I’ve been playing Netflix roulette: If I feel like watching TV but I have no idea what is on, I go to Netflix and just watch what is recommended for me. As I have a longstanding tradition of watching anything British, Dr. Foster came up.

I am about to give spoilers for “Dr. Foster”. If you are planning on watching this show, proceed with caution.

The show is about a woman who finds out that her Husband has been cheating on her for about two years with a much younger woman.

No one wants to find that there spouse has been cheating- but how do you react?

In the case of this particular show, Dr. Foster doesn’t take it too well. She goes on a revenge spree…

Remember your William Congreve? He said “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Well, Dr. Foster was furious.

Her goal is to ruin her Husband’s life. But in doing that, what else do you ruin?

In this case, I’d say that if this was a real story, her son would be pretty messed up. Her son becomes a pawn in her chess match of revenge. I don’t know how her son survives psychologically intact. The mind games she plays…. She actually goes to the house of her son’s best friend and asks the kid to get her wine. Her son is 15! This goes under the category of “what is she THINKING?” And Could this be any creepier?

My question is:

Is revenge ever worth it?

If someone has hurt you, is the best course of action to ruin them, even if it means taking others down with them?

Does revenge make you feel better for life, or is it a temporary satisfaction?

Do you really want to see someone completely lose everything?

What happens if the revenge doesn’t make you feel better at all?

I’m about to give you MY opinion: I am not a believer in revenge. I recently posted something where I named a day as being the best day in my life. Someone asked me if that was because something good happened to me, or if something bad happened to someone else.

For the record, I don’t want anyone to ever befall tragedy. It doesn’t matter if I like them or not- I really only want good things, or just nothing to happen to people. I don’t take any joy in seeing anyone fail (unless they ask for my advice and I give it and then they don’t listen and exactly what I said would happen does happen and then I don’t actually get gleeful in their fail, but you know…I’m human…)

Revenge

Is it worth it?

Have you ever done anything to extract revenge on another?

Would you recommend a revenge strategy to someone that has been scorned?

Do you just walk away with as much dignity as you can muster?

What say ye?

74 thoughts on “Fury…Scorn…Revenge”

  1. I’m more than likely to sit around and fume all day (or longer) – I’m not really clever enough to plot a revenge. I might yell for a while to get it out of my system. My imagination would maybe have something horrible happen to the person, but then I feel Karma kick in and know I’m doomed just for thinking about it. Even though there would be no possible way to carry it out. Which is just as well as there’s no feeling good about someone else’s fate.

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  2. I’m more than likely to sit around and fume all day (or longer) – I’m not really clever enough to plot a revenge. I might yell for a while to get it out of my system. My imagination would maybe have something horrible happen to the person, but then I feel Karma kick in and know I’m doomed just for thinking about it. Even though there would be no possible way to carry it out. Which is just as well as there’s no feeling good about someone else’s fate.

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  4. One of the classic revenge novels is The Count of Monte Christo. I loved that book. Part of it is the adage of “living well is the best revenge,” but then he goes further. I agree with you that taking down those who offend you is just pointless and harmful all around. Forgive and move on. The rest of your life is waiting.

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  5. ‘He who seeks revenge should dig two graves’ wise guy that Confucius. Revenge is a funny thing it can never turn out well, that said I was once told by someone that the best revenge if someone as wronged you is to have a happy life away from them.

    If you think the 1st series of Dr. Foster is good wait until you get to the 2nd

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  6. I’m not good at revenge. I’ve found out that all that really happens is that I’m all pissed off and not thinking clearly or thinking things thru. I just walk away now and have nothing more to do with them as much as possible. I let karma sort it all out.

    If we were to follow our Judeo-Christian teachings, then we would understand that revenge is for a higher power. Well, I’m Irish American and with a temper that is expected. I’d answer for losing my temper and having death thoughts for someone.

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  11. I’m very much a what you put out there (or focus on) is what you draw to you kind of person. When the only thing you can focus on is the negative emotions that prompt the desire for revenge, then you are going to struggle to find and experience the good ones. I’ve seen this way too often for it to not at least have an impact. I’d rather find the joy and happiness in life than to look back and see that the only thing I accomplished was to stew in my negativity. Besides, the best revenge in almost every single situation is to be a happy, satisfied individual going on to live their best life.

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  12. I long time ago I had a chance to get revenge on someone. I no longer remember the particulars, because they weren’t important. What I do remember with great clarity is the feeling I had. I looked at myself and was amazed that at a moment of decision, I could not bring myself to lash out with revenge. It strengthened me in a way nothing else could have.

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  13. Revenge never works, karma would be better if you could hit people with it. Suck it up, move on, learn from it. In other words, having tried and failed at revenge I no longer bother. I’d rather use my life for making myself and my friends happy, rather than become bitter as I try to get revenge.

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  14. I have plenty of chances where revenge might seem doable, but by the time my anger about what had happened to me or someone I loved I realized that the certain person involved was not worth the time and effort or space they were taking up in my mind and my heart. I believe that by taking the high road I was proving to myself that I was better than they were (okay I am human) so I felt better and no one else had to suffer. I realize this is not healthy either but it goes away quicker.

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  16. Let me just say a family relative has been there (haven’t we all?) In my opinion revenge is never worth it, the time and mental energy can spent in far more positive ways especially if we’re talking extra marital affairs. In my opinion the wounded partner should strive to show they’re better than the sordid games, if they use the experience to grow as a person, find a better partner, strive to show that they can make a success of their life then that’s fabulous revenge in itself……….. and they did 🙂 .

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  19. I’m too lazy for revenge. I prefer to take the high road, walk away– but never forget what happened. Not dwell on it, just allow it to be a reference point along the way.

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  20. I most certainly have extracted revenge. I’ve also had it perpetrated on me. In both instances, it was not fun. Never satisfying, in spite of the ideas that came to mind when I constructed it. It was a spiritual loss.

    Now I would just say arrivederci.

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  24. I don’t believe in revenge because I feel like karma will handle it for me. 😉 I’m the one who asked you the question about your best day. I’ve had a few people wrong me recently and have had friends offer to do them harm on my behalf. It’s endearing on the one hand, but I politely declined.

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  28. I don’t believe in revenge either, but I agree with the comment above that it is sometimes hard to distinguish between revenge and justice. But on a personal level, it never makes me feel better to see someone else suffer, even if that person has wronged me.

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  31. This post really hit home. After learning my husband was cheating on me with a much younger woman, the thought of revenge never once crossed my mind. Was I angry at her for being a part of the breakup of a marriage and the crumbling of my children’s foundation? Absolutely. I guess it’s just not in my nature. Besides, how would it possibly make me feel any better? What satisfaction could I ever get from it and what positive thing would I ever gain from it? Most of all, what kind of example would I set for my children if I sought revenge?

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