I love a good argument.

And by that I mean I love to debate ideas with people. I love to think of a premise or situation or whatever, and bat it around. Disclaimer: I do not debate politics, religion and in some cases, money.

I like to know what people think. I like to know how someone came to a certain conclusion. I like to know what makes people think. I love anything that involves words, theories and ideas.

However:

In my personal life, I do not like conflict. I try to avoid large family fights. I’m a believer in pick your battles. I don’t call names. I don’t bring up things from the past.

The other thing I don’t do is pick fights with other people on social media.

I have a very lean (and getting leaner by the day) Facebook group. I have never said anything negative on the Facebook page of another person. I have never gotten into a fight with a friend of a friend.

I don’t tweet. At all. I mean, I don’t even have an account.

I don’t have any of the social media apps that many do.

I’m more luddite than I am social media savvy….

Yet….

I know people who will get into arguments with friends of friends if friends on social media.

And the tenor of the arguments declines quickly.

Friends of my sister have told my mother to STOP SCREAMING (my Mother only writes in caps) and told her to up her meds.

My sister will write FB posts about fights she has gotten into with friends of friends on social media.

(Ok- now that I’m thinking about it, maybe this is something only members of my family do)

So……

What’s the point of arguing with people that you don’t know on social media?

Does it really make you feel better?

Does it make you a better person to tell someone that they are crazy or stupid?

Do you think your ideas will be received better if you denigrate the person with whom you are conversing?

Does anger make your point, idea or theory better and more valid?

Is it reasonable to have a verbal spar with someone that you don’t know, based on one thing that you read that they said, and where you might not know the context of the statement?

I try to keep my blog comments positive. (well, on other peoples blogs anyway- on my own I really try to be nice, but the other day I almost ripped into someone…but anyway) In fact, I often use emojis so that my 👍❤🤞😢😒😘 is read exactly how I intended it to be.

Only once in my years of blogging have I commented negatively on the blog of someone I didn’t know well. The blogger said that you shouldn’t tell your kids “I love you” with adding something like “I love you because you cleaned up, or because you’re a kind person.” I told that blogger that there should be no qualifiers to love, and that those words should be said often to the people that you love, especially kids.

So there you go…

Do you argue with people you don’t know on social media platforms?

Do you think it’s a positive thing or negative?

What do you think of people who call people stupid?

87 thoughts on “Let Me Respond to That

  1. Some years ago, I did participate in dialogues on FB. It was always about the ideas – I would never make it about the person or denigrate them. But now I don’t really look at that sort of thing – doesn’t add to my well-being. I like the discussions here on your blog, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like dialogue about ideas…out if the box thoughts. I don’t like name calling, or when people tell you you’re crazy? What’s the point of that? Isn’t there a way to accept what someone else states, simply disagree and then move on?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to try to join discussions on Facebook in PTA groups and such. I don’t anymore. My brother has deleted posts on Facebook because a friend of ours and our half brother will fight in the comments of random posts. It’s crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like an argument…it’s the basic premise behind my blog. But you’re dead on…people are illogical and hypocritical. And they don’t know how to listen and respond to what was just said

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Like you, I tend to take a deep breath and move on. Albeit muttering to myself haha. Sometimes I get irked by reading complete falsehoods and fiction masquerading as fact but I’ve come to realise that it’s my issue not theirs. That said, it still annoys me as facts should not be something we distort until they serve our purposes.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My sister and mother have different ideologies. Yet both spout such utter nonsense, or make horrible arguments that I can no longer discuss anything with either of them

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sometimes people engage in a pissing contests on someone else’s blog in the comments…

    Like you, I’m all for dialogue and exchange of information, POV and all that, but keep it civil. If you want to be rude or obnoxious or pick on a blogger who is commenting on MY blog because you don’t like their opinion, take it to your own platform. Or better yet, unplug.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. I think we need to discuss our differing opinions. But, to pick n others who have a different opinion? Why? Isn’t that bullying because someone is different?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t like conflict. That being said, I have been known to speak my mind and speak up
    for myself in certain situations and it may turn into an argument. Such as I was at the grocery store, standing on the 6 foot apart start and some girl squeezes right in front of me so I called her on it. She insisted I was not in line because I was too far away from the person in front of me. I pointed out the round dots and she said they didn’t matter any more. I told her that yes they did and manners still mattered. Normally I would let it go but I had just a couple things in my cart and she had a huge cartful and she was so arrogant. She wouldn’t budge. But on this day Karma was my friend and they opened the lane next to me and the clerk told me to come over there!! Conflict over!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I general,y avoid conflict except in situations
      Ike you described. Or with customer service. I think you have to figure out when you need to speak up, and when you should let it slide

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t mind an exchange of ideas or a dialogue – I’m all for that. I dislike conflict though and in my experience of social media something that starts as simple exchange of thoughts can turn nasty so tbh I avoid ‘conversations’ on Facebook in particular now.
    I also think the word stupid directed at another person is unacceptable. I believe it does long term damage. I had one of my high school teachers call me a bimbo once and it took me until my 40s to shake off that belief about myself. IMO it’s just not on.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m a 9 on the Enneagram scale, which means I avoid conflict at all costs, and prefer kindness or silence. It’s my burden to bear. I had a comment a few weeks ago in my blog from a blogger I didn’t know. She basically claimed I was a psychopath in need of therapy. Isn’t that why I blog? Anywho…I agree, if you can’t be civil, compassionate and kind don’t read my blog! C

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had a bizarre comment a few weeks ago. Will blog about it eventually…but yeah…you can question my ideas…but don’t comment on me personally. Or if you make a comment, make it a good one

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know. When someone defames you personally. We take risks when we blog. We open ourselves up to the world, as well as ourselves. We need to respect others, and accept them for who they are…

        Liked by 2 people

  8. Arguing with people on social media just fuels them. Especially the trolls and bullies. They aim to be provocative and consider it a victory when someone stoops to their level and responds with abuse and name-calling. Even trying to offer logic and reason to people who post outrageous things is ineffective. Their minds won’t be changed, and we’ve only brought them more attention. If enough of us just ignore them–don’t read them, don’t click, don’t respond in any way–they will eventually fade into well-deserved obscurity.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t argue with people on social media. What’s the point? Are you really going to change their mind? If I am negative at all, it’s because I’m saying something like, “I didn’t like that book. I didn’t think it was written well”, and that’s about the end of it.

    I don’t have a Twitter account, either.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t understand Twitter, I mean fact that some people love it so much. Commenting on a book, or movie is different. That’s an opinion. But trying to force your ideas into someone else? That’s something else. And the ones I dislike the most are those who quote from something they watched and actually have no opinion. They just regurgitate someone else

      Like

  10. I really try to avoid arguing with anyone in general, but even more so, people I don’t know. A big part of this is because I cannot stand conflict of any kind, but also because I used to be part of an online group and knew several people that just loved to argue simply for the sake of trying to twist another person into knots. The entire purpose was ugly feeling and malicious because it really wasn’t about attempting to have a true conversation or an attempt at understanding, but trying to get to a point where they could berate another and start calling them names and making them look stupid. In too many situations, the people involved and willing to argue are also the ones that will never see things differently and often resort to the name calling and attempts to belittle so there is no purpose to engaging in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have no need to argue with strangers– or family members for that matter. Whatever kids, is my approach. [However I will say that I sometimes wonder if people who get into these intense online arguments are doing so accidentally because they don’t communicate well using the written word.]

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I believe that social media allows people to write things they would never say face to face. It began with email years ago. Sitting on the board of my kids’ swim team, I’d get lengthy negative emails from a parent I had just spoken to on deck an hour before. They were pleasant and smiling in person and awful and ugly in their emails. Social media adds further distance and people tend to let it rip.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. No, I do not engage in drama of any kind. I have removed people who do so. I dislike confrontation, but will stand up for myself, and others, when necessary. However, I think I do that without stooping to name calling or denigrating people.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. And the spelling police – drives me crazy – leave other people alone and if you can’t say something nice say nothing at all. Honestly sometimes I wonder if people like that are stuck in sixth grade or something.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I just think it’s so rude when people correct others in any way. It’s just so ridiculous. I’ve never seen it on here but on Facebook it was crazy for a while. Those were times I did comment to take on a particularly nasty and mean-spirited person. (Not someone on my friends list) I simply pointed out the spelling error did not take away from the meaning of the post. After a while I didn’t see this person commenting on spelling any more. (I felt like I won, now that was childish too haha.)

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I already knew that you like a discussion. You like to prod an idea for reaction but not for conflict. I dislike conflict and I have one contact who seems to like to post negative reactions to what I post. I just delete his comment and do not argue with him. Generally speaking I think I prefer to stay silent if I disagree with someone instead of trying to change their mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Shit-posters aside, I think the missive as a medium, irrespective of the forum, precludes…let’s make that; damn near impossible to share any sense of subtext. Hence dialouge can’t help but dumb down, distort, turn dismissive and then destructive. You can use alliteration though…

    Like

  16. Heaven know why the media take social media criticism seriously (especially TWITTER!). We let off steam about whatever, no one really gets offended or upset, but then you see specific Tweets appear on mainstream news………………. madness!

    (Personally, I’m never critical on blogs what’s the point?)

    Like

  17. I often try to engage in conversation on social media platforms but I don’t believe in being argumentative. Everyone is entitled to an opinion no matter how right, wrong, smart or stupid…No use calling someone out on how they form an opinion. There are just way too many trolls online.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Do not have a twitter account (nor instagram, do have a FB account, but closing it down in the next few days. We watched the Netflix original documentary last night (The Social Dilemma) and have decided to pull the plug on FB and everything Google. Would highly recommend if you haven’t seen it already. I absolutely not engage in anything snarky, on line. I too love to have a robust conversation w/ someone who doesn’t see the world the same as myself, as long as there is a mutual foundation of respect. Those “rules you mentioned @ the beginning are very similar to ones we learned early on in our marriage, about how to have a good fight…no name calling, no bringing up past stuff (called going historical) , etc. etc. thoughtful post. DM

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! I haven’t seen social dilemma yet but plan on it. I’m barely on Facebook anymore. The negativity and nastiness is beyond me…but agreed, I love to actually discuss things…but out if the box, actual thinking things. I don’t want to talk to someone who parrots what they heard somewhere else

      Like

  19. I remember getting into an “argument ” on fb because a member of a homeschool group I was in informed me that I have bipolar because God is punishing me for a sin that I need to repent of. In general, though, I don’t see the point in arguing online. I’m not a big fan of conflict in general.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I am unable to understand why some people are quick to say negative (i.e. nasty) things online that they would (hopefully) not say in person. Life is too short to fill it with hate. I agree with everything you said–especially unconditional love! You can like that your child does something and tell them so, but you love them. period! They need to know that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The problem as I see it is that people think that society should adjust to them as an individual instead the individual adjusting to society. We can’t be a population where everyone only thinks of themselves…

      Like

  21. First of all, people who call others “stupid” should be looking in the mirror when they say that. And I never argue with anyone on social media (like you, I just have a Facebook account, nothing else.) There is no point and too often the result is hurt feelings and bad behavior. The world doesn’t need more of that!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Great thoughts as always!
    I don’t argue with people on social media and I don’t like doing it in person either! Someone has to really push mh buttons to.get me to argue with them. Now debating in a friendly way, that I will do.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. 😉
        Oh and as far as name calling goes. No, we shouldn’t! But now I am guilty of doing it in a joking way! I love the Pa.Dutch word Dummkopf, LOL! You very well may have.seen it in my comments. And my one friend replies back “Schtupid” , but its all in jest.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, the important thing is that its OK with both people. I know people have been hurt before when someone meant it as a joke, so you do have to be careful. I don’t go around saying that to everyone, for sure!

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I dont think people should be rude to other people on social media. I never am. If you dont like what they posted you dont have to be mean about it. Just.move on. My cousin and an ex coworker of mine got into it on my page. I ignored it and refused to acknowledge it. Not my.pronlem.

    Liked by 1 person

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