You know how I love to use quotes in my writing…

The reason we’re terrified of making choices, even little ones, is that we’re convinced we’ll make a wrong one. Again.

Simple Abundance Sarah Ban Breathnach

How good are you at choosing something?

I’ve told you the story of my husband and the kitchen tile- and how he will never ever pick out something for the house again because he is too afraid of making a mistake again…

But do you freeze up at the thought of having to make a choice?

Decision paralysis?

Research something for six months and still hem and haw?

Try six outfits on before you get dressed?

Change your mind on your meal as the waitestaff leaves your table?

Have fifty drafts in your wordpress draft folder?

Why are we so afraid of making mistakes?

I admit, I am a pretty good decision maker. I may research, or overthink it a bit, but I rarely actually hem and haw over something.

I just choose.

Of course, I have already sort of presorted things in my mind. My clothes are all the same color, and basically the same style. By this point in my life, I have my uniform. I know what I think is appropriate for different occasions- ie- I wear the same black dress, I just switch up the footware, the jewelry and the jacket layer up depending on the occasion and how much walking I’ll be doing.

If I’m at a restaurant I don’t worry about ordering something I’ve never had before: what’s the worst thing that happens? I don’t like it. My life doesn’t end because I tried chicken a la king and didn’t enjoy it…

My daughter will sometimes ask me if she should apply for something- she did it last week for a virtual alternative break program with her University.

I asked her these questions:

  1. Pros and cons
  2. Application fee too high?
  3. Was she locked in if she was chosen
  4. Downsides to applying

After these four questions, she knew her answer and she applied to the program. The worst thing that could happen is that she would waste a reference on something she wasn’t interested in.

Choosing something shouldn’t be rocket science: think about what you are choosing between. Ask yourself those type of questions.

Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen if you say “Yes”

What’s the worst thing that can happen if you say “No”?

Are you letting fear of the unknown get the better of you?

Are you scared of change?

Are you scared of living your best life?

Are you scared that you will make a mistake?

Are you scared you will fail?

We all need to remember that inertia is a choice too. It might be a passive choice, but it is a choice just the same.

Ok- I know I sound like some sort of two bit motivational speaker that appears on the odd channels on the TV at 3am…I’m guessing this is where I ask you to purchase the boxset videos of my motivational speeches…49.99 plus shipping and handling…and if you act now I will throw in a set of ginzu knives…

We have spent the past year scared…

We have spent the last year on hold…

If you want a vaccine, call up and ask for one. I know in New York State, they threw out some vaccines because there was some confusion about who exactly was eligible, so my guess is no other state is going to let that happen, so I’d say, if you want a vaccine, be proactive and ask…

There is no harm in asking for a vaccine. The worst they can say is “No. Not yet.”

But think about making choices that will enrich your life, not detract from it.

Just cause we are breathing doesn’t mean we are living…

Disclaimer: I am not advocating for or against the vaccine. I am merely stating that if you’ve been living in fear, now is the time to start taking control back.

Oddly, when I got the idea for this post a few months ago, I had no idea where I would go with it. 700 words and I’m still not quite sure what my point is…

I guess:

Stop stressing about little things.

Stop stressing about things that you can’t control.

Start living the life that you want to live.

Stop letting “things” hold you back.

We get one go round in life. Let’s make it a good one…

Stop worrying about which way you should go;

Just go…

Live…

49 thoughts on “Choices”

  3. Pretty sure you spelled a word wrong, but I kinda like it, footware. 😀 I am more of the impulsive type, but if it’s something that could have lasting consequences, I can get paralyzed. I hate shopping for clothes. Hate it! But that’s because I am lacking the gene for style. :p Happy Tuesday! I’m in some kinda mood. 🙂

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  4. If I am having a hard time deciding something major, I make a calendar note for some future date to make that decision and forget about it. When that reminder pops up, nine times out of ten, the decision seems obvious..it’s strange.

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  6. Life is odd, sometimes I make a decision, and by all standards it’s totally wrong. A year later I realize it was the perfect decision because I wasn’t someplace else, or I met someone I needed to know, or I learned the thing I needed but didn’t know I needed it. Life! ❤️

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  7. I agree. I’m the opposite of this post, but I’m surrounded by people for whom this is dead-on for a lot of reasons (e.g., perfectionism, fear of making a mistake, lack of internal trust, etc.).

    Anywho, do whatever you want, and if it doesn’t work out, make another choice next time.

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    1. Anything can end up having bad consequences. Last Friday when I went to Bed Bath I can assume I crossed the street before I had a walk sign. I took a chance. Because I technically broke a law and took a risk, I was most probably saved from being hit with flying glass….you can’t always know which decision will have the greatest impact on your life

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  12. I don’t tend to struggle when it comes to choices, big or small. And if I make what turns out to be a mistake, I don’t beat myself up. Life is too short. I do know there will be no vaccine going into this body of mine, if I have any say on the matter. I have been intentional about not getting flue shots, etc. for years now. Not on any meds, (except for coffee). Fun post!

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  15. A great post, LA. How do I order the Ginsu knives? Gosh that was funny. 😂😂 Alright, I would say, yep, people are worried about two polar extremes, which are not binary, being right, instead of wrong, and looking good, not bad. The issue? As you state, when we hold back on making choices, we are living someone else’s version of our life. Because, if we are concerned about being right and looking good, we are concerned about what others think of us. Therefore, living our life on their terms. Not living the authentic and inspirational life we are truly capable of.

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  16. Making choices is a strange one, some I make in the blink of an eye, others take me months. Strange thing is doing the maths I get the same amount wrong either way.

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  17. As you already read my One Word post, you know I chose Choices as my word for 2021. I enjoyed your post. Perhaps your point is we all need to be more aware of our motivations when making choices. My choice of words/actions usually revolve around my motivation for a desired outcome. But, sometimes I’ve experienced Paralysis by Analysis and have to pull back and re-evaluate what is actually the problem. 💜

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  18. Good advice! But I’m stuck back there at throwing out the vaccines……what a waste. No vaccines in sight at all in my neck of the woods…..not even for the elderly or hospital workers. I think they’ve so far done 1% of the population in Canada, mostly in Toronto and the bigger cities.

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  19. To me, what you’ve described here is sort of the flip side of FOMO. If I want to be trite I can add “Choices have consequences”. I have also been accused of suffering from Paralysis by Analysis to which I proudly plead guilty.
    It usually takes me forever to make a decision but when I finally do I stick to it because of course by then I have pretty much calculated the entire range of possible consequences but have also weighed and measure them vs. my desired outcome. On the other hand, one of the things that drives me crazy about my mom is that she will make a decision and then immediately change her mind. I don’t think she has FOMO, just trying to decipher what will make the other person happy as opposed to what she really wants to do. Since she does this with such lightening speed I don’t think she even bothers to look at any possible consequences her decision (or lack thereof) might have on herself.
    Back to my decision process and how it has been effected by COVID. I had no problem telling Mom it was unsafe to visit her friends but I waited until the last visit to ask one of my friends to cancel a visit with us for the same reason. We were both looking forward to seeing each other so much. This is the kind of thing my about-to-be-ex-spouse would have pointed out to me, being the wet blanket that he is. This near (and potentially fatal, I guess) mistake that I didn’t immediately consider was one of the few situations where I realize I will miss his ability to see the big picture, which is one of the qualities to which I was initially attracted all those years ago.

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