I recently saw a post on Instagram- the gist of it was:
“Find a man who takes care of himself (eg. books spa appointment), because a man who takes care of himself will take care of you.”
I have to admit I was a little flummoxed to be reading this. Is the way a person treats themselves an indicator of how they will treat you?
I think that people do have to be kind to themselves. I think people need to take care of personal grooming and health needs. I think they need to care for their personal space. I also think that people do need to practice self care. But I think everyone should be doing this to a certain degree. Every single person on this planet should accept personal responsibility for themselves. So, in turn, shouldn’t we all be actively looking for someone who takes care of themselves?
The problem is in the interpretation of what self care means. Self care to me means taking the time out to make sure all parts of me are nourished: food that sustains my body in a healthy way, books and conversation that stimulates my brain, showers and hair cuts and grooming that keeps my appearance in check, relationships that help me emotionally. Self care means taking the time out to be good to myself.
But are there variations of self care?
Can too much self care be a bad thing?
Can we assume that someone who takes care of themselves will take care of you?
I guess I want to know what people expect when they say they want someone to take care of them. What does that even mean?
I don’t know if I want my Husband to “take care of me.” I want him to respect me. I want him to listen to me. I want him to not lose his patience when it comes to my daughter or the pets or household inconveniences. I want him to not complain if I put wine in the tomato sauce because the tomato’s and the meat needed a little balance.
But do I want him to take care of me?
What expectations do we have when we try to find a mate? Are we looking for the person that best suits us, or the person who will take care of us?
My podcast now appears on PocketCasts, Google PodCasts, Breaker, and RadioPublic if you use any of those!