wasn’t equipped to handle a drink or no drink conversation. Remember when I suggested that maybe alcohol sakes should be banned in early COVID? 😆

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      1. I don’t remember that, but 2020 has become something of an anxious blur in my memory.

        But… yeah. Why is alcohol such a social thing? Why are people perfectly content to spend crazy amounts of money on cocktails just because everyone else is? What’s wrong with a perfectly good soda?

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      2. Here, so many places are doing amazing Virgin cocktails. I do like to try cocktails if we are at a nice place for dinner, but I’m still a 16 year old …I like them sweet and pink or bubbly…we were at dinner recently and one of our friends is an oenophile (I think that’s wine drinker) and I tried her selection and I was less than floored about it. Plus…I know this sounds horrible, but I’d rather eat my calories

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  4. I think it’s difficult to know what makes for good social interaction because everyone is so diverse. The comments on this post prove my point, lol.

    My idea of a good time would be a small gathering of people I am comfortable with. I’m not opposed to alcohol being served, but it isn’t mandatory.

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  5. Words to describe get togethers? Lovely, uplifting, laughter, feel good moments. Those are words I feel when I see people. I just feel good inside. Whole again. I’ve been very isolated due to the pandemic and for health reasons. Quite honestly whether it was on zoom, a home visit, on FaceTime or meeting outside at an eatery, just seeing friends or family makes me smile, laugh, and feel positive inside.
    Alcohol? Seriously? What does that have to do with anything? I missed people. Not having a drink with people. The comradery. Their smiles.
    Unfortunately, I’m back in that isolated situation because I’m on chemo again . So I have to be extremely careful. But it’s the people I crave. I’m still not able to go into restaurants. And I need masks all around me again. However,I’ve learned to deal with it. Being alive takes precedence over all the other BS. I’m delighted with friends and family. I embrace them all.

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    1. Uplifting is a good description. I want to be around people who bring me up. I do admit I don’t like zoom….I get restless on zoom. But I’m not a big phone person either

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      1. Yes, I always feel so good after seeing people I care about. It’s like an uplifting sigh or hug. People brighten our spirits. I think it’s pretty natural to drink in positive energy from others.

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  6. I can’t remember the last time I was really out without my family. But I do like the familiarity of spending time with old friends better than new ones right now. I’m in a stage right now that I’d prefer to have deeper conversations than to be superficial and maybe even on edge learning about others.

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  7. I’m with you. If I don’t know someone very well or comfortably, I feel like I’m performing all night and end up with social hangover the next day. “What did I say?” “I offended them, didn’t I…”

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  8. It still has to happen for me although I had coffee with a local blogger once recently and that was a stimulating, interesting get-together. 🙂

    Indoor dining to recommence later this week finally. 🇨🇦. Maybe I’ll make plans.

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  11. We have done so much more socializing since we moved to Arizona. We’ve had friends drop in from CA, plus we have longtime friends living nearby. I stayed with my BFF from college when I visited my mom near Seattle this spring. We are so comfortable together. I also stayed in a hotel for a couple nights and invited my Aunt to stay with me. Plus, I met a new friend for coffee (they just purchased a house in AZ) and we sat and talked for two hours! That trip was a nice blend of new and old friends and family.

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  12. We last got together for my friends 50th, of the 12 people I knew my friend and his brother, my wife and a coworker and her husband. Unfortunately my wife and I were the only non-drinkers in attendance. When conversation became nothing but alcohol related, it became a “nice” evening as opposed to a great evening. I need to do things with people that are of like minded, I sure don’t need to imbibe every single time I hang out with people, unfortunately that is definitely my buddy Mark and his core group of friends. It’s probably why I don’t hang with him as often. Stimulating conversation, good food, laughs, shared interests.

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  13. Yes, there is a familiarity with old friends which is great!
    I can immensely enjoy just sitting with a friend over a meal and talking about anything and everything. My bestie and I love to go to the beach. Walking along the ocean and talking is most pleasurable!
    When with a group of friends I find myself enjoying laughing til I cry over conversation and a lively game a lot of fun. Getting into in depth conversations would be the intellectual stimulation part that is wonderful too.
    And to answer your question No, alcohol does not have to be involved to have an amazing time!
    Really I can enjoy doing anything with a friend or friends. Its not as much the activity as who I am with! Sure, there are things I enjoy more than others. I much prefer being in nature over shopping but a friend can make anything fun. Though if you want to go jogging, count me out!

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    1. I’m a big nay on the jogging too….but I went to lunch with a friend a few weeks ago. It was amazing because we just talked and talked

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  14. I will admit, though an “extrovert”, I don’t have a lot of time for socializing. However, I’ve done my fair share of going out, hanging out, etc., and for me? The most important thing is that I’m surrounded by people that I have a connection and relationship with; and, whether the person is new to me or not, that we get each other, and enjoy each other. In short, not interested in pretense. Done that, not interested.

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  16. I don’t really know. Your posts always get me thinking. I don’t usually make plans a lot of the time. I think it’s the Sagittarius in me….. which is more than an excuse…. You know what? Thinking of a great adjective that really seems to fulfill my senses is yummy. As, I had the most yummy nap. Or, some spontaneous interaction and when it’s all said and done and it went beyond words to me is YUMMY. Adjectives are really funky, especially when looking them up. The word nice actually is not very “nice” a far as the dictionary goes. Thank you!

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  17. When did the word nice become such a bad thing? I have to laugh because so many people view it that way, when it really isn’t. It is kind of like content. If someone says they are content with their life, it is easy to view that as less than happy or as just okay, a sort of medium, uninteresting grey or lukewarm. Nice is the same way. When the actual definition of nice is pleasant or satisfactory. Is it that we expect life and activities to be above that? That we need to be more than satisfied? Maybe I’m on the more boring side, but I’m usually content with nice.

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    1. There were words that my daughter wasn’t allowed to say during dinner conversations (I think I wrote about it before) and they were nice, interesting, fine, boring and stupid. If you used those words you had to qualify them. They lack imagination as far as a description. What does nice mean? Quiet? Loud? What you expected? Totally different than what you expected? If I went on a date and the guy said he had a nice time, meaning satisfactory, I’d probably not want to see him again

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  19. I always thought nice was a fine word until my friend kept explaining his wife as “nice”. I couldn’t get a clear picture of this person. He never said anything but “”nice”. He couldn’t say one thing other than fine. So I ended up looking it up. And it was like agreeable, pleasant. I told him and he said they never got into fights , she didn’t like to watch the news, didn’t like to talk about anything they stirred up emotions. He said she was nice. So I guess I’m basing that on that experience. I believe agreeable is great. I think being pleasant is a breath of fresh air. 😋

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