One of the more popular I wish I were on the beach reads this past summer was 28 Summers by Elin Hildebrand. I am about to reveal a major plot point so tread accordingly. SPOILER ALERT: though, what I reveal will become apparent after two chapters…
28 Summers is about two people who meet, fall in love, and realize that there are obstacles that will not allow them to be together as a couple. I know…I know…originality is key here…
As the couple embarks on their first weekend together, they manage to watch the movie “Same Time, Next Year” which is about a couple who meets up for exactly one weekend a year for a whole bunch of years…
So guess what the couple in our book decides to do?
I think the title sort of gives it away…
So the question of the day: What do you think about this controlled way of having a “relationship”?
Imagine being able to see only the best parts of someone? To never argue with them about who threw out the garbage and whether the toilet seat is up or down or has been left on massage by accident?
To look at someone with only love and lust? Can you imagine that? To see someone with fresh eyes for three days a year? To not speak to them or contact them for the other 362?
Would you be able to only see, touch, speak to this person for only three days a year?
What if your partner approached you and said that they wanted to have a weekend off from the relationship once a year?
What if they didn’t, but this is what they’ve been doing on their writer’s retreat/fishing weekend?
Ok….
Now that I may have planted a seed of doubt into everyone…
Is there merit to a relationship such as this?
Obviously, I know there are downfalls. Jealousy. Cheating. Morality.
But, could there be plusses?
Discuss:
Randomly chosen song of the day:
Makes for a clever story, but I don’t think we’d see life imitating art in this case. In order to sustain a hot white passion, or even a lukewarm grey friendship, people need face-time more often than one weekend a year.
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Good point. Can you maintain passion for someone if you never see/speak to them. Alas, I never rule anything out anymore. Truth is bizarre…
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I only look for the ‘best ‘ parts of my husband, and overlook his ‘faults’.
He does the same with me.
Our strengths and weaknesses balance each other – this has been our attitude for 46 years. π€πΌβπ·π»
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Thatβs perfect!
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πππΌ
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I love that!
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Thanks, loving someone makes it easy to overlook their faults, since we all have them. π€
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Amen to that!!!
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Very sceptical, that’s me. With some sort of contact, there’s a possibility. But with no contact? Best left in the book.
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Yup. I wondered that too
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My answer’s also “No.” And, I’m curious what the ‘special circumstances’ were beyond something like citizenship. I disapprove of adultery; it’s also not sustainable or honest. π
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They wanted different things out if life and wanted to live in different locations. I kept wondering if this was really love, or just scratching an itch
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You can’t have everything. It’s delusional to assume you could have a longtime lover without other committing factors.
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Agreed. Yet this book was fairly popular…almost 55m ratings on Goodreads…itβs probably someoneβs fantasy
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It’s usually called dating! Real life comes quickly so people are sometimes shocked at the reality and dailiness of life with someone.
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Of course. Reality just creeps in
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Or sometimes it comes in fast and hot.
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I read that book back in the summer and found the whole thing so unbelievable and so unrealistic, esp. the ending. As fairy-tale fiction, it flopped big time. Then last week I read the last of her winter series trilogy, set in St. John’s, Troubles in Paradise and decided I’m done with Elin Hilderbrand for good. She’s a good enough writer, but her books are full of shallow people who drink and eat too much, (the restaurant name dropping is so annoying) who have affairs with the wrong (usually married) people and always end up accidentally pregnant etc etc, but hey it all works out in the end.
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The ending was ridiculous. And there was so much in this book I thought was insipid. But this book was very popular…we both read it, and as we are highly intelligent people…people are drawn to this. Even 40 years ago there was a movie. So, what makes this topic interesting.
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Insipid is a good word for it. I guess people like what-if’s? What if you had married your first love? What if you had moved to a different city? Would your life be different, happier, etc? That’s the attraction, but I think we know the reality is much different.
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Agreed. But Iβm betting thereβs a whole bunch of people who are fantasizing about this.
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I remember watching Same Time Next Year but I don’t remember having a strong reaction that what they were doing was actually wrong, which in my opinion it is. I would never stand for that in my marriage (assuming of course I knew about it). Fun Fact: There was actually a cottage built for the movie, Same Time Next Year and for a while it was a really popular getaway spot. They partitioned it off and made two rooms and called one Same Time and the other Next Year.
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Oh thatβs a great fun fact! Wish it was still around!
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Sort of…Heritage House in Mendocino, CA.
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π
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I donβt see my husband as much as I would like so I cherish our time away and wouldnβt want to be with anyone else. We love to travel together and I canβt imagine traveling or having a weekend away with anyone else!! I know that sounds sappy but is what it is!!
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I want a same time next year, but by myself with room service and stack if books
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That I could go for!!!
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And this is why there are Fiction books. LOL! I enjoy her books, but no don’t think that would work in reality!
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But you know…truth/fiction…
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True. π
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I love Nantucket, so reading Elin’s books transports me, which is what I need right now. I’ve read five of her books, including 28 Summers. Honestly, I found the characters so annoying by the end. And it wasn’t a “fair relationship” at all. One person was married, while the other never is. It was not only unrealistic. It was pathetic.
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Omg i know! It made me so mad! I almost wish the woman was married and the guy was pining away for her!
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I know! It ruined the story for me. I just thought it was so unfair.
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Itβs was overly formulaic. And no surprises or anything at all. I saw such little character growth too
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If it wasn’t set in Nantucket, I wouldn’t have kept reading.
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I need books which are mindless, so I kept reading. Itβs almost like a palate cleanser for my brain. Especially this year. Like, I just read βAWoman is No Manβ which is excellent, but sad and infuriating and all things a good book is, but I needed read something fluffy, so Iβm reading βself careβ.
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π
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Communication, right? If the other half wants that weekend pass for whatever reason, it has to be agreed upon. A weekend pass by any other name is just cheating.
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Agreed. But as I keep reading about stuff like this, and less people wanting to partner up, I wonder if this wouldnβt benefit some. Iβm just spit balling, and agree that it has to be agreed upon.
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I agree. It just has to be communicated as such. Nothing wrong with what two people agree on, but when it gets to where it is “assumed” . . . well.
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Exactly
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I loved the movie Same Time Next Year but mostly for the portrait of life as it changed each year and the characters were affected by what was happening in the world? Itβs not for me, I find it difficult keeping one man happy, let alone two! Hey, but Iβm all for time alone on occasion, especially when finishing up a writing project! C
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Oh…I need time alone….
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Hmmmm. Interesting. I think if they were both in agreement, then, maybe. Hard to say, as the human condition is in so many ways opposite to this kind of relationship agreement. Fun to think about though. Oh, and great song choice, LA. I need to add Radiohead into my rotation. π
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Radiohead perfect for certain days…
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ππ
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I have a different perspective than most I read here. First, Same Time Next Year is one of my favorite films. Great actors, beautiful theme song and performances by two of the best “cabaret” singers. I watch and let the tears flow every time, which is probably an indication of my different perspective.
Even before I was married, but probably more so now that I’m going through a divorce, I could relate to what I saw as the main reasons the two main characters met up every year which was that their spouses didn’t relate to or understand them on a “deeper” level, or maybe it was just that they wanted to unburden themselves to someone who wasn’t personally and constantly invested in their respective daily “real” lives.
In some ways, I have relationships with many friends that I have developed, some consistently and others intermittently, all over the country. When I have a chance to reconnect with them, I feel like I can comfortably bare my soul to them and that they can give me their complete and undivided empathy and sympathy. I always feel better after these meetings and conversations, and I think they do too.
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This idea has been in a few books and such of late. I think if itβs being written about people are interested. I wonβt rule out any idea. I just think both parties need to agree
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