You want to hear a weird coincidence?
(don’t get all that excited- it’s not the big a revelation)
My in-laws are divorced. My mother in law’s boyfriend and my father in law’s girlfriend share the same birthday…
See?
Isn’t that just a weird and random thing?
I mean, what are the chances? I know mathematically there’s a way to actually express the ratio, which I don’t feel like doing, but isn’t that just odd?
But you know what I actually found odd when I typed out these sentences- as well as when I jotted this down as a blog idea?
Using the term boyfriend and girlfriend to talk about significant others of octogenarians.
By no means do I think that people in their 80’s can’t find love.
It’s more that, after you’re 22, is it silly to refer to someone as your boyfriend or girlfriend?
But….
If you are old enough to rent a AIRBNB without parental consent, what do you call that person in your life that makes your heart skip a beat either because you love them SOOO much or you’re thinking about a pillow over their head while they’re sleeping?
Partner sounds so western to me: Howdy there Partner…Do you want your relationship to resemble a Sergio Leone movie? Though…what is spaghetti western for partner?
What about when people add decoration to partner?
Life partner? That sounds like your bunkmate in Cell Block H.
Domestic partner? When I hear this, all I can think is- do you want someone in your life for love, or for dusting and repairing things?
Significant other? How do we feel about that one? Significant is a nice strong word- shows a hint of sentiment…but is the use of the word other too insignificant?
Main squeeze? Too hippy?
Lover? Is that too boom chick a wow wow?
Sweetheart? Too Happy Days?
Suitor? Too transactional?
I just googled synonyms for boyfriend….worshipper comes up…
I think that would be a good one-
“So and so…come meet the person who worships me….” Yes…I would like to say that about someone. Though, I would never want to be referred to as the worshipper- only the worshipee…
Beloved? How does beloved work? Let’s try that out:
“So and so, meet my beloved?”
hmmmm
Nope…doesn’t work for me…
I’m seriously thinking that people get married just because it’s so much easier to say husband or wife…
Follower comes up…thanks wordhippo.com for that one…
Can you imagine introducing someone as your “follower”?
Where’s the kool aid?
Paramour?
Toy boy?
Companion?
Soul mate?
If you weren’t married but were in a situation, what would you want to be called? How would you want to be referred to?
There’s 141 suggestions on wordhippo.com…
What say you all?
How do you refer to the love of your life?
I will say having married in our 50’s 2 years ago it is much more comfortable saying husband and wife and having that defined term than trying to come up with an explanation when we were dating for two years prior. (Dating even sounded corny to me) Boyfriend girlfriend seem too weird… significant other didn’t flow right… partner was odd…. So when dating I just introduced him as l, “this is Steve” and let people figure it out for themselves.
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😉but I know some people who would have issues with that…😆
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Yup! There is always some people who will have an issue with something. I guess that’s OK! His 91 year old mother has an 86 year old boyfriend for 25 years!! I think it’s cute but I get some raised eyebrows from a few people when I mention it!! 😀
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💗
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To all, I would use his name and nothing else. Why does there need to be a qualifier? How we act toward each other would indicate our relationship. Of course, I’ve been married over 50 years so I can’t quite remember how I ever introduced him before hand. And it was a ‘quickie’ wedding (get your mind out of the gutter) so there was no real long list of people who had to meet him.
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I know people who actually have gotten upset when no qualifier is used…but that’s a whole other blog…
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I’ve heard my husband’s ex-wife refer to her live in guy of 8 years as her roommate. Even just calling him “my guy” sounds better. Do the words we choose say something about how we view the relationship?
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That’s the 64000$ question…does how you introduce someone matter?
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Worshiper?🤣🤣🤣🤣 Hey, meet XYZ, my worshiper. Follower sounds a like stalker-ish. Hey, this is XYZ, my follower (on Facebook, Twitter, instagram, pinterest or blog?)🤪
While in college, my classmates used to introduce their girlfriend/boyfriend as “cousin”. Reminds me, is beau in the list?
Since I am single, I don’t think I would worry about how to introduce ‘The One’ (ah see, another word 😉). When I do find someone and it comes to the introduction part, I will remember to email you and talk about this.🤪🤣 So find the right word by then.😉
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I’m on it! Beau isn’t bad….but worshipper? Right?
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Maybe the term is for the clingy types. 😉
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😉
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Good questions. “Significant” other makes me wonder if there are “other” others. Partner is too cold for me. I might say “This is my Hunny …” Another one of the reasons why if something happens to my husband, I’m going solo.
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😉I totally get that
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I’m with you. Not interested in Round 2 if circumstances present.
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In most of the books I read, dating people are referred to as boyfriend or girlfriend no matter how old they are. It doesn’t seem those designators or any of the others you threw out there quite fit. I am with those who say just use their name without a qualifier, so I am looking forward to a future post where you discuss people getting upset over that. That response strikes me as very rude.
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I know people who have gotten into fights with their whatever’s because they didn’t like how they were addressed. For some people it’s a really big signifier to how and where you fall in someone’s life/priorities
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Ah, I understand now. I assumed it was the person receiving the introduction that was upset. Yes, I do see how that could cause issues with the person you are in a relationship with. Maybe that is why people go with boyfriend/girlfriend: that allows for a lot of space on the commitment continuum, from we just started dating to I hope to live out my life with this person.
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It’s a slight distinction in theory, but in reality, is there more to it? Always something to think about
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I’ve heard lady-friend in people older than 50 but I don’t know what the male was called. I think it stayed with boyfriend…
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I don’t really like lady friend….
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If someone is offended by just receiving a name – get some new friends! How about “we’re exclusive” (always assuming it’s true) if someone prods for more information.
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I think there are nuances and it all comes down to what you want and if you’re actually receiving it…
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Thanks for the Monday morning giggle! I have no idea what I’d say at age 80! For now I’m on my own so I don’t know. I guess when I meet him and we become an ‘item’ I will revisit this post so I can figure it out!
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😉
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I’m with you on this… I say other or partner. I’m not keen on the term boy/girl friend as it sounds very high school. I’d love to introduce him as my soul mate (how I see him) but that would make others, and myself feel a bit queasy!
And yes that is such a coincidence about the same birthdays! X
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Meant to say *other half … not just other. That would sound awful!
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😉
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I just thought the birthday thing was just bizarre…
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If I were in that situation in my.later years I like my guy or companion.
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💗
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I think I would like a worshipper and then I’d call him that, and/or lover, in front of people just to see their reaction at the visual it represents. 😂😇
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The visual is priceless
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I would probably introduce my wife as my follower if say we were in an open been relationship lol
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that’s BDSM not been lol
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😉
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😉
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My husband and I were together for 25 years before we decided to get married. He always introduced me as his “reason for living.” Now that I’m his “wife,” it just doesn’t have the same ring….
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Well, reason for living is sort of perfect….sigh….
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I refer to her as my first wife. We’ve been married over 52 years.
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😉now that’s good…
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The wife in a couple I knew who had been married over 40 years (maybe 50) had a car with a license plate that said 1st wife! My uncle who had been married 3 times referred to his 3rd wife, who ended up to be his longest marriage, as “my wife of the moment.”
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I love that…
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Since our ability to mix and mingle has been pretty much nixed for a half decade to come, or thereabout, I think the question mute. But a Big Fun post none the less. I’ve introduce SNZ recently as Secret Service, but as the virus vagues, I think I’ll try inamorata.
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Oooh….there you go….that’s a good one
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Oh thank you! I love your writing, so creative and it makes me smile sometimes. I agree that boyfriend seems odd when the person is in their 80’s. I knew a couple that called her other Rat and Fink. Enjoyed the post, and yes, husband and wife is better than all those other wordhippo adjectives. LOL
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Rat and fink….now there something with some style….
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Haha I love this – how about mate? (is that too animalistic?) One I dislike is my “better” half? Oh yeah? What makes that person “better”? I like this is my friend, all great relationships must be based on friendship, otherwise what else matters? I know, I know, “Friend” seems too casual, but do we really owe others a description of our relationships? Hmmmm.
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It’s not for others…it’s for the person you’re with….how would you want your person to introduce you to someone else
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My bad.
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😉
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Boyfriend or girlfriend does sound silly. Believe I would go with friend.
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Friend is solid and all purpose. But, does your “person” want to be referred to the same way you would refer to your actual friend? It could be a slippery slope
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I remember as a late teenager, a casual boyfriend introduced me to his friend as “his ole’ lady”. That irked me as a) I was probably 17, and b) we weren’t ‘exclusive’ (or he wasn’t). So aside from being identified as property, I thought it was a pretty arrogant claim.
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See? You have to wonder about certain terms/phrases that are used…
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My husband said he would want be called “my lover” or “trusted friend and ally” I would be called the same. LOL
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😉
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In some ways, I think it is adorable for those in an older generation (and it is so sad how close I am to that now) to use the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. They tend to bring a sense of youth and fun to the concept and who doesn’t need that in their lives? It can come across as silly, so I get that it feels a little weird. I kind of felt that way after I’d been divorced and was a single mom and dating again. I think this is one of those things that you can always just fall back on what the couple uses to refer to each other. For the most part, I don’t mind any of the terms, though I have a strong dislike for “beloved”, only because of a personal experience that left certain negative connotations tied to that word in my brain.
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Words have powerful memories…
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I introduce Bill as the love of my life. I detest partner as is infers we share belongings. We don’t. At this stage of the game we are fiercely independent and plan to stay that way. And here’s a coincidence for you: each and every one of my relationships has been with a virgo, two with same birthdate down to the same year. They don’t last 😦
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Oooh…the Virgo thing….that would make a great story….about how the star signs almost Aline or something….
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I laugh at the terms boyfriend and girlfriend as applied to older people. We need brand new labels!!
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We really do!
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They used to be called constant companions in the papers long ago…
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That’s a fun term
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I call her Cindy
That sounds snarky, except for the fact that I live alone and don’t have any love interest right now. I can say that Sunshine and I referred to each other as fiance and husband and wife and such for years before we got married
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Cindy is cute
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my wife started out as my girlfriend even though I was 40 and she was 28 but the thing is we know a lot of the same people, so mostly it’s by name for new people, it’s my wife. Privately Jess and call each other Bunny more than our actual name.
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I love that
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Not even privately, I mean there are times when we are out and about both of us will say bun or bunny or cuddle bunny by instinct
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I think that adorable…sorry…hopeless romantic
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likewise
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I’ve never felt comfortable with any names. I just kind of always had a “gal pal” or “friend”. Pretty close to the chest on that stuff, I guess.
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I understand that…but how did the other feel being referred to as that
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Umm . . . there’s a reason I’m still a bachelor fourteen years after my divorce. 😉
But seriously, I have used the names. I just don’t think it HAS to be said is all. If we’re together, we’re together.
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😉
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My Sweetie:)
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💗💗💗
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What about other half? Actually now thinking about it that doesn’t sound right either. I want to be known as ‘She who must be obeyed 😁
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Ok…that’s my favorite
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Lady friend and Gentleman friend were the terms that used to be used. They are awful. I’d just skirt round it by using names. As I decline into my dotage it will soon be “carer”. As has been said before – easier to get married.
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Carer….ha…..FYI I mentioned you in my post today…though you might not recognize it because I spelled your name wrong…
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I noticed. 🙂 I am thinking of a suitable reply…
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Oooh….now I’m breathless with anticipation….
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Better breathe, I’m working slowly today…
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Exhale……
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It’s probably just as well.I’m about to have a cup of tea and watch some quiz shows. I will be back to speed this evening.
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Don’t ramp up too fast….
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I assure you, nobody is going to mistake me for a fast thing.
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😉
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Very thought provoking post. In enghlish I refer to my partner as my other half, significant other or just my man. In Norwegian we have the term samboer (meaning cohabitant) that we use for a partner you live with that is commonly used here
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Oooh…I didn’t think about borrowing a term from another place! Samboer. That’s perfect. A little exotic. Not cute or gimmicky.
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I’ve been busy this week and am just seeing & enjoying this post and all the comments now. I have a fair amount of personal experience in this realm since I became single in my late 40s. I’ve dated, been in a few relationships, and I’ve always used boyfriend and occasionally boy toy 😉depending on the man I’m referring to. Recently I have someone new and I’ve told friends (not introducing him because that hasn’t happened yet) “I have a new man.” Intentionally using man because he acts like a grown up which the last one did not. Girlfriend still works for me. He referred to me as his girlfriend and I’m very happy with that designation.
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As long as you’re happy with it it’s ok
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Very happy. 😊
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💗💗
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What about f*** buddies? Or 😀 is that tooo causal.
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An unmarried colleague of mine uses the term partner and ALWAYS refer’s to her as ‘the missus’…………. a very British phrase most working class men have for their ‘better half’ (another common British phrase).
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………….. ‘my good lady’ is another one I hear often!
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Hmmmm…not sure I like that one
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Better half is probably accurate…😉
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A work colleague of mine (lovely guy and now retired) ALWAYS referred to his wife as “her indoors”……….. quite endearing in a way.
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💗
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casual!
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Depends on the relationship
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I refer to YBW as my husband, but I call him my Sweetheart or my Beloved.
Thing 2 used to introduce Boyfriend J (no longer the boyfriend) like this: This is J, we date.
She was 22 and didn’t want to use the term ‘boyfriend’.
In my experience, the word partner is very European…meaning most of the couples who say partner about their spouse are from Europe or the UK.
I loved this post so much!
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Thank you!
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I think boyfriend/girlfriend is just fine 😀
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