Have you heard the Number One most popular song in America?


I heard this song earlier in the week. When I first began to hear the words my mouth just dropped open. I knew that I would need to write something, because I was very confused.

I was originally going to do something sarcastic or clever, Friday Favorites, explicit lyrics edition. But as I sat here this morning, I just couldn’t be flip about this subject.

I believe in the First Amendment.

I don’t believe in censorship. Last Friday I did a post about things that I love that have been banned or challenged just to show how ludicrous censorship can be. On Sunday I posted a picture of one of my favorite works of art which had been censored.

I will defend the right for people to say what they want, including artists of all types.

Yet… my questions become:

Why was this song written?

Why is it so popular?

Last night when I was emailing a friend about this subject, I told them that I was going to put a warning on my post that it would contain explicit song lyrics. I was going to copy and paste the song lyrics.

But as I looked at the words this morning, I just couldn’t.

I could not bring myself to copy and paste a song that just boggles my mind.

The song literally and figuratively calls women whores.

Last year there was a Ban on “Baby it’s cold outside” because it’s demeaning to women and takes away their power.

Yet, now we find it is empowering to talk about how women act towards men so the men buy them expensive things, and refer to themselves as whores? In language that is so sexually explicit, there is only one way to interpret it?

Is the song supposed to be sarcastic? Is it supposed to make fun of men?

I’m no expert at interpreting words, but I just don’t see how any women can hear this song and scream from the rooftops “I am so proud to be a woman.”

Here’s the hard part of this post. I don’t want to force anyone to listen to this song. Yet, I want people to be aware of what’s being touted as the most popular song in America.

But if someone could please tell me why this song is so popular?

I was going to write what “WAP” stands for and I just can’t…

I never thought of myself as a prude, but as I can’t understand this song, maybe I am.

What’s Age Got to Do With It

My daughter and her friends rented an AIRBNB beach house over the summer.

Five 19 year olds and my 18 year old daughter.

The day they were leaving my daughter hands be a piece of paper: This is a contract from the owner of the property. you need to sign it. She handed me a piece of paper that listed all the girls names as well as the Mom’s (what does it say that even in 2020 when a child is asked to provide the name of a parent they still put their Mom….see…this is how blog ideas happen for me)

Back to the contract: Why do I need to sign? You’re legally an adult? My daughter shook her head in the international symbol of “I don’t know.”

After one of the Mom’s picked up my daughter for the drive, I got a phone call from an unknown number. When I checked the voicemail, it was the renter of the house.

Does your daughter have permission to away?

This conversation went a little like this:

Me: She’s 18. She’s legally allowed to enter into a contract.

Renter Guy: No she’s not. They can be on your insurance until they’re 26 so they’re not adults till then

Me: What????????

Renter Guy: Yeah. At eighteen all they can do is enlist in the army

Me out loud : What???????

Me in my head: Hmmmm…do they call a soldier’s Mom before they go to battle- Hey- Can Jimmy man a tank today? We have to go invade something. Oh wait, what about getting married? If this was their honeymoon would they call and ask- Oh Can Susie have sex with her husband this weekend? When I was eighteen I remember going to the Hamptons with my work friends and renting a room and no one said anything…I could legally drink at 18…

Me out loud: Of course she can go.

After this incident, I read that AIRBNB is trying to make the rental age 25 across the board. Sort of like renting a car.

Twenty five.

Do you know there’s also talk of lowering the age that you can become President to 25.

There’s been talk of lowering the voting age to sixteen…

Twenty five.


Simultaneously, we have people that feel that at the age of 25 you are mature enough to literally take on the problems of the world.

Yet, you are not mature enough to rent a house for the weekend.

You might cause damage in the house…

You might be irresponsible…

So what’s the actual deal?

Do we change decide what age someone should be because it suits us as a society?

Do we want the bright ideas of bright young things?

Or do we think these same said kids are still in toddler mindset?

Have we further infantilized young adults by doing too many things for them?

What is the age of consent?

Shouldn’t the age of consent be the same for everything?

How can we allow one thing that smacks of being an adult while blocking something else?

Shouldn’t there be a point where we don’t have to be active parents? Like, I don’t know, 18, when we ship them off to college or work?

Or do kids just not want to grow up?


What Are You Wearing?

I’m in my nightshirt and bathrobe right now…furry lined slipper clogs on my feet. This is my blog writing outfit. It’s soft and comfortable and when I sit at the computer I just feel ready to write.

When I sit down to work on my book I wear t shirt dress and some sort of soft cardigan/jacket over it. When I go out, I just switch out the layer and add different shoes.

This clothing combo of dress/covering/comfy shoes is the armor I wear no matter what I am doing. This way of dressing makes me feel powerful.

A dress is part of my identity.

Recently I read “After You” (I know- I am very late to the JoJo Moyes party). In the book she makes mention that women wear pants to feel more comfortable and more in control.


So I began to think about how we get dressed…

Do women feel more confident in pants because they feel they are channeling men? That wearing pants is like an act of defiance because there was a time when women in pants was shocking? There’s a scene early on in Downton Abbey, where one of the female characters appears at dinner in a sort of Harem pants outfit. It was scandalous to her Mother and Grandmother who would never wear fabric down the insides of their legs. She was breaking the established mold. It empowered her at that moment.

So what does it say about me that I feel much more confident with my calves out?

Is it just because I like my legs?

Is it because I love a nice knee high boot and can really show them off if I’m in a dress?

Or is it because most men don’t wear dresses and the most empowering thing I can do as a woman is by making a statement that a dress or skirt is the most powerful piece of clothing there is, simply because men routinely choose not to wear them?

When you get dressed, what are you thinking about? When you choose an outfit, what goes through your mind?

Are you consciously or unconsciously lifting hangers and scrolling through shelves?

What are you wearing?


Same Song, Different Day

Since July, I have been a fountain of blog ideas. I’m not saying they’re all good: I’m just saying that I am literally seeing topics everywhere.

We know I write ideas in my planner. But, did you know, that I’m going to have to block out December 25th soon so I don’t schedule a post about hemlines or something for that day?

The blogs I’ve been penning recently? Some of these ideas are a month old or older. I came up with an idea yesterday and wrote it down for December third. (Spoiler alert: it’s going to be about the Japanese concept of ikigai)

So, with all this roundabout language, what I’m really trying to say is that today’s blog has an origin story.

One of my neighbors broke up with their significant other. We talked about the heartbreak and the sadness. If apologies work in a case like this. Would they get back together. The stuff that rom com’s are made of.

The stuff that rom com’s are made of…

Oddly, I just finished a book on Sunday where the main character and her boyfriend break up.

How often is this theme used in literature and film? (Hello Ross and Rachel)

Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back again.

How many times have we seen that storyline?

What is it about a breakup and reconciliation that draws us in?

Why do we need to see a couple suffer before they are happily ever after? (I know I know- happily ever after is an overused theme too, but that’s a whole other can of worms, but perhaps we will tackle that on 12/7…)

In reality, how often does the course of love run smooth?

I know more couples that have broken apart before they eventually came back together than couples who just stayed the course. Even to use the Friends analogy (yup, still occasionally watching the reruns) Ross and Rachel were on a break, Phoebe and Mike broke up, leaving only Monica and Chandler to just tough it out.

Do we like to see relationship turmoil in fiction because it mirrors our actual love lives for better or for worse?

Do we like the thought that even if we screw up, there’s a huge opportunity for a second chance?

Where would we be without forgiveness?

Where would we be without second chances?

To go back to my original paragraph, the couple I spoke about are now in the second chance phase.

Yay for love.

Maybe I’ll write a book about them…

How You Doin’

I bet you’re all wondering how New York City is doing…

Whether or not you are, I’m going to tell you.

Virus wise…we are holding tight. Low infection rate. People being discharged. Very flat curve.

As for learning to live in the time of COVID…

How do we visit something?

Reservations are key. When I go to the museum or the zoo or the Highline, I must register in advance because there are very strict 25% occupancy rules. I went to the Met on Saturday. I booked my 11am ticket about five days before. I’m a planner and even that seems crazy to me…yet, I do it. At the zoo, there are no same day, ticket counter ticket sales. None.

This is not a good time to be spontaneous.

To do something in NYC right now requires forethought.

Are we wearing masks?

I haven’t been to the outer boroughs much, but in Manhattan, most people in my area are wearing masks. We are required to wear them indoors. Even outdoor spots like THe Highline and New York Botanic Garden (which are outdoor venues) require you to keep your mask on at all times. If you walk down the street, most are wearing masks.

What this means is that except when I am in my apartment, I am wearing a mask. When I do laundry I wear a mask. A mask is the most valuable thing I own now (if you saw Manhattan real estate prices you would totally get this)

Now, I said I wear a mask. And I did say that most are wearing masks.


Subways and Busses

The MTA (metropolitan transit authority) have now instituted a 50$ fine for anyone on mass transit who is not wearing a mask. Which probably means there are mask evaders. The problem with this is that in order to fine someone, you must be able to give them a ticket. In a system where many people are fare evaders, I am 99% sure this will never work, because in order for it to work, people must respect the laws…

See the conundrum…

For now, as the transit system is probably only operating at 25% capacity, it will not be too much of an issue…

But at some point things have to go above 25% capacity…

Things are meant to run at 90% to full capacity. That is the economic model. But this is just a piece about how we are doing COVID wise…the economy piece will come eventually…


Those of us left in the city are trying our best to remain positive. Or reading up on how to be a hermit. There are two distinct types of people: the ones that shut the elevator door in your face and the ones that hold it open for you. The ones that yell at the supermarket clerk for being out of haloumi, and the ones that go out of their way to thank the workers.

NYC has become it’s own little version of red state/blue state, and the two groups can’t stand each other…

If you divide, who conquers?

The News According to Bill Gates

In an interview with Chris Wallace, Gates stated that the earliest thing will go back to normal will be 2022.


How are we doing?

I have no idea.

Highlights September 20

Egg and cheese croissant at one if my favorite little cafes
The bar/restaurants have taken to putting TVs outside for football season
Wondering what’s on his playlist…
I made frozen s’mores cake. Don’t be impressed…it’s one of those desserts that you make out of other ingredients that are already prepared….but my family did love it, so there’s that…
Doors for Doris Sam Moyer
Without these Trail Blazers….
Robert Burns
I told you a few weeks ago that some parks are placing circles on the ground so you know where to sit
Is a group of scooters a biker gang in training?
Pastrami, matzah ball soup, and friends
My new computer. Haven’t named her yet…
Movie night…Do the Right Thing
Really good book
Up close and personal with my cat
Fun, light read
I got four 5 star rating on my design game this week….lucky week
RIP RBG….you will be missed. Thank you for being a hero to my daughter, and helping her learn to just keep trying.
This was on my playlist this week, and really spoke to me…
John Singer Sargent Madame X. This is my favorite painting at the Met. It amazes me that it was considered risqué in its day….
Mary Cassatt Mother and Child
Degas The Dance Class
My shadow is not part of the art

Gratitude Saturday September 19

A couple of weeks ago, my computer went down for the count- power supply out. It was an old computer and had never worked particularly well either, but it was my first blogging computer, so it felt a little special…

Alas, I had not backed up my pictures in awhile…

I am grateful for my friend P, who also happens to be an IT guy. He is in the process of recovering the rest of my photos that went unbacked up.

I am also grateful for P for helping me make the final decision for my new computer. I figured out which one I wanted, but was unsure about getting the latest and greatest (yet minimally reviewed newer model) or the well received older one.

Cheers to having friends that know more than you do!! Which in my case is all of them…

Friday Favorites

For today, I’m going to give you some of my favorite works that have been banned or challenged. Tread carefully….


1) The Color Purple Alice Walker

2) The Lord of the Flies William Golding

3) Animal Farm George Orwell (if you know me you know how much I love this book)

4) The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway (considered naming my daughter Britt)

5) Their Eyes were Watching God Zora Neale Hurston


1) The Last Judgement Michelangelo

2) The Nude Maja Francisco Goya

3) Les Demoiselles d’Avignon Pablo Picasso

4) Dinner Party Judy Chicago

5) St. Matthew and the Angel Carvaggio

Film (these were not necessarily banned/challenged in the US, but you get the idea)

1) Wonder Woman (2017)

2) Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979)

3) The King and I (1956)

4) The Da Vinci Code (2006)

5) Schindler’s List (1993)

Alexa Does it Again

I’m going to start out by saying that we have an Alexa device in the bathroom.

Let’s just get this out on the granite counter: I like to listen to music in the bathroom. I also get my greatest ideas when I’m in the bathroom- I like the ability to be able to tell Alexa these ideas so I can jot them down later.

Now let’s get to the story.

My Husband was trying to get on a work conference call. He saw his co-worker on the screen but could not hear their voice.

As he was trying to figure out the technical difficulties I was on my way to the bathroom.

I don’t think you need to much more info about that…

So I’m in there

And I hear the voice of my Husband’s co-worker coming through Alexa…

First I freeze- which isn’t the optimum thing at this moment…

Then I yell to my Husband-


and he responds back: “Not now. I’m on a work call and we’re having problems”

And I yell “Your co-worker is talking to me in the bathroom…”

But remember- Alexa goes both ways…so I’m really not sure if/what his co-worker can hear…

I hear my Husband tell his meeting: “Oh wait- the audio is coming through in the bathroom…”

Though I am mortified, I am grateful that we don’t have the Alexa with the screen…

And after what feels like hours, but in reality about thirty seconds, my Husband realizes what he did wrong with the Zoom connection…

And his co-worker’s voice is no longer being broadcast in the bathroom…

So yeah…

&^%$ happens…


I’ve been playing Netflix roulette: If I feel like watching TV but I have no idea what is on, I go to Netflix and just watch what is recommended for me. As I have a longstanding tradition of watching anything British, Dr. Foster came up.

I am about to give spoilers for “Dr. Foster”. If you are planning on watching this show, proceed with caution.

The show is about a woman who finds out that her Husband has been cheating on her for about two years with a much younger woman.

No one wants to find that there spouse has been cheating- but how do you react?

In the case of this particular show, Dr. Foster doesn’t take it too well. She goes on a revenge spree…

Remember your William Congreve? He said “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Well, Dr. Foster was furious.

Her goal is to ruin her Husband’s life. But in doing that, what else do you ruin?

In this case, I’d say that if this was a real story, her son would be pretty messed up. Her son becomes a pawn in her chess match of revenge. I don’t know how her son survives psychologically intact. The mind games she plays…. She actually goes to the house of her son’s best friend and asks the kid to get her wine. Her son is 15! This goes under the category of “what is she THINKING?” And Could this be any creepier?

My question is:

Is revenge ever worth it?

If someone has hurt you, is the best course of action to ruin them, even if it means taking others down with them?

Does revenge make you feel better for life, or is it a temporary satisfaction?

Do you really want to see someone completely lose everything?

What happens if the revenge doesn’t make you feel better at all?

I’m about to give you MY opinion: I am not a believer in revenge. I recently posted something where I named a day as being the best day in my life. Someone asked me if that was because something good happened to me, or if something bad happened to someone else.

For the record, I don’t want anyone to ever befall tragedy. It doesn’t matter if I like them or not- I really only want good things, or just nothing to happen to people. I don’t take any joy in seeing anyone fail (unless they ask for my advice and I give it and then they don’t listen and exactly what I said would happen does happen and then I don’t actually get gleeful in their fail, but you know…I’m human…)


Is it worth it?

Have you ever done anything to extract revenge on another?

Would you recommend a revenge strategy to someone that has been scorned?

Do you just walk away with as much dignity as you can muster?

What say ye?