Ok- I haven’t put pen to paper in over a week, unless it was to sign for a pineapple and rum laden beverage while beachside….

Of course today’s topic should really require a Venn diagram, but really, that’s so not going to happen today because my brain is definitely still back in the Caribbean. However, it’s sort of the perfect day to talk about this:

self care

self center

selfish

selfless

How much of these things do we need in our day to day?

Every person needs a small combination of these four things in order to survive and thrive.

Period.

What? You say we should never be selfish or self centered?

Wrong I say. Sometimes you really do need to be those bad things…

24 hours in a day. You need to throw in a little self care- you need to love yourself and take care of yourself. What are you going to do today that makes you feel a little better? Come on…name it. What is something that you are going to do? Ideally- you should have a list, or maybe a book of ideas that make you feel good. I’ll give you one of my self care main stays: read for 45 minutes. You wonder how I read so many books? I set aside time every day to read. Reading makes me happy. But see, one could say this interjects with selfish. Sometimes, I might let dusting or some other household task go undone because I just need time to myself…sometimes taking this 45 minutes a day could seem selfish. Don’t I have other things to do? Yes I probably do. But sometimes I have to come first- my peace of mind, my center, me:

Sometimes I need to put myself first: Call it self centered. Call it selfish. I call it survival.

My no means do I mean to shirk responsibilities> I realize that things still need to get done. But at what cost do things need to get done? Do the dishes need to be washed? Yes. Do they need to be washed right now? Maybe. Or maybe not…

Sometimes YOU need to come first…

Sometimes you need to say NO to something, or perhaps YES to something…

Sometimes you need to be the center of the universe: not all the time. but if you never come first, never allow yourself to come first, what are you really saying? Are you saying that you don’t deserve to take the spotlight for just a little bit? Are you saying that you don’t matter?

Life is about balance, about harmony, about making sure that all parts of you are in working order. What percent do you get to be selfish, self centered, self caring and selfless? Figure out how to be kind to others, and kind to yourself.

Figure out what you need to live your best life.

You can’t help anyone if you are not in top form.

Well, I planned on uploading photos from my vacation but apparently the files are too large or something. Whatever. Will worry about uploading photos when I am back in NYC.

Looking forward to catching up!!!!

As you’ve heard, Betty was spayed a few weeks ago. Every day I uploaded a picture of her tummy so my vet could check up on how she was healing. I thought this was a wonderful way to use technology: it saved me having to take her to the vet and the vet was able to see how she healed.

I am grateful to technology for being able to let the vet look at her remotely.

I am grateful that the pup is healing quickly and is on the road to being a crazy lunatic!!

Going to the ER…

Yeah- that was a trip…

As you may know, I have some anger and sadness and grief about this whole experience.

And I’m still trying to find answers as to why I had the episode…

The first thing that annoys me just a little is people telling me to chill out about it, because they had the same thing and they were fine- blah blah blah… To begin: if the Doctors don’t know what caused my episode because I don’t fit the “normal” profile, I have to trust that they might just know something…True, it might not be anything, but it might be something…

The next thing that bothers me is that I’m not great with the unknown. We keep ruling things out, and off I go to get another test…and am no closer to answers.

Of course, the Doctor recently sent me for a whole bunch of bloodwork. I mean, testing for like 50 different things. Some of these were repeats of my ER trip…

Do you know what the worst thing you can do to a thinker who is curious and always looking for answers? Give them access to the test results…before they meet up with the Doctor…

So I’ve been looking at the results of every single test. And comparing them to the results from the ER visit…

And wondering why four tests have different results- I was normal and now I’m not…well…you know what I mean…normal is relative…

I have new fun and exciting tests on the horizon…and probably retaking the tests that show different numbers…

I have some ideas of what could be wrong…some things seem to add up…based on my Googling anyway. But I’m not a Doctor. I don’t even play one on my blog… I’m just a person with a little tiny grain of intelligence and access to the Internet…

And I wait…

How do you create family harmony?

Seriously- this isn’t a “how to” post. This is a genuine cry for help…

First off- how do we define family harmony? Is there such a think as peaceful coexistence in a family? Or are we all just pretending?

How does a group of people with unique identities, individual ideas and different habits maintain their uniqueness while also supporting those they are related to?

We don’t really get to choose our family members- we get what we get and we shouldn’t get upset. Sure- people choose a partner- but after that…you don’t choose your parents, or siblings, or cousins… Even those who adopt or foster don’t really have much say: you might choose a birth mother, or you might decide to adopt post foster care, but really, it is what it is…

But how do we actually do it?

My adult daughter living at home. I will unequivocally state that she is a wonderful person. She is clean and respectful and has a laundry list of wonderful attributes…

However…

It doesn’t mean that little birds sing in our house and we all sit around the drum circle singing Kumbaya….It doesn’t mean that there aren’t raised voices and slammed doors and thinly veiled threats. And occasional bribes….Things are not always harmonious.

Now, it can be said that friction is healthy. If we never get angry or storm off in a rage, we are withholding feelings that will manifest in other ways later on. Kids are supposed to push boundaries with their parents. That is normal and healthy.

But it doesn’t always make for a happy living situation…

How do we develop good relationships with people so that, for the most part, family members don’t hate one another?

Has there ever been a parody about a happy family gathering? Or is it all just stories about how awful the relatives are?

Would appreciate tips for those seeking family harmony or any funny family stories about how relatives can be, let’s just say, unpredictable…

You know I hate trigger warnings in books.

Hate them.

However…

I recently read a book- “The Discomfort of Evening.”Read it for book club- won the international Booker…blah blah blah…

First off- I hated it.

Secondly- I hated it.

Thirdly- it had so many topics that could be trigger warnings even I cringed as I read the pages. I wanted to cover my eyes, which I realize defeats the purpose of reading and all, but that’s how crazed I got by the content.

Now I say all this, and I still don’t think that books should have trigger warnings.

But…

Should books that abound with questionable topics be eligible for prizes and awards?

Here’s my thought process on this: If books with questionable subject matter keep getting nominated and winning, does that mean that feel good books no longer have a place in the higher literary echelon? How much boundary pushing do we really need to do? Will the only books deemed worthy be so depressing that the average person no longer reads them?

Can we maybe have a people’s choice award for books?

Can I give my personal stamp of approval onto what books are good?

When we give awards…what exactly are we rewarding?

Note: I am presently not around reliable wifi. I will answer comments when I am able!!

I am grateful to see people smile again.

I am grateful to get to wear lipstick and blush and bronzer again.

I am grateful to Sephora for being a place where I can buy all these things.