It seems that we’ve been going out of our way to hate one another lately…we look for reasons to pick apart someone else. We’ve put up an imaginary line and begun to put people into groups. We consider some groups to be correct, and some to be wrong. We have managed to leave no room for doubt. You are either one way, or the other.

Thinking that one side is completely correct while the other side is completely wrong is not intelligence. It is not enlightenment. It is ignorance.

Now…you can continue to think that there is a right and a wrong, a yes and a no, that there is no room for discussion or debate….

But don’t be surprised if nothing changes…

Don’t be surprised if things stay the same…

Don’t be surprised if things get worse…

I know that some of you are saying to yourselves, or to me, that there are bad people out there….people that must be stopped at all costs. And I completely agree. But there are extremes to both sides, those 10% of the people who are truly bad…

But isn’t it time for the 90% of us who are mainly good to band together and take on the real haters? The real haters that exist on both sides of the imaginary line?

On this weekend that is supposed to be about love…let’s try to love thy neighbor…

And if you can’t love them, try liking them…

and if you can’t like them…

Think about accepting them for who they are, good and bad…

Think about respecting the opinion of someone who thinks differently than you.

Let’s think about not trying to look for reasons to hate.

Let’s look for reasons to not hate.

76 thoughts on “Anything Can Happen Friday: Valentine’s…”

  1. Matthew 5:44 commands us to “agape” our enemies. That would be a reason not to hate. We are commanded not to hate them. That agape would lead to respect.

    However, it does not say that we should not have any enemies. We should not unite or compromise with or condone evil. We may have to take stands that put us at odds with others. I’m thinking of Romans 1:18-32 when I imagine who an enemy might be.

    That means we can expect people to hate us because we don’t compromise or agree with them, but we can’t return that hate.

    Anyway, that’s my reason not to hate.

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      4. They dismissed two staffers last week because of some comments they’ve made in the past. So now the staff is fighting one another as to whether or not it was necessary. They also published an article saying how France is scared of “woke” culture…so you know….

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      7. You could do style, restaurant reviews, book reviews (obviously) museum openings, subway crimes and protests..I’ll cover weather (BWAAHAHAHA) and do stories on New Yorkers who move down here. 😜😉

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  5. Good message. I believe the extremists are the problem, not the 90% as you put it. We should be all be able to recognize that it’s not one side or the other that is a problem, but the fringes on both sides.

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  6. I’m a person who tends to give others the benefit of the doubt, even when they don’t deserve it. And no, I’m not talking about the 10 percent. I know what they’re about. No, I’m talking about the peeps who want the world to go backwards. They want to go back to “simpler times”, which were never quite so simple. They can and so say ignorant things, like, all the time.

    It’s hard giving them the benefit of the doubt when they really don’t want to hear MY side or any side that doesn’t jibe with their own.

    But I try.

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    2. Ok. I’ve been overthinking this…I think we have to remember that no time was “simple”. I certainly don’t want to use an outhouse….or share a bathroom with every apartment on my floor. I don’t like anyone living in the “past” because memories play tricks on us. Though I can’t help but think back to the early 70s…earth day…when it was decided that using trees to make paper bags was bad for the environment, and plastic bags were more environmentally friendly…we have to find a healthy balance and work to change the truly bad things

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      2. Yeah. I need to hold onto something. I’ve hit the COVID wall. I just got an email with headlines from People (don’t ask how I got on their email list) the headlines were Justin Timberlake apologizing to Britney and Janet Jackson, a paroled woman and a horrible story, how the show the Bachelor sucks, and how one of the Kardashians is mad that people don’t believe her daughter is a talented artist…when did this become normal?

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      3. I spoke with my Aunt today and she’s there. She’s been there.

        Normal . . . the definition of normal, methinks it needs to be changed because it just doesn’t carry the same meaning.

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      4. The thing is, now, we are all going to have PTSD…..and we need to think about that when we interact with ine another. I’m bad, but some of my friends, they’re worse, and these are strong strong people. Because on top of COVID, life just keeps rolling on, cancer, aging and it’s byproducts, whatever…and it’s like we aren’t supposed to grieve about these things cause if it’s not COVID it doesn’t matter. I know, I’m blathering….but I don’t think people have any idea what’s on the horizon

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  11. Himself has a tendency to be very black & white, whereas I’ve always been all about the grey. Rarely are people all bad. I usually find common ground with most, and am quick to put aside areas of disagreement where there is good to be found. I’m no saint, for I can be sarcastic & judgemental, but I do work hard to keep that under control. In all honesty, it’s exhausting either being around hate or negativity, or feeling those emotions. That notion of walking a mile in another’s shoes before judging them has always struck me as sound.

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  12. I’m usually a very positive person. I don’t think I have ever hated anyone in my life… that is until our 45th President. I admit it. For the first time in my life I experienced what it felt like to hate someone. I didn’t want harm to come to him, but I truly disliked his actions and hated what he was doing to Democracy. I kept telling myself not to feel that way, but it was the first time in my life I couldn’t find anything positive about someone.. Usually I can find one thing to like about someone. I’ve never hated my ex husband, we are great friends. I’ve never hated anyone that I can think of. And yet I had to turn off the Insurrection Impeachment trial today because I felt so much hatred toward the former President. It didn’t make me violent or anything, but it made me sad and sick to my stomach.

    I always wondered why people hated. Since I didn’t know what it felt like until now I finally understand. It’s a helplessness. I guess when people feel so helpless they lash out and spew hate. They have nowhere to go with their anger. So it turns to hatred.

    The key to not feeling that way? I imagine it’s love. I turned off the trial, wiped away tears for those who died at the capital, and decided I will scan my kindle library for a mystery or a romance to read instead. I can’t focus on the evil… the negativity. I need a happy ending.

    Since I am surviving cancer daily it’s easy to feel love And to be grateful. There were days in the last year and a half where I could have felt hateful towards everyone and everything because of my circumstances. But those going through such an ordeal can’t give in to such negativity or we don’t heal. We need to find love wherever we can. The beauty of a painting, a poem , a great book, a welcoming blogpost. Whatever it is.

    LA I love your blog. You give my pause to think about a multitude of subjects when I read it. I love that. And when people feel joy they don’t have time to hate. Oh, I can gripe really loud when I want to… but it doesn’t last long. We need to get it out… then move on and find some joy somewhere.

    I don’t have a spouse anymore, my second husband died, so my valentines will be my children and grandchildren on FaceTime. And I’m alive to celebrate another year. Pretty fabulous!
    Love and peace to all. ❤️✌️🎸❤️

    And BTW, I don’t love all my neighbors. Living in a condo you have some real nutcases that live nearby. But, I don’t hate them either. Not yet anyway. 😉

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    1. Oh I get exactly all the things you’re saying…and yes…the neighbor thing!! The things neighbors find to complain about….and I admit I have hated before…but the hate…it’s not working. We ate no closer to solving problems with education, homelessness, mental illness, addiction, anything. If we keep concentrating on hate, we won’t have anything left to fight for. We will just keep fighting against! FYI…I missed you so much!

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  16. I was thinking today of how culture has progressed from ghosting a person instead of having the courage to end a relationship to now wanting to cancel people which stems from hate. Hate is simply not worth the emotional and physical toll.

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  18. It would be nice to be able to just erase the hate, but I know I can only do my small part to remain receptive to all the people in pain out there. That’s where the hate begins. I will do my best to be kind but seek justice and not tolerate certain behaviors. Respect has to come from all sides.

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    1. Agreed. We all have to respect one another. The problem is we are all starting to feel disenfranchised. All of us. But the problems we faced 20 years ago, 10, 5…..they’ve still there. My cousins put a quote on Facebook the other day…”students, you are not falling behind. You have faced a year of pandemic.” Which is true, and wise words to a point….the problem is, kids are still going to go up a grade in May/June….but they haven’t learned anything that they need to go up a grade….us fighting is not going to help a generation of kids get to the next step. It’s only going to make things worse. If we don’t learn to sit at the table and talk it out…nothing is ever going to be solved. We will just be a bunch of people yelling at ine another because everyone feels they’re not being heard. Everyone has to step up and take personal responsibility and stop worrying about petty grievances and start worrying about the very large issues out there that need to be addressed

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      2. Exactly. I really fear for the kids today…they are going to become a “lost” generation. And I don’t want to hear hardships of other generations. That was then. This is now. And we need to work on healing. All of us. All of us need to be healed

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  20. Exactly! I’m so tired of this one-sided attitude, and the constant “justifications” for treating others horribly, which usually simply consist of some version of “they deserve it.” Considering that’s what abusers always say about their victims, I think that’s a rather dangerous attitude to have. As you say, it’s time to look for reasons not to hate. I have friends and family all over the board, politically and religiously, and you know what? They’re good people. They really are!

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    1. I’m tired of being thrown under the bus, and people expecting me to throw others under the bus because I’m trying to give the benefit if the doubt. Meanwhile, we aren’t solving anything. The big problems…they’re still there….

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  23. To quote Orson Welles in The Third Man –

    “in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. ”

    I rest my case.

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  24. There’s a lot of anger out there people are struggling to keep a lid on 😦 and the media tell us suicides are at an all time high. Things will get better, my 100 year old great aunt Penny was vaccinated in December, my mother late January and now we’re getting into the early sixties! Life will get better.

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