I used to check my SPAM folder once a month. About 99% were actually SPAM…weird messages, ads for ED medication guaranteed to be better and cheaper, etc etc.

Lately, however, I’ve been checking my SPAM folder on an almost daily basis. Some of my long time blog friends have ended up there. How? I don’t know. After three years of leaving comments on my blog, I’m guessing that should be some sort of clue that it’s an actual comment from an actual person.

But that’s just a weird WP algorithm glitch…

What about the comments that you get that you need to approve: first time caller so to speak: The ones that don’t make it to the SPAM folder…

How do you determine if it’s a real person or not?

I’ve had a bunch of comments lately that, on one hand appear completely harmless. But on the other hand, they seem a little too formulaic. How do you determine if someone is overly polite or if someone has a more formal tone but is actually just a new blogfriend?

What are the clues that you look for?

I try to go back to someone’s page- see if they actually write posts. See when the posts were written, what the content was, whatever.

But is this a good way to shush out spammers/actors? I mean, anyone can copy and post anything they want with probably little regard, so anyone can “fake” a website.

So do you look to see how many followers someone has? But there are problems to this method as well. Just because someone has a lot of followers doesn’t make them more legitimate: it really only makes them better at marketing. And a few followers doesn’t necessarily mean something fishy- it could just mean that the blogger hasn’t yet found an audience.

Does the commenter resemble you in any way? I remember one of my blog friends saying that she was reluctant to accept a comment from anyone who appeared to be much younger that her- she felt that there was no way a twenty something would legitimately read the blog of an almost senior citizen. Now I don’t look at the age: I follow bloggers that are very different from me because they are just good bloggers with something insightful to say. But is there something to be said about looking at the “About” section of a blogger before accepting them into the fold?

Other than offering a product for sale, or excessively long comments, what are the tell tale signs that someone is not for real?

What are the methods that you utilize when accepting comments or followers?

Highlights November 29

Hector’s- established 1949- a little bit of old NYC

Assuming that Health Care Professionals, First Responders and those who are at the absolute greatest risk of getting COVID-19- who gets the vaccine next?


Those over 65






those who live in nursing homes regardless of health conditions


low income individuals




Below should be a poll about whether or not the vaccine should be mandatory. If you can’t see it try visiting my actual site. I don’t know if it works in Reader:

Gratitude Saturday

New York City has decided to give all the buildings energy efficiency ratings. They began this program about two months ago.

I am grateful that in the middle of a global pandemic, with people moving out of the city, businesses going under and all the other fun stuff that has happened this year, that the city has decided that this is the best way to utilize time, money and resources. I know seeing the buildings graded has certainly improved my life…

I am also grateful that the above rated building which was built in the past few years under all the new city guidelines for energy efficiency has received a D. It’s good to know that the city has established the proper protocols and system of checks and balances.

Anything Can Happen Friday November 27

Last Friday I tried to do a blog where I used wordless diagrams.

Spoiler alert: I am not particularly artistic, not good with graphics on computers. If a template is premade, I’m fine, but outside of that…not so good.

So I spent time trying to work on the boxes.

But I got so caught up on making the boxes, I forgot what the point of my blog was. I got curtailed by the minutia, and thus completely missed highlighting the point I was trying to get across.


Here’s the lesson…

It’s easy to think about what you want the end result of something to be.

It is very hard to figure out all the steps that go into getting the desired result.

We sometimes choose to focus on the wrong things, and forget to pay attention to the basics. The basics, the nuts and bolts of how something is done aren’t sexy. They’re boring.

But without a proper plan, attention paid to the building block steps, you can’t reach your goal.

For my post, it was mild embarrassment that I screwed up. Some of my blog friends got a laugh. But it was only a post and something that I laughed about as soon as I realized my mistakes…

But there are other things in life that can be really bad if we don’t pay attention to the details…

Pay attention.


All parts of a plan are important.


I’ve been thinking a lot about karma recently. Do people who do bad things eventually get punished for their misdeeds?

I had a boss once. This guy was a Class One, arrogant, &^%$#@. He worked just within the boundaries of what was right and what was wrong. He treated women like crap. He wasn’t great with other people either. To be fair, he was a loving and devoted Father. He was a loving and devoted Husband after he cheated on his wife and she told him exactly what he needed to do to make amends.

But anyway.

This guy had it all. Made a lot of money. Had all the physical possessions any man can want. Had a really top job at a really top firm…

But he was still an a**^%$e.

I eventually quit and went on to greener pastures.

I later found out that he got cancer. Pretty bad. I haven’t heard about him in twenty years, so I can’t say that I know what happened to him. I’ve never goggled him, because he was part of my past, and I don’t need to relive things like horrible bosses.

But I can’t help but wonder if the cancer was a sort of karmic payback for all the aggravation and grief that he caused a whole lot of people.

So, was it karma that he got really sick?

But, when I think about the what goes around comes around sort of philosophy, I can’t help but wonder:

What about the people who didn’t do anything wrong, but still get hurt?

I think about this guy, and I think how his wife and daughters suffered watching him go through his cancer and treatement. Am I to assume that they were bad in some way and watching their father/husband suffer is their karmic payback?

Why do good people often have tragedy befall them? Are we to think that they did something bad in a past life?

In my post yesterday, I spoke of someone trying to stop a fare evader, someone trying to be a responsible citizen, and his reward was stitches and a trip to the ER during the pandemic.

What was his payback for?

I want to believe that all bad people get punished eventually, and that all good people have good things happen to them. But I don’t think it works like that.

Is there some spiritual judge and jury out there, doling out punishments and rewards?

Or it it just life, sometimes good and sometimes bad?

Is belief in karma just a way to get us through the bad times, something we can wrap ourselves up in when we need a little push to get through the day, the week or the year? The placebo we need when life keeps breaking us down? The thought that who ever or whatever wronged us will eventually get what they deserve?

Or is there something more to it?

What If

Let’s do a little hypothetical today:



August of pandemic time.

New York City.

Five people are waiting for a bus.

Bus arrives.

Person A decides not to pay the fare.

Person B says something to them about needing to pay the fare.

Person A uses an object to attack Person B with.

Person B is bleeding and injured at sight.

Person A runs away.

What do you think about the above scenario?

  1. Should people be required to pay for mass transit or should cities provide free mass transit?
  2. Should you say something if you see someone not following the rules?
  3. Is skipping out on a fare enough of a violation for someone else to get involved in?

Would you get involved if you saw someone doing something wrong? What are you personal parameters for situations where someone is breaking the rules?

Is it OK to break the law or not follow rules because we don’t want to, or because we think the law/rule is somehow flawed?

So we now all have our thoughts on this hypothetical scenario….

What if I told you that this situation wasn’t hypothetical? That this happened at the bus stop directly under by bedroom window? That my daughter and I heard the screaming and ran to the window and saw the bleeding victim and people around trying to help him and making sure an ambulance got to the scene? That the object was a skateboard? That the scene was witnessed by at least five people including someone who lives in my building? That the police came to our building to look at the security camera footage?

Have your thoughts changed at all?

What are your thoughts on any, or all, of this story?


No. No. Yes. No. No. Yes.

I don’t like pedophilia. I don’t even like typing the word.

I also don’t like:

  • abuse of any variety
  • bullying
  • rape
  • incest
  • harassment
  • gaslighting
  • cheating
  • emotional blackmail
  • regular blackmail
  • misogyny
  • embezzlement
  • burglary
  • mugging
  • shoplifting
  • smoking
  • drugs
  • drug abuse
  • alcoholism
  • over doses
  • suicide
  • parents who skip out on children
  • racism
  • sexism
  • xenophobia
  • homophobia
  • anything that means someone is going to be hurt physically or emotionally

Does this mean that none of these subjects should ever be addressed in movies. television, books. music, podcasts, whatever?

A few months ago Netflix had on it’s rotation a movie that involved teenage prostitutes, I believe. To be honest, I didn’t even look at this show enough to want to watch it, and I didn’t even want to click on it because I didn’t want to be counted as someone interested in the subject.

But boy did I hear about the controversy.

My daughter told me we had to get rid of netflix because they shouldn’t show a movie that is pro pedophile

So then we began a conversation about censorship.

Who determines which subjects can be shown, and which ones can’t?

My daughter argued that we don’t ever want to give pedophiles a voice. And I agree with that statement. Pedophilia is wrong. Always.

Personally, I am really worried about the current addiction crisis. I think the amount of people we are losing to drug overdoses is ridiculous.

Do you think they should stop making movies. TV, books etc. that show drug use as being a thing that people do?

I have a whole list of things that I don’t like. A whole list of things that I don’t think people should do. Things that are bad for all involved.

Should we not ever discuss any of these things?

How do we determine a taboo topic? Do we elect a jury to decide what is decent and what is not?

We have a ratings system for movies, and warnings on songs and TV shows. Yet, the very people that these warning are supposed to protect are very often the group that is targeted for those songs, books and shows.

When I was a kid, Porky’s was a really raunchy popular movie. I remember seeing it, and I don’t believe that I was 17 yet. Nor were the vast majority of kids in the theater.

When I was twelve my Mother told me that I wasn’t allowed to read “Forever” by Judy Blume because it was about premarital s-e-x…

How quickly do you think I got my hands on that book and read it?

What about WAP?

Does censorship work?

If we stop producing things with those taboo topics, will people stop doing these bad things?

Is it better to try to have conversations about these topics?

Do you think that there are certain things that should not be discussed in books, movies, music and/0r any form of art?

Highlights November 22

Brownies- first thing baked in my new oven
Guess who got their hair colored?
Three things came to mind when I saw this: 1) Is this cultural appropriation? 2) This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile 3) Should I send my Mother in Law one just to see her reaction?
Levain is known for making the most decadent chocolate chip walnut cookies ever. I prefer their chocolate brioche, which I think is a worth a visit to NYC for. FYI- they are branching out to other cities!
This is from Oath Pizza. You get to choose your own toppings in a very stress free way. It’s more flatbread than New York style crust but it is delicious. Shout out to the amazing guy who helped us. We got there when it opened and he singlehandedly got all the ovens heated, got ingredients sorted, handled a boatload of pick up orders as well as in person customers- with a smile and great attitude.

The results of last weeks survey:

Do You Plan of taking the COVID-19 vaccine when it comes out?


Yes, but I plan on waiting at least three months


Yes, as soon as I’m eligible


Not sure


No, I think it was too rushed


No, I am anti vax


Maybe, depends on who developed it


Haven’t thought about it


No, I have a pre existing condition which precludes me from participating


Maybe, depends on where manufactured


Below you will hopefully again find a two question survey about the vaccine: you may have to click on my actual site in order to participate.

Gratitude Saturday November 21

As some of you may know, there was a huge ransomware/cyber hacking thing last month that caused many companies a whole bunch of grief. One of these companies was Barnes and Noble.

This attack directly impacted me because I was unable to access my ereader library on my nook app.

Which means I didn’t have the ability to read the books that I was reading at the time, nor open the new book that I had purchased for about a week…

As a rule, I use the Barnes and Noble app because frankly, I give Amazon enough of my business: they don’t need to own my reading as well. And I’m still a little bit annoyed that they helped put bookstores out of business and then opened physical stores…

But anyway…

I admit that I am grateful that I was able to access a book via Kindle so that I had something to read.

I am grateful that my personal info was not compromised during the hack.

I am grateful that Barnes and Noble was able to get the show running again and I was able to read my books.

I am also grateful that somehow my daughter’s online reading wasn’t affected (she wasn’t stupid enough to think that deleting the app and reuploading it would solve everything) and she was able to continue reading her text books. Could you imagine saying to your Professor “Sorry I couldn’t read the assignment. My reading app was hacked.”? Talk about a dog ate the homework story…