My Husband and I recently finished the Netflix show Away. I enjoyed the show: I like character driven shows and I loved how the characters in this unfolded and grew/changed throughout the course of the episodes. I give it a 👍

So my family was discussing this show over dinner, and my Husband asked:

“Is the show renewed?”

Before I had a chance to answer, which means my daughter jumped in really quickly, she responded:

“Did you google will this show be renewed?

My Husband and I looked at each other….

“No. I didn’t google that.” I said.

My daughter laughed the laugh of the Gen Z who knows everything. “Well” she stated “That’s how shows get renewed. It’s based on how many people google, tweet or respond to a show on social media.”

Whatever happened to Nielson? Remember those ratings guys? Sweeps months? Advertising dollars?

It’s a brave new world out there and I’m not even sure I want to be a part of it.

I freely admit that I have never googled a TV show to see if something is returning. The only time I google anything about TV is when I’m watching a show and I see an actor and I can’t place where I’ve seen them before. I hop on IMDB and figure it out. But my TV googling stops there…

Do you google TV shows?

Do you tweet about TV?

Do you do anything on social media revolving that box or computer or anything that puts out shows?

Are you part of this brave, new world?

Is my lack of social media presence the reason why I can rarely find anything I like on TV?

????????

1. What are the shows on tv/streaming/whatever that you currently enjoy?
2. Do you go on social media to talk/read about these shows?
3. What do you think makes a show renewable?
4. Do you like TV or find it a necessary evil?
5. Do you watch/stream less than five hours of TV a week, excluding news?

Discuss anything you want about TV/streaming…

I am not a chef.

However…

I love to cook.

I love to look through magazines: old school. I get Real Simple and Good Housekeeping: I love flipping actual pages and looking at glossy 8×10 pictures of delicious food. This makes me excited, knowing that I can create a reasonable taste facsimile to anything I see on the page.

Dutifully, when I finish pretending to read all the articles, I rip out recipes and I put them in a folder. Every Sunday I hand the folder to my daughter and husband and tell them to pick out a recipe: everyone gets a choice. But I pick all the other meals: after all I’m the one shopping and prepping and cooking…

My daughter is usually game for this experience. She rifles through and comes up with something. My Husband will grumble that there’s nothing good in the folder. This in itself is a microcosm of how people are: some will work within the framework that’s provided, while others will complain without adding a viable solution.

My Husband will say something like, how about gumbo?

Have you ever made gumbo?

Do you have any idea how long you have to stir a roux?

Or he’ll ask about a long, carefully braised meat…in the middle of the summer when it’s 93 degrees and humid and I can think of nothing I’d like more than having the oven on for three hours…does make you consider that choice can be a bad thing…

But you know what happens along the way, when you give people a little bit of say in something…

Even your ever optimistic daughter will start to get a little big for her britches.

Last week I made a fish stew.

I’m started hearing complaints about the fish stew even before I had even made the fish stew…

But my daughter said- “It’s fine. But it’s never something you would order in a restaurant…”

I looked at her…

I looked at her hard…

“Well” she stuttered “I’m not comparing you to a restaurant. I mean, I know you’re not a restaurant. I just mean that this doesn’t sound exciting…”

I still looked at her as I closed the folder on my desk, the fish stew prominently in front of me…

Husband chimed in “We mean, fish stew is fine, but do we ever just want fine?”

I stood up from my desk, my full five foot two inch persona glaring at them:

“I have canned tomato’s. I have a half bag of frozen shrimp. I have celery. The only thing I need to pick up is a piece of cod. I use up things I have in the house.” I am really big on using up what’s in the house “It’s also a one pot meal.” Sorry, not sorry, but who doesn’t love a one pot meal?

They glared at me…

I pointed at both of them: “Feel free to make your own dinner…”

Insert grumbling noises here…

So I made the fish stew.

They complained.

But should you ever really complain to the person making your food?

Wonder what I’ll make them tonight…

Guess what happened a few weeks ago?

I went from being a wordpress.com to a .com!

How exciting is that?

Just when everyone is considering leaving WordPress because block editor isn’t as easy as stacking a bunch of blocks, I take ownership and buy my domain name.

Huzzah.

It was a weird feeling plunking down that money. My first thought, of course, was that I would get bored and stop writing. Because isn’t that what always happens? As soon as you invest in something the novelty erodes and you never pick it up again?

But, for now, I’m still here…

This is where you would stand up and cheer if we were all together in a packed room and I was unveiling my new product. Chants of LA LA LA would be echoing off the walls. But since we can’t actually be together for this momentous announcement, I will just run the soundtrack through my head…

LA

LA

LA

But anyway…

It did feel a little scary when I first saw the plain .com. I mean, what right do I have to an actual domain name? Does having wordpress in there have any street cred? Is having my own .com entitle me to use the term street cred?

I don’t sell anything (except my discount brand of pragmatism) I have no dreams of becoming viral (take that in any sense of the word…no post being spread millions of times, no testing positive for anything) So what am I?

Thoughts of am I a fraud? popped through my head. I mean, do I really have any idea what I’m saying everyday when I spout my philosophies on just about everything? Or an I just spouting?

And then the pragmatic side took hold real hard.

Of course I’m just spouting. But really, so is everyone else.

We all think things and say things and wonder what comes next.

We are all just getting through the day, hoping that tomorrow will be just a little better. Even if out lives are 100% perfect at that moment, we optimistically think, maybe life can be just a little better tomorrow…

This is the moment in my blog where I would usually check the word count… Has anyone figured out how to check word count in block editor? Because I do miss that… I miss that little reminder of when I’ve babbled endlessly for a hundred or so too many words…

So I’ll just sign off for now.

Welcome to wakinguponthewrongsideof50.com

I aim to be a little snarky, a little sarcastic, 25% pessimist, 25% optimist and 100% myself.

Thank you and Good Night.

the crowd roars as I exit the stage in a pillar of smoke and “Eye of the Tiger” plays in the background.

My other highlight was attending a lecture given by one of my daughter’s professors. He used some of her work for a project. Seeing your child’s work displayed never fails to make me happy. But what’s better is seeing your kid’s face light up when they realize the Prof has shown their work….as they wave across the room “That’s my thing! That’s my project.”

The bakery down the street from me makes the most amazing tea lattes.

I was slowly becoming addicted to frothy milk in my beverages.

But that froth comes with a price…and I could foresee that tea latte’s were about to become an integral part of my life.

So I invested in a coffee frother…

I am so grateful for my frother because I”m saving money and I’m giving myself a little treat every day…

Instead of Friday Favorites, I’m now going to make Friday’s a surprise. You have to tune in to find out if it will be a trick or a treat…

Today is a quiz:

1. 5+5+________
2. Is Pluto a planet?
3. What is the difference between they’re, their and there?
4. Is America a democracy or a republic?

ANSWERS:

1. 10. Except if you go to a school that has the show your work model. Then the answer can be anything you want as long as you show your work. True story: my daughter can do a lot of math in her head, so when it came to these sorts of problems she would just write down an answer. She got 5 out of 10 points for the correct answer. Another student who wrote down 13 got 8 points out of 10 because they showed all their little stickpeople to designate that they did work… I guess in the real world when someone gives you change of .70 instead of 7.00 you immediately say- That’s fine I know you did the work and it’s OK if you don’t know how to do basic math…
2. Pluto is now recognized as a dwarf planet. As new information comes to light, science updates its books and definition. That is progress because we know what was wrong before, or right before because we are able to garner more evidence. (fyi- there is no sarcasm intended here. It is a smart to fix/amend things when more info is gathered. No one made a mistake. They just didn’t know certain things before)
3. They’re (they are) going to the movies. Would you put that book over there? Do you want to go to their house for dinner? Does it matter if we use the correct words? I don’t know. But my daughter now ends her emails with the pronouns she/her uses …
4. A constitutional or federal democratic republic. Does it matter? Probably not. But does it really matter how we interpret things like the constitution?

Back during the 2008 financial crisis, JP Morgan Chase took over Bear Stearns. When asked how he knew what to “pay” for BS, CEO Jamie Dimon of JPMC said something along the lines of “How do you value a house? Now how do you value that house when it’s on fire?”

Right now, NYC is that house on fire…

Last week, Moody’s Investor Service downgraded New York City.

What does that mean?

Simply, it will cost NYC more to borrow money…

But you know, it’s never good to be downgraded…

I did a simple research experiment yesterday when I walked to the supermarket. I walked down the west side of Second Avenue, between 24th and 25th St. There are seven entrances on that little strip of land. Three stores are in business. Three stores are for rent. One building is a methadone clinic.

From living around here, I know that they’ve been trying to relocate the meth clinic for years. Rent too high, building too gross.

Now let’s think about the 50% occupancy rate. How do you think something is doing when it’s only half full?

Let’s think about the life expectancy of the businesses that are still there: Subway sandwich shop, Cell phone provider, dry cleaner.

What are the chances that any, or all of these businesses survive?

Subway shops are a franchise and individually owned. This particular location was closed from March to July. I walk by there often and I rarely see anyone in there. It comes down to how much money does the owner want to use to keep this location afloat.

Cell phone provider? How many physical cell phone stores do we actually need now that we can get 24 hour shipping on a new phone?

Dry cleaner. Pre pandemic, having a cleaners was a pretty good business. There are at least 6 dry cleaners within a five minute walk of this place, including one directly across the street. On a personal level, I have not dropped off anything at the cleaners since early March. Do you think the majority are like me or not?

What is my prediction for these stores? One will be out of business by December 31. One will be out of business by March 1.

What does all this mean? Extrapolate. If every little cross section of the city were to have a 50% occupancy rate, with greater than average chance of it hitting 75%, How do you think things will work out?

I know you glass half full people are all saying: “But what about the blocks with 75% occupancy?” To which I answer…”What about the ones with 25%? What about the ones with 0?”

Empty storefronts with no hope of reopening are a bad thing…

FYI: According the the NY Restaurant Association, 9 out of 10 NYC restaurants did not make rent in August. And now they’re working at 25% capacity unless they are blessed with a great outdoor set up and pleasant weather. Even then….will it work?

So now that you get an idea about all the businesses that won’t be paying rent and taxes…

Let’s get to the meat of NYC…office space.

Right now there is still a 25% occupancy rule for NYC buildings. That aside, maybe there’s actually 15-20% of employees showing up to physical office locations. Maybe. When my husband goes into the office he can count on two hands how many people are on the floor…

You must begin to question whether or not most businesses need office space.

If you’re an employer, do you want to pay rent and taxes on locations that you really don’t need? Isn’t everyone always looking for a way to cut costs?

Do organizations need physical space?

If the answer is “No” then what do you do with all the office space?

I know that some of you are going to say: “Make them into shelters for the homeless. Or the elderly.”

Ok. Let’s think about that. For the time being we will forget the pesky little issues of rezoning, renovating, loss of rent, loss of tax revenue, and upkeep. We’ll make believe that unicorns fly over rainbows and these things don’t matter…

Do you have any idea how much office space is in Manhattan alone?

My Husband normally works in a 59 story office building that houses at least 1000 people a floor- and I’d say that’s a very conservative number…

That’s one building…

Do you know how many buildings there are?

Buildings that could go to 20% occupancy as leases run out?

Let’s take a peak at residents.

My apartment building has 17 floors of residents. Assume there are fifteen residents per floor. Now assume that half of those people got out of dodge back in March. If you could leave NYC you did…

Presently there are over 15,000 unoccupied apartments in NYC. That is a record high number of empty places. That number is only going to go up as people’s leases run out and the moving trucks come by.

But what does all this really mean?

Less people means less people spending money here, both on taxes and actual goods and services…

Taxes will go up. Services will be cut. We already know that it’s already become more expensive to borrow money because NYC is becoming a very risky investment…

Middle class people, anyone with an alternate opportunity, will start to move out…

What will be left?

Broadway- closed till at least June 2021. Philharmonic. Carnegie Hall. Madison Square Garden…empty…

Every week I show you pictures of the things that I love about my city. I do this because this is how I like to look at it. But there are other pictures I could send you, the other things I see on a daily basis…

Some of you won’t care if NYC falls. Some will actually be glad. I get that. We’re an arrogant bunch of assholes out here…

But before we completely rewrite history, think back to the 70’s…the last time NYC fell…how did the late 70’s work out for all of you?

One of our friends asked if it was a good time to invest in NYC, you know, buy low sell high. I mean, NYC does always bounce back…doesn’t matter…we just pick ourselves up, dust off and keep on keeping on.

But this time, if people don’t see a need to actually do things here, work or play or whatever…

what exactly would you be investing in?

Imagine a household, where a man lives with his 25 and 27 year old children…

For today’s purposes, we are going to define adult children as those who are not on your health insurance and are over twenty-five. We are going to define parent as the person paying the majority of the bills. We’re going to leave the 18-24’s alone for the time being.

So there you are, a parent, and both your adult children live with you…

Do you expect your children to ask permission to do certain things with regards to the house?

Do you expect them to discuss certain things with you before they happen?

Do you treat them as completely equal with regards to how things are done?

Like, if your child wanted to bring home a pet, would you expect them to ask your permission/discuss with you?

Do you have the right to say “No” if asked?

Does the parent have the right to bring home a pet without asking the others?

What about other things?

Building a firepit in the backyard?

Putting an above ground pool in the backyard?

Buying a gun?

Having someone spend the night?

Having a significant other move in?

Partaking of illegal substances?

Growing illegal substances?

Party?

How does the parent/child dynamic shift as time passes?

Do any of these expectations shift if the child financially splitting the cost of things?

If the child is paying the majority of the bills?

Please pick any or all parts of this discussion and, you know, discuss…

We have a building aquaintance.

I always thought he was a little controlling of his girlfriend, but in the past, when I didn’t see him much, I didn’t have enough evidence, I guess is the only word I can think of.

As pandemic has gone on, and I’ve seen more of her, I really don’t like how he controls her. We were hanging out one night, and he told her it was time to go home…FYI we were playing cards. And this wasn’t a “you’re so sexy and I can’t wait to get alone with you”- this was almost like a Father telling his child that it was bedtime. (FYI- he’s about fifteen years older than her- you know how I feel about large age differences)

I’ve seen him ask her why she isn’t wearing things that he bought her.

I’ve seen him talk about how he picked out all the clothes that she had on on a particular day.

I’ve seen him put food on her plate, or not pass her things.

I’ve heard him blame her for things that have gone wrong that have nothing to do with her.

His manipulations are often so overt that my Husband noticed it.

Do you know how overt things have to be for him to notice something?

I mean, it literally has to be the only thing in his line of vision…

So here’s the thing: we are friendly with this couple via the guy: he and my husband became friends which is why we hang with them.

My issues are:

1. I don’t know this woman that well. I don’t know anything about the situation really, I only know what I see. But I don’t like the way he treats her. Should it matter to me? Should I ask her how she is? Should I completely stay out of it?
2. Should we stop hanging out with them? Do I want to witness manipulative, bullying behavior?

What would you do in this situation?

What sort of acquaintance boundaries do you have?

When is a situation worth speaking up?

I have no proof that he is hurting her, just inklings that he’s being emotionally and verbally abusive to some level. Is that enough info to say anything?

What say you?

It’s funny that I chose this topic for today. Sorry- this wasn’t supposed to be a rant but sometimes that’s just how the dice fall…

The CEO of my Husband’s company said today that he doesn’t see a return to normalcy till the middle of next year.

Upon hearing this my Husband had the following revelation:

“In the beginning of this you (to me) were really annoying me, but now I’ve gotten used to it.”

To which I responded: “Things have not gotten better to me.”

This went down the path of how I don’t feel comfortable in my own house anymore because I can’t have this many people around in this small a space 24/7…

To which my Husband said:

No- that’s in your mind. You’re uncomfortable in your own mind.

Which lead me down the path of all the things that he says that lead me to feeling uncomfortable in the house…

1. About six weeks ago, the milk in the container was supposedly sour (I had it in my tea that morning so I knew it wasn’t sour, but anyway) Of course, I’m supposed to know the exact moment that milk sours and have a new milk ready and waiting….(don’t get me started on that)…so now…every morning…when my Husband makes his coffee, he takes the container of milk out, and brings it over for me to sniff before he uses it. He thinks he’s hilarious. I think that one morning I’m going to hit the milk back up at him…
2. If he is in a zoom meeting, I’m supposed to be quiet. He gets mad if I’m sitting on the couch reading or doing something quiet.
3. The exercise bike is in the dining alcove which can be seen from the living room and kitchen. He asks that I go somewhere else when he wants to ride because I make him uncomfortable
4. If I choose to reorganize something, because it calms me and gives me a sense of control and keeps my hands busy so I don’t strangle him, he makes a comment about it…
5. Yesterday I was on my Zoom call with my tea society…something that I look forward to each month (the organizer sends us the samples in the mail and we taste them and compare them together. All I get is backhanded comments…

And I could go on, but you get the point…

Undoubtedly I do many things that also annoy him (obviously at the onset of pandemic season)

Am I selfish because I want to feel a little bit normal?

Is he selfish because he just doesn’t understand my point of view?

When it comes down to it, what is selfish behavior?

Is it simply not thinking about what the other person is going through at the moment?

How do you define selfish behavior?

What is an example (real or hypothetical) of it?