We have a building aquaintance.
I always thought he was a little controlling of his girlfriend, but in the past, when I didn’t see him much, I didn’t have enough evidence, I guess is the only word I can think of.
As pandemic has gone on, and I’ve seen more of her, I really don’t like how he controls her. We were hanging out one night, and he told her it was time to go home…FYI we were playing cards. And this wasn’t a “you’re so sexy and I can’t wait to get alone with you”- this was almost like a Father telling his child that it was bedtime. (FYI- he’s about fifteen years older than her- you know how I feel about large age differences)
I’ve seen him ask her why she isn’t wearing things that he bought her.
I’ve seen him talk about how he picked out all the clothes that she had on on a particular day.
I’ve seen him put food on her plate, or not pass her things.
I’ve heard him blame her for things that have gone wrong that have nothing to do with her.
His manipulations are often so overt that my Husband noticed it.
Do you know how overt things have to be for him to notice something?
I mean, it literally has to be the only thing in his line of vision…
So here’s the thing: we are friendly with this couple via the guy: he and my husband became friends which is why we hang with them.
My issues are:
- I don’t know this woman that well. I don’t know anything about the situation really, I only know what I see. But I don’t like the way he treats her. Should it matter to me? Should I ask her how she is? Should I completely stay out of it?
- Should we stop hanging out with them? Do I want to witness manipulative, bullying behavior?
What would you do in this situation?
What sort of acquaintance boundaries do you have?
When is a situation worth speaking up?
I have no proof that he is hurting her, just inklings that he’s being emotionally and verbally abusive to some level. Is that enough info to say anything?
What say you?