See the picture? Before Karen was a racist, Karen complained to the manager about everything…

Now I want you to forget about the racist interpretation of the name Karen. Racists don’t even deserve names- they should just be called evil…

But let’s get back to the picture. Call this woman whatever you want. Let’s just say that the goal of this meme is to shut women up.

Yup.

Think about it.

Women are not supposed to complain.

Women are supposed to take what comes to them.

Women don’t have the right to expect the best service, to get what they pay for, to complain when something is wrong…

Remember my blog the other day, the one about getting my order wrong…twice?

Do you think the first thing the waiter said when he got back to the kitchen was “OMG Karen at table 3…”?

Why does society want to shut women up?

Don’t we deserve to have our voices heard?

Don’t we deserve to eat the omelet the way we want to?

Don’t we deserve to say something when we aren’t being treated fairly or correctly?

Let’s stop putting each other down. Let’s start supporting one another.

If we don’t learn to treat one another with respect and kindness, we have nothing left…

83 thoughts on “Let Me Speak to the Manager”

  2. For some reason, I thought the waiter called you a racist as I thought you were saying this in the first sentence as you did not order the eggs right or maybe you called the waiter “boy” as a joke to lighten the tension. Eggs are eggs but how you get them defines your day especially with a good cup of Joe….or it is Jo….or am I even allowed to call coffee this anymore?

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      1. I don’t get insulted and just smile. I once was called a cracker by someone and I had no idea what they meant but I knew they insulted me. It was a 16 year old, so I smiled and shrugged, walked away.

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  3. FYI the origin of “Karen” was first used in the food industry. For disgruntled customers who would constantly send food back, hence why I suggested that the waiter may have called you the other day, it only recently became associated with racism.

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  4. Well, the funny thing is I was new to the South and had a very rude awakening from a teenager in c class I told to be quiet. Even though I knew what he called me was wrong, I swallowed it and moved on because I did not want to cause any issues-being new. After finding out the meaning of a word I had never heard, I was annoyed and felt it was unfair but I considered the source. He did not like being told what to do or how to work, so I moved on.

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    1. The funny thing is I was born and raised in New York and not Southern at all with no knowledge of lingo or derogatory terms; however he never took the time to find out. I survived the year. It was a tough school.

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      1. I moved forward because I realized even then if I complained things would get worse and somehow I might become “what did you do? ” Uh, tried to make him listen, write his paper.

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  7. 100% agree. Since middle aged women are more likely to have the name Karen, I’ve always taken the meme partly as society expects women past a certain age to be invisible–and the meme shames women who don’t comply.
    Now that I am a widow and no longer have a partner to help me navigate difficult situations in life, it makes me think about the Karen meme more.

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  10. Before I say anything I ask my kids “If I say/do this will I be a Karen?” I feel sorry for all the Karens out there. I didn’t know the racist part, I just thought it meant a middle-aged woman. with an attitude. I think Black, Brown, Yellow, any woman with an attitude could be a Karen. Yes, you have the right to have your omelet any way you choose. You know darn well a man would not stand for having the wrong ingredients in his omelet!

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  11. Just another part of the censorship going on here and devaluing of people, especially women. I don’t know what the origins of “Karen” were, but I’d be interested to know how it became such a popular derogatory slang here. And I’m just grateful my name is Karen.

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  14. We should be allowed to speak up! But not to be derogatory or disrespectful to others – I’m not suggesting you were that either. I see the videos of people claiming things that arnt true – to make trouble. NOW they are the ones who should be called something!!!!!

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    1. To claim something untrue is wrong. To call someone a name because they don’t like the ah they’re treated is another

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  15. I’ve always seen it as a Karen is someone who takes something to an over the top, ridiculous, entitled and privileged, melt down level of extreme drama in the process of making that complaint, not just someone who complains or speaks up when there is a problem. Even then, most of the time, the thing they are complaining about in the first place is the kind of thing that has most people scratching their heads and wondering about the person’s mental state and whether they skipped their meds, because what comes out of their mouths is rarely ever something a rational human being would even consider saying. Sure, some people have taken that Karen concept and applied it to those less shocking situations, but the basis is still the same. I’ve seen this applied to men as well, though I will say it is less often. So I don’t really see this, at least the general concept, as an attempt to silence anyone, though I can see how those who might want to do that could use this as a vehicle to do so.

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    1. It all depends on how we define over the top. I’ve been called a b#$&h because I’ve asked people to not smoke in a no smoking section or text in a theater. Was I over the top? I think people don’t want to work and don’t want to follow rules and like to complain about people who do. It’s all perspective.

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  16. Ah, I’ve got a lot to write (say) about this for many reasons. It is offensive and completely inappropriate to talk about “over the top” or “emotional reactions” to situations within a context that points a finger at “women”. I know plenty of men who are quite emotional and overreact, me included, yet I don’t see a meme that is inclusive of this truth. I also think this meme and one’s like them shame emotions, which continues to stigmatize emotionality. Emotionality is part of the human experience, all of our experience. And, factually? I know way more women who are able to hold their emotions, when necessary, while also saying and arguing for what is needed. Period.

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  17. I know a lot of nice and wonderful women named Karen who do not fit the profile and I just don’t like the whole name a behavior thing. Why women aren’t supposed to complain is beyond me. I’m not even sure if complain is the right word, I prefer to call it standing up for myself, taking initiative or righting a wrong.

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    1. It is standing up for yourself…you’re right? Why should we just “take it”? It sets up a very bad pattern of women just agreeing to things. Isn’t that a bigger problem?

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  18. That hair cut though! LOL
    She was awesome and annoying at the same time.
    Yes we deserve to be heard and we really do need to support each other. It’s funny how men get aa pass for being upset but we get the side eye and a nasty comment.

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  19. Recently (last 10 years), I’m noticing how many ways women are silenced. Sometimes it’s dismissive language, intimidation, aggression, or outright lies. At my ripe old age I finally have the confidence to call people out. It’s very frustrating to recognize the frequency in which people attempt to discount my voice. It’s time for me to stand up and teach others how I expect to be treated. I’s a process, C

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    1. That’s exactly it. Don’t allow ourselves to be treated as “less than”. It’s a bad legacy to our daughters and granddaughters and young women everywhere

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  20. I’m so with you on everything you post and actually I’m tweaking an entry from one of your posts that inspired me. It’s so funny because just an hour before I started checking my phone (I know,..) I was talking to my good guy friend about something similar. And it has to do with comments that men get away with, or the stares, or the uncomfortable situation such as sitting in a park and wanting just to sit and read my book. Inexplicably, and I mean EVERY time I get some guy coming up to me wanting to talk. Actually it’s happening right now

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  21. I missed your post prior. Hummmm… I have to agree that when women complain no matter our age, color, sexual orientation it is never taken the same as if a man does the very same thing! How do I know? Experience! Years and years of experience! So to all of us women who complain about bad service, who call out lies when they are lies, who return items that are not made properly as we want things right when we pay our hard earned money on it, I say lift up your voices and Do it!!! Say it! Vote with your voice and your pens! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Then go and play “I am Woman” by Helen Reddy. Way to go LA!!!

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  22. I am determined to take up as much space in the world as I damn well want! I will speak loudly if I want, say whatever I want, and ask for whatever I want. I deserve it. I also deserve equal pay, & equal political representation 💪🏿💪🏿

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  24. I do think it’s a woman thing! I’ve long taken offense to how a pushy female manager is described in derogatory terms but a male manager is ‘powerful’ and ‘gets things done.’

    We’re supposed to be sweet, loving, nurturing, forbearing, creative, and -yes- quiet.

    I also think stature and tone play a large part as well.

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    2. We have to be who we are and stand up for ourselves. No weak woman syndrome. We can be nurturing and sure if ourselves. They’re nit mutually exclusive

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  25. I never associated the whole “Karen” thing with shutting women up – I suppose over here there is a male equivalent of it directed at people called “Kevin”. I tend to see both of them as just being directed at irrational blowhards with temper problems 🙂

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  26. I am not sure I totally agree with the idea that the “karen” memes are all about getting women to shut up, but the naming of them is not right. Working with the public for as long as I did I experienced plenty of people who had a right to complain and did so in a respectful way, but the majority of others feel it is their right to complain, berate, scream, swear etc because they are the customer. We used to have to deal with them daily and the funny thing was, that they didn’t get any faster or better treatment than anyone else. I know men that are the same way. They think bullying works. Calling these people out for their behavior is fine with me. You can and should complain but try a little respect people.

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    1. But everyone gets grouped under it. When the waiter got my order wrong he argued with me. You know he called me a karen. How do you argue with someone when you tell them your order is wrong? I’ve also been called a b because I’ve told people to not smoke in smoking areas, and not to text or talk in a theater. Some people can be overbearing…but think about my boots episode last year. They sent me the wrong shoes three times. Three. After three wrong orders, don’t I have a right to ask for the manager?

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      1. Never said you were wrong to complain, it is a respect issue. There are people who will go off with the slightest provocation. There are those who just think they are right no matter what. I can tell you that the customer isn’t always right. I don’t think respectfully complaining gets employees agitated and calling you a b**** or a “karen” and those people doing things that are against the rules or rude and are called out will always think they are in the right.

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  27. I hope I can offer another perspective here. White women have notoriously been associated with “let me talk to the manager.” Tommy Davidson (who was raised by a white woman) has a whole joke about it. I guess I don’t see the term “Karen” as trying to shut anyone up, but rather, an eye roll, like here comes the white woman about to get justice for all again.

    I do agree with what someone above said about middle-aged women being invisible, but I’ve never seen white women as invisible. From my perspective white women seem to be the most seen in America, but again, that’s my POV as a non-white woman.

    But yes…we all should have great service and whatever we paid for 😉

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    1. To me it’s become a stereotype, and as always the stereotype is the lesser number. For every woman asking to see the manager, there are probably ten eating the wrong thing or wearing the wrong size. I don’t lik3 stereotypes. Nothing good has ever sprung from them

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  28. I totally understand and agree with you 😂😂💯 I won’t lie, I am guilty of laughing at karens when I see “them” on social media, I have never had a “Karen” experience in real life. I believe women should be able to complain if they want, just like everyone else is, you’re spending your time and hard earned money, why can’t you complain to get what you’re paying for?

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  29. I think it’s that so called Karen’s complain simply to demean others or get attention . Like maskholes who complain about people not wearing masks . They’re self righteous about it . It’s not that they’re trying to prevent a mass murder , they just feel justified in trying to make other people comply . So , yes, return the food if it’s wrong , but no need to make a scene . Yes, definitely speak up for yourself but don’t act superior. You get better results when you treat others with respect . I had a friend that was always complaining to employees just to be a bitch , in my opinion. She seemed to attract negative stuff to her life . That stuff rarely happened to me . She was looking for it .

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  30. And here I’d ignorantly thought Karen referred to the character in “Will & Grace” which I’ve never really watched. If only the term, its use and origin were as benign as that! I say this after looking up both the description of the TV character and the origin and use of the term, otherwise I would not have known much about either of them.

    Having said that, and of course after browsing the comments, I see the use of this term to be yet another surreptitious way for some man trying to put us down while also making us turn on each other. By this I mean women. This myth that they (men) want to raise and continue to apply, about women being catty and mean to each other in a whole range of circumstances (work, men, fashion, etc.) is one I have found in my experience to be almost totally false.

    On the contrary, I have found that women work best in groups with the individuals each contributing what they can to the goal of the group. Dare I say it feels a little like idealized socialism? To be fair and evenhanded in the whole application of derogatory terms to each gender, I have to say that I liked the suggestion of one of your readers to use Kevin as a term equivalent to Karen. What’s fair is fair, right?

    Also, FYI, for some reason WordPress seems to have deleted you from my reader for the last couple of weeks. Surely you’re not blocking me! Right. I added you back in today and I hope you will pop up on a weekly basis in my email again starting tomorrow!

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    1. As for the Karen’s….I don’t like stereotypes, and this is a stereotype. I don’t think it does anyone any good. As for popping off my field…oddly, you and a few other blog friends keep losing me too. I don’t know why. And they’re also great commenters and good blog friends. I suggested to Lesley to try getting my blog via email (though I honestly don’t know where to find that on my page but I know people do follow me via email)

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