So as I spent much of the past week trying not to be dizzy…

Fun Fact: do you know how tea light candles got their name? Because they used to sit under tea pots to keep the contents of the pot warm. How cool is that? I’m going to have to buy myself the apparatus that contains the candle that you can put the pot on…

I saw this Instagram post yesterday. As I sit here and listen to how we are supposed to respect one another, I see yet another example of how people are still figuring out ways to separate us. I could look at this a number of ways:

  1. Why do we put things in columns unless we are going to compare things?
  2. Why must we label people extroverts and introverts?
  3. Why do people assume that introverts are bumbling idiots incapable of using a phone properly?
  4. Why do people assume that introverts are scared of their own shadow?
  5. A true introvert would probably use an app to order
  6. Do extroverts really think they are better than introverts?

According to New Oxford, the definition of introvert is:

shy, reticent person

but right below this definition, with a bullet point is the following:

psychology- a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things

For all my introverted friends- which definition do you think is most right?

While true that some introverts are shy and reticent, I’m willing to bet that all introverts are the second definition…

Maybe PureWow should stop their rather pedestrian attempts at humor and start seeing people as the unique individuals that they are.

Stop labeling.

Stop looking for differences.

Stop marginalizing.

And slowly…I begin to get back to my particular band of normal…

82 thoughts on “Highlights??? March 21”

  1. LA, it is so nice to hear from you. 🤗
    Lately, the introvert/extrovert discussion has changed, since most of us are ambiverts, we show some traits of both ‘categories’.

    I think, though, that most writers have more introverted characteristics, since we enjoy thinking, observing, and analyzing situations. 🌼⚘🌷

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  2. I would definitely order from the app instead of calling.

    Also – I found it fascinating back when being an introvert was the “cool” thing how many of my extrovert friends proclaimed they were really an introvert. One isn’t better than the other.

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    1. That’s just it- one way isn’t better than the other. Both are equal. They’re just innate personality traits that can’t/shouldn’t be changed. We are who we are

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  4. As I recall from Psych 101 people label other people so that you don’t have to deal with cognitive dissonance. If you already know that someone is *whatever* then you don’t have to think about them–which if you did might make you question yourself. And many people cannot stand to feel doubt. Not me, of course.

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  5. I like the term “ambivert” that your friend Sally mentioned. Since the pandemic, I realized I am much more “introverted” than I thought I was. I just hate people more than I thought I did. Or people just got more annoying since last March? OR I just got more polite.
    Yes. It’s the last thing.
    But I agree with you. I don’t like those comparisons. Like you said in one of the comments, “we are who we are”.
    Exactly. 🙂

    I hope you are feeling better.

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    1. Slowly feeling better….I mean…I’m getting feisty again….and yeah…there are many who are ambiverts….yet people don’t consider you can have some of both traits

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      1. I am glad to hear you are getting feisty! 😉
        I can’t believe people don’t think you can be both! Can you not be happy and sad? Angry and calm?

        Also, I see all over the internet meme’s about people not wanting to talk on the phone; “just text me”. That right there shows introverted qualities. I would even go further to say that the majorty of extroverts would much rather answer a text ober a phone call.

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  6. When I was young I realized that my thoughts and views were so very different than most people around me, that I thought that no one would want to hear what I had to say. The result of that insecurity is that I only speak when I really have something I want to say.
    I think the reason that we, as introverts, like texting vs’ calling is that we can’t hear the emotions behind the texted words, therefore we don’t feel judged.

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  7. Well can we not be both? Can we not desire to be quiet, reticent and crave solitude and then when we’ve had enough go out and be socially extroverted? If I had to describe myself I’d assign myself a percentage of 85% introverted, and 15% extroverted for the most part. But that doesn’t reflect my social attitude online where I am nothing even close to reticent (ha).

    Hope you’re on the mend.

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  8. I agree with Ally Bean and of course must add that socially we are taught to highlight difference so there goes the perpetual cycle. Isn’t there a saying that goes something like, ‘change your thoughts, change the world’… Clearly a whole lot more people need to jump on that idea.

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    1. Nothing will get better unless we consciously try not to highlight differences. The very same people who say don’t hate and stereotype continue to hate and stereotype.

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      1. Yes, so where does someone start? As small numbers of individuals we can consciously be aware of what we do, however there remains billions of individuals who are constantly in environments that refuse to stop detrimental behaviors and ideology. If you had the control and ability to decide the best place/way to enact real change with this one issue: labeling others, what would you do? If the adults won’t/can’t change then do we start with kids, and how? In the home, in the schools? Then we come up against changing curriculum and the dilemmas in that plan. Changing social issues is without a doubt a process that moves at the speed of a snail. We have a local news station who do environmental investigative reporting. They have a saying about “chipping away at the problem to get answers.” Changing embedded ideals and norms is all about that same process.

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      2. Well, as I say that 90% of the worlds problems can be solved by better parenting….I had a conversation with my sister the other day…she feels that leaders should be setting standards and I feel parents should. I think this is where we have a divide…people insecure about what they should be doing so they look to see what others are doing..the whole keeping up with the Jones’ thing…if purewow is a media influencer, and they continue to say things like introverts suck, extroverts rule, people who are too scared to think for themselves will think that’s acceptable

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      3. Parenting plays a huge part, I agree. I’ll just toss these last thoughts out for the collective to contemplate (and it is a broad generalization): What is it that makes us insecure as parents? What were our own examples as children growing up? Are we afraid to repeat history, so to speak, yet have little knowledge of how to do better? Has a rise in technology made effective parenting a “lost art” *On a side note: glad you are back and stirring discussion!!

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      4. Parental insecurities. Yup. I think there are two types of parents…those who think parenting is a job and those who don’t. The problem is, neither of those types are completely right. Good parenting is a combo. The trouble is you have to figure out when to be a tiger, helicopter, lawn mower or free range. Every child needs to be parented differently as there is no one size fits all rule. We become insecure when we think we are doing a great job and when our kids don’t react as we expect them to. When they don’t meet our expectations, we fumble and keep trying different things, or keep to the same thing. Both are wrong. We do things as absolutes…if something doesn’t work, we do a 180. Rarely is the exact opposite right…it’s usually a 40 degree change, or maybe 160, or maybe 90. But as there’s no right answer….we are trained for right and wrong- which with the exception of math…is not the right way to think. But now you’ve got me thinking…..😉

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  13. Nice post, LA. The paradox of the introvert, extrovert, conversation is that like all pairs of opposites, they are an illusion. We are all both and, introverted and extroverted. I was labeled and called shy and sensitive as a child. And, I am also an extrovert. Have always been. I am both and, like most people. Excellent to be reading and commenting on your posts again. Have a great week!

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  14. Glad to see you’re feeling better!

    I’m an introvert, sure. I prefer being on my own and being in the midst of a bunch of people wears me out. But I’m fully capable of using a phone, looking a person in the eye, and talking to them. It really bugs me when there’s this narrative of “introverts are incapable of working with other people or functioning in society”. Yes, I’m an introvert. I work with the public. I’ve traveled to foreign countries on my own. I’ve bought two cars on my own. I’m a fully functioning adult, thanks.

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    1. Thank you and exactly!! Introvert doesn’t mean we are incapable of beings self suffices and fully functioning! I hate the implication that introverts are “less than”! On another note…did you see the Amazon thing that they won’t give their self published books to libraries?

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  16. I am an introvert but I’m not shy. I just don’t enjoy large crowds and find making conversation with strangers difficult. I can also tolerate people (even those I love) for a certain amount of time. I’m also not predominantly concerned with my own thoughts. I have quite a bit of compassion and empathy for others. But I do a lot of self reflection and examination. Doesn’t mean I’m mostly about self. I just have an ability to look deep within.

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  20. That definition is very wrong for my dear friends and my husband who are introverts!
    I consider myself more in the middle or on the low side of an extrovert. LOL! But yes, why do we need labels at all!

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  21. As an introvert pretending to be an extrovert, as so many do, including a surprising number of comedians and actors, I suspect everyone has at least a bit of each inside. I often wonder if extroverts had fewer childhood traumas that caused fear?

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  23. WordPress has gotten into the habit of liking posts before I read them, again…luckily, I actually do like this one.

    I learned something years ago…”the brain is a pattern maker,” so it seems we can’t help ourselves. Now, maybe we can do better about the low-key shaming part.

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