You know I am not a great speller. And you know I am not always the most adroit at hitting the correct keys when I’m typing…You know, cause my mind works so fast my fingers can’t keep up…yeah… that’s it. That’s why I make so many mistakes…

So a few weeks ago I commented on a post written by DM…and because of one mistake the comment took on a much racier tone than anticipated…

So…

I’m grateful to DM for laughing and knowing that I’d made an error

I’m grateful to him for fixing said error in his comment thread so that others did not think I was some sort of depraved lunatic…

Hypocrisy- the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform: pretense – Oxford Languages

I totally admit that I can be hypocritical: I shared the story about what I posted and how I did the exact opposite in real life.

But how many of us do the exact same thing- the old do as I say, not as I do. In parenting, the maxim is that your children will do what you do, not listen to what you say…

So you see how far reaching hypocrisy can be…

Were those right of center hypocrites when they pushed in a Supreme Court Justice when they did the exact opposite four years ago?

Before you answer…

Were those to the left of center hypocrites with their dismissal of Tara Reade?

Now think about your answers:

Both yes?

Both no?

One yes and one no?

You have no idea to what I am referring in one or both statements?

Now think- do your answers make sense based on what you know about hypocrisy?

Do we believe what we want to believe?

Do we change how we interpret the facts based on where we fall on some imaginary line that goes from left to center to right?

Take the case of Amy Coney Barrett: I don’t like the way she voted on certain issues. That’s my personal ethos. However, the minute I heard women, feminists, men say that she shouldn’t be eligible for the job because her kids will suffer….because she would be unable to be a good Mother and a justice…

I went crazy….

As a woman, as a Mother, as the Mother of a daughter who is at this very moment participating in a Virtual Moot Court competition because she loves the law so much, and who dressed as RBG for her American Studies class yesterday…

How dare you question what a woman can and can’t do…

So here’s the thing:

On Tuesday, there will be an election.

In some point over the next six weeks, someone will be named President. (it took them four months to figure out who won the democratic primary for Congress in my district, so you do the math…)

There will be no winner on Tuesday…

But if we don’t learn to cooperate with one another…

On Wednesday we will all be losers…

A man who knows nothing is smarter than a man who thinks he knows something but really knows nothing Socrates

Don’t assume that you know everything. Don’t assume that the person who voted differently than you is stupid.

Taking extremists of both sides out of the picture, there is value to be learned from all…

Let’s stamp out hate…all hate.

Let’s figure out a way to work together so that we all can be the best that we can be…

Can you have any sort of relationship if people constantly oppose one another?

Any sort of business?

Any sort of anything?

We can agree to disagree on things, but we all must learn to coexist.

Now I get that some of you are shaking your heads right now…I probably lost half of you at the top half of this…

But to coin that 21st century philosopher Dr. Phil…

What we are doing, all the fighting and grandstanding…

How’s that working for you? For your neighbor? For anyone?

Do you actually want things to be better?

Or do you just want it YOUR way?

Is the way that we have been behaving the best way to move forward?

I don’t think so…

We need to do better.

In many ways, I am a true Marie Kondo disciple. For those who don’t know the Konmari queen, Kondo is an organizing guru. She developed a way of folding things so that you can fit more in a drawer and still know exactly what is there (which I admittedly don’t use because I am a shelf girl). She is also famous for the phrase “Spark Joy”….this is where I come in.

I am always on a quest to minimalism: my daily goal is to get rid of at least one item. Yesterday it was a pair of socks with a big hole in the toe and non existent elastic so they kept sliding down. I also tossed a broken butter dish (there’s a mystery to this- the butter dish fell out of the butter holder while the fridge was shut. I heard this loud crash- I assume it had something to do with the book I trashed the other day- the book was about a smart fridge that tried to help out it’s human owner…)

But anyway…

I like to purge belongings that are broken, I no longer need, and don’t spark joy…

What does spark joy mean?

When I look at something, it no longer makes me happy. It might have a purpose, it might be in great shape, but it is no longer something that I want in my house.

This happened recently with some dinnerware that I had. It was time to replace my everyday dishes (don’t worry- a nesting post is on the way) because half of them were chipped/cracked/just plain old. I had serving pieces that coordinated with these dishes…

I’ve had those serving pieces for ten years…

I used to love them…

Now…

Not so much…

When I lined them up on the dining room table for a trip to the thrift store, my Husband exclaimed:

“Do we need to get rid of them? They are perfectly good pieces.”

And he was right (yes- I admitted my Husband was correct about something- mark this day down).

I simply responded that they didn’t spark joy anymore…

Which earned me more than one confused look…

I explained to him that sometimes you have to let things go, even if they are still in good shape. (he needs to remember that when he is having a not so good day)

Part of me feels bad when I shed something in perfectly good condition. I rationalize by thinking that I am donating the pieces. Someone who can’t afford to pay retail/full price for something new can pick up these pieces for a few dollars. The organization that I’ve donated to will receive some money.

I want to live in a home where everything I see, touch, hear, smell and taste are a joy to me. I want to surround myself with things that I love, or are so practical they serve a greater purpose in my life. (I don’t love my broom, but I love a swept floor, so you get the idea)

I look at the shelf about me: I see some journals and books that I use every day, my diffuser with some lovely lemon oil, a little tea set, a mug that chipped but I still use as a vase, a museum postcard that my daughter gave me, and a little ceramic cat… When I write, these things are in my eye view. They make me calm and happy and make me feel like I can take on the world….

They spark joy…

I want to surround myself with things that spark joy…

Life is about the little things. I’ve realized this as pandemic has gone on and on…

These little things are what is getting me up in the morning, getting me through the day, the week, the month, the year…

I’m not going to push you to go full minimize. But I am going to ask you to look around and see if there is anything in your home that doesn’t have any meaning to you…ask yourself why you are holding onto it. Ask yourself if you are better off letting it go…

I never thought buying shoelaces would make me feel old.

You know what shoelaces are?

Do you ever replace them?

A few months ago I told my Husband I would pick up sneaker laces for him. One would think this would be a simple endeavor, however, after visiting three stores and purchasing a cool pair of Converse, I was still shoelaceless….

I went to DSW first. You would think that a big shoe store would have laces for sneakers…

Nope…

Modell’s- a sporting goods store? Nope. Admittedly, Modell’s was in going out of business mode, so it was more that they had already sold out.

Foot Locker? Remember, all that Foot Locker sells is sneakers. ALL THEY SELL IS SNEAKERS… I went to the really large Foot Locker on 34th Street (note to visitors- 34th and 42nd Streets have been traditionally tourist shopping destinations. Normal New Yorkers do not usually shop here, but when you need a mall like row of stores, this is where you go) I asked the first sales associate that I saw when I entered…

“Where are your sneaker laces?” I asked.

“What?” She said

“Laces” I said.

She still looked confused.

I pointed to her own sneaker laces…

My laces broke in my sneakers. I need a new pair.”

She looked at me as if I had thirteen feet. “Oh we don’t sell those. Don’t you just get a new pair when the laces break?”

OK- I get that she works in a sneaker store, and their goal is to sell sneakers…

But, has it come down to us throwing out sneakers because the laces break?

I guess I’m just old school. If the sneakers are in good shape, I just buy new laces…

Am I the only person who still does this?

Do we not even attempt to fix things when they are broken?

Do we get rid of things when they still have so much life left?

But anyway…

I did find the laces. Famous Footwear.

But I made sure I bought two pair…

Technically, I was born in the last official year of the baby boom generation, on the cusp of Gen X. According to my daughter the American Studies/History major, I really would be Gen X because I was not born in reaction to the end of WWII as I am the oldest child.

But anyway…

It doesn’t mean I don’t have strong feelings against the term “OK Boomer”…

I think it’s sort of mean to dismiss an antire age group because of their age…especially calling them old and out of touch…

I like to think I am somewhat “in touch”. I should be able to get some sort of passing grade if I were to take a pop culture quiz. I read Buzzfeed…

OK…

I used to read Buzzfeed…

Here’s the story (OK maybe I am old because it’s taken be awhile to get to the point I’m making…)

Buzzfeed does a lot of lists: best Netflix, best life hacks, best hoodies, etc. They also do a best cheap product listicle. I recently saw one about a really inexpensive, yet effective bra.

So I bought it.

Worst decision ever.

Worst bra ever.

OK…worst bra ever for someone over the age of 40…

It was uncomfortable. It gave me a rash. It made the girls look weird…

Total waste of 19.99…

So here’s my conclusion. I am too old to get underwear recommendations from buzzfeed, and I am OK with this.

Call me Boomer anytime…I’ve earned the right to better under garments…

I love a good argument.

And by that I mean I love to debate ideas with people. I love to think of a premise or situation or whatever, and bat it around. Disclaimer: I do not debate politics, religion and in some cases, money.

I like to know what people think. I like to know how someone came to a certain conclusion. I like to know what makes people think. I love anything that involves words, theories and ideas.

However:

In my personal life, I do not like conflict. I try to avoid large family fights. I’m a believer in pick your battles. I don’t call names. I don’t bring up things from the past.

The other thing I don’t do is pick fights with other people on social media.

I have a very lean (and getting leaner by the day) Facebook group. I have never said anything negative on the Facebook page of another person. I have never gotten into a fight with a friend of a friend.

I don’t tweet. At all. I mean, I don’t even have an account.

I don’t have any of the social media apps that many do.

I’m more luddite than I am social media savvy….

Yet….

I know people who will get into arguments with friends of friends if friends on social media.

And the tenor of the arguments declines quickly.

Friends of my sister have told my mother to STOP SCREAMING (my Mother only writes in caps) and told her to up her meds.

My sister will write FB posts about fights she has gotten into with friends of friends on social media.

(Ok- now that I’m thinking about it, maybe this is something only members of my family do)

So……

What’s the point of arguing with people that you don’t know on social media?

Does it really make you feel better?

Does it make you a better person to tell someone that they are crazy or stupid?

Do you think your ideas will be received better if you denigrate the person with whom you are conversing?

Does anger make your point, idea or theory better and more valid?

Is it reasonable to have a verbal spar with someone that you don’t know, based on one thing that you read that they said, and where you might not know the context of the statement?

I try to keep my blog comments positive. (well, on other peoples blogs anyway- on my own I really try to be nice, but the other day I almost ripped into someone…but anyway) In fact, I often use emojis so that my 👍❤🤞😢😒😘 is read exactly how I intended it to be.

Only once in my years of blogging have I commented negatively on the blog of someone I didn’t know well. The blogger said that you shouldn’t tell your kids “I love you” with adding something like “I love you because you cleaned up, or because you’re a kind person.” I told that blogger that there should be no qualifiers to love, and that those words should be said often to the people that you love, especially kids.

So there you go…

Do you argue with people you don’t know on social media platforms?

Do you think it’s a positive thing or negative?

What do you think of people who call people stupid?

I won’t bore you with too many details, but we had some time to kill in New Jersey. We saw a Dunkin Donuts with outdoor seating, so we pulled in. My husband and I went inside to get drinks.

As my husband paid for the drinks he saw that the clerk gave us the Senior discount.

My Husband, who is four years younger than me (four years and seven months if you are a toddler) was taken aback by this. Admittedly, my husband looks young, but whatever.

When we went to the seats outside, my husband was pretty confident the clerk gave us the senior discount because of me…

So…

I am grateful that when my Husband went inside by himself to get a bottle of water, a different clerk gave him, and him alone, the senior discount….

The other day I wrote about my pretend press conference where I left the stage accompanied by a song. Blog friend Parks/Living commented that it would be a great idea if we all had personal theme songs. sort of like when baseball players come up to the plate. So I thought… of course we should all have personal theme music.

Now, I’ve been thinking about this for about twenty seconds, so let’s see what sort of guidelines we should use…

1. Recognizability: The song probably shouldn’t be a “B” side song. It helps that it’s something that many people have heard
2. However….it can’t be too recognizable. I am a Journey fan, but I know that “Don’t Stop Believing” can become a little cliché
3. Strong chorus or tag line- I think it helps to have the impact of well chosen and powerful words
4. Crescendo- you need the music to get louder, which brings a level of excitement to the gathered crowd
5. It should give you an identity

These are just guidelines: you can choose anything to be your theme song. One of the NY Mets (sorry I don’t remember who, and I’m wondering if they played theme music when no one was at CitiField) used the Frank Sinatra classic, “Fly me to the Moon” which did not have a crescendo, but had the obvious hit the ball to the moon reference that made it work so well as a theme song?

I have narrowed my choices down to two songs:

“I Want it All” by Queen

or…

Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner

Which one should I choose for myself?

And more importantly…

Which song do you choose for your personal theme music?

What should your theme music be?

Also– as I am notoriously bad at adding links, please tell me if the above links do or do not work. Thanks in advance…

Flashback: A few months ago I was watching Grantchester on PBS. I heard a quote during the episode but I didn’t write it down- I was watching the show and didn’t want to lose focus. I figured since I was DVRing the show I could always rewatch the scene. Then DVR had to be replaced. Lost the episode. I did write about the quote anyway, because we always follow the established blog pattern here at waking….but it irked me that I didn’t have the actual quote. And then….the episode aired again….

I now present to you: the quote…

Nun– (speaking about being a nun and living in a convent) Some people find this life constricting

Will– (sarcastically) I can’t imagine why

Nun– Others find the constriction a form of freedom

So, now that you see the direct quote…

What do you think?

Does constriction offer it’s own sort of freedom?

I’ll tell you, personally, I am not liking the the pandemic restrictions. I don’t like all the things that we can’t do, or aren’t supposed to do. I don’t like how everyone is judging everyone else’s choices either. The particular constrictions we are living under is bringing out the absolute worst in people…

True, some have risen to the challenge…

But as time marches on, people’s patience and fortitude are eroding…

The supermarket workers in my neighborhood…they are really tightly wound right about now…Months of food shortages, long lines and annoying customers have worn down even the most optimistic of them.

Gone are the posts about baking bread and tie dying clothes. Gone are the lists of things to do, plays that are streaming…

The constrictions are really starting to get to people…

But anyway….

How do you feel about the quote?

Do you find freedom in constrictions?

Does lack of choice have benefit?

Now that you’ve seen the quote, what does it mean to you?