I am a fan of self help/live a better life books. I always garner a little wisdom from them, plus they always motivate me to be a little better person. After a year like we’ve had, I need a little self love.

One of the books I read recently was “The Lemonade Life How to Fuel Success, Create Happiness and Conquer Anything”- Zack Friedman.

This is a bit of a rah rah, yay you sort of book. Find out the distractions and live your best life yay team….

I like those kind of books…and if you like this kind of books, this is worth a look.

But anyway…

Here’s one takeaway I got from the book:

Friedman states that “noise” is a thief who steals focus and prevents you from achieving your vision and realizing your goals. (Chapter 9)

So what are your “noises”? What are the things that suck the creativity from you?

Here are some of mine:

  1. Husband working out of the living room- seriously- I can’t think, let alone do anything that causes actual noise (I was unable to have a phone conversation with a friend yesterday because my husband was in meetings all day and there is no place left for me to talk except the bathroom…which I just can’t do…
  2. I manage to find a game every month that does suck away at my time- I get really into it and I become hyper focused on it to the point where I have to set up time windows
  3. writing truth in my work that no one will say could ever happen- when you put yourself on a page, and thinking/knowing that people are judging and doubting
  4. communication with my Mom- she just argues about everything…

So-

What are your noises? What are the things that distract you from achieving your dreams?

What do you do to get through the things that block you?

How do you reach your goals?

Discuss

80 thoughts on “Noisy”

  3. I completely gave up gaming on mobile devices because of ads, bugs, in game spending and that they become a total time waster. My time waster is YouTube. General feelings of malaise and my depression suck the life out of my creativity at times. Contrary to popular belief, depression only fuels depressive creativity lol

    Speaking of which home again after my 2ND vaccination. Sore arm, achy and tired but not as bad as shot #1 where the fatigue lasted a few days.

    I guess food is my biggest noise. It’s the neverending battle to stay trim, losing excess weight never a problem..maintaining ? “fa getta bout it.”

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    1. Hoping you feel better soon…oddly my daughter just got her first shot this morning…on the first thing you said…I had book club last night. One of the members said that she could never be a writer because her life has been too happy, so yeah….I get it. And food. The relationship we all have with food. That’s a whole series of blogs just in that

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    2. YouTube is a time waster for me as well. In fact, having never considered it prior pandemic, I went premium and have had a commercial free blast since.

      Lots of tech stuff, and documentaries, and assorted nonsense, but I’ve taken to opening two windows; one playing an old, often pre-code Hollywood movie with volume set to a low ASMR level, and a minimized window playing some music mix of LoFi or classical sorta loud. And then I pretend to write, while mostly trying to figure out the plot, does the music score, and glancing at Carole Lombard… oops..ASMR…

      “Coined in 2010, ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) is a relaxing, often sedative sensation that begins on the scalp and moves down the body. Also known as “brain massage,” it’s triggered by placid sights and sounds such as whispers, accents, and crackles.”

      See, I’m watching all those pre-code movies for science.

      You stay well.

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      1. ahaha gotta love pre-code Hollywood..own a few of the more well known Tarzan, Tarzan and his mate the sequel features Jane swimming in the nude, The Gable Colbert it happened one night, The first two thin man films…yeah science 😉

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  5. I set goals daily and usually achieve them because I don’t spend much time on my iPhone or talking excessively to other people. I do, however, work out in the living room thanks to COVID. Please don’t be mad at your husband for doing so even though it drives you nuts. It is healthy and saves time. I find that plugging in earbuds and listening to the music of my choice helps to eliminate distractions.

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  6. I think I view this differently on a personal level. There are distractions, or time-wasters if you will, then there are major, and sometimes not easily controlled, events that keep you from goals. I’m also not sure that I still really have any major goals to fulfill. Attainable goals also seem different to me than dreams. I equate dreams for the most part as amazing ideals that would bring perceived joy to my life but in reality are very, very unlikely to happen no matter how focused I am. Example: travelling through Europe for an unspecified amount of time with an endless supply of currency. I have my daily time-wasters, mostly as a way to unwind after work, but they don’t interfere with long term goals. The goals are works in progress, mostly focused on when to retire and the inevitable changes that come with that decision.

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    1. That’s an excellent point. How do we differentiate the little things that help us unwind, and the things that actually get in the way? I think there are times when we need a distraction to refocus, and times when you get caught up in something as avoidance. I know I can avoid things if I feel like it, which is not great. I catch up eventually, but yeah…it’s there

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  7. Mines is ..
    loneliness.I video call sometimes but just ‘sometimes’.Wish there was someone around to talk to, but then I read and get lost in them. Thanks to the pandemic! Else is just fine .

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  8. Ooooh LA, good one! Having lived alone for a few years, I find living with anyone to be a noise. I’m a people pleaser so find it hard not to meet their needs and/or wants. What works best is having a rational but firm conversation around respecting boundaries. Himself is pretty decent on that score, not perfect, more a work-in-progress. The work-in-progress bit is that he struggles with my writing and marketing work, as he doesn’t see either as a source of income. Other noise is my part-time job which expects round the clock availability for a part-time salary. I’m still negotiating boundaries on that one, with limited success sadly. And finally, if I’m honest, one significant noise is that I try to fit too much in to the available hours, This causes conflict, as I’m always being drawn from one subject to another and struggle to complete things in a timely manner. Having hurt my back recently, I’ve been setting 30 minute timer so I get up and walk for 5 minutes before sitting back down at my desk. It’s enabled me to break my work up into 30 minute batches which has helped with focus. I believe there’s a “thing” called the pomodoro technique, which is the same but for 25 minute bursts.

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    1. I love the pomodoro thing, as it is a great way to structure your time and reduce burnout. I find I try to schedule times to do things to, otherwise I am a great waster of time

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  9. I have my own amateur version of the pomodoro technique—-if I don’t feel like working but know that I must I will set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes and start on housework–this usually helps me get started. I had never heard of the pomodoro technique before today.
    My noise is feeling overwhelmed by thinking about everything that needs to be done instead of thinking about completing one task at a time. I am a procrastinator so that is not helpful.
    Actual noise is noise to me and can make stressed and anxious.
    I’m not quite the reader I used to be but if I find an author I like sometimes I will binge read–did this recently with 3 books by Lucy Foley. Two were good the other not so great.
    Have been a long time words with friends player—-I don’t play it as much as I used to but that used to be noise in my life.
    I need to check out the book—I could use something motivational.

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  10. Taking this question literally and with all due respect to Mr. Friedman’s assertion, I’d say that noise is what allows me focus intently on what I want to do because I have the ability to block it out when I need to. I lived in a coed party dorm in college. It was always noisy so I learned how to create my own quiet space inside my mind. I had to.

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  11. Self doubt is a biggie for me. That internal voice that is telling me anything and everything that would make me give up what I’m working on. The not good enough, not interesting enough, not useful and on and on and on. The other is basic distractions. Like when I FINALLY get to sit down and read for a bit, my daughter or son decides that is when they want to have a nice long conversation about life. There are days I want to just write “go away” on my head so I don’t even have to speak. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the fact that my kids even want to speak to me at their age, but the timing is often on the annoying side.

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  12. I get distracted by reading news on the internet. I have a series of websites I read, but I can get lost in them. This week I gave myself a limit of 30 minutes of reading Twitter etc. and then time to get to work. It’s helping but it’s only Tuesday.

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  13. I can’t talk in the bathroom either. I have to admit that sometimes blogging/reading blogs is noise to me but maybe just seems that way during April. Since my “office” is in the kitchen, I have learned to block out a lot of noise from the family, so much so that if I don’t answer them they get frustrated.

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    1. I set up blog reading times, so i totally get that as being noise. When I first started blogging 4 years ago I admit I spent way too much time reading and commenting on blogs and I didn’t get other stuff done. Now I’m just more mindful of my time

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  14. My noises: watching my husband wait hours for his son to contact him about meeting for lunch with the family-seeing the cancer affect him and he gets tired easily-my online students silly questions after I send out emails to all answering questions-my doubt that someone gave me a good reference despite the fact that I was effective and others noticed-my noise is that I am not perfect. I get over it by escaping to a good mystery, writing a poem, exercising, or the garden or reading blogs, including yours.

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  16. My current noise is the silence of my iPhone 8 Plus. I can’t even make the bastard sing. I can’t even tickle it for giggles. It’s my first smart phone and I’m seventy years old. And it was a point of pride for me to not have a “smart phone.”

    Then came the plague and final farewells via FaceTime. And with everyone moving to all on-line all the time, and the increasing insistence of 2FA (two factor authorization)…The days of my hard won ways of bypassing the core of the Apple Computer ecosystem were over. I had to have a damn “smart phone.”

    From the cosmic concerns of a global pandemic, I stoop to personal privilege.

    Growing up as a “Ward Of The State,” I have often found it difficult, to this day, to possess something personal. To own it. To make the material mine.

    Susan, after three decades, has come to understand that a gift she gives me today, may not be made mine until months go by. Her parents even understand now, that the All-Clad Pasta Pentola they gave me won’t see any penne for weeks or more.

    That’s true about many things, from new clothes to new money, but electronics seems to be the most problematic. From a six transistor radio to a $3000 plus MacBook chilling for three months in that Designed in California By Apple box .

    Think of what foster children are going through during this pandemic.

    I know the Mac OS, and I’m conversant with iPad OS, but I don’t want to know a damn thing about iOS. And think about how fleeting the form factor of an iPhone. How temporary the touch of a computer in one’s hand. How ephemeral. How painful it will be to make this, now necessity, mine.

    Forget those foster kids, just weep for me.

    And by the by, I chose the 8 Plus for a reason. Got it from Apple refurbished and it was pristine. With a new battery. And for my purposes I need a Home Button. And yes better it, than a 12, thrown against the wall.

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    1. I actually own a droid. Freely admit it’s not as good as an iPhone but it works fir what I need it to do. I do however have an iPad for reading and blog answering. All the rest…I will she’d a tear for you, but applaud you for being able to get past it as well as you do. You done good

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  17. I am very easily distracted so, when it’s writing time, I listen to white noise through headphones. It might be Pavlovian by now but doing that seems to improve my writing too!

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  19. I have to say that I don’t have many goals. Retirement was a glorious goal in itself, and I have enjoyed it for seven years. However, I do like to write in a leisurely manner with no time pressure. Living in a household of four makes that hard. One daily goal is to finish reading all the posts of the bloggers I follow and to respond to all personal email messages. I usually push to finish, cheating myself of sleep. That, in turn, sucks joy from the following day. I cope by taking a half hour nap every afternoon.

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  20. Wait, a minute, I thought the hubby was back at work…anyway, here are a couple of my “noises,” Hypersensitivity, which is a true gift, yet does cause overwhelm issues when there is a lot going on, and, well, there’s been a lot going on this past year+. Creativity, which I love, yet when it comes in tsunami-style waves, it can be hard to focus on the details. Not as much today, yet, watching shows can still distract me sometimes. Especially when I really like the show! 😂

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  21. I’m with TJ Fox, self doubt is my dream squasher. I start out and when things don’t go perfectly I realize that I can’t do it as well as I imagined so I quit. I envy people who can just jump into something and succeed.

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      1. I feel like whatever I do has to be done with no mistakes or it shouldn’t be done and then I go over what I have done and realize that I can’t do it perfectly so I don’t do it. Perfectionism is part of my self doubt. The bar is too high and I doubt I can attain it.

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  22. I agree with those who get derailed by self-doubt. I’m finding ways to overcome that. Food is a big distraction – planning dinner every night, shopping and cooking. Sometimes I don’t mind, but if I lived alone, it would not be such a big time suck.

    Maybe I could accomplish more if I could figure out how to write in the morning instead of looking at news. But my writing brain is blank and I feel a need to have some clue what’s going on in the world. Not sure what it matters, though.

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  23. This week’s theme must be “creativity” 😉 I am easily distracted, so any noise…at all…bothers me. I’ve also decided I must have some sort of ADHD (my husband mentioned he’d also noticed it since he’s been wfh with me).

    Anywho, I use my noise cancelling headphones when I really need quiet, and I listen to film scores on Pandora or classical music on SiriusXM if I really need uninterrupted silence. Back in the day, I would go to the library and sit in one of those study rooms.

    I also set my timer for one hour and flip my phone upside down. I think a couple years ago, I also turned off most of my notifications, so that’s been helpful. Oh, and deactivating FB has given me LOADS of time.

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    1. Timers totally help me concentrate! And my daughter shuts off her iPhone notifications. She said in high school, and now, it was invaluable to get things done. Sort of, you can have it all, just not at the same time

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  25. I realized while living with my daughter, son-in-law, and three grandchildren that I can not write with any distractions. I just can’t. I have to slip into a very quiet zone to write. Thankfully we have a cabin a few hours away to escape to or I wouldn’t written a word this last year. I didn’t know this about myself until recently. So this begs the question, which part of my brain do I write with, and why can’t I access this in the midst of noise? C

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    2. Maybe this is why I got vertigo! I’m trying to use the part of the brain that allows me to write with distractions! But seriously…I can’t think with someone in the room. I guess I feel like they can read my thoughts…does that sound stupid?

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      1. Not at all, I believe they do on some level. My husband asks obscure questions about what I’m writing about and it freaks me out! I realized I use a different part of my brain to write when my granddaughter was pummeling me with questions, which 5-year-olds do, I had to keep switching my brain(if that makes sense) and couldn’t do it. I also use another part of my brain to read, because the same thing happens. So what I’m saying is I REALLY like to be alone! C

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  26. Interesting. I agreed self-help books often have useful messages and advice, I often feel it could be boiled into a chapter or so rather than spun out into a book. Hence I am afraid I have abandoned a few! I’m sure there are exceptions, though.

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      2. I just skip the sections that don’t resonate. I figure if I find one helpful thing in a book it’s worth it. I thought the whole naming your distraction thing was good for me because I know I get distracted easily

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  27. Right now my “noise” is that Entrepreneur and I share a home office. “Nuf said about that. My adjunct gig with 22 graphic designers is in full throttle so I have little to no time for anything personal. I worry…..worry about granddaughters who have to live in this screwed up, moral relativistic world. Sometimes the noise results in paralysis by analysis.

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  28. Well, I saw somewhere on Facebook, which is one of my noises, that time spent doing something you enjoy is not wasted. Other noises are the usual headline scrolling every morning. Another one is “catching up” by reading all the blog posts i didn’t read in real time, which means the vast majority. I am the least behind on yours and a few others since I schedule time to read and reply to them on a weekly basis. That is one of the few activities I actually schedule. Overall, I’m doing well lately since I’m only a month behind on the rest of my misc. email, including posts. A newer noise is a lot more self-help reading. I expect to put a lot of what I’ve gleaned from these blurbs, many online, into real use, finally. Especially the ones about goals, which I never really thought I had but now think maybe I should, and procrastination, which I clearly need help in dealing with!

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